pesterchum: that thing with jane that is long and ends in tragedy
-- gambitTriumphant [GT] began pestering brokenRecord [BR] at 18:25 --
-- gambitTriumphant [GT] ceased pestering brokenRecord [BR] at 18:26 --
-- gambitTriumphant [GT] changed their mood to CHUMMY
--
BR: wow ok
-- gambitTriumphant [GT] began pestering brokenRecord [BR] at 18:26 --
GT: oops!
BR: were you trying to click my dave
BR: and missed or what
GT: what?
GT: no!
GT: i was trying to click you!
GT: who is your davea, anyway?
BR: nevermind i dont have one
BR: aside from me
BR: im my dave
BR: my dave is me
GT: i thought it might have been perfectcrime, since i have him, too, but his name starts with a 'p'
GT: you start with a 'b'.
BR: a p is just a turnways b
GT: i could not have missed that far, dumbass!
BR: youd be surprised
BR: letters are sneaky bitches
BR: they could be anywhere
BR: at any given time
GT: oh no!
GT: /looks at her letters suspiciously
GT: oh man, there is a p in there!
GT: what if it is really a b in disguise?
GT: or maybe a q?
GT: or a d?
BR: you never know dude
BR: bude
BR: puqe
BR: qube
GT: shit, bave!
GT: qave, they are here!
BR: please call me that forever
GT: and they are taking over!
GT: hahahaha!
GT: no qrodlem, pave.
BR: awesome
GT: oh man, it would really suck to be dyslexic and read that, i think.
BR: so not only are you fruit racist but you are pejudiced against dyslexic people too
BR: im learning so much about you im not sure i wanted to know egbert
GT: of course i am not!
GT: and i am not against fruits, either!
BR: you keep insisting that but theres something telling me otherwise
GT: dave, i will buy every colored fruit ever and make a giant smoothie and drink it as proof.
GT: actually, i might just do that anyway!
GT: that sounds great.
BR: every colored fruit
BR: sorry honeydew youre not invited
GT: it will be a delicious testament to my believe in pigmented equality for all fruits.
BR: neither are you lychee
GT: honeydew has a color!
GT: it's green, stupid!
BR: pasty ass motherfucking fruits not getting anywhere near this smoothie of color
BR: its green except its mostly white
GT: but it is still green!
GT: i did not say super saturated colored fruits!
GT: i said all the colors!
BR: ok fine honeydew can come
BR: lychees still not invited
BR: or dragon fruit
GT: they can come!
BR: theyre not colored
GT: yeah, they are!
BR: nope
BR: theyre white
GT: it counts!
BR: do you know what white is
GT: there is some brown webbing thing on it, sometimes!
GT: and i am counting white as a color.
GT: i am not going to let lychee be left out!
GT: or dragon fruit!
GT: all the fruits ever are invited!
GT: all of them!
BR: ok whatever you say
BR: sounds kind of gross though
BR: tomatos a fruit cant leave that out
GT: well, there are tomato juices, too!
BR: yeah tomato with like dragonfruit and strawberries and watermelon and shit
BR: sounds fucking
BR: horrible
GT: no, it will be the BEST smoothie ever.
GT: because it is all inclusive!
BR: you go ahead and make it
BR: count me out for taste tests
GT: no, dude, you have to drink it, too.
BR: lemon canteloupe prune shit
BR: why do i have to drink it youre the one with something to prove
GT: well, um, how do i know that you're not a fruit racist?
BR: excuse me
BR: what do you think youre accusing me of
GT: i mean, you seemed to be sincere in your belief for the equality of fruits!
GT: but i dunno, dude, the idea of an all-inclusive smoothie seems to gross you out!
BR: yeah but that doesnt mean i have to like the taste of all of them
GT: dave, i am really very disappointed in you.
GT: so disappointed.
BR: i respect all of their identities as fruits
BR: unlike some people
GT: i do!
GT: and i will drink this smoothie!
GT: and prove it to everyone!
BR: film it or no one would believe you
BR: actually i can just film it for you
GT: you're the photographer!
GT: yeah!
GT: lets do it!
BR: i want to make sure you get all the fruits anyway
BR: hey youd tell me if you got a girlfriend right
BR: i mean boyfriend
BR: whateverfriend
BR: notahomosexualfriend
GT: yeah, i would.
GT: and i need to, um.
GT: talk to you about that.
BR: oh
BR: ok
GT: um...
GT: dave...
GT: do...
GT: do you, um.
GT: do you like me?
GT: like...
GT: like like.
BR: say like one more time
GT: like.
BR: i
BR: figured it was pretty obvious
BR: but this is you were talking about here
GT: oh...
GT: yeah, everybody is telling me that.
BR: im not surprised
BR: it doesnt have to make shit weird or anything
GT: and, uh, i did not believe it, but grist dave kind of hammered it into me pretty hard for someone who does not have a hammer specibus.
BR: wow thats awesome thanks grist dave
GT: heeheehee, yeah, he is pretty great.
GT: and, um, so are you.
GT: i am sorry i never realized. :(
GT: bluh, i am a derp, aren't i...
BR: its not a big deal
BR: at the risk of wanting to jump out of the window for typing this
BR: i like that about you
BR: shit the locks stuck
GT: hahaha!
GT: even if they weren't, i would totally catch you with my wind powers.
GT: or you would land on your feet all ninja style.
BR: and then break every bone in both legs
GT: well, how high is the window, anyway?
GT: because it might just be on the same floor.
GT: like, the main floor, i mean.
BR: ill climb as high as i need to
GT: that would actually be pretty hilarious.
GT: pfff.
GT: ok, but how high is high?
GT: i mean, if it is like only two stories, that is not very high, and anybody could make that.
BR: high enough to incapacitate and if im lucky kill
GT: gosh, ok, tangent!
GT: bluuuuuuuuh.
GT: you are not allowed to jump out of windows!
BR: ok mom
GT: i am kind of your cross-dimensional mom, now that i think about it.
GT: since i did make you all in the lab, heeheehee.
BR: oh yeah
BR: way to make this even weirder
GT: but you were all so cute! you were probably on the pony, too.
BR: like having a thing for my best bro except as a girl wasnt awkward enough
BR: yes there was a pony
GT: so cuuuute!
BR: it was great
GT: ponies are pretty sweet. :)
BR: i was the fucking ponymaster
BR: neigh neigh motherfuckers
GT: hahaha, careful!
GT: if you tell rose, she might get jealous. :)
GT: even if she will never own up to it directly.
BR: yeah shed lose it
BR: especially at the part where the pony dies
BR: tragic
GT: D:
GT: why is the pony dying?
BR: it died
GT: oh, right.
GT: R.I.P. pony. :(
GT: wait, augh.
BR: next day though
BR: best brunch ive ever had
GT: ...
GT: dave.
GT: you did not eat the pony.
GT: tell me you did not eat the pony.
BR: i dont know man i lie to you a lot in game
BR: i dont think my conscience could take it
GT: dave, you cannot eat ponies!!!
GT: that is like killing unicorns!!!
BR: except not at all
BR: because unicorns dont fucking exist
GT: it is on the order of killing unicorns if they did and they might, somewhere!
BR: they dont
BR: also people eat ponies
GT: they could!
BR: thats a fact of life youll have to deal with egbert
BR: or they did before all the people and ponies died
GT: you can't make me!
BR: which was true before when people dying was a thing that stuck
GT: you are very right about that. :(
BR: dont worry i wont eat any of your talking pony friends
BR: especially not pinkie
GT: yeah, pinkie is so great!
BR: she is the best pony
GT: she is really very great!
GT: wait, no, augh!
GT: we need to get this feelings jam back in session!
BR: this is a feelings jam
BR: these are my deep feelings on ponies
GT: even if i really do like talking to you about everything ever.
GT: ok, your feelings on ponies are noted and awesome.
GT: i am recording them forever.
GT: with a magic quill.
BR: great
GT: if nothing else, the last thing the universe will remember if it collapses in on itself is that dave strider loves ponies, especially pinkie pie.
BR: thats the only thing the universe needs to remember
GT: i could not think of a better memory. :)
GT: er, except for the memory of talking about us again, because we keep getting sidetracked.
GT: pffft.
BR: yeah whoops
GT: it's ok.
GT: it is one of the reasons what i like about you. :)
BR: oh
BR: ok
GT: but...if you knew that i might not have caught on, why didn't you just tell me?
BR: yeah that conversation wouldve gone over awesome
BR: 'hey jane we should stop talking about your unboobs because it does weird things to my hormonal bundle of joy down south'
BR: 'augh, dave, what the hell!!!'
BR: and etc
GT: dave, jeez, i have boobs!
GT: and would you really have said it like that? i mean reaaaaaaally?
BR: word for word i had a script written out
BR: including your potential answers
GT: i want to see this script!
BR: that shits private why would you ask for that
GT: because it involves me and what i might say!
GT: wait.
GT: waaaait.
GT: waaaaaaaait.
GT: you do realize what you just did, right?
BR: what
BR: what did i do
GT: you wrote fanfiction!
BR: oh my god
GT: and not just not any fanfiction.
GT: self-insert fanfiction!!!!
GT: OH MY GOD!!!!!!
GT: AAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAJ!!!
BR: holy shit jane cant you consider this like a normal person
GT: and forget this?
GT: pfffffffffffffffffffffffft, not on your life!
BR: this was my big shitty confession youve seen a million brainmelting romcoms you should have this shit down
GT: ok, i am making a footnote under the ponies thing.
BR: great awesome
BR: spread your lies to the universe
BR: slander my good name
GT: your name is still pretty great, dave!
GT: hahahaha, oh man.
BR: except youre about to drag it through the mud
GT: i do not think there will be mud at the end of the universe.
BR: thats like saying hey this gold watch is still expensive after having a pony shit on it
GT: ewwwwwwwwwww!
BR: does it even count as a self insert fanfic if im already part of the universe
GT: yes.
BR: ok i know youre the fanfic expert here
BR: a weight has been lifted from my chest and suddenly i understand everything
GT: nah, that would be ross, but ok.
GT: and rose, i guess.
BR: i can really embrace my fanfic calling now
BR: i know this is what i was meant to do
GT: hahahaha, i will be sure to let rose know this wonderful news!
GT: she might even beta read for you.
GT: this is now a beautiful thing you two can share as siblings.
BR: i need the link for homesmut stat i have a feeling theres an impending torrent of dave/jane heading its way
GT: isn't it great?
GT: wait, whoa!
GT: daaaave!
BR: seriously what is it
BR: i know its out there somewhere
GT: pfffft.
GT: man, who is writing that?
BR: i wonder
BR: who could it be
BR: who could it possibly be
GT: i dunno!
GT: i am not sure i want to know!
GT: but, if i were writing it, i would write "And then Jane once again tried to bring things back to the original topic, eyebrow raised in suspicion that her companion was trying to dodge the topic like so many smuppet bullets."
BR: smuppet bullets
BR: why would you ever make me imagine a smuppet gun
GT: i had to think of something that you might really want to dodge!
GT: and it could be a normal gun, it just shoots smuppet bullets.
GT: but you can imagine a smuppet cannon if you want to, i guess.
BR: no thanks
BR: but i mean if youre into that kinda thing
BR: im the last guy wholl judge
GT: ok, if you do not want to imagine it, i guess we can get back on topic, then!
GT: dave, i will tie you down in your chair if that's what it takes!
BR: what if i told you that was my fetish
GT: uh.
GT: uh...
GT: um.
GT: bluh, no, strong mind, strong heart!
GT: i would be ok with that as long as we still talked about it!
BR: ok well its not but thanks for entertaining the idea
GT: oh, it isn't?
GT: uh, ok!
BR: i like that you apparently want to talk about my fetishes now though
GT: well, i would still be ok with it regardless.
GT: no!
GT: i mean, like, if you have them, that is um, totally fine.
GT: but.
GT: augh!
GT: this is another dodging tactic.
BR: youre catching on quicker
BR: this is so easy i barely have to say anything and you get distracted for me
GT: well, it is because you are a fun diverter.
GT: funverter!
GT: whatever, anyway!
GT: i am not going to let you do it this time, dude.
BR: knight of funverting
BR: ok good luck with that
GT: all your nefarious diversions will go up in smoke, because i am going to talk to you about this.
BR: go for it
GT: right!
GT: bluh, ok, what even got discussed? i almost do not remember!
GT: one sec.
GT: alright, but, um...
BR: hang on i gotta find my pants
GT: dave!!!
GT: goddammit, forget your pants!!
GT: dave, i...
GT: i really like you.
GT: um...
-- brokenRecord [BR] is now an idle chum! --
BR: woah ok
BR: pants retroactively forgotten
BR: i was going to talk about the anime shirt i found too but maybe later
BR: i guess you could say that was pretty bad
BR: ...
BR: ...
BR: ..................
BR: timing
BR:
GT: pfffft, hahahaha!
GT: dave that was so great!
BR: yeah
BR: what about vriska
GT: oh, um.
GT: uh, which one?
BR: which one
BR: the one you were playing love ninja with
BR: tossing heart shurikens and shit
GT: oh!
GT: sorry about that, bluh. :(
BR: that wasnt my question
GT: no, no, augh.
GT: i am still sorry because i wanted to talk to you about it first, but i guess i got ahead of myself.
GT: but...i like her too.
BR: yeah
GT: ...and vris, too.
BR: oh
BR: ok
BR: welp
GT: yeah.
BR: thats cool
GT: no, it isn't, i mean, it is, but.
GT: augh.
GT: i am forgetting how make those sounds with my lips. or i guess with my fingers.
BR: what
GT: words, bluh.
BR: oh those things
BR: im not a fan
GT: ok, well, i will try to be fans enough for the both of us. with t-shirts and flags and everything, eheehee...
GT: but, um.
BR: but what
GT: maybe it is selfish for me to want to have all my gushers and eat them too, but i do.
BR: hahaha
BR: remember when you were asking about troll threesomes
BR: suddenly so ironic
BR: you sure you want all of bettys gushers
GT: auuuuuugh!!!
GT: also, man, this is so different.
GT: because that was a fivesome!!
GT: and this is only four!!
GT: it is totally different!
BR: wow ok
BR: youre proposing a foursome
BR: unironically
GT: no!
GT: i mean.
GT: it would be nice, i can't lie, but...dave, i am not expecting that of you at all.
GT: that would not be fair.
GT: that would be so unfair!
GT: i cannot ask you to like someone for me.
GT: i am still trying to figure out feelings, but i know that much about them. they do not work like that.
BR: ok im gonna put on the cloak of sincerity over here
BR: straight up
GT: ok.
BR: i seriously like you jane
BR: a lot
GT: oh...
BR: i said it didnt have to be weird but it kind of already is
BR: for me anyway
BR: im not gonna stop hating spidertrolls any time soon
BR: thats still a thing
BR: theyre both vriskas so they wont care just have your troll threesome with them
BR: itll be awesome jello wrestling will probably be involved
BR: fuck
BR: this shitty game isnt helping
BR: i think my brain just decided to flipturn upside down
BR: for good
BR: and id like to take a minute
BR: just sit right there
BR: to tell you how i became the prince of the town called
BR: shitchups
BR: that was pretty weak
GT: i am sorry, dave. :(
GT: bluh, this is all my fault.
BR: no its not thats stupid
GT: i just...maybe if i was not so stupid and pathetic and could pick, or something!!
GT: but you all make me really happy, and i just, i could not stand the thought of hurting any one of you ever. :(
GT: maybe that is more for my sake than it is for your guys, i dont know, i already said that i am really very selfish for wanting this...
BR: i dont know if i prefer this or if you just rejected me
GT: i...
GT: i really am the worst.
BR: that was dumb to say
BR: no youre not
BR: this is dumb
GT: no, i am.
GT: i am so sorry, dave.
BR: fuck
GT: i just. i do not know what i was thinking with this, this was a terrible idea i.
BR: i totally fucked this up
GT: i'm sorry.
GT: no, you didn't!! i am being so greedy and selfish and stupid and i have ruined everything and i am so so so so sorry. fuck me! oh my god.
-- gambitTriumphant [GT] ceased pestering brokenRecord [BR] at 00:50 --
BR: wait dont
BR: do that
BR: jane
BR: come on
BR: jane come on
BR: fuck
-- gambitTriumphant [GT] ceased pestering brokenRecord [BR] at 18:26 --
-- gambitTriumphant [GT] changed their mood to CHUMMY
--
BR: wow ok
-- gambitTriumphant [GT] began pestering brokenRecord [BR] at 18:26 --
GT: oops!
BR: were you trying to click my dave
BR: and missed or what
GT: what?
GT: no!
GT: i was trying to click you!
GT: who is your davea, anyway?
BR: nevermind i dont have one
BR: aside from me
BR: im my dave
BR: my dave is me
GT: i thought it might have been perfectcrime, since i have him, too, but his name starts with a 'p'
GT: you start with a 'b'.
BR: a p is just a turnways b
GT: i could not have missed that far, dumbass!
BR: youd be surprised
BR: letters are sneaky bitches
BR: they could be anywhere
BR: at any given time
GT: oh no!
GT: /looks at her letters suspiciously
GT: oh man, there is a p in there!
GT: what if it is really a b in disguise?
GT: or maybe a q?
GT: or a d?
BR: you never know dude
BR: bude
BR: puqe
BR: qube
GT: shit, bave!
GT: qave, they are here!
BR: please call me that forever
GT: and they are taking over!
GT: hahahaha!
GT: no qrodlem, pave.
BR: awesome
GT: oh man, it would really suck to be dyslexic and read that, i think.
BR: so not only are you fruit racist but you are pejudiced against dyslexic people too
BR: im learning so much about you im not sure i wanted to know egbert
GT: of course i am not!
GT: and i am not against fruits, either!
BR: you keep insisting that but theres something telling me otherwise
GT: dave, i will buy every colored fruit ever and make a giant smoothie and drink it as proof.
GT: actually, i might just do that anyway!
GT: that sounds great.
BR: every colored fruit
BR: sorry honeydew youre not invited
GT: it will be a delicious testament to my believe in pigmented equality for all fruits.
BR: neither are you lychee
GT: honeydew has a color!
GT: it's green, stupid!
BR: pasty ass motherfucking fruits not getting anywhere near this smoothie of color
BR: its green except its mostly white
GT: but it is still green!
GT: i did not say super saturated colored fruits!
GT: i said all the colors!
BR: ok fine honeydew can come
BR: lychees still not invited
BR: or dragon fruit
GT: they can come!
BR: theyre not colored
GT: yeah, they are!
BR: nope
BR: theyre white
GT: it counts!
BR: do you know what white is
GT: there is some brown webbing thing on it, sometimes!
GT: and i am counting white as a color.
GT: i am not going to let lychee be left out!
GT: or dragon fruit!
GT: all the fruits ever are invited!
GT: all of them!
BR: ok whatever you say
BR: sounds kind of gross though
BR: tomatos a fruit cant leave that out
GT: well, there are tomato juices, too!
BR: yeah tomato with like dragonfruit and strawberries and watermelon and shit
BR: sounds fucking
BR: horrible
GT: no, it will be the BEST smoothie ever.
GT: because it is all inclusive!
BR: you go ahead and make it
BR: count me out for taste tests
GT: no, dude, you have to drink it, too.
BR: lemon canteloupe prune shit
BR: why do i have to drink it youre the one with something to prove
GT: well, um, how do i know that you're not a fruit racist?
BR: excuse me
BR: what do you think youre accusing me of
GT: i mean, you seemed to be sincere in your belief for the equality of fruits!
GT: but i dunno, dude, the idea of an all-inclusive smoothie seems to gross you out!
BR: yeah but that doesnt mean i have to like the taste of all of them
GT: dave, i am really very disappointed in you.
GT: so disappointed.
BR: i respect all of their identities as fruits
BR: unlike some people
GT: i do!
GT: and i will drink this smoothie!
GT: and prove it to everyone!
BR: film it or no one would believe you
BR: actually i can just film it for you
GT: you're the photographer!
GT: yeah!
GT: lets do it!
BR: i want to make sure you get all the fruits anyway
BR: hey youd tell me if you got a girlfriend right
BR: i mean boyfriend
BR: whateverfriend
BR: notahomosexualfriend
GT: yeah, i would.
GT: and i need to, um.
GT: talk to you about that.
BR: oh
BR: ok
GT: um...
GT: dave...
GT: do...
GT: do you, um.
GT: do you like me?
GT: like...
GT: like like.
BR: say like one more time
GT: like.
BR: i
BR: figured it was pretty obvious
BR: but this is you were talking about here
GT: oh...
GT: yeah, everybody is telling me that.
BR: im not surprised
BR: it doesnt have to make shit weird or anything
GT: and, uh, i did not believe it, but grist dave kind of hammered it into me pretty hard for someone who does not have a hammer specibus.
BR: wow thats awesome thanks grist dave
GT: heeheehee, yeah, he is pretty great.
GT: and, um, so are you.
GT: i am sorry i never realized. :(
GT: bluh, i am a derp, aren't i...
BR: its not a big deal
BR: at the risk of wanting to jump out of the window for typing this
BR: i like that about you
BR: shit the locks stuck
GT: hahaha!
GT: even if they weren't, i would totally catch you with my wind powers.
GT: or you would land on your feet all ninja style.
BR: and then break every bone in both legs
GT: well, how high is the window, anyway?
GT: because it might just be on the same floor.
GT: like, the main floor, i mean.
BR: ill climb as high as i need to
GT: that would actually be pretty hilarious.
GT: pfff.
GT: ok, but how high is high?
GT: i mean, if it is like only two stories, that is not very high, and anybody could make that.
BR: high enough to incapacitate and if im lucky kill
GT: gosh, ok, tangent!
GT: bluuuuuuuuh.
GT: you are not allowed to jump out of windows!
BR: ok mom
GT: i am kind of your cross-dimensional mom, now that i think about it.
GT: since i did make you all in the lab, heeheehee.
BR: oh yeah
BR: way to make this even weirder
GT: but you were all so cute! you were probably on the pony, too.
BR: like having a thing for my best bro except as a girl wasnt awkward enough
BR: yes there was a pony
GT: so cuuuute!
BR: it was great
GT: ponies are pretty sweet. :)
BR: i was the fucking ponymaster
BR: neigh neigh motherfuckers
GT: hahaha, careful!
GT: if you tell rose, she might get jealous. :)
GT: even if she will never own up to it directly.
BR: yeah shed lose it
BR: especially at the part where the pony dies
BR: tragic
GT: D:
GT: why is the pony dying?
BR: it died
GT: oh, right.
GT: R.I.P. pony. :(
GT: wait, augh.
BR: next day though
BR: best brunch ive ever had
GT: ...
GT: dave.
GT: you did not eat the pony.
GT: tell me you did not eat the pony.
BR: i dont know man i lie to you a lot in game
BR: i dont think my conscience could take it
GT: dave, you cannot eat ponies!!!
GT: that is like killing unicorns!!!
BR: except not at all
BR: because unicorns dont fucking exist
GT: it is on the order of killing unicorns if they did and they might, somewhere!
BR: they dont
BR: also people eat ponies
GT: they could!
BR: thats a fact of life youll have to deal with egbert
BR: or they did before all the people and ponies died
GT: you can't make me!
BR: which was true before when people dying was a thing that stuck
GT: you are very right about that. :(
BR: dont worry i wont eat any of your talking pony friends
BR: especially not pinkie
GT: yeah, pinkie is so great!
BR: she is the best pony
GT: she is really very great!
GT: wait, no, augh!
GT: we need to get this feelings jam back in session!
BR: this is a feelings jam
BR: these are my deep feelings on ponies
GT: even if i really do like talking to you about everything ever.
GT: ok, your feelings on ponies are noted and awesome.
GT: i am recording them forever.
GT: with a magic quill.
BR: great
GT: if nothing else, the last thing the universe will remember if it collapses in on itself is that dave strider loves ponies, especially pinkie pie.
BR: thats the only thing the universe needs to remember
GT: i could not think of a better memory. :)
GT: er, except for the memory of talking about us again, because we keep getting sidetracked.
GT: pffft.
BR: yeah whoops
GT: it's ok.
GT: it is one of the reasons what i like about you. :)
BR: oh
BR: ok
GT: but...if you knew that i might not have caught on, why didn't you just tell me?
BR: yeah that conversation wouldve gone over awesome
BR: 'hey jane we should stop talking about your unboobs because it does weird things to my hormonal bundle of joy down south'
BR: 'augh, dave, what the hell!!!'
BR: and etc
GT: dave, jeez, i have boobs!
GT: and would you really have said it like that? i mean reaaaaaaally?
BR: word for word i had a script written out
BR: including your potential answers
GT: i want to see this script!
BR: that shits private why would you ask for that
GT: because it involves me and what i might say!
GT: wait.
GT: waaaait.
GT: waaaaaaaait.
GT: you do realize what you just did, right?
BR: what
BR: what did i do
GT: you wrote fanfiction!
BR: oh my god
GT: and not just not any fanfiction.
GT: self-insert fanfiction!!!!
GT: OH MY GOD!!!!!!
GT: AAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAJ!!!
BR: holy shit jane cant you consider this like a normal person
GT: and forget this?
GT: pfffffffffffffffffffffffft, not on your life!
BR: this was my big shitty confession youve seen a million brainmelting romcoms you should have this shit down
GT: ok, i am making a footnote under the ponies thing.
BR: great awesome
BR: spread your lies to the universe
BR: slander my good name
GT: your name is still pretty great, dave!
GT: hahahaha, oh man.
BR: except youre about to drag it through the mud
GT: i do not think there will be mud at the end of the universe.
BR: thats like saying hey this gold watch is still expensive after having a pony shit on it
GT: ewwwwwwwwwww!
BR: does it even count as a self insert fanfic if im already part of the universe
GT: yes.
BR: ok i know youre the fanfic expert here
BR: a weight has been lifted from my chest and suddenly i understand everything
GT: nah, that would be ross, but ok.
GT: and rose, i guess.
BR: i can really embrace my fanfic calling now
BR: i know this is what i was meant to do
GT: hahahaha, i will be sure to let rose know this wonderful news!
GT: she might even beta read for you.
GT: this is now a beautiful thing you two can share as siblings.
BR: i need the link for homesmut stat i have a feeling theres an impending torrent of dave/jane heading its way
GT: isn't it great?
GT: wait, whoa!
GT: daaaave!
BR: seriously what is it
BR: i know its out there somewhere
GT: pfffft.
GT: man, who is writing that?
BR: i wonder
BR: who could it be
BR: who could it possibly be
GT: i dunno!
GT: i am not sure i want to know!
GT: but, if i were writing it, i would write "And then Jane once again tried to bring things back to the original topic, eyebrow raised in suspicion that her companion was trying to dodge the topic like so many smuppet bullets."
BR: smuppet bullets
BR: why would you ever make me imagine a smuppet gun
GT: i had to think of something that you might really want to dodge!
GT: and it could be a normal gun, it just shoots smuppet bullets.
GT: but you can imagine a smuppet cannon if you want to, i guess.
BR: no thanks
BR: but i mean if youre into that kinda thing
BR: im the last guy wholl judge
GT: ok, if you do not want to imagine it, i guess we can get back on topic, then!
GT: dave, i will tie you down in your chair if that's what it takes!
BR: what if i told you that was my fetish
GT: uh.
GT: uh...
GT: um.
GT: bluh, no, strong mind, strong heart!
GT: i would be ok with that as long as we still talked about it!
BR: ok well its not but thanks for entertaining the idea
GT: oh, it isn't?
GT: uh, ok!
BR: i like that you apparently want to talk about my fetishes now though
GT: well, i would still be ok with it regardless.
GT: no!
GT: i mean, like, if you have them, that is um, totally fine.
GT: but.
GT: augh!
GT: this is another dodging tactic.
BR: youre catching on quicker
BR: this is so easy i barely have to say anything and you get distracted for me
GT: well, it is because you are a fun diverter.
GT: funverter!
GT: whatever, anyway!
GT: i am not going to let you do it this time, dude.
BR: knight of funverting
BR: ok good luck with that
GT: all your nefarious diversions will go up in smoke, because i am going to talk to you about this.
BR: go for it
GT: right!
GT: bluh, ok, what even got discussed? i almost do not remember!
GT: one sec.
GT: alright, but, um...
BR: hang on i gotta find my pants
GT: dave!!!
GT: goddammit, forget your pants!!
GT: dave, i...
GT: i really like you.
GT: um...
-- brokenRecord [BR] is now an idle chum! --
BR: woah ok
BR: pants retroactively forgotten
BR: i was going to talk about the anime shirt i found too but maybe later
BR: i guess you could say that was pretty bad
BR: ...
BR: ...
BR: ..................
BR: timing
BR:
GT: pfffft, hahahaha!
GT: dave that was so great!
BR: yeah
BR: what about vriska
GT: oh, um.
GT: uh, which one?
BR: which one
BR: the one you were playing love ninja with
BR: tossing heart shurikens and shit
GT: oh!
GT: sorry about that, bluh. :(
BR: that wasnt my question
GT: no, no, augh.
GT: i am still sorry because i wanted to talk to you about it first, but i guess i got ahead of myself.
GT: but...i like her too.
BR: yeah
GT: ...and vris, too.
BR: oh
BR: ok
BR: welp
GT: yeah.
BR: thats cool
GT: no, it isn't, i mean, it is, but.
GT: augh.
GT: i am forgetting how make those sounds with my lips. or i guess with my fingers.
BR: what
GT: words, bluh.
BR: oh those things
BR: im not a fan
GT: ok, well, i will try to be fans enough for the both of us. with t-shirts and flags and everything, eheehee...
GT: but, um.
BR: but what
GT: maybe it is selfish for me to want to have all my gushers and eat them too, but i do.
BR: hahaha
BR: remember when you were asking about troll threesomes
BR: suddenly so ironic
BR: you sure you want all of bettys gushers
GT: auuuuuugh!!!
GT: also, man, this is so different.
GT: because that was a fivesome!!
GT: and this is only four!!
GT: it is totally different!
BR: wow ok
BR: youre proposing a foursome
BR: unironically
GT: no!
GT: i mean.
GT: it would be nice, i can't lie, but...dave, i am not expecting that of you at all.
GT: that would not be fair.
GT: that would be so unfair!
GT: i cannot ask you to like someone for me.
GT: i am still trying to figure out feelings, but i know that much about them. they do not work like that.
BR: ok im gonna put on the cloak of sincerity over here
BR: straight up
GT: ok.
BR: i seriously like you jane
BR: a lot
GT: oh...
BR: i said it didnt have to be weird but it kind of already is
BR: for me anyway
BR: im not gonna stop hating spidertrolls any time soon
BR: thats still a thing
BR: theyre both vriskas so they wont care just have your troll threesome with them
BR: itll be awesome jello wrestling will probably be involved
BR: fuck
BR: this shitty game isnt helping
BR: i think my brain just decided to flipturn upside down
BR: for good
BR: and id like to take a minute
BR: just sit right there
BR: to tell you how i became the prince of the town called
BR: shitchups
BR: that was pretty weak
GT: i am sorry, dave. :(
GT: bluh, this is all my fault.
BR: no its not thats stupid
GT: i just...maybe if i was not so stupid and pathetic and could pick, or something!!
GT: but you all make me really happy, and i just, i could not stand the thought of hurting any one of you ever. :(
GT: maybe that is more for my sake than it is for your guys, i dont know, i already said that i am really very selfish for wanting this...
BR: i dont know if i prefer this or if you just rejected me
GT: i...
GT: i really am the worst.
BR: that was dumb to say
BR: no youre not
BR: this is dumb
GT: no, i am.
GT: i am so sorry, dave.
BR: fuck
GT: i just. i do not know what i was thinking with this, this was a terrible idea i.
BR: i totally fucked this up
GT: i'm sorry.
GT: no, you didn't!! i am being so greedy and selfish and stupid and i have ruined everything and i am so so so so sorry. fuck me! oh my god.
-- gambitTriumphant [GT] ceased pestering brokenRecord [BR] at 00:50 --
BR: wait dont
BR: do that
BR: jane
BR: come on
BR: jane come on
BR: fuck