(no subject)

May 19, 2006 20:39

I guess what it comes down to is that I feel like a bad friend.   I mean let's look at this more carefully:

1.   I have a small group of amazing amazing girls from J-town, whom I love dearly.  One, I have known for 10 years, one for 8 years, and two others for 4 years.  They are awesome girls.  Everyday I wish that maybe for just one day I was at Johnston High with them.  Sometimes it just seems better to me.  Don't get me wrong, I love Mount so much and all my Mount friends but it's just me and these lovely ladies have a crazy bond.. it's weird and spectacular.

2.  I have other friends from my town who I have known since 6th grade and though I don't see them that much, I still love them.  When I see them, it is like woah party.  I feel bad a lot for not keeping in touch with them as much as I should.

3.  Mount:   There is one person in particular whom I feel so close to.  We are so much alike and we just completely get each other.  We get along so well.  But them, I feel that this person doesn't even care.  I'm just another aquintance to be tossed aside when somebody cooler comes around.  The feeling sucks.  I just don't know what to do when it seems like someone I feel so close to would rather be in college, and never have to see me again.

4.  Mount:  There are 3 amazing girls who are so special to me.  One is totally me.  I think we are the same person.  Maybe.  But yeah I love these girls but then I feel that they don't feel the same.  One day we're all best friends and the next day we are separated 2 and 2 or 3 and 1.  This also sucks.  I want everyone to get along.  We could be great the 4 of us in school, but that never seems to happen.  Also... yeah.

5.  Mount:  I basically love everybody.  I have a large group of very close friends.  A few guys and a bunch of ladies.   It's great.  No problems there I guess, except for that sometimes I feel like I ignore them sometimes because i'm trying too hard with other people, one person in particular (#3) who may not even like me half the time.

This arrangement sucks.  Despite this, I have been excessively over-happy lately.  I don't even know why.  I am getting a C+ in math even though I had an A+ last quarter.  I feel disconnected from like a billion of my friends.  But yet, I am so happy.  That is good though.  Also, I am more jealous then I ever thought I was, and I hate it.  psh well what an entry.

So gotta be at MSC for 8:15 a.m. tomorrow to leave for the RI Girls Outdoor Track Class Championships in Middletown.. sweet.   Back to Mount at 4-ish.. Ryan's @ 6.. Music Man @ LaSalle like 7.

Sunday work 9-5 then possibly movies.

I'm done.

bye

- K. Rae
Previous post Next post
Up