...and nothing fuels a good flirtation, like need and anger and desperation...
As promised, I bring to you some stories from my new home of Waterford. Remember how I mentioned this place was a Ghettopia? Well that's what I'm getting back to. Today I'm feeling particularly cheaky (inebriated?) and a random assortment of pictures happened to pop up while I was sorting out some files. A bunch of them were old ass webcam pics from a picture conversation between a friend and I. What does that mean? Well take a look. Maybe I should go do something productive. Google image search ate my soul.
As always spelling and grammatical errors left intact!
Now without further ado:
So as most of you know, I moved to Waterford in December. Thus far, I enjoy the area. I do not enjoy the particular apartment community that I live in. Wahh wahh, I know. Over time, I've learned to just accept my fate and find amusement in the events that happen around here.
First up is "Fat Albert", wife and his two hellspawn. This is a family that lives directly upstairs from us. I honestly am starting to think these people are vampires. Very fat and noisy vampires. Very fat and noisy vampires who vacuum like it's going out of style.
Now don't get me wrong. There isn't anything wrong with being fat (except the obvious detriment to health)...and I don't mind vampires. I mean, I wouldn't suck blood or anything but these people need to live. It's instinct. I don't have anything on the vacuuming, really.
However. It is always dead silent in the daytime until 11pm to Midnight rolls around, the everyone wakes up and gets active. Fat Albert, Fat Alberta and the kids. THE KIDS. Who in their right mind has kids awake until 5am? (The kids consist of a baby and a 3 year old.) That's all fine and dandy I guess. Different strokes for different folks. But this family also must belong to a production of "STOMP".
The kids must wear safety helmets at the rate they fall down. So we have two large people walking, rather, STOMPING around until 5am, running vacuums and murdering innocents while their children rampage in sugar-induced frenzy--running into walls, screaming and generally making me want to tie my tubes right damn now. The glee. This we have learned to cope with despite calls to the courtesy office and police over their domestic spats. I honestly have never heard one say, "Hell naw, Hell motherfucking-naw." So many times within the space of two minutes.
(<---Maybe this is their favorite movie.)
Getting away from that one, we have security gates at the complex so it's safer, right? Well late at night people in beater cars go bowling for security gates. No more gates. Hurray! The more the merrier! Let all of the friendly neighborhood thugs into my complex! Ah yes. We shall enjoy some tea and crumpets and then discuss whether we will do a panty raid or rob the convenience store. Good times!
Anyway...the rest of my complaints are going to come in a rush as It's just about that time. You know, PICTURE time.
To sum things up, upstairs neighbors are excessively loud and abusive to each other, there's no security when we pay for it, the laundry room is practically non existent, we've had issues with ants, the kids here says things that would make a hooker blush, shady characters who cat call me constantly (very degrading), people who ask for money or rides right at out private entrance, kids who throw m-80s at the doors (sounds like gunfire), loud drunk ghetto people at all hours of the night, and used condoms in the yard (EW).
Nothing is sacred here. Not even muppets.
To top it all off the management even made a memo stating a raise in theft and vandalism and to have all citizens "watch out for themselves". Gee thanks guys! I'm glad to know you care.
I might as well live in a box!
Box <<<--Me living in it----
Anyway, despite all this, we are now mostly just amused by the drama. This is a temporary arrangement after all. We will buy another house within a couple months.
But before I move on, I just want to say a hardy THANK YOU ALL to all my awesome fantastic upstanding neighbors:
...
Thank you!
No, really! THANK YOU!
On a positive note, I had an interview today, and a 2nd interview on Saturday for a job making conciderably more than I ever have before. Wish me luck.
Enough of this random crap, I need to get back to Resident Evil 4. Zombie (sorta?) killing has never been so sweet. Remember how I said I could die happy after watching Final Fantasy: Advent Children? Well I lied. I just didn't yet realize the love that is RE4. Oh Capcom, sometimes you just kill me dead.
...ALOT. Thank God for continues!
As always spelling and grammatical errors left intact!
Now without further ado:
So as most of you know, I moved to Waterford in December. Thus far, I enjoy the area. I do not enjoy the particular apartment community that I live in. Wahh wahh, I know. Over time, I've learned to just accept my fate and find amusement in the events that happen around here.
First up is "Fat Albert", wife and his two hellspawn. This is a family that lives directly upstairs from us. I honestly am starting to think these people are vampires. Very fat and noisy vampires. Very fat and noisy vampires who vacuum like it's going out of style.
Now don't get me wrong. There isn't anything wrong with being fat (except the obvious detriment to health)...and I don't mind vampires. I mean, I wouldn't suck blood or anything but these people need to live. It's instinct. I don't have anything on the vacuuming, really.
However. It is always dead silent in the daytime until 11pm to Midnight rolls around, the everyone wakes up and gets active. Fat Albert, Fat Alberta and the kids. THE KIDS. Who in their right mind has kids awake until 5am? (The kids consist of a baby and a 3 year old.) That's all fine and dandy I guess. Different strokes for different folks. But this family also must belong to a production of "STOMP".
The kids must wear safety helmets at the rate they fall down. So we have two large people walking, rather, STOMPING around until 5am, running vacuums and murdering innocents while their children rampage in sugar-induced frenzy--running into walls, screaming and generally making me want to tie my tubes right damn now. The glee. This we have learned to cope with despite calls to the courtesy office and police over their domestic spats. I honestly have never heard one say, "Hell naw, Hell motherfucking-naw." So many times within the space of two minutes.
(<---Maybe this is their favorite movie.)
Getting away from that one, we have security gates at the complex so it's safer, right? Well late at night people in beater cars go bowling for security gates. No more gates. Hurray! The more the merrier! Let all of the friendly neighborhood thugs into my complex! Ah yes. We shall enjoy some tea and crumpets and then discuss whether we will do a panty raid or rob the convenience store. Good times!
Anyway...the rest of my complaints are going to come in a rush as It's just about that time. You know, PICTURE time.
To sum things up, upstairs neighbors are excessively loud and abusive to each other, there's no security when we pay for it, the laundry room is practically non existent, we've had issues with ants, the kids here says things that would make a hooker blush, shady characters who cat call me constantly (very degrading), people who ask for money or rides right at out private entrance, kids who throw m-80s at the doors (sounds like gunfire), loud drunk ghetto people at all hours of the night, and used condoms in the yard (EW).
Nothing is sacred here. Not even muppets.
To top it all off the management even made a memo stating a raise in theft and vandalism and to have all citizens "watch out for themselves". Gee thanks guys! I'm glad to know you care.
I might as well live in a box!
Box <<<--Me living in it----
Anyway, despite all this, we are now mostly just amused by the drama. This is a temporary arrangement after all. We will buy another house within a couple months.
But before I move on, I just want to say a hardy THANK YOU ALL to all my awesome fantastic upstanding neighbors:
...
Thank you!
No, really! THANK YOU!
On a positive note, I had an interview today, and a 2nd interview on Saturday for a job making conciderably more than I ever have before. Wish me luck.
Enough of this random crap, I need to get back to Resident Evil 4. Zombie (sorta?) killing has never been so sweet. Remember how I said I could die happy after watching Final Fantasy: Advent Children? Well I lied. I just didn't yet realize the love that is RE4. Oh Capcom, sometimes you just kill me dead.
...ALOT. Thank God for continues!