Frank (possibly Francis) Bernard Powers Jr.
As I said before I wanted to put something in here about my grandfather.
It's tough, everyone likes to pretend that someone who has passed away was this great person. But reality is rarely that simple and nice. My grandfather *was* a great man in many ways, but he was rarely a nice man, and more than occasionally drunk and/or violent. Even at the service his own family was obviously choosing their words carefully when speaking about him.
He was probably the most intelligent man I've ever met, and he remained sharp right up till the end. He cared deeply for his family and usually struck the right balance between helping/protecting his family and letting them grow/learn.
He was however the reason that that side of the family is the way it is. And that's no small accomplishment. He had a large family, and we've stayed very, very close. I'm often asked by others if the family was close, or if I was close to Grandpa. And to me it doesn't seem so because to me that's just the way it always was. But when other people interact with the family they're usually shocked about how close we all are. Just ask the priest who did the funeral service when he asked the family to stay outside so we could all go in together. I don't think he quite grasped the size of the family. 7 (+ an extra pseudokid) kids, 20ish grandkids, plus great grandkids (including Frank V), spouses etc. Or the families of spouses when us grandkids get married.
Losing him was not surprising, in fact keeping him for as long as we did was surprising, so it wasn't really about being sad he was gone, it was just about stopping to reflect for a while. And taking care of him was really grinding my grandmother down.
It's tough, everyone likes to pretend that someone who has passed away was this great person. But reality is rarely that simple and nice. My grandfather *was* a great man in many ways, but he was rarely a nice man, and more than occasionally drunk and/or violent. Even at the service his own family was obviously choosing their words carefully when speaking about him.
He was probably the most intelligent man I've ever met, and he remained sharp right up till the end. He cared deeply for his family and usually struck the right balance between helping/protecting his family and letting them grow/learn.
He was however the reason that that side of the family is the way it is. And that's no small accomplishment. He had a large family, and we've stayed very, very close. I'm often asked by others if the family was close, or if I was close to Grandpa. And to me it doesn't seem so because to me that's just the way it always was. But when other people interact with the family they're usually shocked about how close we all are. Just ask the priest who did the funeral service when he asked the family to stay outside so we could all go in together. I don't think he quite grasped the size of the family. 7 (+ an extra pseudokid) kids, 20ish grandkids, plus great grandkids (including Frank V), spouses etc. Or the families of spouses when us grandkids get married.
Losing him was not surprising, in fact keeping him for as long as we did was surprising, so it wasn't really about being sad he was gone, it was just about stopping to reflect for a while. And taking care of him was really grinding my grandmother down.