(no subject)
I've been through alot of shit lately.. and I'm not going to go through it all.
Let's just say that I've sick for a while.. sick to stomach and have no explanation as to why.
I just wish I was happy. I don't know what I need to be happy, but I want to find it. Judy made me realize something that I knew all along but didn't believe until she told me straight up. I can be without Mahoney and I will be fine, b/c the only reason I feel I need him is because I can't have him. If he was nice to me and we were together, I'd treat him like shit again cuz I would take him for granted. I don't want him as much as I think I do and I'm slowly starting to grasp it. He came into my work the other day for no reason and didn't even glance at me.. it was like a new birth. Like a new chapter has just begun. Funny how he claims he wants to get over me therefore, not talk to me, not talk about me or anything, but he comes into my work for no reason when he knows I'm there.. little strange. Maybe there was something he HAD TO TELL JASON that was life or death, but I doubt it. Everytime something new hits me about him doing something I don't approve of.. the "get over it" time has been cut down by alot, and I don't fret over shit half as long as I use to. I think this is a good sign. Eventually I will stop looking at his away messages and myspace profile.. in time I will stop looking. That's all I have to say about that...
Norm has kinda REALLY pissed me off.. talking shit about me in his blog about how I play games and shit but then I get an e-mail from him saying he misses me.. umm yeah, wtf? Who is playing games? Not me.. then I e-mail him so I can get my bowling ball from him and be rid of him and he doesn't write me back about it.. just keeps writing more shit about me on his myspace or w/e it is. I just want my bowling ball back.. I guess he's fucking this girl named Susan and while he's doing this he writing me saying he misees me and he's not into Susan.. I guess it's true you want what you can have. Because he can't have me.. at all.
I'm kinda sick of everyone talking about me.. but I'll get over it.. look where I work.. I mean I'm asking for it, right? Stuff I've heard about SW "behind the scenes" has really got me sad and down.
I have not drank in like 2 weeks.. see and everyone thought I couldn't do it. The weekend before I started school I got drunk one last time.. like really drunk and I haven't done it since I've been in school. But, we're going to Canada this weekend so I might indulge a little. But NEVER during the week! as if!
Krystle is REALLY sick.. she hasn't thrown up in like 7 years and she threw up on Sunday.. she has a kidney infection along with a fever and they told her she might have to be hospitalized.. she said she might go to hospital today.. but she didn't call me back about it.. I hope she's ok.. but I don't wanna wake her now.
I've stopped carrying my credit card around because it's out of control and I need to save for Cancun.. they said they only spend like $700 last year and it was spring break time, so that's comforting.
Wow.. I really to get around to getting Judy's b-day presents together.. ahh.. I gotta do that tomorrow.
Let's just say that I've sick for a while.. sick to stomach and have no explanation as to why.
I just wish I was happy. I don't know what I need to be happy, but I want to find it. Judy made me realize something that I knew all along but didn't believe until she told me straight up. I can be without Mahoney and I will be fine, b/c the only reason I feel I need him is because I can't have him. If he was nice to me and we were together, I'd treat him like shit again cuz I would take him for granted. I don't want him as much as I think I do and I'm slowly starting to grasp it. He came into my work the other day for no reason and didn't even glance at me.. it was like a new birth. Like a new chapter has just begun. Funny how he claims he wants to get over me therefore, not talk to me, not talk about me or anything, but he comes into my work for no reason when he knows I'm there.. little strange. Maybe there was something he HAD TO TELL JASON that was life or death, but I doubt it. Everytime something new hits me about him doing something I don't approve of.. the "get over it" time has been cut down by alot, and I don't fret over shit half as long as I use to. I think this is a good sign. Eventually I will stop looking at his away messages and myspace profile.. in time I will stop looking. That's all I have to say about that...
Norm has kinda REALLY pissed me off.. talking shit about me in his blog about how I play games and shit but then I get an e-mail from him saying he misses me.. umm yeah, wtf? Who is playing games? Not me.. then I e-mail him so I can get my bowling ball from him and be rid of him and he doesn't write me back about it.. just keeps writing more shit about me on his myspace or w/e it is. I just want my bowling ball back.. I guess he's fucking this girl named Susan and while he's doing this he writing me saying he misees me and he's not into Susan.. I guess it's true you want what you can have. Because he can't have me.. at all.
I'm kinda sick of everyone talking about me.. but I'll get over it.. look where I work.. I mean I'm asking for it, right? Stuff I've heard about SW "behind the scenes" has really got me sad and down.
I have not drank in like 2 weeks.. see and everyone thought I couldn't do it. The weekend before I started school I got drunk one last time.. like really drunk and I haven't done it since I've been in school. But, we're going to Canada this weekend so I might indulge a little. But NEVER during the week! as if!
Krystle is REALLY sick.. she hasn't thrown up in like 7 years and she threw up on Sunday.. she has a kidney infection along with a fever and they told her she might have to be hospitalized.. she said she might go to hospital today.. but she didn't call me back about it.. I hope she's ok.. but I don't wanna wake her now.
I've stopped carrying my credit card around because it's out of control and I need to save for Cancun.. they said they only spend like $700 last year and it was spring break time, so that's comforting.
Wow.. I really to get around to getting Judy's b-day presents together.. ahh.. I gotta do that tomorrow.