And I'm sure the view from Heaven/Beats the hell out of mine here

Aug 08, 2006 20:06

here it is: the entry about Jack.

I never thought I would be writing about losing one of the most important people in my life when I am 22 years old. I always envisioned Jack being in my wedding party, dancing with me at my wedding, my kids calling him uncle Jack, and me telling my kids to not drink anything uncle Jack gives them.

and then all those thoughts were ripped away me.

That night (Saturday) is so foggy for me, i remember answering my phone and telling Rob to fuck off because its not funny and I hated Jack's death jokes. and then reality set in. Rob would never play that joke for that long on me. The ride to new haven to get Rob and then to Wethersfield to get my car then to Worcester were probably the longest drives of my life.

i have so many memories of Jack, so many roadtrips, inside jokes, personal favorites, and rituals between the two of us and now its all memories, and i loved him, i really did, the kid was truly one of the good ones, he believed in me so whole-heartdly, in a way you would expect from your family and from your spouse (or future one), and he just had faith in me and my abilities. I still have Rob, CN, and Dale, but who knows where they will be next year. Jack I knew I could count on to be close by.

I don't what else to write about this. I was extremely happy to be talking to his parents, siblings, and grandparents about all the ridiculous things they knew we did together, or even witnessed. And it was nice to be with his Syracuse friends. It was nice to hear he cared about me just as much as I cared about him.

And, unfortunately I was also pretty frustrated about things happening. I didn't want a million people asking me how I am and what I needed. I was especially annoyed when I answered my phone and because I didnt say anything or wasnt crying when I picked up that meant I didn't know. Of course I knew, he was my best friend.

All I ask is if you have any pictures at all of Jack please email them to me at kellyannemcnally@gmail.com or kellym@wpi.edu

i love you Jack and miss you more than words can express.
R.I.P RJS 10-30-83 - 7-29-06 save a place for me right next to you, i'll be with you again someday.

i will try to live life like you from now on


Friendship at it's finest :)
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