We broke up, then we got back together, yesterday was the end of it.
It's over, for good.
I don't quite know how to put my pain into words...I guess I can't really.
It seems as though everyone but me could see that our relationship was beginning to take a turn for the worst, and it was time for the relationship to end, but I still don't see it that way. This is probably why I still begged for him not to leave me, despite all the shit that had just happened.
He was my first love in 6th grade, and the person I love to this day, and it's so hard to let go, but I must.
I don't feel like doing much of anything at all, I'm just not motivated right now.
I guess I just feel like if I could sleep for a month, I could wake up and the pain would be gone, but that just isn't how things work.
I spent a year and a half of my life devoted to him, loving him, and now I feel lost and betrayed. I don't even feel like I fit into my own skin- I've never felt this way before.
Maybe it's wrong, but I don't remember how to be me without Brian, which may be why I'm having such an incredibly rough time with this.
It's not like before with other relationships where I would just get back on my feet, and find myself someone better. I just don't want anyone else right now- I don't feel like there is anyone better for me out there.Maybe I'll feel different tomorrow, but tonight, all I feel is the pain in my heart, and the tears running down my cheeks.
I don't feel like doing much of anything at all besides laying in bed and crying, and oddly enough i don't feel like leaving my house.
heh.
"My heart is broken, I'm lying here, my thoughts are choking on you my dear."
I don't quite know how to put my pain into words...I guess I can't really.
It seems as though everyone but me could see that our relationship was beginning to take a turn for the worst, and it was time for the relationship to end, but I still don't see it that way. This is probably why I still begged for him not to leave me, despite all the shit that had just happened.
He was my first love in 6th grade, and the person I love to this day, and it's so hard to let go, but I must.
I don't feel like doing much of anything at all, I'm just not motivated right now.
I guess I just feel like if I could sleep for a month, I could wake up and the pain would be gone, but that just isn't how things work.
I spent a year and a half of my life devoted to him, loving him, and now I feel lost and betrayed. I don't even feel like I fit into my own skin- I've never felt this way before.
Maybe it's wrong, but I don't remember how to be me without Brian, which may be why I'm having such an incredibly rough time with this.
It's not like before with other relationships where I would just get back on my feet, and find myself someone better. I just don't want anyone else right now- I don't feel like there is anyone better for me out there.Maybe I'll feel different tomorrow, but tonight, all I feel is the pain in my heart, and the tears running down my cheeks.
I don't feel like doing much of anything at all besides laying in bed and crying, and oddly enough i don't feel like leaving my house.
heh.
"My heart is broken, I'm lying here, my thoughts are choking on you my dear."