Alabama and I are fighting
So my "vacation" was last week, and it was not as vacationy as I had hoped. I tried to get the rental early (monday night) so I could just hit the road running and get to Gulf Breeze, but due to the ice we had everywhere Enterprise was sans cars. When I did show up tuesday am for my scheduled rental they had none of what I ordered, normally this might piss me off, but I got upgraded 2 classes to a LX 2009 Kia Rondo. At first I was quite skeptical, would this giant lumbering bastard child of a volkswagon rabbit and a big dopey SUV really be able to handle the terrible things I would have to do to it? Well, the good news is it held up insanely well, the better news was that it had direct to USB input jacks, so I never even ran outta audio on the trip, not once. ever.
And so the epic road trip begins, i run to the office to print out my maps, catching a WTF are you doing here from the guys, run back to teh_barrel and load up my goodies in this strange vehicular crossbreed, swing by McDonalds to slam down some calories, a mana potion, and a g33k b33r and start down 46. For those of you (like me) who dont/didnt know, 46 is a GREAT drive, its all curvy and scenic and hilly and the speed limits enough that you almost wanna kick it down to take it in, this leg of my trip was probably the least stress inducing because as soon as i hit 65S, the driving was for reals.
Very shortly after i jumped on the highway, it started to rain, not THAT big a nuisance, but inconvenient nonetheless. I learned awhile back that one of the first things you do in a rental is find the wipers and the lights because they probably arent where youd expect them to be and youll need em. So here we are, cruising down 65 headed to louisville with an endless stream of audio, getting through louisville with no issues at all. Hit tenessee, get gas and a pile of energy drinks, get confronted by a store clerk who though the portal buttons on my tactical vest who thought they were service badges, I lold. And then dear readers the shit began. Nashville, homestead of some pretty cool things, is the real world version of the dreaded QTE in a game. Seriously, i was on 65, things were fine, i saw that 2-3 lanes were an exit, i "pressed X to stay on highway" and kept going... I did NOT expect the need to do this 2 more friggin times and ended up at a gas station in the middle of nashville during the lunch return rush. Dont worry guys, its cool, me n Nashville made up on the ride home... but me and alabama... were still fighting.
I finally made it into that place and everything was suck. The energy drinks were all mostly lo carb and tasted like radiator fermentation drippings, the gas pumps for some reason filled my tank so full that should I try to force that last nickel in it would end up on my shoes, and did the first time i tried, and the whole state consisted of loooooooooooooooong stretches of NOTHING followed by the occasional 4-6 lane prayer inducing crazed B button mashing giant soul devouring city. Knowing full well it was going to be a long haul, i hit the first rest stop I saw, between the state line and birmingham, and this place was the most awesome rest stop ever, it takes you about half a mile off the highway, its like a giant sprawling park. I chilled out there for a minute and then jumped back on, quickly discovering that the Kia could easily use any exit ramp to preform a B button jump onto the highway and not even faze anyone else when i merged. Birmingham... long nothing... montgomery... long stretch of nothing... junction to AL113... long stretch of nothing, and then i got plonked in some podunk city on the FL border where i had to slow to 35, and do a barrel roll to go back and hit the exit that i missed as the road sign for it was written in font size 6. I finally make it onto 110 and its dark, i get to gulf breeze and my map unfortunately shows little to nothing I need in regards to this stretch, so I wing it. I got a rough idea from my sister about where it is, thought i purposely overshot it and made like i would go back onto the highway so I could make the turn easier. Well, i look at the sign and i actually guessed right, first try, so i pull a 180, and have my sister stand in the middle of the road while i do +10 to get down this dirt road, and I finally make it there. The thing about the trip was that, in principle, its easy, you drive south, hit the ocean, and hang a left, but the cities...
So Im there, my vacation starts then right? Well.... my vacation consisted of mostly keeping a fisheye on my 2 year old nephew who was trying to do terrible things to the dog with a push n pop vacuum, I have pictures. Most of my vacation consisted of that and getting my mom and my sister hooked on Peggle and installing the demo for Galactrix and running damage control for my nephew.
Friday afternoon I started the trip home, and started on the wrong foot. I missed by junction to get to alabama the easy way, and ended up in Mobile where i was about 3 miles from the ocean, easily visible, and I began a descent into a giant 2 lane tunnel... down into a tunnel next to the ocean... For a brief shining moment, i thought I was headed to Rapture , but no big daddy was there to help me get back to teh_barrel. Survived Mobile, continued to Montgomery, started getting tired between montgomery and brimingham, got the the awesome rest stop, and the secret powers of the kia rondo were revealed to me. Stow and go seating, which i used to form a crude bed where i took a nap with the doors locked and the car alarm on. Slept for about an hour, maybe 2, powered though and got to nashville at about 5 am. Traffic was spare, so the QTE events that bested be previous were cake. Once through nashville, i napped at the next rest stop near the border again, and left at, literally, the crack of dawn. The rest of the trip was cake, but alabama and I are still fighting.
And so the epic road trip begins, i run to the office to print out my maps, catching a WTF are you doing here from the guys, run back to teh_barrel and load up my goodies in this strange vehicular crossbreed, swing by McDonalds to slam down some calories, a mana potion, and a g33k b33r and start down 46. For those of you (like me) who dont/didnt know, 46 is a GREAT drive, its all curvy and scenic and hilly and the speed limits enough that you almost wanna kick it down to take it in, this leg of my trip was probably the least stress inducing because as soon as i hit 65S, the driving was for reals.
Very shortly after i jumped on the highway, it started to rain, not THAT big a nuisance, but inconvenient nonetheless. I learned awhile back that one of the first things you do in a rental is find the wipers and the lights because they probably arent where youd expect them to be and youll need em. So here we are, cruising down 65 headed to louisville with an endless stream of audio, getting through louisville with no issues at all. Hit tenessee, get gas and a pile of energy drinks, get confronted by a store clerk who though the portal buttons on my tactical vest who thought they were service badges, I lold. And then dear readers the shit began. Nashville, homestead of some pretty cool things, is the real world version of the dreaded QTE in a game. Seriously, i was on 65, things were fine, i saw that 2-3 lanes were an exit, i "pressed X to stay on highway" and kept going... I did NOT expect the need to do this 2 more friggin times and ended up at a gas station in the middle of nashville during the lunch return rush. Dont worry guys, its cool, me n Nashville made up on the ride home... but me and alabama... were still fighting.
I finally made it into that place and everything was suck. The energy drinks were all mostly lo carb and tasted like radiator fermentation drippings, the gas pumps for some reason filled my tank so full that should I try to force that last nickel in it would end up on my shoes, and did the first time i tried, and the whole state consisted of loooooooooooooooong stretches of NOTHING followed by the occasional 4-6 lane prayer inducing crazed B button mashing giant soul devouring city. Knowing full well it was going to be a long haul, i hit the first rest stop I saw, between the state line and birmingham, and this place was the most awesome rest stop ever, it takes you about half a mile off the highway, its like a giant sprawling park. I chilled out there for a minute and then jumped back on, quickly discovering that the Kia could easily use any exit ramp to preform a B button jump onto the highway and not even faze anyone else when i merged. Birmingham... long nothing... montgomery... long stretch of nothing... junction to AL113... long stretch of nothing, and then i got plonked in some podunk city on the FL border where i had to slow to 35, and do a barrel roll to go back and hit the exit that i missed as the road sign for it was written in font size 6. I finally make it onto 110 and its dark, i get to gulf breeze and my map unfortunately shows little to nothing I need in regards to this stretch, so I wing it. I got a rough idea from my sister about where it is, thought i purposely overshot it and made like i would go back onto the highway so I could make the turn easier. Well, i look at the sign and i actually guessed right, first try, so i pull a 180, and have my sister stand in the middle of the road while i do +10 to get down this dirt road, and I finally make it there. The thing about the trip was that, in principle, its easy, you drive south, hit the ocean, and hang a left, but the cities...
So Im there, my vacation starts then right? Well.... my vacation consisted of mostly keeping a fisheye on my 2 year old nephew who was trying to do terrible things to the dog with a push n pop vacuum, I have pictures. Most of my vacation consisted of that and getting my mom and my sister hooked on Peggle and installing the demo for Galactrix and running damage control for my nephew.
Friday afternoon I started the trip home, and started on the wrong foot. I missed by junction to get to alabama the easy way, and ended up in Mobile where i was about 3 miles from the ocean, easily visible, and I began a descent into a giant 2 lane tunnel... down into a tunnel next to the ocean... For a brief shining moment, i thought I was headed to Rapture , but no big daddy was there to help me get back to teh_barrel. Survived Mobile, continued to Montgomery, started getting tired between montgomery and brimingham, got the the awesome rest stop, and the secret powers of the kia rondo were revealed to me. Stow and go seating, which i used to form a crude bed where i took a nap with the doors locked and the car alarm on. Slept for about an hour, maybe 2, powered though and got to nashville at about 5 am. Traffic was spare, so the QTE events that bested be previous were cake. Once through nashville, i napped at the next rest stop near the border again, and left at, literally, the crack of dawn. The rest of the trip was cake, but alabama and I are still fighting.