Be a simple kind of man
I feel comfortable using good ol' LJ because I know very few people, if any, will actually read this...I just need to get my thoughts down somwhere.
Yesterday, Brian T. Kirkland, 51, was buried 6 feet under...Daddy B...He left behind his wife, his 5 daughters, and his mother...No mother should have to watch her son buried in the ground to paraphrase DM. His service started and ended with Simple Man...Brian was a simple man...I've listened to that song twice today...I want to listen to it more...but it brings something out that I cant describe...it's not sadness...I don't know...
I was called a tool and a faggot by the only person I can talk to anymore without being judged...and guess what....I was judged...
I have lost my best friend...
I have lost my confidant (sp?)
I have lost so much, in such a short amount of time...
I don't want
I don't need
and I don't ask for any sympathy....hence why I'm typing in a journal that *hopefully* ver few read...and I am also sure there is little headed in my direction.
"I would choose three: piece of shit" ...I can't get this out of my head...I don't know why...its just stuck on repeat, like a broken fucking record..."I ain't no Goddamn son of a bitch"...but I am a piece of shit.
my goal was to forget last night...I won't...I can't...it was nothing significant...just the first time I realized that some things cannot be fixed...and that I don't know how to deal with that...do I want them to be fixed? do I want to try? do I even want to think about it? what good would it do? what bad? anything? what? why? how? is it even worth the time I'm taking right now?
my time has come to start anew
I can no longer look upon some things like I once did.
there is no use in it
there is no help there
I can just take one more pill to kill the pain...not until recently did I realize how pathetic it is...but I have no choice. What else is there? nothing.
I don't get depressed anymore.
I'm not happy at the moment...like I was...but I'm not depressed.
I wish I was some sort of extreme, but instead I feel trapped in the middle.
this is whiney
this is bitchy
this is some of the most emo shit that I have ever written...but ya know what...I needed to do it. If you actually read all this...I don't really know why you did...but thanks for wasting a little bit of time on me
Yesterday, Brian T. Kirkland, 51, was buried 6 feet under...Daddy B...He left behind his wife, his 5 daughters, and his mother...No mother should have to watch her son buried in the ground to paraphrase DM. His service started and ended with Simple Man...Brian was a simple man...I've listened to that song twice today...I want to listen to it more...but it brings something out that I cant describe...it's not sadness...I don't know...
I was called a tool and a faggot by the only person I can talk to anymore without being judged...and guess what....I was judged...
I have lost my best friend...
I have lost my confidant (sp?)
I have lost so much, in such a short amount of time...
I don't want
I don't need
and I don't ask for any sympathy....hence why I'm typing in a journal that *hopefully* ver few read...and I am also sure there is little headed in my direction.
"I would choose three: piece of shit" ...I can't get this out of my head...I don't know why...its just stuck on repeat, like a broken fucking record..."I ain't no Goddamn son of a bitch"...but I am a piece of shit.
my goal was to forget last night...I won't...I can't...it was nothing significant...just the first time I realized that some things cannot be fixed...and that I don't know how to deal with that...do I want them to be fixed? do I want to try? do I even want to think about it? what good would it do? what bad? anything? what? why? how? is it even worth the time I'm taking right now?
my time has come to start anew
I can no longer look upon some things like I once did.
there is no use in it
there is no help there
I can just take one more pill to kill the pain...not until recently did I realize how pathetic it is...but I have no choice. What else is there? nothing.
I don't get depressed anymore.
I'm not happy at the moment...like I was...but I'm not depressed.
I wish I was some sort of extreme, but instead I feel trapped in the middle.
this is whiney
this is bitchy
this is some of the most emo shit that I have ever written...but ya know what...I needed to do it. If you actually read all this...I don't really know why you did...but thanks for wasting a little bit of time on me