[fic] Closing In- Reita x Aoi - Oneshot
Title : Closing In
Chapter : 1/1
Author : kei_kyuuketsuki
Fandom : the GazettE
Pairings : Aoi/Reita
Theme Song : Imogen Heap - Closing In
Rating : R
Genre : song fic, drama, AU, mid-angst…
Warning : twisted storyline
Disclaimer : I don’t own that sexy-assed guitarist yet. No. I don’t own both of them. I don’t own the whole beautiful boys in that company! Yes, you know which company. The song belongs to Imogen Heap (it’s a freakily beautiful song) with some edited image here and there. I only own the story line and the twisted idea in my scattered brain. Oh, sorry for the long blabbering.
Summary : Nothing happened. No voice heard. I know. I won’t be mad just because of this. I lowered my hand and grab the door handle. Slowly, I turned it, and pulled your door open.
Comments : the 1st time I heard this song is in an internet cafe. I heard the vocalist’s voice and thought, it gives me the chill. I search about the song through the internet and after I found the lyrics, it chills me even worse. Like I told you before, to me, it’s freakily beautiful song. This is how I describe it into a fanfic with my OTP muses. Enjoy.
Closing In
It’s just... I couldn’t hold myself any longer. I needed to see you. That’s why I’m here now, in this train, with its furious velocity. But still, I felt this train move way too slow.
Back then, why won’t you give me a chance to proof everything? I still remember everything. I believe you do too, right?
I look through this train’s thick window glass, it’s raining out there. Do you still remember? That time, we caught by the rain. We can’t find a place to shield our trembling body from the evil rain. We even didn’t have anything to protect our weak body from the depth cold rain. We didn’t have any jacket, and I only wear my thin white shirt. Then, you used your hand, both of your hands, to cover my head. I looked at you who looked away. It’s raining. It’s cold. But your face blushed. I could still see it under the dull light of the street side lamp. Suddenly, I felt warm. So… warm.
Didn’t you ever think about it, about how that little act could give a massive effect to me? How that tiny thing for other people could be so sweet to me? It was magic, isn’t it? You’d spellbound me to you. From that very moment, all I could think was you. It was always about you. It was all you.
No. It IS all you. You’ll never be my past. ‘Cause you will always be my present for my future.
But did you ever realize it even just once? I’ve gave you so many signs. I’ve tried to make you understand. I’ve always hoped that you’ll be able to understand how I felt for you. It was this close. Just an inches until you get what I mean, but you walked away. I didn’t know where you go. I just hoped that you find your way… back to me.
All of those memories keep coming back to me. Frame by frame, it was all like a roll of a film that keeps repeating over and over again inside my head, my heart, my soul. It drives me crazy. Every time I saw you in my dreams, I couldn’t find you when I awake. You’re not there. You went away, away from me.
It still drives me crazy until now. I just can’t sit still, I’d like to stand and scream at somebody, anybody to help me to increase this train speed. But, of course, I couldn’t. I shouldn’t. I mustn’t do that, must I?
Lost is the thing that can make me hard to breathe. Oh, please. Please just tell me I’m lame. It’s the cheesiest thing I’ve ever thought in my whole life. But it never was cheesy when it comes to you. Yes, you, the air that I breath. The world seem so mean to me without you by my side.
Here, in this train where I put all my effort to meet you, I’m alone. I’m all alone. I know no one. It will never be a problem for me if you here to, beside me, holding my hand and tell me that everything will be alright. But, no. You’re not here. You ran, ran away from me.
All I can do now is just thinking about you. That way, I can kill the time that keep you away from me.
Then it stopped. The train stopped. I raised my head and saw the name of the city you lived in after you left me. The tears that I’ve hold this whole year start to brim. I closed my eyes. I hold my breath for a while. This is not the right time. I don’t want to cry now. I still can’t find you.
I’d stand; I walked out from the train, I stepped out from the station, call a cab, and told the driver the address that I’ve known by heart, the address that I believe as a place where I can find you.
Again, the speed of this four-wheeled-thing is driving me crazy. All I could see is a dissolving city. Again, when I closed my eyes, all I could see is you. There, in my mind, I could imagine the thread of your love in the headlights, guiding me to you.
It was all like a dream. The distance between us now has closing in. When the taxi stopped; my heart is racing against my chest.
Will this be it? Will this be the time I’ll be able to see you again?
I paid the driver, get off from the taxi, ran to the white building in front of me. I don’t really care about the elevator anymore. I couldn’t stand it once in the train. I couldn’t stand the taxi’s speed also. I don’t want to keep my pace with the elevator and I don’t want to add my impatient even more, so I chose the stairs and run to you.
I stopped just to saw your name on a small board beside the door that will be the last thing that separates me from you. I raised my hand - I don’t think I should do this but I did it anyway - I knocked your door.
Nothing happened. No voice heard. I know. I won’t be mad just because of this. I lowered my hand and grab the door handle. Slowly, I turned it, and pulled your door open.
There you are. You sit on your white bed, holding both of your knee in front of your chest tightly, head hung low, and body shakes.
What are you crying for?
I drew myself close to you. I sit on the bed, beside you. I know you know I’m here. I know, for you still won’t raise your head to face me. It’s just like you already knew it was me. Well, yes. You knew it. That’s why you hide yourself from me. Right, Reita?
“Will your arms be open?” I asked. I moved my hand, touch his, and hold it gently.
“Why are you here?”
I can’t hold my tears any longer. “I’m here to see you, Stupid.”
“I’ve left you.”
“So?” I asked. My tears betrayed me and start to make a trail on my face. “Is it even important now?”
“I don’t know, Aoi. I-“
I pulled your hand. I surprised you, but I don’t care. I longed for you so much; I couldn’t hold myself any longer. I just have to kiss you. Now try and stop me.
Well, you didn’t. You didn’t do anything. You just stay still, you didn’t fight back either. You leaned to it. You leaned to my kiss, to the kiss that I never be good at. You always mocked me. You said I’m stupid, not experienced, and all. But look whose stupid now?
This is what I want. In the whole world, you are the only thing that I ever wanted. It always was your touch, your hug, your kiss, all of you. I’ve told you before, haven’t I?
“Please be mine…” I said, after I broke the kiss, but didn’t give any gap farther than breathe between our lips. “Please be there… beside me… always…”
“I… can’t…”
Damn it. Why did you always have to turn me down like this? Should I hug you and hold you for the rest of my life to make you mine?
I hugged him.
“Let me go.”
“I won’t.”
“Let me go!”
“I said I won’t!”
He sighed. “Why you’re so stubborn?”
“No, it wasn’t me who stubborn.”
“Yes, you.”
“No, I’m not.”
“Then tell me who.”
“You.”
“I’m not stubborn...” He paused. “I’m sick. I’m sick to death.”
“Do you think I even care about it?”
He broke free from my embrace. He held both of my shoulder tightly. “I’m going to leave you forever! Can’t you get it!? Which part of my words that you don’t get!? I’m dying, Aoi! I’m dying!”
I looked right through his eyes. He cried. I cried too. I bit my lower lip. I know this. I know that there is no hope for our relationship. No future at all. I know that if our relationship does exist, it won’t last long. I know that already.
“Then tell me… tell me what do you like?”
“What are you talking about?”
“I’ll do anything. I’ll do anything to fulfill your wish, every single of it. Just like what you ever did to me. You’ve done everything to make me happy. Now, it’s my turn to do the same.”
“You don’t have too. I’m going to-“
“Please.” I held his hand. “If you reject me now, I’m coming back tomorrow. If you reject me again tomorrow, I’ll keep coming back to see you. I don’t care if you’re going to hate me for that. I just want to be with you.”
Then silence. You didn’t say anything after that. Just like that moment, when you hold me and whisper that goodbye words of yours. I asked why, why were you leaving, what made you want to leave me alone, but you said nothing at all. You made me asked and asked all over again, but you stay quiet. You just hold me, but you didn’t hold me for any longer. You left.
After that I know that there IS something that will take you away from me.
“What are you afraid of? Which do you afraid more, the death, or losing me?”
His head bent down. “You won’t love a person like me.”
“Oh, don’t you believe enough?! I’m here!” I cried even worse. “Well I’ll cover both of us. You can, Reita. You can. Leave that to me.” I held him in my embrace. “I’ll accompany you…”
“You’re going to witness my death, Aoi.”
“I won’t mind.”
=fin=
____++++****++++****++++____
A/N: critics and comments are love!
Chapter : 1/1
Author : kei_kyuuketsuki
Fandom : the GazettE
Pairings : Aoi/Reita
Theme Song : Imogen Heap - Closing In
Rating : R
Genre : song fic, drama, AU, mid-angst…
Warning : twisted storyline
Disclaimer : I don’t own that sexy-assed guitarist yet. No. I don’t own both of them. I don’t own the whole beautiful boys in that company! Yes, you know which company. The song belongs to Imogen Heap (it’s a freakily beautiful song) with some edited image here and there. I only own the story line and the twisted idea in my scattered brain. Oh, sorry for the long blabbering.
Summary : Nothing happened. No voice heard. I know. I won’t be mad just because of this. I lowered my hand and grab the door handle. Slowly, I turned it, and pulled your door open.
Comments : the 1st time I heard this song is in an internet cafe. I heard the vocalist’s voice and thought, it gives me the chill. I search about the song through the internet and after I found the lyrics, it chills me even worse. Like I told you before, to me, it’s freakily beautiful song. This is how I describe it into a fanfic with my OTP muses. Enjoy.
Closing In
It’s just... I couldn’t hold myself any longer. I needed to see you. That’s why I’m here now, in this train, with its furious velocity. But still, I felt this train move way too slow.
Back then, why won’t you give me a chance to proof everything? I still remember everything. I believe you do too, right?
I look through this train’s thick window glass, it’s raining out there. Do you still remember? That time, we caught by the rain. We can’t find a place to shield our trembling body from the evil rain. We even didn’t have anything to protect our weak body from the depth cold rain. We didn’t have any jacket, and I only wear my thin white shirt. Then, you used your hand, both of your hands, to cover my head. I looked at you who looked away. It’s raining. It’s cold. But your face blushed. I could still see it under the dull light of the street side lamp. Suddenly, I felt warm. So… warm.
Didn’t you ever think about it, about how that little act could give a massive effect to me? How that tiny thing for other people could be so sweet to me? It was magic, isn’t it? You’d spellbound me to you. From that very moment, all I could think was you. It was always about you. It was all you.
No. It IS all you. You’ll never be my past. ‘Cause you will always be my present for my future.
But did you ever realize it even just once? I’ve gave you so many signs. I’ve tried to make you understand. I’ve always hoped that you’ll be able to understand how I felt for you. It was this close. Just an inches until you get what I mean, but you walked away. I didn’t know where you go. I just hoped that you find your way… back to me.
All of those memories keep coming back to me. Frame by frame, it was all like a roll of a film that keeps repeating over and over again inside my head, my heart, my soul. It drives me crazy. Every time I saw you in my dreams, I couldn’t find you when I awake. You’re not there. You went away, away from me.
It still drives me crazy until now. I just can’t sit still, I’d like to stand and scream at somebody, anybody to help me to increase this train speed. But, of course, I couldn’t. I shouldn’t. I mustn’t do that, must I?
Lost is the thing that can make me hard to breathe. Oh, please. Please just tell me I’m lame. It’s the cheesiest thing I’ve ever thought in my whole life. But it never was cheesy when it comes to you. Yes, you, the air that I breath. The world seem so mean to me without you by my side.
Here, in this train where I put all my effort to meet you, I’m alone. I’m all alone. I know no one. It will never be a problem for me if you here to, beside me, holding my hand and tell me that everything will be alright. But, no. You’re not here. You ran, ran away from me.
All I can do now is just thinking about you. That way, I can kill the time that keep you away from me.
Then it stopped. The train stopped. I raised my head and saw the name of the city you lived in after you left me. The tears that I’ve hold this whole year start to brim. I closed my eyes. I hold my breath for a while. This is not the right time. I don’t want to cry now. I still can’t find you.
I’d stand; I walked out from the train, I stepped out from the station, call a cab, and told the driver the address that I’ve known by heart, the address that I believe as a place where I can find you.
Again, the speed of this four-wheeled-thing is driving me crazy. All I could see is a dissolving city. Again, when I closed my eyes, all I could see is you. There, in my mind, I could imagine the thread of your love in the headlights, guiding me to you.
It was all like a dream. The distance between us now has closing in. When the taxi stopped; my heart is racing against my chest.
Will this be it? Will this be the time I’ll be able to see you again?
I paid the driver, get off from the taxi, ran to the white building in front of me. I don’t really care about the elevator anymore. I couldn’t stand it once in the train. I couldn’t stand the taxi’s speed also. I don’t want to keep my pace with the elevator and I don’t want to add my impatient even more, so I chose the stairs and run to you.
I stopped just to saw your name on a small board beside the door that will be the last thing that separates me from you. I raised my hand - I don’t think I should do this but I did it anyway - I knocked your door.
Nothing happened. No voice heard. I know. I won’t be mad just because of this. I lowered my hand and grab the door handle. Slowly, I turned it, and pulled your door open.
There you are. You sit on your white bed, holding both of your knee in front of your chest tightly, head hung low, and body shakes.
What are you crying for?
I drew myself close to you. I sit on the bed, beside you. I know you know I’m here. I know, for you still won’t raise your head to face me. It’s just like you already knew it was me. Well, yes. You knew it. That’s why you hide yourself from me. Right, Reita?
“Will your arms be open?” I asked. I moved my hand, touch his, and hold it gently.
“Why are you here?”
I can’t hold my tears any longer. “I’m here to see you, Stupid.”
“I’ve left you.”
“So?” I asked. My tears betrayed me and start to make a trail on my face. “Is it even important now?”
“I don’t know, Aoi. I-“
I pulled your hand. I surprised you, but I don’t care. I longed for you so much; I couldn’t hold myself any longer. I just have to kiss you. Now try and stop me.
Well, you didn’t. You didn’t do anything. You just stay still, you didn’t fight back either. You leaned to it. You leaned to my kiss, to the kiss that I never be good at. You always mocked me. You said I’m stupid, not experienced, and all. But look whose stupid now?
This is what I want. In the whole world, you are the only thing that I ever wanted. It always was your touch, your hug, your kiss, all of you. I’ve told you before, haven’t I?
“Please be mine…” I said, after I broke the kiss, but didn’t give any gap farther than breathe between our lips. “Please be there… beside me… always…”
“I… can’t…”
Damn it. Why did you always have to turn me down like this? Should I hug you and hold you for the rest of my life to make you mine?
I hugged him.
“Let me go.”
“I won’t.”
“Let me go!”
“I said I won’t!”
He sighed. “Why you’re so stubborn?”
“No, it wasn’t me who stubborn.”
“Yes, you.”
“No, I’m not.”
“Then tell me who.”
“You.”
“I’m not stubborn...” He paused. “I’m sick. I’m sick to death.”
“Do you think I even care about it?”
He broke free from my embrace. He held both of my shoulder tightly. “I’m going to leave you forever! Can’t you get it!? Which part of my words that you don’t get!? I’m dying, Aoi! I’m dying!”
I looked right through his eyes. He cried. I cried too. I bit my lower lip. I know this. I know that there is no hope for our relationship. No future at all. I know that if our relationship does exist, it won’t last long. I know that already.
“Then tell me… tell me what do you like?”
“What are you talking about?”
“I’ll do anything. I’ll do anything to fulfill your wish, every single of it. Just like what you ever did to me. You’ve done everything to make me happy. Now, it’s my turn to do the same.”
“You don’t have too. I’m going to-“
“Please.” I held his hand. “If you reject me now, I’m coming back tomorrow. If you reject me again tomorrow, I’ll keep coming back to see you. I don’t care if you’re going to hate me for that. I just want to be with you.”
Then silence. You didn’t say anything after that. Just like that moment, when you hold me and whisper that goodbye words of yours. I asked why, why were you leaving, what made you want to leave me alone, but you said nothing at all. You made me asked and asked all over again, but you stay quiet. You just hold me, but you didn’t hold me for any longer. You left.
After that I know that there IS something that will take you away from me.
“What are you afraid of? Which do you afraid more, the death, or losing me?”
His head bent down. “You won’t love a person like me.”
“Oh, don’t you believe enough?! I’m here!” I cried even worse. “Well I’ll cover both of us. You can, Reita. You can. Leave that to me.” I held him in my embrace. “I’ll accompany you…”
“You’re going to witness my death, Aoi.”
“I won’t mind.”
=fin=
____++++****++++****++++____
A/N: critics and comments are love!