May 19, 2006 20:39
I guess what it comes down to is that I feel like a bad friend. I mean let's look at this more carefully:
1. I have a small group of amazing amazing girls from J-town, whom I love dearly. One, I have known for 10 years, one for 8 years, and two others for 4 years. They are awesome girls. Everyday I wish that maybe for just one day I was at Johnston High with them. Sometimes it just seems better to me. Don't get me wrong, I love Mount so much and all my Mount friends but it's just me and these lovely ladies have a crazy bond.. it's weird and spectacular.
2. I have other friends from my town who I have known since 6th grade and though I don't see them that much, I still love them. When I see them, it is like woah party. I feel bad a lot for not keeping in touch with them as much as I should.
3. Mount: There is one person in particular whom I feel so close to. We are so much alike and we just completely get each other. We get along so well. But them, I feel that this person doesn't even care. I'm just another aquintance to be tossed aside when somebody cooler comes around. The feeling sucks. I just don't know what to do when it seems like someone I feel so close to would rather be in college, and never have to see me again.
4. Mount: There are 3 amazing girls who are so special to me. One is totally me. I think we are the same person. Maybe. But yeah I love these girls but then I feel that they don't feel the same. One day we're all best friends and the next day we are separated 2 and 2 or 3 and 1. This also sucks. I want everyone to get along. We could be great the 4 of us in school, but that never seems to happen. Also... yeah.
5. Mount: I basically love everybody. I have a large group of very close friends. A few guys and a bunch of ladies. It's great. No problems there I guess, except for that sometimes I feel like I ignore them sometimes because i'm trying too hard with other people, one person in particular (#3) who may not even like me half the time.
This arrangement sucks. Despite this, I have been excessively over-happy lately. I don't even know why. I am getting a C+ in math even though I had an A+ last quarter. I feel disconnected from like a billion of my friends. But yet, I am so happy. That is good though. Also, I am more jealous then I ever thought I was, and I hate it. psh well what an entry.
So gotta be at MSC for 8:15 a.m. tomorrow to leave for the RI Girls Outdoor Track Class Championships in Middletown.. sweet. Back to Mount at 4-ish.. Ryan's @ 6.. Music Man @ LaSalle like 7.
Sunday work 9-5 then possibly movies.
I'm done.
bye
- K. Rae