Two JE Birthday Fics
Happy belated birthday, goldengutgirl and beckerbell!
The presents are quite late, but I still hope you both enjoy them! ^-^
For goldengutgirl
Title: VS Jun
Fandom/Pairing: Arashi / (hinted at) AibaJun
Rating: G
Wordcount: 871
Summary: VS Arashi gets a new game. Aiba is excited. (He invented it, after all!) Jun isn't really. (Aiba invented it, after all.)
VS Jun
“I absolutely refuse”, Jun said flatly.
“But it's an awesome idea!” Aiba argued.
“It does sound funny”, Sho agreed with him.
Jun looked down at the plans for the new VS Arashi game. As far as Aiba and the show's conceptual director had explained it to them, the game's goal was to get from one end of a seven metre long and twenty centimetre wide walkway to the other blindfolded without falling down. Along the way, three obstacles had to be passed and five turns had to be managed with the help of a supporter, who was allowed to give the blindfolded person directions. He looked up at Sho again and raised his eyebrows in disbelieve.
“You think it sounds funny.”
Nino put his arm around Ohno possessively.
“I think it's funny, too”, he decided. Ohno nodded.
Jun directed his stare at the two of them. They were sitting next to each other, bodies as closely pressed together as possible on two chairs, giving him identical grins.
He rolled his eyes. “Of course you would.”
“That's because it is an awesome idea! I came up with it!” Aiba told him.
Jun crossed his arms. “I still refuse.”
Aiba's lower lip started to tremble a bit. His eyes went very round and wide. “MatsuJun, please?” he begged.
Jun just stared back at him, waiting. It didn't take long. After about ten seconds, Aiba broke down, giggling. “Ah, damn”, he said, rubbing his eyes furiously, “not blinking makes my eyes hurt.”
Jun grinned in satisfaction. Then he noticed that Nino, Ohno and even Sho had adopted Aiba's methods and were also watching him with big, round eyes, their bottom lips sticking out,while the conceptual director was trying to suppress his smile.
Jun buried his head in his hands.
“Our next game”, the announcer boomed over the studio's audio system, “is 'Balance Beam'.”
As the announced spoke on, explaining the game to the guests and the audience, Jun rather desperately tried to make eye-contact with Ohno while ignoring the way Aiba was trying to make eye-contact with him. Both wasn't easy, as Aiba kept on moving between him and Leader, while Leader himself was having a staring competition - or perhaps a telepathic conversation, it was hard to tell with those two - with Nino.
The way Sho kept on turning to the side to hide his grin, in what he undoubtedly believed to be a show of tact, didn't help.
“Then, who from Arashi wants to start?” the announcer asked.
“Me! Me!” Aiba shouted, his hand in the air, and bounced up and down like a crazy rubber ball.
Nino wrestled his arm back down. “Stupid!” he admonished. “It has to be someone with a great sense of balance!”
“Lea...” Jun began, just to be interrupted by Ohno, who calmly said: “Let Jun-kun do it. He's got a great sense of balance.”
“I...” Jun tried again.
“MatsuJun will be great!” Sho agreed.
“Matsumoto-kun will go on the Balance Beam. And who will be the supporter?” the announcer asked.
Again Aiba jumped up and down like a demented rubber ball. “Me! Oh please, me!” he shouted.
Nino chuckled friendly and patted his arm.
“Alright, Aiba-chan will be supporter then!”
Jun sent him his best death-glare. Nino didn't even twitch. Resigning to his fate, Jun took his place at the beginning of the beam and let the staff blindfold him.
Walking on the beam was as difficult as he had anticipated. Even when he managed to ignore the rather unhelpful “good luck” calls from their guests and Sho, or the way Nino's cackling and Ohno's high-pitched giggling were still completely audible even over all the background noise, he still had to deal with his own special brand of 'support'.
“Step ahead, step ahead, step a- no, wait, now left! Left!”
Carefully, Jun stretched out his left foot and tried to feel for the beam with it. He hit nothing but air.
“No, le-”
“I am trying to go left!” Jun screamed back.
“No, no, I meant right! Right!” Aiba called.
“He meant the other left!” Nino shouted in the background.
“Shut up!” Jun shouted back. Somewhere behind him, Ohno started to whimper between giggles.
Despite giggling himself, Aiba still ploughed on bravely.
“Straight ahead, straight ahead, straight ahead, now left - real left”, he added, when Jun immediately started to feel for the beam with his right foot. “OK, now again straight ahead, we're nearly there at the obstacle! Str... whoa!” This was in response to Jun suddenly starting to wobble, as the lack of visual confirmation of his position left him without a sense of direction for a moment. He managed to regain his balance in moments, but his knees were still shaking slightly as he straightened up again, even though he knew that the beam was no higher than thirty centimetres and the ground beneath it padded.
“Be careful, MatsuJun!” Aiba's voice sounded much louder suddenly. “There's the wall! You have to climb over the wall!”
He managed to pass the first obstacle and judged himself to be about half way to the second one, when suddenly, the lack of visual confirmation hit him again. Desperately, he put out his feet into the direction he hoped the beam was and felt nothing beneath it again, before a sense of vertigo overtook him and he felt himself falling backwards - right into something soft and warm that wrapped strong arms around him and puffed moist air against his ear as it spoke.
“Whoa, that looked really scary, MatsuJun! You looked like a falling turtle just then!”
Jun shuddered, both at the shock and at the warm breath and gentle voice in his ear.
The arms around him tightened, and so he did the only thing he could do.
He turned around and kneed Aiba in the groin.
For Becky/beckerbell
Title: Of Turtles And Hares
Fandom/Pairing: Arashi/News/KAT-TUN - Ryo/Jin/MatsuJun kind-of-friendship; very briefly implied Ohno/Aiba/Jun pairing - and maybe Akame, if you want to interpret it that way... ^^"
Rating: PG-13 for insinuations
Wordcount: 5,760
Summary: When Kame is where he isn't supposed to be - at least according to Jin - there isn't really anything to do but to follow him, right? Well, at least according to Jin.
AN: In his Shounen Club Premium appearance, MatsuJun revealed that he enjoys going out to drink with Ryo and Jin, because the three of them are "very alike". Coupled with some other - unrelated - stuff I happened to run across, this made for a fic idea that wouldn't leave me alone anymore.
Oh, and I hope no one gets confused with "Jun" and "Jin"! I thought about writing "MatsuJun" the whole time, but thought it didn't quite fit, so I ended up using "Jun"...
Anyway, I hope you like it, Becky, and don't mind the hinted-at pairings in here... ^-^
Of Turtles And Hares
„...And then the photographer said that maybe Kame would look better in that outfit and did the shot with him!“ Jin finished his tale dramatically and downed the rest of his beer.
His two companions failed to look impressed.
„Well, Kame-chan is prettier than you“, Ryo said thoughtfully.
Jin pouted.
„It's not a matter of prettiness“, MatsuJun scoffed. „It's a matter of who's less slutty.“ He leaned back with his arms over the backrest. „Or at least a matter of who's better at acting less slutty.“
Jin's pout got more pronounced. „I'm not slutty! And my band isn't either!“
„Don't worry, Jin“, Ryo threw in, „Jun's obsession with your sluttiness stems from his uncontrollable envy.“
„Anyway“, Jin continued, ignoring Ryo, „it's not as if your band was any better!“
Jun looked honestly confused for a moment. „Arashi hasn't got any slutty members.“
Jin flung his arms up. „Have you seen Ninomiya when we have performances together?!“
„He's got a point there“, Ryo said. Jun reached over without looking at him and hit him on the head.
“Nino's not slutty”, he said. “He's marking his territory.”
“Since when is Yamapi his territory?” Ryo asked. “Or Kame-chan, for that matter?”
For the first time that evening, Jun looked faintly uncomfortable. “Aiba-chan says it's a thing of showing dominant behaviour in front of your mate by pretending to make advances on others.” The other two just stared at him. Jun sighed impatiently. “I try not to think about it too much, OK? Figuring out Nino's reasoning makes my head hurt.”
Ryo raised his beer in a toast. “That, at least, is something I can't blame you for.”
Jin, about to take a swig of his beer, stopped in mid-motion and stared at him with wide eyes. “KAME!”
“No, Ryo. Stop trying to be funny”, Ryo answered with a scowl.
“It's not his fault. It's his genes that made him stupid”, Jun said.
“No, I mean Kame! Here! In the bar!” Jin said in an urgent whisper and stared over Ryo's shoulder at the dancefloor and the bar. “No! Don't turn around! He'll see you!”
Ryo and Jun stopped and stared at him.
“And that would be bad why?”
“Because he's supposed to be working! He told me himself that he wouldn't get out before midnight today!”
“Huh.” Ryo carefully turned around and scanned the crowd in the bar until he had spotted the person he looked for. “You're right, it's Kame. And he's letting that older guy next to him buy him a drink.”
“He's what?!” Jin yelped and jumped up from his seat.
Ryo threw a napkin at him. “Sit down if you don't want him to see you! And so what if he just got away a little early and decided to head out for a little fun on his own. What's the problem with that?”
“He's not - he doesn't - he told me he wouldn't be able to make it this evening!” Jin whined.
“You mean you're just pissed off because he refused you?” Ryo asked.
“No, that's...”
“That's not Kame”, Jun said. The other two stared at him.
“Yes it is”, Ryo said after a short pause.
“It's not.”
Ryo stared at the glass of red wine in Jun's hand. “Just how strong is that stuff?” he asked. Jun hit him again with complete precision.
“It's Kame!” Jin insisted. “Who else would it be?”
For the second time, Jun appeared to be slightly uncomfortable. “Someone else ...who's not Kame”, he muttered.
Ryo stared at him and then at the guy sitting at the bar. “It's Kame”, he gave his verdict.
Jin nodded vigorously. “I told you guys! He lied to me! I'm going to call him and tell him that I can see him.” He opened his cell phone.
“I knew there was a reason I'm spending the evening with you guys instead of watching dorama”, Ryo said, as he watched Jin in fascination. Jun merely rolled his eyes. Jin kept his eyes fixed on Kame, who was laughing with the man who had just bought him yet another drink, and his expression got darker with every ring that was left unanswered. Finally, he snapped his phone shut again. “He's not answering!”
Ryo shrugged. “So he's decided to spend his evening with a friend and doesn't want to be disturb the whole time. Big deal.”
“Or maybe he doesn't answer his phone because he's still at work”, Jun said.
Ryo stared at him. “Since we're already talking about paranoid theories, how about he got abducted by aliens and that's just a clone?”
“Don't be ridiculous”, Jun said automatically. “We aren't the right demography for alien abductions.”
Ryo raised both of his eyebrows. Jun blushed.
“Or that might have only been what Sho said after Aiba read a book about alien abductions and he and Captain were afraid to enter the tour-bus because a lot of abductions happen on the road”, he muttered.
Ryo laughed.
Jin stood up abruptly. “I'm going down there! I won't let him ignore me!” He stomped off.
Ryo and Jun shared a look, before they got up and followed him at a leisurely pace.
“Next episode: Jin confronts Kame!” Ryo held his hands up as if he was framing the words.
“Can Kame's love for the mysterious stranger survive in the light of Jin's wrath?” Jun added.
“His brother Jin's wrath.” Ryo corrected.
Jun stopped to kick him. “You can't make Jin his brother. That's weird.”
Ryo attempted to imitate Jin's pout. “It's not weird. It's a dorama!”
Jun kicked him again. “It's weird.”
Ryo's pout deepened. “Does it count as domestic violence when you hurt your friends?”
Jun smirked widely and went ahead. “Do you want to complain?” he threw over his shoulder.
Ryo grumbled very quietly and followed him.
They caught up with a frustrated looking Jin in front of the bar.
“He's not here anymore!” he greeted them. “He must have seen me coming and run away!”
“Did you do something stupid?” Jun asked.
“I didn't do anything! I didn't even shout his name!”
“If you were on your way to him, didn't you see him get up and go away?” Ryo asked.
“He just disappeared! I only looked away for a few seconds and he was gone!”
“Huh.” Ryo thought for a moment. “Were you looking down a girl's top?”
“No!”
“This would be so much more convincing if you weren't blushing.”
“Can we go back to our table now?” Jun interrupted impatiently.
“Or we could follow him.” Ryo had spotted the young man at the bar's door. “He's just going outside.”
Jin followed his gaze and gasped. “Quick! Before he can escape again!” He shouldered his way through the crowd.
Jun raised an eyebrow at Ryo. “Any special reason why you're actually encouraging him?”
Ryo shrugged. “It's the next episode in the Jin-is-a-high-strung-idiot-dorama. It should be fun. Besides, weren't you complaining about the quality of the wine here, or something?”
“There is no quality to their wine. That's why I sent them to the next liquor store to buy me another one”, Jun countered, but sauntered in the direction of the exit.
Jin was standing at the street, in front of a waiting taxi. Another one was just pulling away.
“Quick! He just got into a taxi, we have to follow him!” He pushed both of them into the car's backseat and slid into the front.
Ryo grinned. “How much do you wanna bet that we'll actually manage to chase them?”
Jun snorted. “How much do you want to bet that the driver will have the greatest urge to kill us after Jin's screeched into his ears multiple times in his excitement?”
Ryo mimicked his snort. “I don't bet on certainties.”
Jin turned around in his seat. “What are you guys talking about?” he demanded to know.
Ryo waved his hand at him majestically. “Turn around and watch the road, idiot”, he ordered. Jin pouted, but did what he was told. A minute later he screeched as the taxi in front of them was suddenly blocked from their view by another car.
Ryo and Jun snickered.
Their snickering had turned into full-blown, if muffled, laughter by the time the taxi pulled over in front of a tiny mall that seemed to cater to fashionable but not too expensive tastes, and the driver was repeatedly rubbing his ear.
Jin ignored them all. His eyes were glued to the two figures who were just walking up the steps to the mall.
“Look!” he hissed. His hands were gripping the car's handhold tightly.
Ryo stared too. The taller man had very visibly put his hand on the small of Kame's back, just above the rise of his buttocks. Judging by the way Kame moved closer to him, he didn't mind at all. The man held open the door to the mall for Kame and they disappeared inside.
Jin threw open his door and stumbled outside.
“Quick! We have to follow them!” he whispered loudly. Ryo nodded and got out as well. Ducked low, they scurried over to one side of the mall doors. Pressed against the wall, they carefully tiptoed forward until they could peer around the edge of the doorway and into the mall.
“Can you see them?” Jin whispered. Ryo shook his head and moved a bit to get a better view.
Jun, who had paid the taxi-driver in the meantime, walked up the steps, ignoring all of Jin's attempts to wave him to the side.
Instead he pushed open the door to the mall and only stopped long enough to smirk at them, before he walked inside.
Jin stared after him.
“Sometimes, I really don't like him”, he said.
Ryo hit him. “This is for making me do stupid things with you and give MatsuJun reason to mock me”, he declared and stalked after Jun.
Jin pouted after him.
“Sometimes, I don't like you either.”
There was no sign of Kame and the other man in the mall. Jun had stopped moving and was looking at the display of a jeweller's store with interest.
Jin gripped the sleeve of his jacket and leaned on him. His eyes kept sweeping through the mall's corridor.
“Did you see them?” he asked. “Where are they?”
Jun looked down briefly at the hand on his clothes, but didn't comment on it. He inclined his head towards a clothing store with signs that loudly proclaimed the sale of genuine Versace articles at about a third of the price found anywhere else.
Jin craned his neck, trying to get a glimpse of the store's interior without being suspicious. “In there?” he whispered. “He's in there? With that guy? What does he want in there?”
Ryo snorted.
“At least we know one thing about his sugar-daddy now. He hasn't got any taste. And he's got no idea how to treat a lover properly. Who the hell would try to give Kame fake Versace?” His face lit up as another thought occurred to him. “Or maybe they don't even want to buy anything! Maybe they just want to use one of the store's dressing rooms!”
Jun sniggered.
Jin sighed impatiently and crossed his arms, glaring at them.
“You're so perverted!”
He sighed again as this response only made both of them double over with laughter.
“I'm going over there and confront him”, he stated seriously. “I have no idea what he's doing with that guy, but I know Kame and that's not like him.”
With that, he stalked off towards the store, obviously done with hiding.
Ryo straightened, wiping tears of laughter from his eyes.
“Man, that guy is actually serious.” He shook his head and mock-scowled. “And now we have to go and make sure that he doesn't embarrass Kame too badly... oi, Jun!”
Jun, already inside the jeweller's store, turned around and raised his eyebrow questioningly.
Ryo rolled his eyes, undisturbed by that display of dramatics.
“Don't you think we should go and rescue Kame from Jin's wrath, or something?”
Jun stared at him for a moment. “The ring section here is quite good”, he said then.
Ryo stayed where he was, torn between following Jin and possibly rescuing either him or Kame, and following Jun. In the end, he decided that they'd undoubtedly hear it if Jin made a scene and hastily followed Jun inside the jeweller's store.
Jun was taking a closer look at the rings he had already seen in the display. Ryo joined him.
“They're pretty”, he said. “You don't think we'll need to keep an eye on Jin?”
Jun was quiet for a moment. “No”, he said then. “Despite his frequent stupidity, Jin is quite able to fend for himself. He did so for six months, after all.”
Ryo hummed. “You're right, of course. But still - you seem pretty stand-offish this evening.”
Jun glanced at him before he focussed on the rings again. “That's because that guy's not Kame. And even if he were, I don't think it's nice to stalk your friends.”
“You're pretty sure that this guy isn't Kame”, Ryo wondered. “Any special reasons for that?”
Jun shrugged. “Just a feeling”, he said distractedly and picked up a ring. The store-keeper was watching him intently. Without a second thought, Ryo moved between him and Jun, blocking his stare with his back.
“A feeling”, Ryo didn't sound too convinced. “Anyway. Don't tell me you wouldn't stalk them if you saw one of your bandmates leave with an older guy like that.”
Jun put the ring down and picked up another one. “That's different. At least half of them are about as trusting as little kittens and have just as much common sense. Kame is smart and he knows how to take care of himself.”
“Still... Jin's intentions are good. I like that ring.”
Jun frowned and put the ring down. “Not really my style after all.” He took up a third ring. “If you think Jin's in the right, why aren't you over there helping him?”
Ryo snorted. “You really think I'd show him that I think he's right?”
Jun smiled.
“Oi! Guys!” a loud hiss drew their attention to the front of the store. Jin was standing there, his face slightly panicked. “Don't stand here shopping! You need to help me! I can't confront Kame and that other guy on my own!”
“Poor Jin”, Ryo said sweetly. “Are you afraid that Kame-chan will be angry at you for interrupting his time with his sugar-daddy? Or are you afraid you're going to interrupt them in the middle of something ...important?”
Jun sniggered.
Jin looked at them angrily. “I wish Yamapi was here with me”, he said, sulking. “He wouldn't make fun of me!”
Ryo leaned one arm on Jun's shoulder. Jun shrugged him off. Ryo crossed his arms instead.
“That's because Yamapi is a nice guy. A genuinely nice guy. Whereas Matsumoto and I are the cool, but mean, good-looking ones.”
Jin sulked some more. “I'm a cool and mean good-looking guy as well. And I don't abandon my friends like that.”
“You keep telling yourself that”, Ryo said pityingly.
Jin huffed, crossed his arms and looked to the side, not answering.
“Can't help it if you're one of the good guys, Akanishi”, Jun said, his voice sounding just a little bit gentler than before. “It's not too bad. They can probably be useful too, I guess.”
Ryo bumped his shoulder into Jin's as he moved past.
“Come on. Didn't you want to ask Kame why he's playing the little boy-toy for some older guy?”
Jin huffed again and pushed past Ryo to enter the fake-Versace store first.
“They were near the dressing-room”, he said and made his way to the back of the store, ignoring the smiling and bowing store-owner. Then he stopped, puzzled, staring at the open door to the dressing-room.
“The dressing-rooms are empty”, Ryo stated the obvious.
Jin looked around frantically.
“But they must be here somewhere! They were just a few moments ago, when I went to get you guys!”
“They probably got outside while we were talking”, Ryo said. He thought for another moment, before he offered: “We could take a quick look outside, see if we can find them.”
Jin ran out of the store. Ryo followed him, bravely ignoring Jun's displeased look. As he joined him, Jin looked at him a bit helplessly. “They're not here.”
Ryo thought quickly.
“We'll look for them. Jun, you go out to the front, maybe they took a taxi again”, he ordered. “Call us, if you see them. Jin, you and I'll search the mall.”
Jun stayed long enough to hit Ryo on the head, but after that he took off to the front of the mall. Jin followed Ryo, who was already halfway down the corridor in the other direction. At the end of it, one corridor went to the right, another to the left. Both were seemingly empty, but Jin noticed movement at the end of the corridor to the left. Pulling Ryo near the wall, he carefully peeked around the corner.
“It's them!” he whispered excitedly, as Kame and the other guy left a small store. “Let's go!”
“We have to tell Jun first”, Ryo reminded him and got his mobile phone out of his pocket. The call only took a few seconds and Jun didn't take more than half a minute to reach them, but Jin was still bouncing on his feet impatiently the whole time.
“You took so long!” he complained. “Let's go!”
Quickly, he scurried down the corridor towards the place he had last seen Kame. At the end of the corridor, he rounded another corner and discovered that there was another door leading outside - and that Kame and Other Guy were just stepping outside.
Jin back-pedalled into the corridor immediately and hid behind the corner. Carefully, he peeked around it.
“Didn't you want to confront Kame?” Ryo said, right behind him.
Jin jumped.
“Don't scare me like that!” he hissed. “And be quiet!”
Ryo snorted. “I thought you wanted them to notice you.”
“Yes, in the shop, but now they're going outside again and I want to know where they're going!” Jin whispered loudly. “What if Kame gets in trouble with that guy? Or what if he causes a scandal?!”
Ryo just snorted at that idea.
“They're outside and walking left. Come on!” Jin ordered. He scurried forward again. Ryo followed him, because unlike Jun, who now ambled towards them slowly as if he had all the time in the world, he was slowly starting to enjoy this hunt.
The chase this time wasn't too difficult. Kame and Other Guy didn't seem to be in any hurry and since they were walking down some back alleys, there were enough dark corners for Jin to hide in when he thought that Kame and Other Guy were about to look back.
After a few minutes, Kame and Other Guy reached a nondescript office-building and moved inside.
Jin and Ryo pressed themselves to the wall next to the building's entrance again.
“I knew it! He's gone to that guy's apartment with him!” Jin hissed. “We have to follow them!”
“If it's the guy's apartment, there's no way we'll be able to get inside”, Ryo answered. “And how would you find out his apartment number? Anyway, this is an office building. Look at all the signs! There are not apartments here.”
“But where are they, then? And what are they doing?”
Ryo pursed his lips.
“Hell if I know! I have no idea why Kamenashi would want to visit an office at eleven in the evening. And here I always thought Ueda was the most mental of KAT-TUN!”
“He's not mental. I mean, they're not mental.” Jin looked confused for a moment. “Anyway, that doesn't help me find out where they've gone to!”
Ryo narrowed his eyes and looked over at Jun, who was studying the signs on the wall next to the building's door with great interest. Or, rather, he was studying one particular sign with great interest. Ryo went over to him.
“ACCEED” he read the English words on the small, serious-looking sign. “Movie Company”, he continued with the smaller kanji beneath the title. “A movie company? Hey Jin, is Kame thinking about doing another movie?”
Jin looked at him, puzzled. “I don't know. He doesn't talk with us about that often, at least not before he's very sure that he's going to do it. He only says something early on when it might interfere with concerts.”
Ryo scanned the other signs on the wall. From the corner of his eyes he noticed that Jun hadn't looked away from the ACCEED sign at all - and that he was grinning widely again. Ryo shivered a bit and concentrated on the signs.
“There's nothing here that would be interesting to someone like Kame”, he announced. “Only that weird movie company that I have never heard of.”
Jin huffed. “I've had enough! I'm calling him!” He whipped out his mobile phone.
To Ryo's mild surprise, this time it only took five rings until Kame answered.
“KAME! I SAW YOU!” Jin shouted into the phone. There was a pause. Then: “I just saw you go into that building!”
Ryo sniggered, as on the other end, Kame's rather puzzled voice was just barely audible to them.
“The office building!” Jin screeched. “You just went inside!” A pause. “YOU ARE NOT WORKING ANYMORE, I JUST SAW YOU! DON'T LIE! KAME...” He stopped shouting into the phone and looked up at Ryo and Jun. “He hung up on me.”
Jun laughed and leaned against the wall next to the signs.
Jin pressed his lips together.
“I'm going to go in there”, he said determinedly. “Are you guys with me?”
Ryo shrugged. “Sure. Sounds interesting.”
Jun leaned against the wall. “I'll wait out here.”
Ryo grinned at him. “Scared?”
Jun merely smiled haughtily. “Not interested in making a fool out of myself.”
Jin pouted, but Ryo, who was just taking a closer look through the glass door, grinned. “Fine. We need someone distracting that watchman over there while we go in anyway.”
Jun fixed him with a hard stare. “Didn't I just say that I wouldn't make a fool out of myself?”
Ryo turned back to him, pushed his bottom lip out and concentrated. After a few moments, Jun started to look puzzled.
“What are you trying to do there? You're going cross-eyed.”
Ryo opened his eyes a bit wider and pushed is bottom lip out further. “I'm trying to imitate Ohno-kun”, he said and nudged Jin. “Hey, try to imitate Aiba-kun.”
Jin nodded and started to bounce up and down with what looked like the attempt at a manic grin.
Jun stared at the two of them for a long moment. Finally, he crossed his arms and shook his head.
“You're idiots and I fail to see what my bandmates have to do with this.”
“Don't be stupid. Everyone knows you're putty in Ohno and Aiba-kun's hands”, Ryo answered. “Even Jin knows it.”
Jin looked a bit offended at the comment, but nodded anyway.
Jun stared at them some more. Finally he sighed and moved to the door. “Come on, then. Before my pity leads me to end your sorry existences.”
Ryo and Jin grinned at each other and moved to the door, watching Jun cross the hall towards the watchman's desk. They waited until he had suitably engaged the watchman in a complicated conversation about a rare-pasta shop that supposedly was located in the area, and silently slipped in the door and towards the staircase.
“Fourth floor”, Ryo whispered after studying the board on the wall.
Jin nodded and started to tiptoe up the stairs. His eyes were shining in excitement and a few times on the way up, Ryo had to glare at him, because he couldn't suppress his giggles.
“You'd make the worst detective ever in real life”, he commented.
“I wouldn't! I have been a great detective in the past!” Jin hissed back.
“TV shows don't count! And shut up, we're here.” Carefully, Ryo opened the door to the fourth floor's corridor and peeked inside. There were several door leading from the corridor, all of them labelled with the “ACCEED” sign they'd seen downstairs, most of them clearly leading to brightly lit rooms and one, as Jin pointed out to Ryo with a lot of hissing and nudging, even standing open a bit.
Surreptitiously looking around, they stole across the corridor and crouched down near the open door. Carefully they both held their breaths and listened. There was the noise of people talking to each other and apparently lugging around large and heavy equipment, but it was all muffled, as if it was happening beyond yet other doors.
After sharing a short glance with Jin, Ryo pushed the door a bit further open and peered inside. There was yet another empty corridor, from which a few other closed doors led somewhere. There were also handwritten signs on all of the doors.
Jin next to him sighed. “He's not here. Ow!”
Ryo removed his elbow from Jin's ribs and pointed at one of the doors. “How about that one?”
Jin stared at the door, puzzled.
“The sign”, Ryo said. “It says 'Dressing Room', in case you can't read the kanji.”
“I can read the kanji!” Jin protested. “I just don't know what you mean!”
“Dressing Room”, Ryo said very slowly. “Dressing Room equals someone getting dressed and getting his make-up done. These rooms seem to belong to a film studio. And who needs make-up and clothes in a movie?”
“The actors... So you mean Kame might be inside?” Jin's voice got excited again.
Ryo rolled his eyes at him. “Took you long enough.”
Jin ignored his words and scrambled through the door. “Come on, then! Let's surprise Kame!”
Ryo threw another glance in all directions and followed him.
Standing in front of the dressing room door, Jin hesitated a bit. Then he turned the handle and stepped inside the room boldly.
“Kame!” he said loudly.
Kame, who was sitting in front of a make-up mirror half-naked, turned around.
Jin gasped loudly and stumbled a few steps back. Ryo felt his eyes go wide.
“You're not Kame!” Jin shouted.
The young man in front of them looked embarrassed.
Ryo still couldn't do anything but stare at him. This guy looked so much like Kame that he could have easily passed as him on the street. Of course, people who knew Kame well could see the differences between the two quite well as soon as they were near him - but the guy looked enough like Kame that even Ryo and Jin had been fooled the whole time they had seen him from a distance.
Ryo blinked. “...Are you related to Kamenashi Kazuya?”
The young man fidgeted uncomfortably. “N-not exactly”, he murmured.
“You look like him! You look like Kame!” Jin's mouth and eyes were still wide open.
“Yeah, I...” the young man broke off abruptly, as suddenly, the door was opened widely again and a round man came inside.
“Teppei, have you...” he stopped and regarded the two intruders. Jin sought shelter behind Ryo immediately and braced himself for a harsh lecture; but the man only smiled at them beatifically.
“Teppei!” he shouted exuberantly. “Where did you get those guys?! They're perfect!” He regarded Ryo and Jin rather hungrily. “They look just like the real deal!”
“Uhm... boss...” Teppei murmured, “they...”
His boss ignored him. “Well, boys. What are you waiting for? You've got your contracts already, haven't you? Strange, our secretary must have been blind to forget to mention how much you remember those idols! NEWS' Nishikod Ryo and KAT-TUN's Akanishi Jin, right? Perfect, perfect! Especially you”, he pointed at Jin, “now we already have two KAT-TUN members!” His eyes sparkled and he rubbed his hands gleefully. “You're going to bring us so much money, boys! You'll be perfect! Perfect, perfect!”
Jin and Ryo just stared at him in confusion. The man stopped rubbing his hands.
“Well, what are you boys waiting for?” he demanded. “Get naked already! You're not shy, aren't you? Let me tell you, shyness and embarrassment will get you nowhere in this business! I know, this is always hard for newcomers, but believe me, the prouder you stand to what you do, the more people will respect you for it! And just think of all the lonely men and women you make happy with your movies! That's a reason to stand upright, don't you think?” He beamed at them.
Jin and Ryo were still just staring at him, mouths open.
Teppei cleared his throat.
“Uhm... boss...” he said quietly, “when you came in, they had just discovered that I'm not Kamenashi-kun.”
His boss looked over at him and paled a bit. “You mean those guys aren't our newbies?”
Teppei shook his head.
The guy covered his face with his hand. “So you guys aren't here to shoot 'Snow In Him' with us?”
“...I don't think so...?” Jin managed to squeak out.
Ryo looked between Teppei and the boss. “Are you filming ...adult videos?” he asked very quietly.
Teppei blushed and looked at the floor. His boss put a hand on his shoulder and stood very straight.
“The very finest gay porn you could find on this side of the globe”, he said with quiet pride. “And Teppei-kun is one of our best actors.”
Ryo nodded. “We have to go now”, he said and ran out of the room.
“Wha- wait, Ryo!” Jin squeaked and looked helplessly at Teppei and his boss. He performed a half-bow. “Nice to meet you, we have to go now, bye...” he babbled and stumbled out of the room behind Ryo, who was already halfway down the stairs.
“Ryo, wait for me!” he called after him, but Ryo ignored him. Running as fast as he could, Jin managed to catch up with him at the bottom of the stairs.
“Ryo, what...” Ryo stormed onwards, ignoring both Jin and the startled look from the watchman. Throwing the door to the street open with a bang, he stopped right in front of Jun, who was leaning against the wall and had already started laughing.
Ryo pointed at him. “You knew where we were going!” he shouted. “You knew what 'ACCEED' was!”
Jun only laughed harder.
Ryo stomped his feet. “How could you?! You just let us run into it! Unprepared! Do you know that they thought we were porn actors as well?!”
By now, Jun looked as if he was having trouble breathing.
“You! I can't believe you did this!” Ryo shouted.
Jun looked as if all of his dreams had just come true. Ryo looked like he wanted to murder him.
Jin looked between the two of them.
“But how did MatsuJun know that this was a porn company? Have you seen any of their movies?”
Jun abruptly stopped laughing and after a confused pause, an evil grin spread over Ryo's face.
“Yes, Jun-kun”, he said sweetly. “Please tell us how you got to know this company. And while you're at it: Please tell me how you immediately knew that the young man wasn't Kame, when you had only seen him once from a distance? You must know Kame very well to discern that when even Jin and I didn't pick up on it. Or maybe it is Teppei-kun you know well...?”
Jun crossed his arms and sighed. Ryo raised his eyebrow expectantly.
“Aiba once brought a video to work where a guy who he said looked just like Kame was acting in. And no”, Jun added and glared at Ryo, “I don't know where Aiba-kun got a gay porn video with an idol look-alike.”
“And of course you then decided to watch it for scientific reasons, right?” Ryo asked, amused.
Jun glared harder. “Nino wanted blackmail material.”
Jin blinked. “You mean you guys watched it all together? That's actually a bit disturbing.”
“So you watched it once? Teppei-kun must have been very impressive - that you could still recognize him at that distance all at once”, Ryo needled.
Jun bared his teeth at him. Ryo just grinned evilly.
“You know”, Jin interrupted them, “I'd quite like to see that one myself.” He blushed when both Ryo and Jun stared at him incredulously. “I mean, it must be pretty interesting, seeing a guy who looks like one of your friends have sex with other guys, right?” he defended himself.
“You mean disturbing”, Ryo corrected him. “I think I'd rather kill myself than watch porn with Yamapi. Or”, he shuddered, “with Yoko.”
“Yamapi-porn would be hot!” Jin loyally defended his best friend. Ryo made a gagging noise.
Jin looked at Jun again. “Anyway”, he said. “Do you think I could ask Aiba-chan for that video?”
“He doesn't have it anymore”, Jun said at once. Jin sighed in disappointment.
Ryo looked at Jun sharply. “So if Aiba-chan doesn't have the video anymore... does that mean you have it?”
Jun looked startled. Then he blushed slightly and pulled out his mobile phone, which had just beeped, staring at the screen intently.
Ryo grinned crazily. “MatsuJun is a pervert!” he sang.
Jin blinked at them. Then his face brightened. “Hey, since Jun has it, we could go to his place and watch it together there!”
Ryo watched Jun carefully. “Yeah, Jun. Don't you want to show Jin your gay porn collection?”
Jun looked up from his mobile phone and - to Ryo's great surprise - grinned. “I don't think you'd really want to see it”, he answered. “I just got a message from Aiba-chan. He and Leader are waiting for me in my apartment.”
“Oh, they can watch it with us, we don't mi-” Jin began.
“They're waiting in my bed”, Jun interrupted him. “Naked. And Leader brought some rope.”
Jin choked and Ryo let out a pained whine, scrubbing at his face as if the image was burning his eyelids.
MatsuJun regarded them for a moment. Then, calling out a last cheerful goodbye, he turned around and left with a very satisfied smirk on his face.
Final notes for those not familiar with the company/people mentioned at the end of the fic:
1.) Acceed is a Japanese movie company that makes gay porn. (And which might or might not be affiliated with/belong to at least thre other AV companies, but that is too confusing.)
2.) One of their actors, Teppei, looks enough like Kame to make me belief that it would be pretty easy even for people who know them to mistake those two from a distance. Here is a COMPLETELY WORKSAFE picture of him.
Comments are love! ^-^
The presents are quite late, but I still hope you both enjoy them! ^-^
For goldengutgirl
Title: VS Jun
Fandom/Pairing: Arashi / (hinted at) AibaJun
Rating: G
Wordcount: 871
Summary: VS Arashi gets a new game. Aiba is excited. (He invented it, after all!) Jun isn't really. (Aiba invented it, after all.)
VS Jun
“I absolutely refuse”, Jun said flatly.
“But it's an awesome idea!” Aiba argued.
“It does sound funny”, Sho agreed with him.
Jun looked down at the plans for the new VS Arashi game. As far as Aiba and the show's conceptual director had explained it to them, the game's goal was to get from one end of a seven metre long and twenty centimetre wide walkway to the other blindfolded without falling down. Along the way, three obstacles had to be passed and five turns had to be managed with the help of a supporter, who was allowed to give the blindfolded person directions. He looked up at Sho again and raised his eyebrows in disbelieve.
“You think it sounds funny.”
Nino put his arm around Ohno possessively.
“I think it's funny, too”, he decided. Ohno nodded.
Jun directed his stare at the two of them. They were sitting next to each other, bodies as closely pressed together as possible on two chairs, giving him identical grins.
He rolled his eyes. “Of course you would.”
“That's because it is an awesome idea! I came up with it!” Aiba told him.
Jun crossed his arms. “I still refuse.”
Aiba's lower lip started to tremble a bit. His eyes went very round and wide. “MatsuJun, please?” he begged.
Jun just stared back at him, waiting. It didn't take long. After about ten seconds, Aiba broke down, giggling. “Ah, damn”, he said, rubbing his eyes furiously, “not blinking makes my eyes hurt.”
Jun grinned in satisfaction. Then he noticed that Nino, Ohno and even Sho had adopted Aiba's methods and were also watching him with big, round eyes, their bottom lips sticking out,while the conceptual director was trying to suppress his smile.
Jun buried his head in his hands.
“Our next game”, the announcer boomed over the studio's audio system, “is 'Balance Beam'.”
As the announced spoke on, explaining the game to the guests and the audience, Jun rather desperately tried to make eye-contact with Ohno while ignoring the way Aiba was trying to make eye-contact with him. Both wasn't easy, as Aiba kept on moving between him and Leader, while Leader himself was having a staring competition - or perhaps a telepathic conversation, it was hard to tell with those two - with Nino.
The way Sho kept on turning to the side to hide his grin, in what he undoubtedly believed to be a show of tact, didn't help.
“Then, who from Arashi wants to start?” the announcer asked.
“Me! Me!” Aiba shouted, his hand in the air, and bounced up and down like a crazy rubber ball.
Nino wrestled his arm back down. “Stupid!” he admonished. “It has to be someone with a great sense of balance!”
“Lea...” Jun began, just to be interrupted by Ohno, who calmly said: “Let Jun-kun do it. He's got a great sense of balance.”
“I...” Jun tried again.
“MatsuJun will be great!” Sho agreed.
“Matsumoto-kun will go on the Balance Beam. And who will be the supporter?” the announcer asked.
Again Aiba jumped up and down like a demented rubber ball. “Me! Oh please, me!” he shouted.
Nino chuckled friendly and patted his arm.
“Alright, Aiba-chan will be supporter then!”
Jun sent him his best death-glare. Nino didn't even twitch. Resigning to his fate, Jun took his place at the beginning of the beam and let the staff blindfold him.
Walking on the beam was as difficult as he had anticipated. Even when he managed to ignore the rather unhelpful “good luck” calls from their guests and Sho, or the way Nino's cackling and Ohno's high-pitched giggling were still completely audible even over all the background noise, he still had to deal with his own special brand of 'support'.
“Step ahead, step ahead, step a- no, wait, now left! Left!”
Carefully, Jun stretched out his left foot and tried to feel for the beam with it. He hit nothing but air.
“No, le-”
“I am trying to go left!” Jun screamed back.
“No, no, I meant right! Right!” Aiba called.
“He meant the other left!” Nino shouted in the background.
“Shut up!” Jun shouted back. Somewhere behind him, Ohno started to whimper between giggles.
Despite giggling himself, Aiba still ploughed on bravely.
“Straight ahead, straight ahead, straight ahead, now left - real left”, he added, when Jun immediately started to feel for the beam with his right foot. “OK, now again straight ahead, we're nearly there at the obstacle! Str... whoa!” This was in response to Jun suddenly starting to wobble, as the lack of visual confirmation of his position left him without a sense of direction for a moment. He managed to regain his balance in moments, but his knees were still shaking slightly as he straightened up again, even though he knew that the beam was no higher than thirty centimetres and the ground beneath it padded.
“Be careful, MatsuJun!” Aiba's voice sounded much louder suddenly. “There's the wall! You have to climb over the wall!”
He managed to pass the first obstacle and judged himself to be about half way to the second one, when suddenly, the lack of visual confirmation hit him again. Desperately, he put out his feet into the direction he hoped the beam was and felt nothing beneath it again, before a sense of vertigo overtook him and he felt himself falling backwards - right into something soft and warm that wrapped strong arms around him and puffed moist air against his ear as it spoke.
“Whoa, that looked really scary, MatsuJun! You looked like a falling turtle just then!”
Jun shuddered, both at the shock and at the warm breath and gentle voice in his ear.
The arms around him tightened, and so he did the only thing he could do.
He turned around and kneed Aiba in the groin.
For Becky/beckerbell
Title: Of Turtles And Hares
Fandom/Pairing: Arashi/News/KAT-TUN - Ryo/Jin/MatsuJun kind-of-friendship; very briefly implied Ohno/Aiba/Jun pairing - and maybe Akame, if you want to interpret it that way... ^^"
Rating: PG-13 for insinuations
Wordcount: 5,760
Summary: When Kame is where he isn't supposed to be - at least according to Jin - there isn't really anything to do but to follow him, right? Well, at least according to Jin.
AN: In his Shounen Club Premium appearance, MatsuJun revealed that he enjoys going out to drink with Ryo and Jin, because the three of them are "very alike". Coupled with some other - unrelated - stuff I happened to run across, this made for a fic idea that wouldn't leave me alone anymore.
Oh, and I hope no one gets confused with "Jun" and "Jin"! I thought about writing "MatsuJun" the whole time, but thought it didn't quite fit, so I ended up using "Jun"...
Anyway, I hope you like it, Becky, and don't mind the hinted-at pairings in here... ^-^
Of Turtles And Hares
„...And then the photographer said that maybe Kame would look better in that outfit and did the shot with him!“ Jin finished his tale dramatically and downed the rest of his beer.
His two companions failed to look impressed.
„Well, Kame-chan is prettier than you“, Ryo said thoughtfully.
Jin pouted.
„It's not a matter of prettiness“, MatsuJun scoffed. „It's a matter of who's less slutty.“ He leaned back with his arms over the backrest. „Or at least a matter of who's better at acting less slutty.“
Jin's pout got more pronounced. „I'm not slutty! And my band isn't either!“
„Don't worry, Jin“, Ryo threw in, „Jun's obsession with your sluttiness stems from his uncontrollable envy.“
„Anyway“, Jin continued, ignoring Ryo, „it's not as if your band was any better!“
Jun looked honestly confused for a moment. „Arashi hasn't got any slutty members.“
Jin flung his arms up. „Have you seen Ninomiya when we have performances together?!“
„He's got a point there“, Ryo said. Jun reached over without looking at him and hit him on the head.
“Nino's not slutty”, he said. “He's marking his territory.”
“Since when is Yamapi his territory?” Ryo asked. “Or Kame-chan, for that matter?”
For the first time that evening, Jun looked faintly uncomfortable. “Aiba-chan says it's a thing of showing dominant behaviour in front of your mate by pretending to make advances on others.” The other two just stared at him. Jun sighed impatiently. “I try not to think about it too much, OK? Figuring out Nino's reasoning makes my head hurt.”
Ryo raised his beer in a toast. “That, at least, is something I can't blame you for.”
Jin, about to take a swig of his beer, stopped in mid-motion and stared at him with wide eyes. “KAME!”
“No, Ryo. Stop trying to be funny”, Ryo answered with a scowl.
“It's not his fault. It's his genes that made him stupid”, Jun said.
“No, I mean Kame! Here! In the bar!” Jin said in an urgent whisper and stared over Ryo's shoulder at the dancefloor and the bar. “No! Don't turn around! He'll see you!”
Ryo and Jun stopped and stared at him.
“And that would be bad why?”
“Because he's supposed to be working! He told me himself that he wouldn't get out before midnight today!”
“Huh.” Ryo carefully turned around and scanned the crowd in the bar until he had spotted the person he looked for. “You're right, it's Kame. And he's letting that older guy next to him buy him a drink.”
“He's what?!” Jin yelped and jumped up from his seat.
Ryo threw a napkin at him. “Sit down if you don't want him to see you! And so what if he just got away a little early and decided to head out for a little fun on his own. What's the problem with that?”
“He's not - he doesn't - he told me he wouldn't be able to make it this evening!” Jin whined.
“You mean you're just pissed off because he refused you?” Ryo asked.
“No, that's...”
“That's not Kame”, Jun said. The other two stared at him.
“Yes it is”, Ryo said after a short pause.
“It's not.”
Ryo stared at the glass of red wine in Jun's hand. “Just how strong is that stuff?” he asked. Jun hit him again with complete precision.
“It's Kame!” Jin insisted. “Who else would it be?”
For the second time, Jun appeared to be slightly uncomfortable. “Someone else ...who's not Kame”, he muttered.
Ryo stared at him and then at the guy sitting at the bar. “It's Kame”, he gave his verdict.
Jin nodded vigorously. “I told you guys! He lied to me! I'm going to call him and tell him that I can see him.” He opened his cell phone.
“I knew there was a reason I'm spending the evening with you guys instead of watching dorama”, Ryo said, as he watched Jin in fascination. Jun merely rolled his eyes. Jin kept his eyes fixed on Kame, who was laughing with the man who had just bought him yet another drink, and his expression got darker with every ring that was left unanswered. Finally, he snapped his phone shut again. “He's not answering!”
Ryo shrugged. “So he's decided to spend his evening with a friend and doesn't want to be disturb the whole time. Big deal.”
“Or maybe he doesn't answer his phone because he's still at work”, Jun said.
Ryo stared at him. “Since we're already talking about paranoid theories, how about he got abducted by aliens and that's just a clone?”
“Don't be ridiculous”, Jun said automatically. “We aren't the right demography for alien abductions.”
Ryo raised both of his eyebrows. Jun blushed.
“Or that might have only been what Sho said after Aiba read a book about alien abductions and he and Captain were afraid to enter the tour-bus because a lot of abductions happen on the road”, he muttered.
Ryo laughed.
Jin stood up abruptly. “I'm going down there! I won't let him ignore me!” He stomped off.
Ryo and Jun shared a look, before they got up and followed him at a leisurely pace.
“Next episode: Jin confronts Kame!” Ryo held his hands up as if he was framing the words.
“Can Kame's love for the mysterious stranger survive in the light of Jin's wrath?” Jun added.
“His brother Jin's wrath.” Ryo corrected.
Jun stopped to kick him. “You can't make Jin his brother. That's weird.”
Ryo attempted to imitate Jin's pout. “It's not weird. It's a dorama!”
Jun kicked him again. “It's weird.”
Ryo's pout deepened. “Does it count as domestic violence when you hurt your friends?”
Jun smirked widely and went ahead. “Do you want to complain?” he threw over his shoulder.
Ryo grumbled very quietly and followed him.
They caught up with a frustrated looking Jin in front of the bar.
“He's not here anymore!” he greeted them. “He must have seen me coming and run away!”
“Did you do something stupid?” Jun asked.
“I didn't do anything! I didn't even shout his name!”
“If you were on your way to him, didn't you see him get up and go away?” Ryo asked.
“He just disappeared! I only looked away for a few seconds and he was gone!”
“Huh.” Ryo thought for a moment. “Were you looking down a girl's top?”
“No!”
“This would be so much more convincing if you weren't blushing.”
“Can we go back to our table now?” Jun interrupted impatiently.
“Or we could follow him.” Ryo had spotted the young man at the bar's door. “He's just going outside.”
Jin followed his gaze and gasped. “Quick! Before he can escape again!” He shouldered his way through the crowd.
Jun raised an eyebrow at Ryo. “Any special reason why you're actually encouraging him?”
Ryo shrugged. “It's the next episode in the Jin-is-a-high-strung-idiot-dorama. It should be fun. Besides, weren't you complaining about the quality of the wine here, or something?”
“There is no quality to their wine. That's why I sent them to the next liquor store to buy me another one”, Jun countered, but sauntered in the direction of the exit.
Jin was standing at the street, in front of a waiting taxi. Another one was just pulling away.
“Quick! He just got into a taxi, we have to follow him!” He pushed both of them into the car's backseat and slid into the front.
Ryo grinned. “How much do you wanna bet that we'll actually manage to chase them?”
Jun snorted. “How much do you want to bet that the driver will have the greatest urge to kill us after Jin's screeched into his ears multiple times in his excitement?”
Ryo mimicked his snort. “I don't bet on certainties.”
Jin turned around in his seat. “What are you guys talking about?” he demanded to know.
Ryo waved his hand at him majestically. “Turn around and watch the road, idiot”, he ordered. Jin pouted, but did what he was told. A minute later he screeched as the taxi in front of them was suddenly blocked from their view by another car.
Ryo and Jun snickered.
Their snickering had turned into full-blown, if muffled, laughter by the time the taxi pulled over in front of a tiny mall that seemed to cater to fashionable but not too expensive tastes, and the driver was repeatedly rubbing his ear.
Jin ignored them all. His eyes were glued to the two figures who were just walking up the steps to the mall.
“Look!” he hissed. His hands were gripping the car's handhold tightly.
Ryo stared too. The taller man had very visibly put his hand on the small of Kame's back, just above the rise of his buttocks. Judging by the way Kame moved closer to him, he didn't mind at all. The man held open the door to the mall for Kame and they disappeared inside.
Jin threw open his door and stumbled outside.
“Quick! We have to follow them!” he whispered loudly. Ryo nodded and got out as well. Ducked low, they scurried over to one side of the mall doors. Pressed against the wall, they carefully tiptoed forward until they could peer around the edge of the doorway and into the mall.
“Can you see them?” Jin whispered. Ryo shook his head and moved a bit to get a better view.
Jun, who had paid the taxi-driver in the meantime, walked up the steps, ignoring all of Jin's attempts to wave him to the side.
Instead he pushed open the door to the mall and only stopped long enough to smirk at them, before he walked inside.
Jin stared after him.
“Sometimes, I really don't like him”, he said.
Ryo hit him. “This is for making me do stupid things with you and give MatsuJun reason to mock me”, he declared and stalked after Jun.
Jin pouted after him.
“Sometimes, I don't like you either.”
There was no sign of Kame and the other man in the mall. Jun had stopped moving and was looking at the display of a jeweller's store with interest.
Jin gripped the sleeve of his jacket and leaned on him. His eyes kept sweeping through the mall's corridor.
“Did you see them?” he asked. “Where are they?”
Jun looked down briefly at the hand on his clothes, but didn't comment on it. He inclined his head towards a clothing store with signs that loudly proclaimed the sale of genuine Versace articles at about a third of the price found anywhere else.
Jin craned his neck, trying to get a glimpse of the store's interior without being suspicious. “In there?” he whispered. “He's in there? With that guy? What does he want in there?”
Ryo snorted.
“At least we know one thing about his sugar-daddy now. He hasn't got any taste. And he's got no idea how to treat a lover properly. Who the hell would try to give Kame fake Versace?” His face lit up as another thought occurred to him. “Or maybe they don't even want to buy anything! Maybe they just want to use one of the store's dressing rooms!”
Jun sniggered.
Jin sighed impatiently and crossed his arms, glaring at them.
“You're so perverted!”
He sighed again as this response only made both of them double over with laughter.
“I'm going over there and confront him”, he stated seriously. “I have no idea what he's doing with that guy, but I know Kame and that's not like him.”
With that, he stalked off towards the store, obviously done with hiding.
Ryo straightened, wiping tears of laughter from his eyes.
“Man, that guy is actually serious.” He shook his head and mock-scowled. “And now we have to go and make sure that he doesn't embarrass Kame too badly... oi, Jun!”
Jun, already inside the jeweller's store, turned around and raised his eyebrow questioningly.
Ryo rolled his eyes, undisturbed by that display of dramatics.
“Don't you think we should go and rescue Kame from Jin's wrath, or something?”
Jun stared at him for a moment. “The ring section here is quite good”, he said then.
Ryo stayed where he was, torn between following Jin and possibly rescuing either him or Kame, and following Jun. In the end, he decided that they'd undoubtedly hear it if Jin made a scene and hastily followed Jun inside the jeweller's store.
Jun was taking a closer look at the rings he had already seen in the display. Ryo joined him.
“They're pretty”, he said. “You don't think we'll need to keep an eye on Jin?”
Jun was quiet for a moment. “No”, he said then. “Despite his frequent stupidity, Jin is quite able to fend for himself. He did so for six months, after all.”
Ryo hummed. “You're right, of course. But still - you seem pretty stand-offish this evening.”
Jun glanced at him before he focussed on the rings again. “That's because that guy's not Kame. And even if he were, I don't think it's nice to stalk your friends.”
“You're pretty sure that this guy isn't Kame”, Ryo wondered. “Any special reasons for that?”
Jun shrugged. “Just a feeling”, he said distractedly and picked up a ring. The store-keeper was watching him intently. Without a second thought, Ryo moved between him and Jun, blocking his stare with his back.
“A feeling”, Ryo didn't sound too convinced. “Anyway. Don't tell me you wouldn't stalk them if you saw one of your bandmates leave with an older guy like that.”
Jun put the ring down and picked up another one. “That's different. At least half of them are about as trusting as little kittens and have just as much common sense. Kame is smart and he knows how to take care of himself.”
“Still... Jin's intentions are good. I like that ring.”
Jun frowned and put the ring down. “Not really my style after all.” He took up a third ring. “If you think Jin's in the right, why aren't you over there helping him?”
Ryo snorted. “You really think I'd show him that I think he's right?”
Jun smiled.
“Oi! Guys!” a loud hiss drew their attention to the front of the store. Jin was standing there, his face slightly panicked. “Don't stand here shopping! You need to help me! I can't confront Kame and that other guy on my own!”
“Poor Jin”, Ryo said sweetly. “Are you afraid that Kame-chan will be angry at you for interrupting his time with his sugar-daddy? Or are you afraid you're going to interrupt them in the middle of something ...important?”
Jun sniggered.
Jin looked at them angrily. “I wish Yamapi was here with me”, he said, sulking. “He wouldn't make fun of me!”
Ryo leaned one arm on Jun's shoulder. Jun shrugged him off. Ryo crossed his arms instead.
“That's because Yamapi is a nice guy. A genuinely nice guy. Whereas Matsumoto and I are the cool, but mean, good-looking ones.”
Jin sulked some more. “I'm a cool and mean good-looking guy as well. And I don't abandon my friends like that.”
“You keep telling yourself that”, Ryo said pityingly.
Jin huffed, crossed his arms and looked to the side, not answering.
“Can't help it if you're one of the good guys, Akanishi”, Jun said, his voice sounding just a little bit gentler than before. “It's not too bad. They can probably be useful too, I guess.”
Ryo bumped his shoulder into Jin's as he moved past.
“Come on. Didn't you want to ask Kame why he's playing the little boy-toy for some older guy?”
Jin huffed again and pushed past Ryo to enter the fake-Versace store first.
“They were near the dressing-room”, he said and made his way to the back of the store, ignoring the smiling and bowing store-owner. Then he stopped, puzzled, staring at the open door to the dressing-room.
“The dressing-rooms are empty”, Ryo stated the obvious.
Jin looked around frantically.
“But they must be here somewhere! They were just a few moments ago, when I went to get you guys!”
“They probably got outside while we were talking”, Ryo said. He thought for another moment, before he offered: “We could take a quick look outside, see if we can find them.”
Jin ran out of the store. Ryo followed him, bravely ignoring Jun's displeased look. As he joined him, Jin looked at him a bit helplessly. “They're not here.”
Ryo thought quickly.
“We'll look for them. Jun, you go out to the front, maybe they took a taxi again”, he ordered. “Call us, if you see them. Jin, you and I'll search the mall.”
Jun stayed long enough to hit Ryo on the head, but after that he took off to the front of the mall. Jin followed Ryo, who was already halfway down the corridor in the other direction. At the end of it, one corridor went to the right, another to the left. Both were seemingly empty, but Jin noticed movement at the end of the corridor to the left. Pulling Ryo near the wall, he carefully peeked around the corner.
“It's them!” he whispered excitedly, as Kame and the other guy left a small store. “Let's go!”
“We have to tell Jun first”, Ryo reminded him and got his mobile phone out of his pocket. The call only took a few seconds and Jun didn't take more than half a minute to reach them, but Jin was still bouncing on his feet impatiently the whole time.
“You took so long!” he complained. “Let's go!”
Quickly, he scurried down the corridor towards the place he had last seen Kame. At the end of the corridor, he rounded another corner and discovered that there was another door leading outside - and that Kame and Other Guy were just stepping outside.
Jin back-pedalled into the corridor immediately and hid behind the corner. Carefully, he peeked around it.
“Didn't you want to confront Kame?” Ryo said, right behind him.
Jin jumped.
“Don't scare me like that!” he hissed. “And be quiet!”
Ryo snorted. “I thought you wanted them to notice you.”
“Yes, in the shop, but now they're going outside again and I want to know where they're going!” Jin whispered loudly. “What if Kame gets in trouble with that guy? Or what if he causes a scandal?!”
Ryo just snorted at that idea.
“They're outside and walking left. Come on!” Jin ordered. He scurried forward again. Ryo followed him, because unlike Jun, who now ambled towards them slowly as if he had all the time in the world, he was slowly starting to enjoy this hunt.
The chase this time wasn't too difficult. Kame and Other Guy didn't seem to be in any hurry and since they were walking down some back alleys, there were enough dark corners for Jin to hide in when he thought that Kame and Other Guy were about to look back.
After a few minutes, Kame and Other Guy reached a nondescript office-building and moved inside.
Jin and Ryo pressed themselves to the wall next to the building's entrance again.
“I knew it! He's gone to that guy's apartment with him!” Jin hissed. “We have to follow them!”
“If it's the guy's apartment, there's no way we'll be able to get inside”, Ryo answered. “And how would you find out his apartment number? Anyway, this is an office building. Look at all the signs! There are not apartments here.”
“But where are they, then? And what are they doing?”
Ryo pursed his lips.
“Hell if I know! I have no idea why Kamenashi would want to visit an office at eleven in the evening. And here I always thought Ueda was the most mental of KAT-TUN!”
“He's not mental. I mean, they're not mental.” Jin looked confused for a moment. “Anyway, that doesn't help me find out where they've gone to!”
Ryo narrowed his eyes and looked over at Jun, who was studying the signs on the wall next to the building's door with great interest. Or, rather, he was studying one particular sign with great interest. Ryo went over to him.
“ACCEED” he read the English words on the small, serious-looking sign. “Movie Company”, he continued with the smaller kanji beneath the title. “A movie company? Hey Jin, is Kame thinking about doing another movie?”
Jin looked at him, puzzled. “I don't know. He doesn't talk with us about that often, at least not before he's very sure that he's going to do it. He only says something early on when it might interfere with concerts.”
Ryo scanned the other signs on the wall. From the corner of his eyes he noticed that Jun hadn't looked away from the ACCEED sign at all - and that he was grinning widely again. Ryo shivered a bit and concentrated on the signs.
“There's nothing here that would be interesting to someone like Kame”, he announced. “Only that weird movie company that I have never heard of.”
Jin huffed. “I've had enough! I'm calling him!” He whipped out his mobile phone.
To Ryo's mild surprise, this time it only took five rings until Kame answered.
“KAME! I SAW YOU!” Jin shouted into the phone. There was a pause. Then: “I just saw you go into that building!”
Ryo sniggered, as on the other end, Kame's rather puzzled voice was just barely audible to them.
“The office building!” Jin screeched. “You just went inside!” A pause. “YOU ARE NOT WORKING ANYMORE, I JUST SAW YOU! DON'T LIE! KAME...” He stopped shouting into the phone and looked up at Ryo and Jun. “He hung up on me.”
Jun laughed and leaned against the wall next to the signs.
Jin pressed his lips together.
“I'm going to go in there”, he said determinedly. “Are you guys with me?”
Ryo shrugged. “Sure. Sounds interesting.”
Jun leaned against the wall. “I'll wait out here.”
Ryo grinned at him. “Scared?”
Jun merely smiled haughtily. “Not interested in making a fool out of myself.”
Jin pouted, but Ryo, who was just taking a closer look through the glass door, grinned. “Fine. We need someone distracting that watchman over there while we go in anyway.”
Jun fixed him with a hard stare. “Didn't I just say that I wouldn't make a fool out of myself?”
Ryo turned back to him, pushed his bottom lip out and concentrated. After a few moments, Jun started to look puzzled.
“What are you trying to do there? You're going cross-eyed.”
Ryo opened his eyes a bit wider and pushed is bottom lip out further. “I'm trying to imitate Ohno-kun”, he said and nudged Jin. “Hey, try to imitate Aiba-kun.”
Jin nodded and started to bounce up and down with what looked like the attempt at a manic grin.
Jun stared at the two of them for a long moment. Finally, he crossed his arms and shook his head.
“You're idiots and I fail to see what my bandmates have to do with this.”
“Don't be stupid. Everyone knows you're putty in Ohno and Aiba-kun's hands”, Ryo answered. “Even Jin knows it.”
Jin looked a bit offended at the comment, but nodded anyway.
Jun stared at them some more. Finally he sighed and moved to the door. “Come on, then. Before my pity leads me to end your sorry existences.”
Ryo and Jin grinned at each other and moved to the door, watching Jun cross the hall towards the watchman's desk. They waited until he had suitably engaged the watchman in a complicated conversation about a rare-pasta shop that supposedly was located in the area, and silently slipped in the door and towards the staircase.
“Fourth floor”, Ryo whispered after studying the board on the wall.
Jin nodded and started to tiptoe up the stairs. His eyes were shining in excitement and a few times on the way up, Ryo had to glare at him, because he couldn't suppress his giggles.
“You'd make the worst detective ever in real life”, he commented.
“I wouldn't! I have been a great detective in the past!” Jin hissed back.
“TV shows don't count! And shut up, we're here.” Carefully, Ryo opened the door to the fourth floor's corridor and peeked inside. There were several door leading from the corridor, all of them labelled with the “ACCEED” sign they'd seen downstairs, most of them clearly leading to brightly lit rooms and one, as Jin pointed out to Ryo with a lot of hissing and nudging, even standing open a bit.
Surreptitiously looking around, they stole across the corridor and crouched down near the open door. Carefully they both held their breaths and listened. There was the noise of people talking to each other and apparently lugging around large and heavy equipment, but it was all muffled, as if it was happening beyond yet other doors.
After sharing a short glance with Jin, Ryo pushed the door a bit further open and peered inside. There was yet another empty corridor, from which a few other closed doors led somewhere. There were also handwritten signs on all of the doors.
Jin next to him sighed. “He's not here. Ow!”
Ryo removed his elbow from Jin's ribs and pointed at one of the doors. “How about that one?”
Jin stared at the door, puzzled.
“The sign”, Ryo said. “It says 'Dressing Room', in case you can't read the kanji.”
“I can read the kanji!” Jin protested. “I just don't know what you mean!”
“Dressing Room”, Ryo said very slowly. “Dressing Room equals someone getting dressed and getting his make-up done. These rooms seem to belong to a film studio. And who needs make-up and clothes in a movie?”
“The actors... So you mean Kame might be inside?” Jin's voice got excited again.
Ryo rolled his eyes at him. “Took you long enough.”
Jin ignored his words and scrambled through the door. “Come on, then! Let's surprise Kame!”
Ryo threw another glance in all directions and followed him.
Standing in front of the dressing room door, Jin hesitated a bit. Then he turned the handle and stepped inside the room boldly.
“Kame!” he said loudly.
Kame, who was sitting in front of a make-up mirror half-naked, turned around.
Jin gasped loudly and stumbled a few steps back. Ryo felt his eyes go wide.
“You're not Kame!” Jin shouted.
The young man in front of them looked embarrassed.
Ryo still couldn't do anything but stare at him. This guy looked so much like Kame that he could have easily passed as him on the street. Of course, people who knew Kame well could see the differences between the two quite well as soon as they were near him - but the guy looked enough like Kame that even Ryo and Jin had been fooled the whole time they had seen him from a distance.
Ryo blinked. “...Are you related to Kamenashi Kazuya?”
The young man fidgeted uncomfortably. “N-not exactly”, he murmured.
“You look like him! You look like Kame!” Jin's mouth and eyes were still wide open.
“Yeah, I...” the young man broke off abruptly, as suddenly, the door was opened widely again and a round man came inside.
“Teppei, have you...” he stopped and regarded the two intruders. Jin sought shelter behind Ryo immediately and braced himself for a harsh lecture; but the man only smiled at them beatifically.
“Teppei!” he shouted exuberantly. “Where did you get those guys?! They're perfect!” He regarded Ryo and Jin rather hungrily. “They look just like the real deal!”
“Uhm... boss...” Teppei murmured, “they...”
His boss ignored him. “Well, boys. What are you waiting for? You've got your contracts already, haven't you? Strange, our secretary must have been blind to forget to mention how much you remember those idols! NEWS' Nishikod Ryo and KAT-TUN's Akanishi Jin, right? Perfect, perfect! Especially you”, he pointed at Jin, “now we already have two KAT-TUN members!” His eyes sparkled and he rubbed his hands gleefully. “You're going to bring us so much money, boys! You'll be perfect! Perfect, perfect!”
Jin and Ryo just stared at him in confusion. The man stopped rubbing his hands.
“Well, what are you boys waiting for?” he demanded. “Get naked already! You're not shy, aren't you? Let me tell you, shyness and embarrassment will get you nowhere in this business! I know, this is always hard for newcomers, but believe me, the prouder you stand to what you do, the more people will respect you for it! And just think of all the lonely men and women you make happy with your movies! That's a reason to stand upright, don't you think?” He beamed at them.
Jin and Ryo were still just staring at him, mouths open.
Teppei cleared his throat.
“Uhm... boss...” he said quietly, “when you came in, they had just discovered that I'm not Kamenashi-kun.”
His boss looked over at him and paled a bit. “You mean those guys aren't our newbies?”
Teppei shook his head.
The guy covered his face with his hand. “So you guys aren't here to shoot 'Snow In Him' with us?”
“...I don't think so...?” Jin managed to squeak out.
Ryo looked between Teppei and the boss. “Are you filming ...adult videos?” he asked very quietly.
Teppei blushed and looked at the floor. His boss put a hand on his shoulder and stood very straight.
“The very finest gay porn you could find on this side of the globe”, he said with quiet pride. “And Teppei-kun is one of our best actors.”
Ryo nodded. “We have to go now”, he said and ran out of the room.
“Wha- wait, Ryo!” Jin squeaked and looked helplessly at Teppei and his boss. He performed a half-bow. “Nice to meet you, we have to go now, bye...” he babbled and stumbled out of the room behind Ryo, who was already halfway down the stairs.
“Ryo, wait for me!” he called after him, but Ryo ignored him. Running as fast as he could, Jin managed to catch up with him at the bottom of the stairs.
“Ryo, what...” Ryo stormed onwards, ignoring both Jin and the startled look from the watchman. Throwing the door to the street open with a bang, he stopped right in front of Jun, who was leaning against the wall and had already started laughing.
Ryo pointed at him. “You knew where we were going!” he shouted. “You knew what 'ACCEED' was!”
Jun only laughed harder.
Ryo stomped his feet. “How could you?! You just let us run into it! Unprepared! Do you know that they thought we were porn actors as well?!”
By now, Jun looked as if he was having trouble breathing.
“You! I can't believe you did this!” Ryo shouted.
Jun looked as if all of his dreams had just come true. Ryo looked like he wanted to murder him.
Jin looked between the two of them.
“But how did MatsuJun know that this was a porn company? Have you seen any of their movies?”
Jun abruptly stopped laughing and after a confused pause, an evil grin spread over Ryo's face.
“Yes, Jun-kun”, he said sweetly. “Please tell us how you got to know this company. And while you're at it: Please tell me how you immediately knew that the young man wasn't Kame, when you had only seen him once from a distance? You must know Kame very well to discern that when even Jin and I didn't pick up on it. Or maybe it is Teppei-kun you know well...?”
Jun crossed his arms and sighed. Ryo raised his eyebrow expectantly.
“Aiba once brought a video to work where a guy who he said looked just like Kame was acting in. And no”, Jun added and glared at Ryo, “I don't know where Aiba-kun got a gay porn video with an idol look-alike.”
“And of course you then decided to watch it for scientific reasons, right?” Ryo asked, amused.
Jun glared harder. “Nino wanted blackmail material.”
Jin blinked. “You mean you guys watched it all together? That's actually a bit disturbing.”
“So you watched it once? Teppei-kun must have been very impressive - that you could still recognize him at that distance all at once”, Ryo needled.
Jun bared his teeth at him. Ryo just grinned evilly.
“You know”, Jin interrupted them, “I'd quite like to see that one myself.” He blushed when both Ryo and Jun stared at him incredulously. “I mean, it must be pretty interesting, seeing a guy who looks like one of your friends have sex with other guys, right?” he defended himself.
“You mean disturbing”, Ryo corrected him. “I think I'd rather kill myself than watch porn with Yamapi. Or”, he shuddered, “with Yoko.”
“Yamapi-porn would be hot!” Jin loyally defended his best friend. Ryo made a gagging noise.
Jin looked at Jun again. “Anyway”, he said. “Do you think I could ask Aiba-chan for that video?”
“He doesn't have it anymore”, Jun said at once. Jin sighed in disappointment.
Ryo looked at Jun sharply. “So if Aiba-chan doesn't have the video anymore... does that mean you have it?”
Jun looked startled. Then he blushed slightly and pulled out his mobile phone, which had just beeped, staring at the screen intently.
Ryo grinned crazily. “MatsuJun is a pervert!” he sang.
Jin blinked at them. Then his face brightened. “Hey, since Jun has it, we could go to his place and watch it together there!”
Ryo watched Jun carefully. “Yeah, Jun. Don't you want to show Jin your gay porn collection?”
Jun looked up from his mobile phone and - to Ryo's great surprise - grinned. “I don't think you'd really want to see it”, he answered. “I just got a message from Aiba-chan. He and Leader are waiting for me in my apartment.”
“Oh, they can watch it with us, we don't mi-” Jin began.
“They're waiting in my bed”, Jun interrupted him. “Naked. And Leader brought some rope.”
Jin choked and Ryo let out a pained whine, scrubbing at his face as if the image was burning his eyelids.
MatsuJun regarded them for a moment. Then, calling out a last cheerful goodbye, he turned around and left with a very satisfied smirk on his face.
Final notes for those not familiar with the company/people mentioned at the end of the fic:
1.) Acceed is a Japanese movie company that makes gay porn. (And which might or might not be affiliated with/belong to at least thre other AV companies, but that is too confusing.)
2.) One of their actors, Teppei, looks enough like Kame to make me belief that it would be pretty easy even for people who know them to mistake those two from a distance. Here is a COMPLETELY WORKSAFE picture of him.
Comments are love! ^-^