Comments | keithlard: Paging Dr House

keithlard

Paging Dr House

Jan 30, 2008 23:47

If I am sick, I definitely want Dr House looking after me. OK, he might mistakenly pump me full of deadly toxick drugs, or give me unnecessary brain surgery, but ultimately he would save me. Unless I was suffering from lupus as he is not very good at diagnosing that ( Read more... )

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tomatorama January 31 2008, 07:05:00 UTC

I think I would be quite a good doctorb, just because plenty of the ones I've seen were pretty useless. So I think I could live up to that. Also, I think I could be a professional cymbal player.

keithlard January 31 2008, 08:19:33 UTC

The 'B" is for bargain?

I am only joking around as real docktors are great, and they do not hide in deserted parts of the hospital watching television, or mooch food from their staff, mostly. Why are the docktors you know useless, do they get all their medickal knowledge from the Junior Colour Encyclopædia of Medicine?

tomatorama January 31 2008, 08:29:36 UTC

The b is for bargain when deserved. Great docktors get to be docktors instead of doctorbs. But yeah some of them I see I doubt even have a colour encyclopedia (like Holly i hope??), just a photocopy that says "1. Check if they're fat. 2. Tell them they're fat. Not allowed any other diseases (including ones that cause this) until they have stopped bein fat. 3. They probably need you to tell them to exercise because they stoopid. 4. Assume hypochondria. 5. Holiday!"

keithlard January 31 2008, 23:30:51 UTC

The last time I saw the docktor he told me I was fat! Because I am. But obviously he thought my scales do not work. I am losing weight though due to a pizza-controlled diet and drinking only the most expensive posh wines, which are better for you. (There is no real evidence for it, but it is a scientifick fact.)

tomatorama February 1 2008, 09:30:56 UTC

Oh my diet is really the whole - "actually I was enjoying that, ffs give it back" because food is brilliant and I want to enjoy my life instead of supposedly prolonging it by being tedious. NO.

keithlard February 1 2008, 15:01:44 UTC

I have an ingenious diet which means I am allowed to eat just one bite of anything I like. By dint of rigorous practice I have now managed to cram a whole pizza into my mouth at one go. It then takes up to a week for me to digest this, like an enormous snake, but a snake that likes pizza.

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