This week God has taught me a lot-some things that I was expecting…: keeplookingup10

keeplookingup10

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Jul 17, 2005 18:52

This week God has taught me a lot-some things that I was expecting God to teach me and some that I wasn't. I learned a lot about myself and accepting who I am as how God made me.God taught me that I may be shy, I can't tell people my true feelings b/c I fear rejection, I hold things in, I can't make decisions b/c I don't want to offend anybody, I am not outgoing... but he made me that way for a purpose. He taught me so much through my kids this week about myself and about the world around me. One kid I had was born while his mom was on crack, has been in like 6 or 7 foster homes already and he's only 3. Apparently somewhere along the way he has been beaten b/c I pulled out a beach ball to blow up and he asked if I was going to beat him.This kid just really showed me the world around me and how unperfect it is and how bad life can be sometimes. He made my problems look easy. so no matter how bad I think I have it, there will always be people out there who have it worse than I do. One girl in my class was always so joyful. I just knew that if she could just come to Christ, she could do amazing things. This one little boy in my class reminded me so much of myself. He was quiet and reserved but he just yearned for attention. Whenever I even looked at him, he would just grin from ear to ear. His smile just warmed my heart. My favorite little girl was a little quiet at first just like her brother(the boy I was just talking about) but once you got to know her and invested some time in her life, she just completely opened up to you and was such a chatterbox. All these kids in my class just wanted attention and to feel they were loved. God has just shown me this week that He alone is sovereign and knows His plan for our lives. He has answered so many deep, ongoing prayers in my life this week- in totally different ways than I could ever have imagined. He put me through a lot of hurt and pain to accomplish His will for me life, but in the end it is great. Many times I don't even know what I want in life- I just don't know. That makes me so happy that I don't have to know b/c I know that God's will is perfect and He is the only one who truly knows what I desire and need. I'm glad that my life is in his hands and not my own. There are still stuff I am struggling with and suffering through but this week God has taught me a lot about suffereing. When I am suffering, he is working in my life to produce greater things. My ultimate aim in life is to bring glory to God so I just start praising Him for my problems and limitations in life and see it as an opportunity to display his glory in my life. Also, suffering allows us to learn that God us the only one who can help us and it makes us truly realize that we need to rest in Him alone.

"God knew that by His grace people and circumstances change, and that the prayer of my heart would be answered-but in a totally different way than I had asked."

"So often our primary ambition is to escape pain or to feel good or be delivered from a problem when we need to keep our focus on the big picture of what God is doing in our lives through that pain or problem. Our primary aim must be to glorify God, not to be healed or to be healthy or to be happy."

"When was the last time you wept into your pillow at night, thinking no one cared? Is the pain so deep and your hurt so great, that you cry night after night? Did you know that Jesus weeps with you? Did you know that He puts all your tears in a bottle because they are precious to Him?"

So I have felt that I have been called to work with preschoolers, but a lot of times I question that. I taught preschoolers last year in Chicago and this year in Philly. Sometimes during the week I wish I could work with older kids so I could feel I am actually making a difference in these kids' lives and maybe even lead one to Christ. Then I realize how selfish that is. There need to be people out there who will plant the seed and not have to reap the benefits of that planted seed. Time and time again He shows me that preschoolers are where my heart is and who he wants me to work with for the rest of my life.

a few side notes here....

thank you for all the people who prayed for my AP History exam this past spring, I did not fail praise the Lord!

also, I get to go to Ashton's party!