Fading Away
Was I wrong to make you leave? I just needed space so once agan I pushed you out. Why do I resent you when I am with you, but love and miss you when you are gone? If you had a job, and had been gone a little bit every day for me to have my solitude and space, would that have made a difference? I wish I knew. My only regret, is I wish we had been ready and
mature enough to make it work.
It all went so wrong. I miss you and I wish you didn't have to leave my life...
I wish we didn't fight so much. I wish we could have seen eye to eye, and I wish we could have really put our egos aside to listen to one another. I wish I didn't take everything so personally. I wish I could have told you everything about me without fear of judgement, just recieve your love and acceptance and communication in return. I wanted to tell you
everything about me, and I wanted to know everything about you. I wanted you to be my best friend and my lover. You could never forgive me for my past and my mistakes, you didn't want to hear anything I wanted to tell you. I wanted you to trust me... I never wanted you to doubt me... I wanted you to be proud of me.
I wanted you to have your own life, your own goals, your own ambitions, you to get a job, a car, your friends, go out with the guys once in a while and let me be alone to catch up on my thoughts, my writing, my dancing.
I never want you to forget me... But that is too much to ask for then you could never move on... I feel I will never be able
to move on...
Two of my female coworkers were talking at my job today and one was saying how her and her husband decided to start a family and have a baby. I was so overcome with jealousy. I never wanted that before you. I was happy being a free spirited gypsy woman, going where the wind blows, committing to nothing... But I was ready and just waiting for you to catch up.
I miss your smell, your taste, your voice, your azure eyes, I miss how perfectly your hand fit into mine, and how well we fit intimately like a puzzle, the yin and yang. I miss your laugh and yes I even miss your bad gas and how we used to laugh
about our nasty fart jokes. I miss hearing you talk and whimper in your sleep, and I would hold you in my arms... I miss hearing you call me pumpkin, and I miss us cooking together and working together on the business, and exercising which usually lead to us discussing dirty thoughts about doing it on the bench, and start making out and rush home as fast as
we could.
You're the only voice my heart can recognize
I'll never be the same I'm caught inside the memories, the promises, our yesterdays and I belong to you.I can't just walk away cause after loving you I can never be the same.
And how can I pretend I've never known you?
Like it was all a dream, no.
I know I'll never forget
the way I always felt with you beside me
and how you loved me then.
You led me here,
then I watched you disappear.
You left this emptiness inside
and I can't turn back time
No, stay!
Nothing compares to you.
I'll never be the same,
not after loving you
And I remember everything,
Everything I loved,
I gave it away like it wasn’t enough
All the words I said and all you forgive
How could I hurt you again?
What if I let you in?
What if I made it right?
What if I give it up?
What if I want to try?
What if you take a chance?
What if I learn to love?
What if, what if we start again?
Emptiness inside me, wonder if you see
It’s my mistake and it’s hurting me
I known where we’ve been
How did we get so far?
What if, what if we start again?
I’m lost inside the pain I feel without you,
I can’t stop holding on, I need you with me!!!
I’m trapped inside the pain
Can we never love again?
I’m lost without you!!!
One more try,
Can we start again?
In my eyes, can you forgive me now?
Could we ever start again?
No... I am meant to be alone. And you deserve much better than me... Letting you go, you'll thank me someday.
mature enough to make it work.
It all went so wrong. I miss you and I wish you didn't have to leave my life...
I wish we didn't fight so much. I wish we could have seen eye to eye, and I wish we could have really put our egos aside to listen to one another. I wish I didn't take everything so personally. I wish I could have told you everything about me without fear of judgement, just recieve your love and acceptance and communication in return. I wanted to tell you
everything about me, and I wanted to know everything about you. I wanted you to be my best friend and my lover. You could never forgive me for my past and my mistakes, you didn't want to hear anything I wanted to tell you. I wanted you to trust me... I never wanted you to doubt me... I wanted you to be proud of me.
I wanted you to have your own life, your own goals, your own ambitions, you to get a job, a car, your friends, go out with the guys once in a while and let me be alone to catch up on my thoughts, my writing, my dancing.
I never want you to forget me... But that is too much to ask for then you could never move on... I feel I will never be able
to move on...
Two of my female coworkers were talking at my job today and one was saying how her and her husband decided to start a family and have a baby. I was so overcome with jealousy. I never wanted that before you. I was happy being a free spirited gypsy woman, going where the wind blows, committing to nothing... But I was ready and just waiting for you to catch up.
I miss your smell, your taste, your voice, your azure eyes, I miss how perfectly your hand fit into mine, and how well we fit intimately like a puzzle, the yin and yang. I miss your laugh and yes I even miss your bad gas and how we used to laugh
about our nasty fart jokes. I miss hearing you talk and whimper in your sleep, and I would hold you in my arms... I miss hearing you call me pumpkin, and I miss us cooking together and working together on the business, and exercising which usually lead to us discussing dirty thoughts about doing it on the bench, and start making out and rush home as fast as
we could.
You're the only voice my heart can recognize
I'll never be the same I'm caught inside the memories, the promises, our yesterdays and I belong to you.I can't just walk away cause after loving you I can never be the same.
And how can I pretend I've never known you?
Like it was all a dream, no.
I know I'll never forget
the way I always felt with you beside me
and how you loved me then.
You led me here,
then I watched you disappear.
You left this emptiness inside
and I can't turn back time
No, stay!
Nothing compares to you.
I'll never be the same,
not after loving you
And I remember everything,
Everything I loved,
I gave it away like it wasn’t enough
All the words I said and all you forgive
How could I hurt you again?
What if I let you in?
What if I made it right?
What if I give it up?
What if I want to try?
What if you take a chance?
What if I learn to love?
What if, what if we start again?
Emptiness inside me, wonder if you see
It’s my mistake and it’s hurting me
I known where we’ve been
How did we get so far?
What if, what if we start again?
I’m lost inside the pain I feel without you,
I can’t stop holding on, I need you with me!!!
I’m trapped inside the pain
Can we never love again?
I’m lost without you!!!
One more try,
Can we start again?
In my eyes, can you forgive me now?
Could we ever start again?
No... I am meant to be alone. And you deserve much better than me... Letting you go, you'll thank me someday.
