[PRIVATE for myself]

Apr 03, 2010 01:58

I find peace in simple things, yet it seems like I've come down with something that been on the way for quite some time. Something that has been right in the border of my vision, yet never where I could identify it. When I say "come down with" I don't mean sickness, though I've noticed more than one person calling it such. There new feelings make me think I'm not as composed as everyone thinks I am. I'm adversed towards change, but change is something that happens whether I like it or not. I think this change started when Senri got into league with An, but for some reason, the seeds might've been there even before. No, I'm sure they were there before. It's not everyday that a random person offers their hand to a guy who doesn't play well with others.

That's another thing I've been reduced to thinking. Is it because I can't play with others, or that I don't? I don't care much for socializing, yet there are times I hate the quiet and solitude. It's nice to have someone to talk to. Besides Senri. He's inconsistant and appears when I least expect him. Now that I think of it, I tend to take Senri for granted.

For a second there I thought about making a post just for him, but he might not answer. I might as well call him and see if he's awake. Even if he's not it's okay.

About An and our plans to go back to Tokyo in vacation. Her April Fool's joke was terrible and improper in all ways. I'll be unfair and tell on her. Mom can be tolerant but even she has some standards to what to say and how to act.

It'll be a good time to reflect a little again. It seems probable that I'll miss him, but I can put some distance between and think long and hard what I want. It's better not to get involved half-heartedly.
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