loose spaces [2/2]
title: loose spaces
pairings: baekhyun/chanyeol, (super uber squint squint ninja!kaisoo cause i say so)
rating: pg
length: 5800~
an: for dee, i hope ur happy. i agonized over this cause i cant write for shit
an i: loosely based on the manga Kamisama Ga Yadoru by Chidori Peko
an ii: happy bday chanyeol and for my precious baekyeol lemme be flower gull at ur wedding y'hear?
an iii: also thanks to airplanewishes and lababoreine ♥ for beta-ing and i offer all this suckiness to all the baekyeol shippers, bless us ;;;;
The air outside's getting colder and Baekhyun huddles miserably into his cardigan. He can never get warm enough. He pouts and wraps his arms around his stomach, overall dismayed with the weather. Thank heavens the winter break is near so he can just stay at home under piles and piles of blankets while reading a good book and not suffer this cold.
He's standing by the lockers when he sneezes---a sure sign that the temperature has dropped even more in the time it took to get his things from inside his locker. He's about to sneeze again when he feels a warm body behind his back and long arms gather him inside a large coat before closing around him. "Boo," he almost feels the word against his ear, Chanyeol's lips are so close. "You're as cold as a popsicle that nobody wants."
Despite the added warmth of the shared coat, Baekhyun shivers in the taller boy's embrace and his heart thumps wildly. Chanyeol, like this, reminds Baekhyun of that twelve-year-old boy. "A popsicle... That nobody wants?"
"Yep. A popsicle that nobody wants is left alone to spend its days inside the freezer, freezing its ass off until its expiration date."
Baekhyun wants to lean his head back against Chanyeol but that's giving himself away too much so he settles for a shaky laugh. "The point of that being?"
"The point being your nose is red and your ears look like they're about to fall off yet you’re still wearing that thin cardigan and where is the beanie I gave you?" Chanyeol says in a reproachful tone.
"You two lovebirds go get a room!" A laughing voice fills the (thankfully) almost deserted corridors. Baekhyun and Chanyeol both turn to see Jongdae, a fellow senior, walking towards them, looking as chirpy as usual.
Baekhyun feels Chanyeol tense against him so he steps away from the taller boy. "We're just best friends." He looks up at Chanyeol's face and he finds himself looking there for something. A denial perhaps? Something that will tell Baekhyun that Chanyeol thinks they're more than that but the boy's expression was inscrutable.
Jongdae snorts. "Well, everybody calls you that.” Then his face lights up and Baekhyun knows he’s about to say something silly, like he always does. “If you wanna dispel those rumors, come with us to our group date then!"
Baekhyun quickly refuses. "I've got no time for group dates."
"Come on. You won't fall from the top of the class list because of one night out. Live a little." Jongdae hooks an arm around Baekhyun's shoulders.
Baekhyun unhooks the arm and shakes his head. "Still no."
Jongdae moves to do the same to Chanyeol but seeing as the other's way taller he settles clamping on to Chanyeol's arm instead. "Baekhyun's no fun. Chanyeol-ssi, you will go, right?"
Baekhyun releases an easy breath as he sees his friend shake his head. "I'm sorry, Jongdae. I'll pass."
"What? But we'll meet lots of new people from the other high school and there's food." Seeing as Baekhyun and Chanyeol doesn't look like they'll change their minds, Jongdae holds up his hands in defeat. "Fine, you two. Boring people are boring." And the skinny boy walks away with a harrumph.
"You could have joined them. You rarely go out," Baekhyun tells Chanyeol as they walk to the exit. "All you do is work after school." He can't believe he’s saying those things. Does he really want Chanyeol to date somebody else?
"I don't always work. And I already have plans for today. Important plans." Chanyeol turns to him with a smile. "See you," he says when they reached the doors. Chanyeol steps out but immediately steps back in as big, drops of rain suddenly fell from the sky. "Oh, great."
Baekhyun sighs. Next to the cold he doesn't like wet. "You don't have an umbrella."
"How did you know?" his friend asked, surprised.
"We're... best friends, aren't we?" Best friends, yes. He's looking at his feet so Baekhyun misses the intensity of Chanyeol's gaze as he said that.
"Yeah." The taller boy replies.
Baekhyun holds out his umbrella. "Here." They tips of their fingers brush as Chanyeol reaches for it.
"How about you?"
"I have a spare one. I'll just go back to my locker to get it." He starts to turn back the way they came from.
"Oh, okay. I'll go with you."
He looks over his shoulder to his friend. His best friend. "It's alright. You have important plans, don't you?"
"Yes, but--"
"See you, later then," Baekhyun says before he walked hurriedly away.
He foregoes the subway and instead walks home. Baekhyun is convinced he's out of his mind marching out in the rain and cold which he absolutely hates (he can't say this enough) with only his spare umbrella to protect him. But Baekhyun decides he hates it more that he has all these confusing emotions filling his chest, making it hard for him to breathe. He needs air and it doesn't matter if it's cold. He just needs to breathe.
Five years is a long time to hold on to a promise. Baekhyun believes things are better now that he gets to spend time with Chanyeol unlike before when he couldn't even see his face. It's just sometimes, he still wants for Chanyeol to remember.
The moment he's thinking that he should not expect more is the same time he wonders if Chanyeol will drop by tonight to return his umbrella. Then he recalls that Chanyeol has an “important plan” he has to go to. More important than returning an old umbrella, more important than Baekhyun waiting for him.
"I'm sorry for being late."
He stops in his tracks when he hears the voice. He looks up and sees a boy holding out a blue cloud-patterned umbrella while smiling fondly at a short, round-eyed boy who came out of a bookstore. He knows that umbrella. He knows that deep voice.
"It's okay, hyung. Let's go?" the shorter boy says. The two huddle close under the umbrella as they disappear down the street. So that was the important plan.
He can hear something shatter and Baekhyun knows that sound, too. It's the miserable sound of his heart breaking. After that, he doesn't remember how he reached home, how he ended up on his bed, lying on his side and hugging his knees to his chest.
His phone vibrates but he doesn't answer the call.
"Didn't grandma teach us that God lives in every word? That we should never lie?" He closes his eyes and remembers his grandmother on her rocking chair, Chanyeol's eager expression and his best friend's hand on top of his.
Baekhyun's phone vibrates again.
Because I really love you, Baekhyun!
"Chanyeol... you liar." He whispers brokenly.
His eyes are heavy and he suffers from lack of sleep. Baekhyun leans his head against his locker, glad that the day was done. He's also stressed from always looking behind his back, dreading when Chanyeol will seek him out. Baekhyun doesn't know what to say if his best friend does.
"You're sad again, hyung." Jongin stands beside him and leans his side against the lockers. "It's that Chanyeol guy, is it?
"I'm not sad." He sighs and straightens from his position. "And he's older than you so Chanyeol-hyung."
"Not if he causes you to be like this." Jongin says indignantly.
"He doesn't cause me to be anything, Jongin. I'm just tired."
"Don't tell me that, hyung. Let me help you like how you helped me with---" Jongin pauses as he looks at something behind Baekhyun. Baekhyun's turns and steels himself as Chanyeol reaches them.
"Hey, Baek. I went to your house last night but I guess you weren't home yet? I was going to return this." He pulls the blue cloud-patterned umbrella from his bag and hands it out to Baekhyun. "Where were you last night though? I waited outside for some time and it was already pretty late."
"You can have that,” he says and he sees Chanyeol's face register surprise. "And I wasn't home last night because I went on the group date."
"But I thought--"
"Hyung, went with me." Jongin butts in. "We went together."
Baekhyun appreciates what Jongin was doing but he doesn't want to drag the boy in whatever this is. "Jongin, I'll go home alone today." He gives him a pleading look and although the younger boy looked annoyed, he nods at Baekhyun and frowns at Chanyeol before leaving.
"You said you wouldn't go."
There's accusation in Chanyeol's eyes and Baekhyun insides cry in indignation. How can you even look at me like that? As if I did something wrong. "I changed my mind," he tells him before walking away. He hears his best friend calling him but he doesn't stop. Baekhyun thinks he already got free but he feels a hand hold onto his arm.
"Baek, wait up."
"Chanyeol, it's none of your business who I chose to go out with or when I choose to go out."
"I know but... why are you running away from me?"
"Because... instead of feeling this way, all confused and hurt all the time, I'm better off without that umbrella and any memories of you."
"You don't mean that." Chanyeol sounds hurt but Baekhyun is too upset to care.
"I do! I'm tired of always remembering while you... you forget everything. I'm tired of telling myself to hold on when there's really nothing there. I don't want to do it anymore. I don't want to be with you. I don't want to know you--"
"No." Chanyeol grabs his hand and starts pulling him away.
"Let go."
"No." Chanyeol doesn't let go, even after they've reached Baekhyun's house. He's still holding onto Baekhyun when they go inside. He pulls Baekhyun towards his grandma's room and only releases him to slide the door open. "Didn't your grandmother teach us, God lives in every word so we must never tell lies? Why are you lying about your feelings?" Chanyeol enters the room and pulls Baekhyun in.
"I'm not... lying."
"You mean, you really don't want to know me anymore? You don’t want to be with me?" Baekhyun turns his face away because it hurts to see Chanyeol so crestfallen. Chanyeol touches Baekhyun's chin and turns his face so they were looking at each other's eyes. "I actually went to your house last night to give this." Baekhyun's eyes widened in astonishment when he sees the ring on Chanyeol's palm. "Please accept this. Accept me."
He stands there frozen and Chanyeol continues. "I'm sorry it took so long to give this to you. I wanted to give it as soon as I returned but my first part-time job wasn't paying too well so I had to get another one. Hey, hey why are you crying?"
Baekhyun's tears are falling in earnest now and he covers his face with his palms. "I thought you didn't want to spend time with me. When I saw you last night with another guy, I started to believe that you already forgot your promise."
"What other guy? Kyungsoo?" Baekhyun nods. "Baek, he's just a good friend. We met because his father's the owner of the gift shop I work for. He just got stuck at the bookstore last night because of the rain and his father asked me to fetch him."
Chanyeol moves closer and places his hand on Baekhyun's shoulder. "Besides he's already seeing someone. Not that I would want him if he wasn't. But how did you see us? I thought you went on the group date with your Jongin."
"He's not my Jongin and I didn't go join the date. It was just... I was just upset and Jongin wanted to help me so he said that."
Chanyeol smiled. "Good then, because I seriously wanted to--"
"To what? You can't even harm a fly." Baekhyun looks up at Chanyeol's face and he can't believe he was worried for nothing. "But still, if you loved me, why did you always reject my invitations? You were so cold. You now I hate the cold."
Chanyeol moves closer still and wraps his arms tight around Baekhyun. "Because,” He leans down and he tips Baekhyun's face up to his. "If I were to be left alone with you, I couldn't have stopped myself from doing this." He places his lips on top of Baekhyun's and the smaller boy gasps at the contact making it easier for Chanyeol to deepen the kiss. He nibbles on Baekhyun's lower lip before sliding their lips together, again and again. He ends the kiss and Chanyeol's voice is hoarse when he speaks. "And I'll probably end up doing more. So I wanted to give the ring first and propose properly before... anything else." He touches his forehead against Baekhyun's. "But you haven't accepted yet."
"I love you. I've always been waiting. I never stopped waiting even though I thought you already forgot." He slips his hand through Chanyeol's hair until he reaches the back of the taller boy's head where he lets his slim fingers tangle in the softness. "I always thought that it was the twelve-year old Chanyeol I fell in love with. But now I know I don’t love him as much as the Chanyeol I have with me now. So yes, okay?"
Chanyeol grins and catches Baekhyun's hand. He kisses his palm first before pulling it lower to slip the ring on his finger. "And of course it's loose." Baekhyun falls in love even more when he sees Chanyeol's shoulder slump and his lips pout. "I'll have it adjusted or replaced when I get the money, I promise."
Another promise, but Baekhyun thinks he won’t mind even if Chanyeol forgets that one. "It's alright, Chanyeol." He pulls the one he loves back into his arms. "As long as you fill in the loose spaces in my life that would be enough."
pairings: baekhyun/chanyeol, (super uber squint squint ninja!kaisoo cause i say so)
rating: pg
length: 5800~
an: for dee, i hope ur happy. i agonized over this cause i cant write for shit
an i: loosely based on the manga Kamisama Ga Yadoru by Chidori Peko
an ii: happy bday chanyeol and for my precious baekyeol lemme be flower gull at ur wedding y'hear?
an iii: also thanks to airplanewishes and lababoreine ♥ for beta-ing and i offer all this suckiness to all the baekyeol shippers, bless us ;;;;
The air outside's getting colder and Baekhyun huddles miserably into his cardigan. He can never get warm enough. He pouts and wraps his arms around his stomach, overall dismayed with the weather. Thank heavens the winter break is near so he can just stay at home under piles and piles of blankets while reading a good book and not suffer this cold.
He's standing by the lockers when he sneezes---a sure sign that the temperature has dropped even more in the time it took to get his things from inside his locker. He's about to sneeze again when he feels a warm body behind his back and long arms gather him inside a large coat before closing around him. "Boo," he almost feels the word against his ear, Chanyeol's lips are so close. "You're as cold as a popsicle that nobody wants."
Despite the added warmth of the shared coat, Baekhyun shivers in the taller boy's embrace and his heart thumps wildly. Chanyeol, like this, reminds Baekhyun of that twelve-year-old boy. "A popsicle... That nobody wants?"
"Yep. A popsicle that nobody wants is left alone to spend its days inside the freezer, freezing its ass off until its expiration date."
Baekhyun wants to lean his head back against Chanyeol but that's giving himself away too much so he settles for a shaky laugh. "The point of that being?"
"The point being your nose is red and your ears look like they're about to fall off yet you’re still wearing that thin cardigan and where is the beanie I gave you?" Chanyeol says in a reproachful tone.
"You two lovebirds go get a room!" A laughing voice fills the (thankfully) almost deserted corridors. Baekhyun and Chanyeol both turn to see Jongdae, a fellow senior, walking towards them, looking as chirpy as usual.
Baekhyun feels Chanyeol tense against him so he steps away from the taller boy. "We're just best friends." He looks up at Chanyeol's face and he finds himself looking there for something. A denial perhaps? Something that will tell Baekhyun that Chanyeol thinks they're more than that but the boy's expression was inscrutable.
Jongdae snorts. "Well, everybody calls you that.” Then his face lights up and Baekhyun knows he’s about to say something silly, like he always does. “If you wanna dispel those rumors, come with us to our group date then!"
Baekhyun quickly refuses. "I've got no time for group dates."
"Come on. You won't fall from the top of the class list because of one night out. Live a little." Jongdae hooks an arm around Baekhyun's shoulders.
Baekhyun unhooks the arm and shakes his head. "Still no."
Jongdae moves to do the same to Chanyeol but seeing as the other's way taller he settles clamping on to Chanyeol's arm instead. "Baekhyun's no fun. Chanyeol-ssi, you will go, right?"
Baekhyun releases an easy breath as he sees his friend shake his head. "I'm sorry, Jongdae. I'll pass."
"What? But we'll meet lots of new people from the other high school and there's food." Seeing as Baekhyun and Chanyeol doesn't look like they'll change their minds, Jongdae holds up his hands in defeat. "Fine, you two. Boring people are boring." And the skinny boy walks away with a harrumph.
"You could have joined them. You rarely go out," Baekhyun tells Chanyeol as they walk to the exit. "All you do is work after school." He can't believe he’s saying those things. Does he really want Chanyeol to date somebody else?
"I don't always work. And I already have plans for today. Important plans." Chanyeol turns to him with a smile. "See you," he says when they reached the doors. Chanyeol steps out but immediately steps back in as big, drops of rain suddenly fell from the sky. "Oh, great."
Baekhyun sighs. Next to the cold he doesn't like wet. "You don't have an umbrella."
"How did you know?" his friend asked, surprised.
"We're... best friends, aren't we?" Best friends, yes. He's looking at his feet so Baekhyun misses the intensity of Chanyeol's gaze as he said that.
"Yeah." The taller boy replies.
Baekhyun holds out his umbrella. "Here." They tips of their fingers brush as Chanyeol reaches for it.
"How about you?"
"I have a spare one. I'll just go back to my locker to get it." He starts to turn back the way they came from.
"Oh, okay. I'll go with you."
He looks over his shoulder to his friend. His best friend. "It's alright. You have important plans, don't you?"
"Yes, but--"
"See you, later then," Baekhyun says before he walked hurriedly away.
He foregoes the subway and instead walks home. Baekhyun is convinced he's out of his mind marching out in the rain and cold which he absolutely hates (he can't say this enough) with only his spare umbrella to protect him. But Baekhyun decides he hates it more that he has all these confusing emotions filling his chest, making it hard for him to breathe. He needs air and it doesn't matter if it's cold. He just needs to breathe.
Five years is a long time to hold on to a promise. Baekhyun believes things are better now that he gets to spend time with Chanyeol unlike before when he couldn't even see his face. It's just sometimes, he still wants for Chanyeol to remember.
The moment he's thinking that he should not expect more is the same time he wonders if Chanyeol will drop by tonight to return his umbrella. Then he recalls that Chanyeol has an “important plan” he has to go to. More important than returning an old umbrella, more important than Baekhyun waiting for him.
"I'm sorry for being late."
He stops in his tracks when he hears the voice. He looks up and sees a boy holding out a blue cloud-patterned umbrella while smiling fondly at a short, round-eyed boy who came out of a bookstore. He knows that umbrella. He knows that deep voice.
"It's okay, hyung. Let's go?" the shorter boy says. The two huddle close under the umbrella as they disappear down the street. So that was the important plan.
He can hear something shatter and Baekhyun knows that sound, too. It's the miserable sound of his heart breaking. After that, he doesn't remember how he reached home, how he ended up on his bed, lying on his side and hugging his knees to his chest.
His phone vibrates but he doesn't answer the call.
"Didn't grandma teach us that God lives in every word? That we should never lie?" He closes his eyes and remembers his grandmother on her rocking chair, Chanyeol's eager expression and his best friend's hand on top of his.
Baekhyun's phone vibrates again.
Because I really love you, Baekhyun!
"Chanyeol... you liar." He whispers brokenly.
His eyes are heavy and he suffers from lack of sleep. Baekhyun leans his head against his locker, glad that the day was done. He's also stressed from always looking behind his back, dreading when Chanyeol will seek him out. Baekhyun doesn't know what to say if his best friend does.
"You're sad again, hyung." Jongin stands beside him and leans his side against the lockers. "It's that Chanyeol guy, is it?
"I'm not sad." He sighs and straightens from his position. "And he's older than you so Chanyeol-hyung."
"Not if he causes you to be like this." Jongin says indignantly.
"He doesn't cause me to be anything, Jongin. I'm just tired."
"Don't tell me that, hyung. Let me help you like how you helped me with---" Jongin pauses as he looks at something behind Baekhyun. Baekhyun's turns and steels himself as Chanyeol reaches them.
"Hey, Baek. I went to your house last night but I guess you weren't home yet? I was going to return this." He pulls the blue cloud-patterned umbrella from his bag and hands it out to Baekhyun. "Where were you last night though? I waited outside for some time and it was already pretty late."
"You can have that,” he says and he sees Chanyeol's face register surprise. "And I wasn't home last night because I went on the group date."
"But I thought--"
"Hyung, went with me." Jongin butts in. "We went together."
Baekhyun appreciates what Jongin was doing but he doesn't want to drag the boy in whatever this is. "Jongin, I'll go home alone today." He gives him a pleading look and although the younger boy looked annoyed, he nods at Baekhyun and frowns at Chanyeol before leaving.
"You said you wouldn't go."
There's accusation in Chanyeol's eyes and Baekhyun insides cry in indignation. How can you even look at me like that? As if I did something wrong. "I changed my mind," he tells him before walking away. He hears his best friend calling him but he doesn't stop. Baekhyun thinks he already got free but he feels a hand hold onto his arm.
"Baek, wait up."
"Chanyeol, it's none of your business who I chose to go out with or when I choose to go out."
"I know but... why are you running away from me?"
"Because... instead of feeling this way, all confused and hurt all the time, I'm better off without that umbrella and any memories of you."
"You don't mean that." Chanyeol sounds hurt but Baekhyun is too upset to care.
"I do! I'm tired of always remembering while you... you forget everything. I'm tired of telling myself to hold on when there's really nothing there. I don't want to do it anymore. I don't want to be with you. I don't want to know you--"
"No." Chanyeol grabs his hand and starts pulling him away.
"Let go."
"No." Chanyeol doesn't let go, even after they've reached Baekhyun's house. He's still holding onto Baekhyun when they go inside. He pulls Baekhyun towards his grandma's room and only releases him to slide the door open. "Didn't your grandmother teach us, God lives in every word so we must never tell lies? Why are you lying about your feelings?" Chanyeol enters the room and pulls Baekhyun in.
"I'm not... lying."
"You mean, you really don't want to know me anymore? You don’t want to be with me?" Baekhyun turns his face away because it hurts to see Chanyeol so crestfallen. Chanyeol touches Baekhyun's chin and turns his face so they were looking at each other's eyes. "I actually went to your house last night to give this." Baekhyun's eyes widened in astonishment when he sees the ring on Chanyeol's palm. "Please accept this. Accept me."
He stands there frozen and Chanyeol continues. "I'm sorry it took so long to give this to you. I wanted to give it as soon as I returned but my first part-time job wasn't paying too well so I had to get another one. Hey, hey why are you crying?"
Baekhyun's tears are falling in earnest now and he covers his face with his palms. "I thought you didn't want to spend time with me. When I saw you last night with another guy, I started to believe that you already forgot your promise."
"What other guy? Kyungsoo?" Baekhyun nods. "Baek, he's just a good friend. We met because his father's the owner of the gift shop I work for. He just got stuck at the bookstore last night because of the rain and his father asked me to fetch him."
Chanyeol moves closer and places his hand on Baekhyun's shoulder. "Besides he's already seeing someone. Not that I would want him if he wasn't. But how did you see us? I thought you went on the group date with your Jongin."
"He's not my Jongin and I didn't go join the date. It was just... I was just upset and Jongin wanted to help me so he said that."
Chanyeol smiled. "Good then, because I seriously wanted to--"
"To what? You can't even harm a fly." Baekhyun looks up at Chanyeol's face and he can't believe he was worried for nothing. "But still, if you loved me, why did you always reject my invitations? You were so cold. You now I hate the cold."
Chanyeol moves closer still and wraps his arms tight around Baekhyun. "Because,” He leans down and he tips Baekhyun's face up to his. "If I were to be left alone with you, I couldn't have stopped myself from doing this." He places his lips on top of Baekhyun's and the smaller boy gasps at the contact making it easier for Chanyeol to deepen the kiss. He nibbles on Baekhyun's lower lip before sliding their lips together, again and again. He ends the kiss and Chanyeol's voice is hoarse when he speaks. "And I'll probably end up doing more. So I wanted to give the ring first and propose properly before... anything else." He touches his forehead against Baekhyun's. "But you haven't accepted yet."
"I love you. I've always been waiting. I never stopped waiting even though I thought you already forgot." He slips his hand through Chanyeol's hair until he reaches the back of the taller boy's head where he lets his slim fingers tangle in the softness. "I always thought that it was the twelve-year old Chanyeol I fell in love with. But now I know I don’t love him as much as the Chanyeol I have with me now. So yes, okay?"
Chanyeol grins and catches Baekhyun's hand. He kisses his palm first before pulling it lower to slip the ring on his finger. "And of course it's loose." Baekhyun falls in love even more when he sees Chanyeol's shoulder slump and his lips pout. "I'll have it adjusted or replaced when I get the money, I promise."
Another promise, but Baekhyun thinks he won’t mind even if Chanyeol forgets that one. "It's alright, Chanyeol." He pulls the one he loves back into his arms. "As long as you fill in the loose spaces in my life that would be enough."