Ah. Shit.
We made 75 and finished the set a few days ago. I'm pretty happy about that.
***
At about 6AM, I started thinking, for no particular reason, about my last dog- first one I ever had from puppyhood, awesomest little dog there ever was, that I had to have put down earlier this year due to final chronic kidney failure. Not one of those utterly black moments where something you thought you were done with just jumps out of the bushes and sucker punches you- it just, for some reason, floated to mind and dangled there, inviting me to bust the scab open and start fingering the topic again. I sat there thinking, man, I feel like shit right now, then I thought, wait, no I don't. I just could, if I let things go that way. I opted not to. Instead I read 5 pages of Invictus and then turned in to go to sleep.
One of the reasons I fuck off so much, with so very many distractions, is that it's the only way I can shut my brain up when it starts heading off in a direction I'd rather it didn't.
Still, with homework finished, dark thoughts banished before they cast their shadow, and class looming shortly after I was to awaken (which probably wouldn't be bad at all), I still had this feeling today was going to suck. You know. The Tito feeling.
***
When you hear an EMT mutter under his breath, "That can't be right," ... that's a bad thing.
When it's right after measuring someone's blood pressure- that's a really bad thing.
So: Went to sleep at about 6:35AM. Was awakened at 8AM. Second class of my NEW NEW COLLEGE LIFE is at 6PM. It's 9:19AM right now.
Grandmother just got rushed off to St. Luke's, it looks like she had some kind of stroke in the middle of the night.
I'm sitting here wondering how I'm supposed to pay attention to the differences between prokaryotic and eukaryotic cells this afternoon because it beats wondering if she's going to come back in some semi-vegetative state or if she's going to come back at all.
I don't really have anything to close this out with, but if I told you I'd do something today and I end up no-showing or something please excuse me. I don't know what's going to happen now.
UPDATE: Not a stroke. Some kind of septic kidney infection that hasn't slid into outright kidney failure. Yet.
She may or may not be able to recover from it- the doctor doesn't know.
If you're the sort who does it, we could use all the prayers we can get over here right about now.
***
At about 6AM, I started thinking, for no particular reason, about my last dog- first one I ever had from puppyhood, awesomest little dog there ever was, that I had to have put down earlier this year due to final chronic kidney failure. Not one of those utterly black moments where something you thought you were done with just jumps out of the bushes and sucker punches you- it just, for some reason, floated to mind and dangled there, inviting me to bust the scab open and start fingering the topic again. I sat there thinking, man, I feel like shit right now, then I thought, wait, no I don't. I just could, if I let things go that way. I opted not to. Instead I read 5 pages of Invictus and then turned in to go to sleep.
One of the reasons I fuck off so much, with so very many distractions, is that it's the only way I can shut my brain up when it starts heading off in a direction I'd rather it didn't.
Still, with homework finished, dark thoughts banished before they cast their shadow, and class looming shortly after I was to awaken (which probably wouldn't be bad at all), I still had this feeling today was going to suck. You know. The Tito feeling.
***
When you hear an EMT mutter under his breath, "That can't be right," ... that's a bad thing.
When it's right after measuring someone's blood pressure- that's a really bad thing.
So: Went to sleep at about 6:35AM. Was awakened at 8AM. Second class of my NEW NEW COLLEGE LIFE is at 6PM. It's 9:19AM right now.
Grandmother just got rushed off to St. Luke's, it looks like she had some kind of stroke in the middle of the night.
I'm sitting here wondering how I'm supposed to pay attention to the differences between prokaryotic and eukaryotic cells this afternoon because it beats wondering if she's going to come back in some semi-vegetative state or if she's going to come back at all.
I don't really have anything to close this out with, but if I told you I'd do something today and I end up no-showing or something please excuse me. I don't know what's going to happen now.
UPDATE: Not a stroke. Some kind of septic kidney infection that hasn't slid into outright kidney failure. Yet.
She may or may not be able to recover from it- the doctor doesn't know.
If you're the sort who does it, we could use all the prayers we can get over here right about now.