So...tired...
Work. That's what I do. I also move, the most hated of tasks, more so even than work. Now that's not moving in the interpretive dance kind of movement, or the bowel type of movement, but of the er, relocating of the living quarters variety.
Did I tell you I showed up to to work drunk a few weeks ago? I was still smashed from the night/3 hours before. It's not a boast so much as one of those, "I can't believe what a total fuck up I am" sorts of memories. Supposedly I'm entitled to such a loser proposition, as I am mostly responsible most most of the time.
Anyway, speaking of entitlement, I've been boarding in Marin County with my aunt as of late, since our latest jobsite is directly across the street, and we are apparently in the habit of beginning our work day at 6:30am. A.M! But I again digress. There are a lot of entitled motherfuckers here. The coffeeshop/restaraunt conversations don't get worse than noon on a weekday in San Anselmo. All the fuckers with no "real" jobs are out there verbally pissing themselves:
"Oh but then I found the perfect color at Pottery Barn."
"Where else did you go while you were in Florida?"
"Well we went to (innocuous designer stores which can be easily found locally) and there were these table linens that I thought would be great for Ethan and Cathy, you know they love mauve, and can you believe the napkins were only $39 each, but oh, did you hear Cathy is getting another collagen botox ass-eye lift, she's overdoing it if you ask me, but Ethan seems happy"
"I know, I draw the line at one laser butt peel per month."
"Ha ha ha!!"
Well ok, so I made it a little more interesting for the sake of entertainment. These are the same fuckers who go first at the intersection regardless of who was first. The same fuckers that give you that "Eww, I smell shit" look as you walk by. These fuckers drive Lexus SUV's and Grande Escalades and Stupid Fucking Hummers and Land Rovers with brush guards on the lights, these very fuckers have kids raised by au pairs and their fucker children leave their bikes and scooters and skateboards all over town and their fucker parents just keep giving them new ones. Over and over again. True story by the way.
I saw a woman who to a casual observer appeared to be a woman of about 23 years of age. "Great" body, tall, long flowing locks, tight jeans, trendy sunglasses, etc., etc. But, upon closer inspection, I realized something was wrong. Oh! Of course! It's the eye-lift, botox, chin tuck, and collagen lips! Good fucking lord pickbutt and the dangling weenies! She was really like, 49 years old!
Must be nice to be tapped into the fountain of youth. But be careful which one you drink from, because you might end up looking terminally vapid, surprised, and totally weird all at once. It's the water.
Did I tell you I showed up to to work drunk a few weeks ago? I was still smashed from the night/3 hours before. It's not a boast so much as one of those, "I can't believe what a total fuck up I am" sorts of memories. Supposedly I'm entitled to such a loser proposition, as I am mostly responsible most most of the time.
Anyway, speaking of entitlement, I've been boarding in Marin County with my aunt as of late, since our latest jobsite is directly across the street, and we are apparently in the habit of beginning our work day at 6:30am. A.M! But I again digress. There are a lot of entitled motherfuckers here. The coffeeshop/restaraunt conversations don't get worse than noon on a weekday in San Anselmo. All the fuckers with no "real" jobs are out there verbally pissing themselves:
"Oh but then I found the perfect color at Pottery Barn."
"Where else did you go while you were in Florida?"
"Well we went to (innocuous designer stores which can be easily found locally) and there were these table linens that I thought would be great for Ethan and Cathy, you know they love mauve, and can you believe the napkins were only $39 each, but oh, did you hear Cathy is getting another collagen botox ass-eye lift, she's overdoing it if you ask me, but Ethan seems happy"
"I know, I draw the line at one laser butt peel per month."
"Ha ha ha!!"
Well ok, so I made it a little more interesting for the sake of entertainment. These are the same fuckers who go first at the intersection regardless of who was first. The same fuckers that give you that "Eww, I smell shit" look as you walk by. These fuckers drive Lexus SUV's and Grande Escalades and Stupid Fucking Hummers and Land Rovers with brush guards on the lights, these very fuckers have kids raised by au pairs and their fucker children leave their bikes and scooters and skateboards all over town and their fucker parents just keep giving them new ones. Over and over again. True story by the way.
I saw a woman who to a casual observer appeared to be a woman of about 23 years of age. "Great" body, tall, long flowing locks, tight jeans, trendy sunglasses, etc., etc. But, upon closer inspection, I realized something was wrong. Oh! Of course! It's the eye-lift, botox, chin tuck, and collagen lips! Good fucking lord pickbutt and the dangling weenies! She was really like, 49 years old!
Must be nice to be tapped into the fountain of youth. But be careful which one you drink from, because you might end up looking terminally vapid, surprised, and totally weird all at once. It's the water.