Open Hiatus From internet at Large
Hey gang. I wanted to put this up so it's known to all of you (and a tag to the hiatus post will follow).
I'm going to take an extended hiatus from the game. I wish I could give a time frame, but honestly, I really can't right now. To those that are aware, my wife had to undergo surgery new years eve to put her dislocated hip back into socket. The surgery itself wasn't terribly traumatic, but there were additional stresses (emotional/mental/physical) that took place during the weekend that I didn't really publicize to everyone that are... just not good.
I need to focus on getting things together at home and making sure Tish's recovery and health (mentally and physically) are on track.
For those that might be interested in getting the full 411, I included it all here under a cut, plurk fashion with Stellar.
Almabutt
Tish was in an accident back in September of 2004
Almabutt
said accident killed her then husband and the life of her unborn baby
Almabutt
Accident happened when hubby hit a tree going 55 because he fell asleep
Almabutt
Tish is UNDERSTANDABLY traumatized by this
Almabutt
She almost died, Stellar
Almabutt
He body quit making blood, because she was so damaged
Almabutt
Her left his was broken in 7 places
Almabutt
her pelvis broke clean through on the right in two places
KnightOfSpace
omg
Almabutt
her left femur ball snapped off
Almabutt
right hip dislocated
Almabutt
It took them 10 days to even get her into surgery
Almabutt
Told she was never going to walk again
Almabutt
During the initial repair, they failed to restore blood flow to the femur ball
Almabutt
she was getting into the shower and it crushed inside her leg
Almabutt
at which point they went in and completely removed the hip and put in a spacer.
Almabutt
She went until end of '05 before they finally put in the fake hip
Almabutt
january 06 her hip dislocated and was put back in
Almabutt
fine since then
Almabutt
she was getting oranges and lifted her leg and turned wrong and it popped right out
Almabutt
that's what happened this time
Almabutt
a few things just done wrong and a weird instance and out it went
Almabutt
but last dislocation there was basically no pain for an hour
Almabutt
this time, it was immediate and terrible
Almabutt
she woke me up screaming
Almabutt
The femur ball had actually dislocated and popped in between a tendon and muscle
Almabutt
and was caught
Almabutt
so there was immediate pain
Almabutt
They didn't know this at the time, and nor did we
Almabutt
So, we were terrified that the bone had broken
Almabutt
they xrayed and thank god it was just dislocated
Almabutt
but you know the emotional trauma is there
KnightOfSpace
I'm so sorry. I have no idea what to say but just... fffff :-(
Almabutt
/nods and hugs S'ok
KnightOfSpace
/hugs
Almabutt
So... we've got that drama of her being hurt and not knowing how bad
Almabutt
Her mom is with me in the er
Almabutt
and her brother is milling around outside
Almabutt
because he doesn't' want to be near the sick people
Almabutt
:|
Almabutt
Surgery is scheduled and takes twice as long as we'd been told it would
Almabutt
But we're trying to stay calm
Almabutt
becasue the load in and out take the longest
Almabutt
Find out they couldn't simply pull it back into place
Almabutt
they had to knock her out and open her up
Almabutt
Now, this is like, the 6th surgery she's been put under for
Almabutt
This kinda shit scares her, because there's always the chance of her not waking up
Almabutt
Before they bring her in, she's telling me that I am not to give our daughter to her mom
Almabutt
that I'm to raise her with mom in her life
Almabutt
Cue me freaking out silently
Almabutt
So hard
Almabutt
Because wtf, I cannot do this without her.
Almabutt
doctor comes back and told us why it took so long
Almabutt
and that they had to cut her open
Almabutt
That because of this her range of motion would likely increase
Almabutt
so, like u said, silver lining
Almabutt
and she was able to lift her leg higher than she ever had just 4 hours after surgery
Almabutt
well, higher since the initial accident
KnightOfSpace
Well at least that is a plus, yeah.
KnightOfSpace
Or a potential plus
Almabutt
/nods
Almabutt
So, we're in recovery now
Almabutt
Taking it easy and just.. breathing a bit
Almabutt
Being positive and telling her he did great and that the surgery was minor
Almabutt
they operated through a scar already there, so no additional scars
Almabutt
She's JUST fallen asleep and is sleeping heavy
Almabutt
Nephew has been helping us at home... no one has really slept at all... tensions are high
Almabutt
tish's mom (who raised the nephew) and nephew's dad are apparently pissed that he's helping
Almabutt
and tell him his priorities are wrong
Almabutt
...
Almabutt
So, he was going to be cool and bring me food to the hospital
Almabutt
his dad, who demands he be taken care of before anyone else, flips his shit because he wanted food first
Almabutt
and not just food, but chewing tobacco
Almabutt
both of which he'd asked me to buy for him earlier that same day. WHILE tish was in surgery
Almabutt
...
Almabutt
So... nephew's dad flips his shit and comes to the hospital with nephew
Almabutt
makes a fucking scene in tish's hospital room
Almabutt
Yelling and telling myself and ronda (our roomie) that we're both to leave and let tish get her rest
KnightOfSpace
:-( I hope he simmers down.
KnightOfSpace
That's... Not really cool.
KnightOfSpace
You both are so strong to have made it through all this without everything unraveling.
KnightOfSpace
Wow. Didn't see second bit
KnightOfSpace
Dude
Almabutt
Yeah
KnightOfSpace
Okay yeah. Apparently he didn't simmer down :|
Almabutt
In his head he thinks he's doing the right thing... but he was PSYCHO
Almabutt
seriously
Almabutt
Like, was was going to get into a fist fight with nephew for stepping in front to defend us
Almabutt
He woke tish up from a sound sleep, screaming
Almabutt
and tish told him to leave and started to call for the nurse and then he stormed off
Almabutt
he has since, because of this, disowned her from his life
Almabutt
Becasue he was in the wrong, she's being punished
Almabutt
and mom has always enabled him
Almabutt
and though she says he's in the wrong, she's still kind of siding with him
KnightOfSpace
wtfh
Almabutt
Tish's other brother... never came to the hospital... because he, and i quote, 'didn't want to deal with the drama'
Almabutt
Tish was asking for him, stellar
Almabutt
she wanted him there
Almabutt
and he refused to come
Almabutt
He hasn't talked to her since before christmas
Almabutt
due to him having problems with her being with me
Almabutt
She basically lost both of her brothers... and didn't do anything to deserve it
Almabutt
She wasn't in the wrong at all.
Almabutt
And her mom is now doing this hige thing, where she wants to make changes to her life... she's tired of drama and tension
Almabutt
and is going to basically be cutting off our family
Almabutt
and is talking about moving
KnightOfSpace
... Make changes to Tish's life or her own?
Almabutt
And this mostly came from people being tense and tired and exhausted and upset
Almabutt
her own life
Almabutt
all of this is happening while tish in in the hospital and i'm in there with her
Almabutt
her mom came to see her for about 45 minutes one day
Almabutt
not another time
Almabutt
didn't call her
Almabutt
barely stayed on the phone when tish called her
Almabutt
It's just ... it's toxic and terrible
Almabutt
and we don't understand
Almabutt
But she is basically not going to help tish during recovery
Almabutt
unless she changes her mind, again
Almabutt
tish's psycho brother says he wants nothing to do with us
Almabutt
becasue we've wronged him so terribly
KnightOfSpace
As awful as it sounds, that's probably better for you both atm, if his behavior's anything to go on
KnightOfSpace
You guys don't need that
Almabutt
/nods I agree whole heartedly
Almabutt
We've always been kind of distant with him and this is his choice, so whatever
Almabutt
but with her mom... tish's mom is her best friend
Almabutt
and lia's best friend
Almabutt
*lila
Almabutt
So this could be pretty cutting
Almabutt
But it will be her choice
Almabutt
and we're not going to beg her for anything
Almabutt
we're going to do what we need to do
Almabutt
and if that's without tish's family then so be it
Almabutt
My family was there when this happened.. I had aunts calling to check on us and my folks and siblings
Almabutt
tish said she was overwhelmed at how loved and accepted they made her feel
Almabutt
shakes head
Almabutt
A parent should never make their child feel unwanted or strained like this
Almabutt
The whole thing is just... so fucked up
Almabutt
and tish is basically getting the blame for it... and she didn't DO anything
KnightOfSpace
No, this exactly.
KnightOfSpace
I can understand not wanting tension and drama, but children aren't something you get tired of.
KnightOfSpace
Especially when they need you.
Almabutt
/nods
Almabutt
We're going to do what we need to do
Almabutt
If her mom and brothers make these choices
Almabutt
they'll find there are consequences
Almabutt
we won't let lila go over if we think any shit talk is happening at all
Almabutt
mom won't see her grand baby
Almabutt
same with tish's brother
Almabutt
it's harsh, but it's their choice to make
Almabutt
if mom moves
Almabutt
she might find she can't see lila as often as she wants
Almabutt
not because we're going to keep them apart
Almabutt
but because our family comes first and moving to a different city makes things harder than everyday visits
Almabutt
hell, even every other day
Almabutt
I think I might put up a hiatus... just to things together again.
KnightOfSpace
RP is the last thing you want to be worrying about rn
KnightOfSpace
Using to relax? Sure. Worrying about; absolutely not
Almabutt
/nods
Almabutt
None of this is secretive, so if anyone asks, go ahead and fill in
KnightOfSpace
idegi. This is one of those "set aside your differences" situations that should pull families together. Not open season for airing issues.
KnightOfSpace
I'm glad you're nephew's helping out and sticking by you guys
KnightOfSpace
*your
Almabutt
/nods You'd think, right?
Almabutt
Yeah, he's been awesome
Almabutt
Bleh ... alright... I'm going to put up a hiatus post and just.. breathe.
Almabutt
If I tag, great, but I think for the next few weeks things will be too crazy
Almabutt
I never feel like tagging is a chore, and I don't want it to turn into that
Needless to say, if you'd rather skip the TL;DR ... lots or emotional and physical injuries to deal with right now resulting from Tish's injury. Some of it might ease with time and talk, but we'll see. In the mean time, I need to make sure my wife and daughter are okay and step up to make sure things are so.
I will be around on plurk and possibly my own LJ, but I won't be gaming until I feel like I can. It might be two weeks, it might be a month or more. Hell, it might be a few days. It will depend on life at large and what it's throwing at us.
I know this effects characters and players around me, particularly those with close in game friends or partners. I'm giving reigns to do as you will with my characters, but if you're hesitant or uncertain how'd they'd react to any one thing just ask. I'm super approachable and don't want your gameplay effected by this if I can help it.
I want to thank you guys for your love and support this past weekend (an always, really). It was paramount in my own mental stability through the chaos that was all around me. So, seriously, from the bottom of my heart, I love you guys.
This hiatus effects all of my characters: Talia, Zhaneel, Alex, Liz, and Tumnus
I'm going to take an extended hiatus from the game. I wish I could give a time frame, but honestly, I really can't right now. To those that are aware, my wife had to undergo surgery new years eve to put her dislocated hip back into socket. The surgery itself wasn't terribly traumatic, but there were additional stresses (emotional/mental/physical) that took place during the weekend that I didn't really publicize to everyone that are... just not good.
I need to focus on getting things together at home and making sure Tish's recovery and health (mentally and physically) are on track.
For those that might be interested in getting the full 411, I included it all here under a cut, plurk fashion with Stellar.
Almabutt
Tish was in an accident back in September of 2004
Almabutt
said accident killed her then husband and the life of her unborn baby
Almabutt
Accident happened when hubby hit a tree going 55 because he fell asleep
Almabutt
Tish is UNDERSTANDABLY traumatized by this
Almabutt
She almost died, Stellar
Almabutt
He body quit making blood, because she was so damaged
Almabutt
Her left his was broken in 7 places
Almabutt
her pelvis broke clean through on the right in two places
KnightOfSpace
omg
Almabutt
her left femur ball snapped off
Almabutt
right hip dislocated
Almabutt
It took them 10 days to even get her into surgery
Almabutt
Told she was never going to walk again
Almabutt
During the initial repair, they failed to restore blood flow to the femur ball
Almabutt
she was getting into the shower and it crushed inside her leg
Almabutt
at which point they went in and completely removed the hip and put in a spacer.
Almabutt
She went until end of '05 before they finally put in the fake hip
Almabutt
january 06 her hip dislocated and was put back in
Almabutt
fine since then
Almabutt
she was getting oranges and lifted her leg and turned wrong and it popped right out
Almabutt
that's what happened this time
Almabutt
a few things just done wrong and a weird instance and out it went
Almabutt
but last dislocation there was basically no pain for an hour
Almabutt
this time, it was immediate and terrible
Almabutt
she woke me up screaming
Almabutt
The femur ball had actually dislocated and popped in between a tendon and muscle
Almabutt
and was caught
Almabutt
so there was immediate pain
Almabutt
They didn't know this at the time, and nor did we
Almabutt
So, we were terrified that the bone had broken
Almabutt
they xrayed and thank god it was just dislocated
Almabutt
but you know the emotional trauma is there
KnightOfSpace
I'm so sorry. I have no idea what to say but just... fffff :-(
Almabutt
/nods and hugs S'ok
KnightOfSpace
/hugs
Almabutt
So... we've got that drama of her being hurt and not knowing how bad
Almabutt
Her mom is with me in the er
Almabutt
and her brother is milling around outside
Almabutt
because he doesn't' want to be near the sick people
Almabutt
:|
Almabutt
Surgery is scheduled and takes twice as long as we'd been told it would
Almabutt
But we're trying to stay calm
Almabutt
becasue the load in and out take the longest
Almabutt
Find out they couldn't simply pull it back into place
Almabutt
they had to knock her out and open her up
Almabutt
Now, this is like, the 6th surgery she's been put under for
Almabutt
This kinda shit scares her, because there's always the chance of her not waking up
Almabutt
Before they bring her in, she's telling me that I am not to give our daughter to her mom
Almabutt
that I'm to raise her with mom in her life
Almabutt
Cue me freaking out silently
Almabutt
So hard
Almabutt
Because wtf, I cannot do this without her.
Almabutt
doctor comes back and told us why it took so long
Almabutt
and that they had to cut her open
Almabutt
That because of this her range of motion would likely increase
Almabutt
so, like u said, silver lining
Almabutt
and she was able to lift her leg higher than she ever had just 4 hours after surgery
Almabutt
well, higher since the initial accident
KnightOfSpace
Well at least that is a plus, yeah.
KnightOfSpace
Or a potential plus
Almabutt
/nods
Almabutt
So, we're in recovery now
Almabutt
Taking it easy and just.. breathing a bit
Almabutt
Being positive and telling her he did great and that the surgery was minor
Almabutt
they operated through a scar already there, so no additional scars
Almabutt
She's JUST fallen asleep and is sleeping heavy
Almabutt
Nephew has been helping us at home... no one has really slept at all... tensions are high
Almabutt
tish's mom (who raised the nephew) and nephew's dad are apparently pissed that he's helping
Almabutt
and tell him his priorities are wrong
Almabutt
...
Almabutt
So, he was going to be cool and bring me food to the hospital
Almabutt
his dad, who demands he be taken care of before anyone else, flips his shit because he wanted food first
Almabutt
and not just food, but chewing tobacco
Almabutt
both of which he'd asked me to buy for him earlier that same day. WHILE tish was in surgery
Almabutt
...
Almabutt
So... nephew's dad flips his shit and comes to the hospital with nephew
Almabutt
makes a fucking scene in tish's hospital room
Almabutt
Yelling and telling myself and ronda (our roomie) that we're both to leave and let tish get her rest
KnightOfSpace
:-( I hope he simmers down.
KnightOfSpace
That's... Not really cool.
KnightOfSpace
You both are so strong to have made it through all this without everything unraveling.
KnightOfSpace
Wow. Didn't see second bit
KnightOfSpace
Dude
Almabutt
Yeah
KnightOfSpace
Okay yeah. Apparently he didn't simmer down :|
Almabutt
In his head he thinks he's doing the right thing... but he was PSYCHO
Almabutt
seriously
Almabutt
Like, was was going to get into a fist fight with nephew for stepping in front to defend us
Almabutt
He woke tish up from a sound sleep, screaming
Almabutt
and tish told him to leave and started to call for the nurse and then he stormed off
Almabutt
he has since, because of this, disowned her from his life
Almabutt
Becasue he was in the wrong, she's being punished
Almabutt
and mom has always enabled him
Almabutt
and though she says he's in the wrong, she's still kind of siding with him
KnightOfSpace
wtfh
Almabutt
Tish's other brother... never came to the hospital... because he, and i quote, 'didn't want to deal with the drama'
Almabutt
Tish was asking for him, stellar
Almabutt
she wanted him there
Almabutt
and he refused to come
Almabutt
He hasn't talked to her since before christmas
Almabutt
due to him having problems with her being with me
Almabutt
She basically lost both of her brothers... and didn't do anything to deserve it
Almabutt
She wasn't in the wrong at all.
Almabutt
And her mom is now doing this hige thing, where she wants to make changes to her life... she's tired of drama and tension
Almabutt
and is going to basically be cutting off our family
Almabutt
and is talking about moving
KnightOfSpace
... Make changes to Tish's life or her own?
Almabutt
And this mostly came from people being tense and tired and exhausted and upset
Almabutt
her own life
Almabutt
all of this is happening while tish in in the hospital and i'm in there with her
Almabutt
her mom came to see her for about 45 minutes one day
Almabutt
not another time
Almabutt
didn't call her
Almabutt
barely stayed on the phone when tish called her
Almabutt
It's just ... it's toxic and terrible
Almabutt
and we don't understand
Almabutt
But she is basically not going to help tish during recovery
Almabutt
unless she changes her mind, again
Almabutt
tish's psycho brother says he wants nothing to do with us
Almabutt
becasue we've wronged him so terribly
KnightOfSpace
As awful as it sounds, that's probably better for you both atm, if his behavior's anything to go on
KnightOfSpace
You guys don't need that
Almabutt
/nods I agree whole heartedly
Almabutt
We've always been kind of distant with him and this is his choice, so whatever
Almabutt
but with her mom... tish's mom is her best friend
Almabutt
and lia's best friend
Almabutt
*lila
Almabutt
So this could be pretty cutting
Almabutt
But it will be her choice
Almabutt
and we're not going to beg her for anything
Almabutt
we're going to do what we need to do
Almabutt
and if that's without tish's family then so be it
Almabutt
My family was there when this happened.. I had aunts calling to check on us and my folks and siblings
Almabutt
tish said she was overwhelmed at how loved and accepted they made her feel
Almabutt
shakes head
Almabutt
A parent should never make their child feel unwanted or strained like this
Almabutt
The whole thing is just... so fucked up
Almabutt
and tish is basically getting the blame for it... and she didn't DO anything
KnightOfSpace
No, this exactly.
KnightOfSpace
I can understand not wanting tension and drama, but children aren't something you get tired of.
KnightOfSpace
Especially when they need you.
Almabutt
/nods
Almabutt
We're going to do what we need to do
Almabutt
If her mom and brothers make these choices
Almabutt
they'll find there are consequences
Almabutt
we won't let lila go over if we think any shit talk is happening at all
Almabutt
mom won't see her grand baby
Almabutt
same with tish's brother
Almabutt
it's harsh, but it's their choice to make
Almabutt
if mom moves
Almabutt
she might find she can't see lila as often as she wants
Almabutt
not because we're going to keep them apart
Almabutt
but because our family comes first and moving to a different city makes things harder than everyday visits
Almabutt
hell, even every other day
Almabutt
I think I might put up a hiatus... just to things together again.
KnightOfSpace
RP is the last thing you want to be worrying about rn
KnightOfSpace
Using to relax? Sure. Worrying about; absolutely not
Almabutt
/nods
Almabutt
None of this is secretive, so if anyone asks, go ahead and fill in
KnightOfSpace
idegi. This is one of those "set aside your differences" situations that should pull families together. Not open season for airing issues.
KnightOfSpace
I'm glad you're nephew's helping out and sticking by you guys
KnightOfSpace
*your
Almabutt
/nods You'd think, right?
Almabutt
Yeah, he's been awesome
Almabutt
Bleh ... alright... I'm going to put up a hiatus post and just.. breathe.
Almabutt
If I tag, great, but I think for the next few weeks things will be too crazy
Almabutt
I never feel like tagging is a chore, and I don't want it to turn into that
Needless to say, if you'd rather skip the TL;DR ... lots or emotional and physical injuries to deal with right now resulting from Tish's injury. Some of it might ease with time and talk, but we'll see. In the mean time, I need to make sure my wife and daughter are okay and step up to make sure things are so.
I will be around on plurk and possibly my own LJ, but I won't be gaming until I feel like I can. It might be two weeks, it might be a month or more. Hell, it might be a few days. It will depend on life at large and what it's throwing at us.
I know this effects characters and players around me, particularly those with close in game friends or partners. I'm giving reigns to do as you will with my characters, but if you're hesitant or uncertain how'd they'd react to any one thing just ask. I'm super approachable and don't want your gameplay effected by this if I can help it.
I want to thank you guys for your love and support this past weekend (an always, really). It was paramount in my own mental stability through the chaos that was all around me. So, seriously, from the bottom of my heart, I love you guys.
This hiatus effects all of my characters: Talia, Zhaneel, Alex, Liz, and Tumnus