Friends
I am worried about my friends.
This is a point that should stand on its own and it does. But what it means alone, that I am concerned about my friends in the passive sense, i.e. I care about them, is not what I meant.
I am actively worried about my friends. More and more, I am seeing my friends' emotional problems, and it's distressing to me. I don't know how to help, I don't know what to do. Everything I consider saying, the "It's all rights" and the "You're a wonderful persons," they all sound trite and hackneyed. What do you do when the truth just sounds like another line?
I spend a lot of time feeling sorry for myself. I do stupid things. I've even hurt some of my friends, never intending to. I believe that I have ruined the relationship of one of my good friends recently, the other party whom was also a good friend of mine. I feel bad that I hurt them, yes. But I also feel sorry for myself, because I've been injured as well. How's that for awful? I go and do something like that, and have the gall to feel sorry for myself.
But... That sort of thing pales. On occasion, I get a brief glimpse of what's really going on around me. And when my friends are suffering, I can't really give them a hug, even though it's instinctually what makes sense to me. Because it's also instinctually weird, and off-limits. Go social consciousness.
So here I am. I'm friends with these people because of what I get out of it. It's the little things, like intelligent conversation, or just "Want to get food?" That's what really does it for me. And those little things... they're the take. If the give is left derelict...
So yeah. I'm a selfish ass, but we knew that going in, right? Right. And further, there are people that I think myself superior to. But feeling sorry for somebody, or feeling bad for them doesn't mean you think yourself superior. And really, I think pretty much all of my friends are better people than I am.
Though right now, if somebody were to propose to me that I was not a worthwhile person, I would be hard-pressed to fight back beyond politely and insincerely disagreeing.
Be that as it may, if you know me, and I mean you know me, then this is directed at you.
You are more than a worthwhile person. If you do not believe that, then at least I've gotten it off my chest.
This is your hug. This is your affirmation. If the above was not true, then I'd have barely wasted a moment's breath on you. Yeah, there are people I think I'm superior to. But there are people who can hold it together, and simply choose not to. Maybe they outright refused. That kind of person... well. I don't really need to go there.
So here we go. Tomorrow's coming with amazing speed. Wanna go get food?
This is a point that should stand on its own and it does. But what it means alone, that I am concerned about my friends in the passive sense, i.e. I care about them, is not what I meant.
I am actively worried about my friends. More and more, I am seeing my friends' emotional problems, and it's distressing to me. I don't know how to help, I don't know what to do. Everything I consider saying, the "It's all rights" and the "You're a wonderful persons," they all sound trite and hackneyed. What do you do when the truth just sounds like another line?
I spend a lot of time feeling sorry for myself. I do stupid things. I've even hurt some of my friends, never intending to. I believe that I have ruined the relationship of one of my good friends recently, the other party whom was also a good friend of mine. I feel bad that I hurt them, yes. But I also feel sorry for myself, because I've been injured as well. How's that for awful? I go and do something like that, and have the gall to feel sorry for myself.
But... That sort of thing pales. On occasion, I get a brief glimpse of what's really going on around me. And when my friends are suffering, I can't really give them a hug, even though it's instinctually what makes sense to me. Because it's also instinctually weird, and off-limits. Go social consciousness.
So here I am. I'm friends with these people because of what I get out of it. It's the little things, like intelligent conversation, or just "Want to get food?" That's what really does it for me. And those little things... they're the take. If the give is left derelict...
So yeah. I'm a selfish ass, but we knew that going in, right? Right. And further, there are people that I think myself superior to. But feeling sorry for somebody, or feeling bad for them doesn't mean you think yourself superior. And really, I think pretty much all of my friends are better people than I am.
Though right now, if somebody were to propose to me that I was not a worthwhile person, I would be hard-pressed to fight back beyond politely and insincerely disagreeing.
Be that as it may, if you know me, and I mean you know me, then this is directed at you.
You are more than a worthwhile person. If you do not believe that, then at least I've gotten it off my chest.
This is your hug. This is your affirmation. If the above was not true, then I'd have barely wasted a moment's breath on you. Yeah, there are people I think I'm superior to. But there are people who can hold it together, and simply choose not to. Maybe they outright refused. That kind of person... well. I don't really need to go there.
So here we go. Tomorrow's coming with amazing speed. Wanna go get food?