but if you left it up to me every day would be a holiday from real
it's been a long long time since I updated this thing. I've got lots on my mind, it might sound bitchy, but its how i feel.
-Things are good with Nick, we got engaged in October and are planning a wedding for summer 2008. I am super super excited. I love him so so so so so much, I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with him. :) This summer I am going to Greece with his family for 4-5 weeks, I am super excited and scared to meet h is whole family!
-College - I am less than 100 days away from graduation, I do not want to do anything except graduate and leave Worcester. I have decided against going to law school, for now. Next year I am taking the year off. Most likely I will be getting my teaching license then getting a job :)
-Family. It's hard, I love love love my immediate family, but the rest of my family drives me up a wall (well my dads side with the exception of Matt). Not to mention my dad is sick, my mom is stressed to the max, my grandmother just had surgery. It never ends, every day I grow increasingly more scared that I am going to lose someone else so close to me. I hope it doesn't happen because I don't think I could handle it if it did.
-Alpha Gam. It's hard to believe that I am almost done my undergrad affiliation with my sorority. In some regards, I am glad to be moving into a different life style, but there are going to be some amazing girls that I am going to miss terribly. I hope they don't forget me.
-Home Friends. Erin and I are not talking at this moment. She finally admitted that she was mad and jealous that I got engaged first. I hope that she has gotten over it because her marriage will never last if it was just a competition to see who gets married or engaged first. I have been having a hard time getting Tabitha to ever call me back. It's frustrating, I have grown up with these girls then all of a sudden they are too good for Caty and I. I just don't get it, perhaps I never will. I have been talking with Ange, Amy, and Jill and it seems all is well with them.
-WPI Friends. I really have been trying to not be as defensive and grumpy and bitchy, because that was the biggest thing Jack hated about me. I don't want to be that person anymore. But, I have changed and some of my friends are blaming it on Nick or Maria, not even realizing that they need to stop being so bitchy and mean and heartless too. It's so frustrating because few people will ever address her about her behavior, so she goes on thinking its okay while everyone gets so torn up about it and just taking it. gah, i wish people would say something.
I also miss Rob. Its been a long time since we've had a real talk. I love him and miss him so much, and I miss what we were, but I don't know that we'll ever get back there again. There have been some major occurrences that have made us both change. And stubborn. I don't know what to do. I just want my best friend back. :'(
I still miss Jack, every day. I can't help it. Some days I just really need to call him and I can't. I feel like I am trying to make one of my other guys be him, and its not helping/working and it is making me more and more sad. Some days I will sit and talk to him, I really hope he is out there listening and helping me through. I am planning this wedding and some days all I can think is, he is supposed to be there, standing there telling Nick to be good to me, have a special dance with me, and probably shove cake all over my face. I am going to enjoy my wedding day, but I am going to miss his presence.
I have planned some wedding stuff. Nick and I are looking at reception sites on Saturday. We have picked the church, and set three tentative dates. We also have picked our wedding party. I have told a few people but not everyone. I know some people are expecting to be asked and I don't want to deal with the repercussions right now. We are asking the people that best know Nick and I both, as well as people who are drama-free and fun. I am never expecting any of these girls to have me in their wedding (except Caty obviously) and vice verse. I don't think that is how it should be. This is difficult and I wish it wasn't.
In short, life is good right now. A little stressful but I am getting through. I love my friends and family and of course Nick. They help me through :)
and I am seeing Jack's Mannequin tomorrow, so effing excited.
-Things are good with Nick, we got engaged in October and are planning a wedding for summer 2008. I am super super excited. I love him so so so so so much, I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with him. :) This summer I am going to Greece with his family for 4-5 weeks, I am super excited and scared to meet h is whole family!
-College - I am less than 100 days away from graduation, I do not want to do anything except graduate and leave Worcester. I have decided against going to law school, for now. Next year I am taking the year off. Most likely I will be getting my teaching license then getting a job :)
-Family. It's hard, I love love love my immediate family, but the rest of my family drives me up a wall (well my dads side with the exception of Matt). Not to mention my dad is sick, my mom is stressed to the max, my grandmother just had surgery. It never ends, every day I grow increasingly more scared that I am going to lose someone else so close to me. I hope it doesn't happen because I don't think I could handle it if it did.
-Alpha Gam. It's hard to believe that I am almost done my undergrad affiliation with my sorority. In some regards, I am glad to be moving into a different life style, but there are going to be some amazing girls that I am going to miss terribly. I hope they don't forget me.
-Home Friends. Erin and I are not talking at this moment. She finally admitted that she was mad and jealous that I got engaged first. I hope that she has gotten over it because her marriage will never last if it was just a competition to see who gets married or engaged first. I have been having a hard time getting Tabitha to ever call me back. It's frustrating, I have grown up with these girls then all of a sudden they are too good for Caty and I. I just don't get it, perhaps I never will. I have been talking with Ange, Amy, and Jill and it seems all is well with them.
-WPI Friends. I really have been trying to not be as defensive and grumpy and bitchy, because that was the biggest thing Jack hated about me. I don't want to be that person anymore. But, I have changed and some of my friends are blaming it on Nick or Maria, not even realizing that they need to stop being so bitchy and mean and heartless too. It's so frustrating because few people will ever address her about her behavior, so she goes on thinking its okay while everyone gets so torn up about it and just taking it. gah, i wish people would say something.
I also miss Rob. Its been a long time since we've had a real talk. I love him and miss him so much, and I miss what we were, but I don't know that we'll ever get back there again. There have been some major occurrences that have made us both change. And stubborn. I don't know what to do. I just want my best friend back. :'(
I still miss Jack, every day. I can't help it. Some days I just really need to call him and I can't. I feel like I am trying to make one of my other guys be him, and its not helping/working and it is making me more and more sad. Some days I will sit and talk to him, I really hope he is out there listening and helping me through. I am planning this wedding and some days all I can think is, he is supposed to be there, standing there telling Nick to be good to me, have a special dance with me, and probably shove cake all over my face. I am going to enjoy my wedding day, but I am going to miss his presence.
I have planned some wedding stuff. Nick and I are looking at reception sites on Saturday. We have picked the church, and set three tentative dates. We also have picked our wedding party. I have told a few people but not everyone. I know some people are expecting to be asked and I don't want to deal with the repercussions right now. We are asking the people that best know Nick and I both, as well as people who are drama-free and fun. I am never expecting any of these girls to have me in their wedding (except Caty obviously) and vice verse. I don't think that is how it should be. This is difficult and I wish it wasn't.
In short, life is good right now. A little stressful but I am getting through. I love my friends and family and of course Nick. They help me through :)
and I am seeing Jack's Mannequin tomorrow, so effing excited.