(no subject)
I have been all over the place (emotionally) lately.
The whole Virginia Tech thing has forced me to bite off all my nails. The night it happened I was watching the news and I was the only one up in my house and I started shaking. I hate hearing about shootings. Guns scare me. And it's like..I don't even know if I could kill someone even if they were hurting me. How could you kill over 30 people then yourself? And people say he had a lot of problems and he probably a sociopath, but he was still human. And then the media kills me. Leave the victim's families alone. Don't point fingers, either. Also, it's weird how most people don't really seem to care about it.
I have been happy too though. Going to the mall and sleep overs with Melanie are good. We make good cookies and eat frozen yogurt and make fun of each other way too much. But it's good. Buying clothes is good. Clothes that don't fit are evil, though.
On 4/20 I hung out with my Grandma. LOL. No, but seriously that whole day I was really worried about people. Turns out most people I know didn't smoke weed but a lot of people were planning on it. I ended up doing a bunch of research on marijuana and alcohol and the effect they have on your brain/body. It was scary, but calming. Not calming because like it wasn't a big deal but calming because I reassured myself why I don't wanna get involved with it. But anyway back to hanging out with my Grandma. I feel really weird putting it into words a bunch of people will read, but I really love my grandma. It's really sad to me that even if she sees me graduate, she might not see me get married, or have kids, or be successful. Shes one of the people who worries about me the most and I really really hope she gets to see me fully grown up.
It's the last day of vacation and over vacation I realized I don't like high school. Now many people are like "uhmm obviously?" but yah. I hate all the immature people who are like "i'M To0 GroWnN Ta GetZ InV0lvEd Wid diS HiGh ScEwL ShIzZ" when all they do is get invovled in pathetic drama. I am sick of being forced to learn things I don't need and don't care about. I try to "choose my battles wisely" or whatever but I am sick of having all this pent up anger. I cant wait for summer and I think thats really gonna change my friends (again). I don't like the idea of "school friends"; people you only talk to in school. I hope the seniors I talk to really like college and can tell me how good it is.
Ehh I'm done writing for now.
The whole Virginia Tech thing has forced me to bite off all my nails. The night it happened I was watching the news and I was the only one up in my house and I started shaking. I hate hearing about shootings. Guns scare me. And it's like..I don't even know if I could kill someone even if they were hurting me. How could you kill over 30 people then yourself? And people say he had a lot of problems and he probably a sociopath, but he was still human. And then the media kills me. Leave the victim's families alone. Don't point fingers, either. Also, it's weird how most people don't really seem to care about it.
I have been happy too though. Going to the mall and sleep overs with Melanie are good. We make good cookies and eat frozen yogurt and make fun of each other way too much. But it's good. Buying clothes is good. Clothes that don't fit are evil, though.
On 4/20 I hung out with my Grandma. LOL. No, but seriously that whole day I was really worried about people. Turns out most people I know didn't smoke weed but a lot of people were planning on it. I ended up doing a bunch of research on marijuana and alcohol and the effect they have on your brain/body. It was scary, but calming. Not calming because like it wasn't a big deal but calming because I reassured myself why I don't wanna get involved with it. But anyway back to hanging out with my Grandma. I feel really weird putting it into words a bunch of people will read, but I really love my grandma. It's really sad to me that even if she sees me graduate, she might not see me get married, or have kids, or be successful. Shes one of the people who worries about me the most and I really really hope she gets to see me fully grown up.
It's the last day of vacation and over vacation I realized I don't like high school. Now many people are like "uhmm obviously?" but yah. I hate all the immature people who are like "i'M To0 GroWnN Ta GetZ InV0lvEd Wid diS HiGh ScEwL ShIzZ" when all they do is get invovled in pathetic drama. I am sick of being forced to learn things I don't need and don't care about. I try to "choose my battles wisely" or whatever but I am sick of having all this pent up anger. I cant wait for summer and I think thats really gonna change my friends (again). I don't like the idea of "school friends"; people you only talk to in school. I hope the seniors I talk to really like college and can tell me how good it is.
Ehh I'm done writing for now.