My life is a joke and the gods are getting a good laught out of it.
I accidentally did a no call no show today. I didn't think I had work today and I did. I am hanging out/staying over with friend today/last night and I am FAR away from home in East County. So I can't get to work on time for my shift. I am on my final write up for tardiness. I am probably going to be fired. I can't believe this is happening right before I am moving. I HATE my birthday. Every time around this time of year my financial and living situation goes to shit.
I am about to be broke and jobless, and if I don't find a new job right soon, homeless as well. I don't have any money saved up and if I get fired I wont be able to make rent. My landlord will take my deposit if I don't have rent for next month but I need that deposit to pay my share of my first month's rent at the new place with Ryan and Di and Lexie. In a nutshell, I am fucked.
I know I brought this upon myself. I didn't follow Bryan's financial advice to the letter like I should have.
I'm under so much stress and have so many obligations, but at this point I'm just making excuses. I fucked up, big time. I know Bryan and my mom have so much faith in me, but I don't know why, I fail them every time. As I get older year by year I become more and more of a failure. I am going to turn 30 next month, I am unmarried, broke, a college drop out, about to be jobless, and if I don't find another job right away, homeless.
My friend Jayden thinks I have a problem with gaming to much, she doesn't understand that I game because real life is awful and a struggle. When I game I can be powerful, beautiful, smart, and fight back. In real life I am an emotionally dysfunctional failure and it hard to fight that. it wears on me, and days like this, it finally catches up to me and I lose my job, my home, and my life tumbles into chaos. I just want stability but I'm not willing to make the sacrifices it takes to attain that until it is far too late. :(
I am about to be broke and jobless, and if I don't find a new job right soon, homeless as well. I don't have any money saved up and if I get fired I wont be able to make rent. My landlord will take my deposit if I don't have rent for next month but I need that deposit to pay my share of my first month's rent at the new place with Ryan and Di and Lexie. In a nutshell, I am fucked.
I know I brought this upon myself. I didn't follow Bryan's financial advice to the letter like I should have.
I'm under so much stress and have so many obligations, but at this point I'm just making excuses. I fucked up, big time. I know Bryan and my mom have so much faith in me, but I don't know why, I fail them every time. As I get older year by year I become more and more of a failure. I am going to turn 30 next month, I am unmarried, broke, a college drop out, about to be jobless, and if I don't find another job right away, homeless.
My friend Jayden thinks I have a problem with gaming to much, she doesn't understand that I game because real life is awful and a struggle. When I game I can be powerful, beautiful, smart, and fight back. In real life I am an emotionally dysfunctional failure and it hard to fight that. it wears on me, and days like this, it finally catches up to me and I lose my job, my home, and my life tumbles into chaos. I just want stability but I'm not willing to make the sacrifices it takes to attain that until it is far too late. :(