FIC: No Turning Back (Avatar: The Last Airbender, Sokka/Zuko)
No Turning Back
By Keelywolfe
Fandom: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Sokka/Zuko
Rated NC-17
Summary: While staging their rescue at the Boiling Rock prison, things take a turn for the worse. Zuko/Sokka, NonCon but maybe not in the way you'd think.
WARNINGS: Okay, there's just no way around it. This starts off as non-con. So if that is a squick to you, don't read, okay? Ta!
~~*~~
No matter where you were in the prison, the air felt damp, heavy with bitter humidity that seemed to collect under Sokka's borrowed helmet. It made him wish for about the millionth time that he could take it off if only long enough to towel dry. It felt like his head was fermenting. By the time they got off this island, he would probably have mushrooms sprouting in his hair.
But first, they had to get off. The plan he and his father had come up with was their last chance and all he had to do was get the other guards to let the prisoners into the yard.
He turned down the corridor that led to Zuko's cell, trying to look nonchalant and guard-ly. La, la, nothing to look at, just another prison guard walking here. There, that was Zuko's cell. The sight made him walk a little faster, the urge to get his dad, Suki, and Zuko and just go rising up in him.
A thin seam of light was showing around the edge of the door, making Sokka slow. The door was open? It shouldn't be open unless...yeah, there was already a guard inside. He peered in through the tiny window in the door, trying to see what was happening. Zuko was perfectly capable of taking care of himself but if he caused any trouble he'd end up in the cooler again and they couldn't afford that right now.
The room was too dark to make out anything, only the faint sounds of scuffling. Sokka sighed inwardly and pushed open the door. Maybe he could soothe over whatever the problem was.
"Hey, what's going...on?" His voice trailed away, eyes widening as he stared. Oh, this was so not good.
Zuko was on his knees, blood trailing down his chin. His hands were behind him, already in cuffs and, oh, the cold anger in his eyes, barely flicking to Sokka before they returned to the guard in front of him.
The guard was still wearing his helmet, the eyeholes blank in the dimness like a caricature of humanity. His hands were on his belt, fastening? Unfastening? Sokka couldn't tell and the taste of bitter bile rose in the back of his throat.
"Well, well, if it isn't the new guy. What's the matter, haven't had a chance yet?" he sounded almost jovial. It made nausea twist in Sokka's stomach, the blood trail drying on Zuko's chin, had the other guards already been here? Had Zuko...this had been his idea, all his, Zuko had only wanted to help, just wanted to--
"So why don't you go first, then."
First. Oh, thank all the gods, that meant he hadn't--first?!
Sokka hadn't moved since he'd stepped in the cell, his feet rooted to the floor as surely as if they'd imbedded themselves into it. The cell door had swung shut behind him there was no one to see, no one to stop them. If anyone even would.
"C'mon, the warden will want him soon."
"Right," Sokka stuttered out, forcing his feet to step closer. Frantic ideas were boiling through his mind, each one scanned and quickly dismissed as unhelpful. They couldn't just knock the guard out, they couldn't flee; everything depended on the plan he and his father had devised. Otherwise they would all be in cells on a much more permanent basis.
He grabbed Zuko by the arm and hauled him closer, using the opportunity to lean down and whisper frantically, "You need to get out to the yard in one hour."
There was no time to see if Zuko had understood. The guard crouched down and grabbed Zuko's hair, yanking his head back, breathed in his ear just loud enough for Sokka to hear. "Don't bite, traitor, or the cooler will be the least of your worries."
Wide golden eyes met Sokka's and he could read everything in them, surprising calm in their depths. Do it, they said, we don't have a choice.
His hands felt numb, fumbling with his belt, a small eternity before he got to his trousers. He wasn't even hard, not even the faintest bit of arousal at this, what was wrong with these people that they could even do something like this--
The feeling of a warm, wet mouth surrounding him made him gasp, Zuko barely hesitating, dark heat and gentle suction making sparks dance up Sokka spine, and it didn't matter if he didn't want to want it, his body disturbingly disobedient to his fervent wishes. Somehow, his hands wandered into dark hair, threading through sweaty strands and clenching when Zuko curled the wet tip of his tongue over the head in a way that made Sokka's knees tremble.
It didn't last long, couldn't, and coming was almost a relief, the feeling of Zuko swallowing around him making him shiver. Sokka peeled his eyes open, barely remembering closing them but Zuko was looking at the floor, panting faintly, his lips red and almost swollen. The nausea rose again, Sokka's mouth flooding with saliva, and he dimly wondered if it would blow their cover if he vomited on his boots.
The guard laughed, making both of them jump and Sokka flushed guiltily; he'd almost forgotten the other man was even there. He jerked his pants up, righting them with trembling fingers.
"You really liked that, didn’t you, traitor," he chuckled, fumbling again with his own pants. Terror welled again, Sokka's eyes flicking frantically to Zuko, they couldn't allow this, they couldn't, but Zuko refused to look at him, radiating icy calm.
He was going to...but they...didn't have a choice.
"Hey, what's going on in there?" A loud, blessedly female, voice shouted, the door banging open. "The warden needs to talk to this prisoner immediately." Her eyes narrowed as she took in the scene, "You'll have to get your kicks later, boys."
Sokka stumbled away, watching mutely as she roughly hauled Zuko to his feet and briskly snapped off the cuffs, tossing them at the other guard's feet.
"Pigs," she muttered disgustedly, loudly enough to make Sokka wince, before she dragged Zuko away.
The other guard shrugged almost good-naturedly. "They don't let us date the female guards."
"Yeah," Sokka said weakly. He took one hesitant step towards the door, uncertain his legs would carry him, then two, and then he was nearly running down the corridor, barely managing to slow himself when he heard another guard approaching. The escape plan, right, that was all that mattered now. They had to get out of here before...before anything else happened.
With the firm discipline he'd learned at Piandao's hand, Sokka pushed the entire incident to the back of his mind, that horrible guard, the golden eyes and damp lips. Everything firmly shut away. Let it sit there and stew a while. He had other concerns.
~~*~~
Sokka left the campfire and the laughter even as his heart warmed to hear his father's voice mingling with the others. His family was complete again, both the original and the new members present but it was the person who wasn't there that Sokka was looking for right now.
Zuko had brought them tea three times now, until Toph had asked him if he'd switched to water bending as a method of attack. Zuko had flushed and stammered something out before he fled and hadn’t returned. They hadn't had a moment to really talk yet, the past day a blur of escape plans, his father, and Suki. And while Sokka would never claim to be a genius, had said before that he was just the guy with the boomerang, he did know when someone was avoiding him. And he certainly knew why.
Sokka found Zuko washing the cups, methodically drying them as if all the answers to the universe could be found in the polished ceramic.
He hung back a little, saw in Zuko's stiffening posture that he knew he was being watched. "Are you okay?"
"Of course I'm okay," Zuko said it automatically, with that unusual calm. There was a large chip at the rim of one of the cups, had been for ages. They couldn’t exactly run out and get another tea set anytime they wanted. Zuko was examining the little flaw as though he could tell fortunes from it, the silence hanging between them as he refused to look up.
Yeah, this was going to be awkward. "Except for how you're really not."
"Sokka, I'll be fine."
Edging closer, Sokka crouched down next to the other boy, studying him in profile. He’d never seen Zuko’s scar so close before, the reddened edges were cleaner than he’d expected, the untouched skin around it seemed even paler for it. He’d wondered before if Zuko’s eye had been damaged as well but the flicker of a glance towards him, just meeting his own gaze before it flicked away answered that.
Almost Sokka touched him, hesitated, and let his hand drop. There was a question he needed to ask, one that needed an answer. He looked back at the fire; the laughter was muted by the distance, and saw no other shadows approaching. In a hushed voice he asked, "Did the guard...did...did anyone else..."
Zuko sighed heavily, setting the cup he was drying with the others and finally turning to look at the other boy. "The guard never touched me, Sokka. Aside from putting on the cuffs and getting a little touchy feely, nothing happened. I'm fine, I promise you."
"Except for what I did to you."
"Is that what has you all upset? Sokka, it's really all right," His voice was surprisingly gentle. "I'm sorry I had to do that to you, but we had no choice--"
"You're sorry?" Sokka squeaked out. Geez, but this guy had a guilt problem. He'd take the blame for everything he'd done and then some, carrying the guilt around like Appa carried his riding basket.
Zuko misunderstood, ducking his head, his cheeks flushed red even in the dimness."I'm very sorry, but I couldn't think of any other way."
"No, no, what I mean is, I was the one...you were...I didn't hurt you, did I?" Sokka blurted.
Zuko's expression softened, a little. "No. You didn't hurt me."
"You were bleeding."
He shrugged. "I started to fight when I realized what he was after. He hit me. It didn't hurt too much. It just wasn’t that big of a deal, Sokka. We got out, that’s all that matters."
"It’s a big deal to me."
"Yeah, I’m getting that."
No, he really wasn't but Sokka couldn't tell him how it felt to look at his mouth and remember wet heat and gentle suction, the feathering touch of breath on his bare skin. He couldn't tell Zuko that he hated remembering it because he hadn't been hard then but it made him hard now, just looking at the thin line of Zuko's lips as the boy pursed them in thought.
"We did what we had to do, Sokka, you should try to just leave it at that."
"No, no, you keep enough things inside, you should, you know, talk about things like this. Not that I’d tell anyone but..." he winced inwardly but plowed on, "unless you want to, but--"
"Sokka..."
"And I know we said you shouldn’t keep secrets from your friends but this isn’t really-"
"Sokka-"
"And this is all weird and awkward just when I was getting used to you and I don't want it to be like that because you helped me help my dad--"
"Sokka, he was right," Zuko broke in. "I did like it."
"You-" Blinking. "You mean, he-he and I-"
"Not him," Zuko rolled his eyes. "You."
"Oh." That left him briefly speechless, barely managing to blurt out through his tight throat, "But, you said you had a girlfriend."
"So what?" Sullenly, Zuko crossed his arms over his chest, hunching his shoulders and pulling in on himself. "I did. I like girls." Deep breath. "But I liked that, too."
"Oh." So maybe the words weird and awkward weren't enough to describe this anymore. A brief flashing memory again of that soft mouth, so very gentle and had Zuko wanted it before that? Had the guard just pushed the issue or had he been surprised by it too, like Sokka had, that it had felt so good even when it was wrong.
"Look, I didn't tell you this so you would feel bad or...or--urgh!" Zuko pushed an angry hand through his hair. "I just--I don't know why I told you. It's all right. We can still...we can be friends, right?"
It was that tone of his, that oh so vulnerable and hopeful one that Sokka had only learned existed in the past few weeks. It echoed in his eyes, desperately pleading for something, some scrap of affection that was never received. Sokka had known to hate the Fire Lord since the moment he'd understood who he was but never before had that feeling been so burningly personal. Aang always talked about forgiveness and first steps, all that Airbender junk, but there was nothing and no one who could ever make Sokka forgive the Fire Lord for what he'd done to his own son.
"I don't think I want to be friends with you," Sokka said finally and that beseeching, hopeful light in Zuko's eyes faded. "I mean, if we were just friends, I wouldn't be able to do this."
Zuko's mouth was wet and faintly sweet, like the tea he so often made. Surprise parted his lips and Sokka wasn't above taking advantage of a lapse like that, slipping his tongue past the hard edge of teeth to the softness inside. Zuko's tongue wasn't quite with the plan, lax and unmoving but hey, as first kisses went, Sokka wasn't about to complain.
He pulled back enough to look into Zuko's eyes, wide with shock.
"I--you--" Speech seemed to fail him and Zuko finally just stared at him blankly, his mouth still trying to form words.
"Yeah, it’s not really a 'friend' sort of thing," Sokka said agreeably. "So we'll have to be something else."
"But--you and Suki, she is--you were--" Zuko stammered out, gesturing almost wildly to indicate whatever words weren't forming properly. It was really sort of cute, Sokka decided with growing fondness. A year of traveling from one end of the world to another had taught Sokka one important lesson, take what's offered when it's offered because tomorrow you might be dead. Or the moon. Something like that, anyway.
"Yeah, Suki's great, isn't she? But I gotta tell you, she'll understand."
"Understand?" Zuko parroted dumbly.
Sokka squinted at him. "Are you okay? I mean, I didn't hurt you, did I? Firebenders can kiss and stuff, right?"
"Yes, they can kiss!" Zuko snapped, visibly shaking himself. Well, good then, if he wasn’t mentally damaged then maybe there could be some more kissing. "What I meant was, what do you mean she'll understand?"
"Boy, you didn't pay much attention to Kyoshi island before you burned it down, did you? Lots of female warriors, hanging out together--just trust me, she'll understand."
"I don't think I understand, exactly," Zuko said, his voice low. But his eyes said he understood perfectly, that brilliant gold warming with something that had nothing to do with firebending.
That was okay, though, until Zuko got everything on the same page, Sokka could handle it. He was improvising sort of guy. "Tell you what," he said, leaning forward on his knees, "Why don't we just go with it being my turn now, and we'll figure out the rest later."
It was kind of nice that basic prison clothes were of the easy access variety since Sokka wasn't sure he was up to dealing with all the layers Zuko usually wore. He fumbled nervously with the ties, hands shaking. Taking clothes off someone else wasn't quite as easy as he'd figured.
"Wait. Stop," Suddenly harsh, Zuko grabbing his hands in a firm grip. Sokka looked up at Zuko's tight expression. "You don't have to do this. I don't want your pity or guilt or whatever this is."
"It's a good thing I'm not offering any, then," he kept his voice soft, coaxing like he would a frightened animal, "You liked doing it to me, right? So let me try."
Zuko's hard expression shifted, the vulnerability showing through the cracks and Sokka spared a brief thought in the direction of the Fire Lord again. No punishment could repay this. Sokka pulled his hands free of Zuko's lax grip and this time managed to work his pants open, pushing Zuko to sprawl back on his elbows. It left him with his legs spread, enough room for Sokka to crouch between them and just...wow.
He'd seen other people naked before, of course he had. Bathing together was commonplace in the Water Tribe and, he'd learned, in much of the rest of the world, too. But it had never been like this, warm skin beneath him, aroused, waiting for him.
Zuko was still beneath him, holding his breath, the wet gleam of his eyes watching, waiting. Well Sokka did hate to disappoint.
Soft, soft skin, the faint taste of salt beneath his tongue and he licked the tip gently, heard Zuko gasp above him. It made Sokka wonder just how much the other boy had done. He hadn't seemed all that uncertain in the prison but now his hands were clenched tightly at his sides and he was trembling so hard that Sokka couldn't help but pet his leg soothingly, curving a hand into the soft well behind Zuko's knee.
It's all right, he tried to convey without words, his mouth a little too busy for talking right now. It wasn't as easy as it sounded and he couldn't help but wonder why Zuko hadn't drooled too much or gagged a little when he took it too deep. His jaw was aching a little and trying to work his tongue around the thickness in his mouth while being careful of his teeth at the same time was a task worthy of more concentration than he could give.
But from the sounds Zuko was making, none of that was bothering him at all. Sokka managed to look up enough to see Zuko had a hand over his mouth, muffling his own cries while his other scrambled in the dirt, flailing for something to hold on to.
He captured that hand in his own, wincing a little at the unnatural heat and spared a moment to hope that Zuko had enough control not to fry their hands off. Then he managed to get everything line up right, for once, swallowing around that hardness and he recognized his name through the muffled sounds above him.
A surge of bitter heat over his tongue surprised him and he pulled back, swallowing frantically to keep from choking. The hand in his own grew painfully hot for the briefest second, cooling before Sokka could even pull away. He leaned back on his knees, letting Zuko keep his hand as he studied his handiwork.
Zuko looked....broken, Sokka decided with great satisfaction. Clothes in disarray, sweaty hair clinging to his scalp as he gulped in air, his panting slowly easing.
"So that was okay, then, right?" Sokka had to ask. Hey, it never hurt to have a little reassurance.
Zuko's eyes flew open, unreadable as he stared at Sokka. It made him shift a little uncomfortably; okay, so he wasn't an expert but all things take practice, right? No one became a master on their first day and surely blowjobs counted with that--
The sound he made could only be called an undignified squawk as Zuko grabbed him by the front of his shirt and pulled him down. A hot mouth covered his own, his still tender lips protesting in a way that he completely ignored in favor of the rough tongue sliding against his own, licking into his mouth as though to taste himself on Sokka's lips.
"Sokka?" Katara's voice floated over to them, freezing them as surely as if she'd encased them in ice.
"Dammit," he hissed, sitting up and adjusting his own pants uncomfortably. He didn't miss the faint curve of a smirk on Zuko's mouth before he quickly straightened his own clothes.
They crouched there a moment longer, no time for any words before his sister stumbled across them. Instead, Sokka gave him a last, quick kiss before he pulled away, yelling to his sister that he was coming.
Zuko didn't follow him, only watched him walk away with unreadable eyes. But that was okay, Sokka decided. Tomorrow was another day and he'd heard that firebenders rose with the sun.
And that was a theory he was dying to test.
-finis-
Next Chapter
By Keelywolfe
Fandom: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Sokka/Zuko
Rated NC-17
Summary: While staging their rescue at the Boiling Rock prison, things take a turn for the worse. Zuko/Sokka, NonCon but maybe not in the way you'd think.
WARNINGS: Okay, there's just no way around it. This starts off as non-con. So if that is a squick to you, don't read, okay? Ta!
~~*~~
No matter where you were in the prison, the air felt damp, heavy with bitter humidity that seemed to collect under Sokka's borrowed helmet. It made him wish for about the millionth time that he could take it off if only long enough to towel dry. It felt like his head was fermenting. By the time they got off this island, he would probably have mushrooms sprouting in his hair.
But first, they had to get off. The plan he and his father had come up with was their last chance and all he had to do was get the other guards to let the prisoners into the yard.
He turned down the corridor that led to Zuko's cell, trying to look nonchalant and guard-ly. La, la, nothing to look at, just another prison guard walking here. There, that was Zuko's cell. The sight made him walk a little faster, the urge to get his dad, Suki, and Zuko and just go rising up in him.
A thin seam of light was showing around the edge of the door, making Sokka slow. The door was open? It shouldn't be open unless...yeah, there was already a guard inside. He peered in through the tiny window in the door, trying to see what was happening. Zuko was perfectly capable of taking care of himself but if he caused any trouble he'd end up in the cooler again and they couldn't afford that right now.
The room was too dark to make out anything, only the faint sounds of scuffling. Sokka sighed inwardly and pushed open the door. Maybe he could soothe over whatever the problem was.
"Hey, what's going...on?" His voice trailed away, eyes widening as he stared. Oh, this was so not good.
Zuko was on his knees, blood trailing down his chin. His hands were behind him, already in cuffs and, oh, the cold anger in his eyes, barely flicking to Sokka before they returned to the guard in front of him.
The guard was still wearing his helmet, the eyeholes blank in the dimness like a caricature of humanity. His hands were on his belt, fastening? Unfastening? Sokka couldn't tell and the taste of bitter bile rose in the back of his throat.
"Well, well, if it isn't the new guy. What's the matter, haven't had a chance yet?" he sounded almost jovial. It made nausea twist in Sokka's stomach, the blood trail drying on Zuko's chin, had the other guards already been here? Had Zuko...this had been his idea, all his, Zuko had only wanted to help, just wanted to--
"So why don't you go first, then."
First. Oh, thank all the gods, that meant he hadn't--first?!
Sokka hadn't moved since he'd stepped in the cell, his feet rooted to the floor as surely as if they'd imbedded themselves into it. The cell door had swung shut behind him there was no one to see, no one to stop them. If anyone even would.
"C'mon, the warden will want him soon."
"Right," Sokka stuttered out, forcing his feet to step closer. Frantic ideas were boiling through his mind, each one scanned and quickly dismissed as unhelpful. They couldn't just knock the guard out, they couldn't flee; everything depended on the plan he and his father had devised. Otherwise they would all be in cells on a much more permanent basis.
He grabbed Zuko by the arm and hauled him closer, using the opportunity to lean down and whisper frantically, "You need to get out to the yard in one hour."
There was no time to see if Zuko had understood. The guard crouched down and grabbed Zuko's hair, yanking his head back, breathed in his ear just loud enough for Sokka to hear. "Don't bite, traitor, or the cooler will be the least of your worries."
Wide golden eyes met Sokka's and he could read everything in them, surprising calm in their depths. Do it, they said, we don't have a choice.
His hands felt numb, fumbling with his belt, a small eternity before he got to his trousers. He wasn't even hard, not even the faintest bit of arousal at this, what was wrong with these people that they could even do something like this--
The feeling of a warm, wet mouth surrounding him made him gasp, Zuko barely hesitating, dark heat and gentle suction making sparks dance up Sokka spine, and it didn't matter if he didn't want to want it, his body disturbingly disobedient to his fervent wishes. Somehow, his hands wandered into dark hair, threading through sweaty strands and clenching when Zuko curled the wet tip of his tongue over the head in a way that made Sokka's knees tremble.
It didn't last long, couldn't, and coming was almost a relief, the feeling of Zuko swallowing around him making him shiver. Sokka peeled his eyes open, barely remembering closing them but Zuko was looking at the floor, panting faintly, his lips red and almost swollen. The nausea rose again, Sokka's mouth flooding with saliva, and he dimly wondered if it would blow their cover if he vomited on his boots.
The guard laughed, making both of them jump and Sokka flushed guiltily; he'd almost forgotten the other man was even there. He jerked his pants up, righting them with trembling fingers.
"You really liked that, didn’t you, traitor," he chuckled, fumbling again with his own pants. Terror welled again, Sokka's eyes flicking frantically to Zuko, they couldn't allow this, they couldn't, but Zuko refused to look at him, radiating icy calm.
He was going to...but they...didn't have a choice.
"Hey, what's going on in there?" A loud, blessedly female, voice shouted, the door banging open. "The warden needs to talk to this prisoner immediately." Her eyes narrowed as she took in the scene, "You'll have to get your kicks later, boys."
Sokka stumbled away, watching mutely as she roughly hauled Zuko to his feet and briskly snapped off the cuffs, tossing them at the other guard's feet.
"Pigs," she muttered disgustedly, loudly enough to make Sokka wince, before she dragged Zuko away.
The other guard shrugged almost good-naturedly. "They don't let us date the female guards."
"Yeah," Sokka said weakly. He took one hesitant step towards the door, uncertain his legs would carry him, then two, and then he was nearly running down the corridor, barely managing to slow himself when he heard another guard approaching. The escape plan, right, that was all that mattered now. They had to get out of here before...before anything else happened.
With the firm discipline he'd learned at Piandao's hand, Sokka pushed the entire incident to the back of his mind, that horrible guard, the golden eyes and damp lips. Everything firmly shut away. Let it sit there and stew a while. He had other concerns.
~~*~~
Sokka left the campfire and the laughter even as his heart warmed to hear his father's voice mingling with the others. His family was complete again, both the original and the new members present but it was the person who wasn't there that Sokka was looking for right now.
Zuko had brought them tea three times now, until Toph had asked him if he'd switched to water bending as a method of attack. Zuko had flushed and stammered something out before he fled and hadn’t returned. They hadn't had a moment to really talk yet, the past day a blur of escape plans, his father, and Suki. And while Sokka would never claim to be a genius, had said before that he was just the guy with the boomerang, he did know when someone was avoiding him. And he certainly knew why.
Sokka found Zuko washing the cups, methodically drying them as if all the answers to the universe could be found in the polished ceramic.
He hung back a little, saw in Zuko's stiffening posture that he knew he was being watched. "Are you okay?"
"Of course I'm okay," Zuko said it automatically, with that unusual calm. There was a large chip at the rim of one of the cups, had been for ages. They couldn’t exactly run out and get another tea set anytime they wanted. Zuko was examining the little flaw as though he could tell fortunes from it, the silence hanging between them as he refused to look up.
Yeah, this was going to be awkward. "Except for how you're really not."
"Sokka, I'll be fine."
Edging closer, Sokka crouched down next to the other boy, studying him in profile. He’d never seen Zuko’s scar so close before, the reddened edges were cleaner than he’d expected, the untouched skin around it seemed even paler for it. He’d wondered before if Zuko’s eye had been damaged as well but the flicker of a glance towards him, just meeting his own gaze before it flicked away answered that.
Almost Sokka touched him, hesitated, and let his hand drop. There was a question he needed to ask, one that needed an answer. He looked back at the fire; the laughter was muted by the distance, and saw no other shadows approaching. In a hushed voice he asked, "Did the guard...did...did anyone else..."
Zuko sighed heavily, setting the cup he was drying with the others and finally turning to look at the other boy. "The guard never touched me, Sokka. Aside from putting on the cuffs and getting a little touchy feely, nothing happened. I'm fine, I promise you."
"Except for what I did to you."
"Is that what has you all upset? Sokka, it's really all right," His voice was surprisingly gentle. "I'm sorry I had to do that to you, but we had no choice--"
"You're sorry?" Sokka squeaked out. Geez, but this guy had a guilt problem. He'd take the blame for everything he'd done and then some, carrying the guilt around like Appa carried his riding basket.
Zuko misunderstood, ducking his head, his cheeks flushed red even in the dimness."I'm very sorry, but I couldn't think of any other way."
"No, no, what I mean is, I was the one...you were...I didn't hurt you, did I?" Sokka blurted.
Zuko's expression softened, a little. "No. You didn't hurt me."
"You were bleeding."
He shrugged. "I started to fight when I realized what he was after. He hit me. It didn't hurt too much. It just wasn’t that big of a deal, Sokka. We got out, that’s all that matters."
"It’s a big deal to me."
"Yeah, I’m getting that."
No, he really wasn't but Sokka couldn't tell him how it felt to look at his mouth and remember wet heat and gentle suction, the feathering touch of breath on his bare skin. He couldn't tell Zuko that he hated remembering it because he hadn't been hard then but it made him hard now, just looking at the thin line of Zuko's lips as the boy pursed them in thought.
"We did what we had to do, Sokka, you should try to just leave it at that."
"No, no, you keep enough things inside, you should, you know, talk about things like this. Not that I’d tell anyone but..." he winced inwardly but plowed on, "unless you want to, but--"
"Sokka..."
"And I know we said you shouldn’t keep secrets from your friends but this isn’t really-"
"Sokka-"
"And this is all weird and awkward just when I was getting used to you and I don't want it to be like that because you helped me help my dad--"
"Sokka, he was right," Zuko broke in. "I did like it."
"You-" Blinking. "You mean, he-he and I-"
"Not him," Zuko rolled his eyes. "You."
"Oh." That left him briefly speechless, barely managing to blurt out through his tight throat, "But, you said you had a girlfriend."
"So what?" Sullenly, Zuko crossed his arms over his chest, hunching his shoulders and pulling in on himself. "I did. I like girls." Deep breath. "But I liked that, too."
"Oh." So maybe the words weird and awkward weren't enough to describe this anymore. A brief flashing memory again of that soft mouth, so very gentle and had Zuko wanted it before that? Had the guard just pushed the issue or had he been surprised by it too, like Sokka had, that it had felt so good even when it was wrong.
"Look, I didn't tell you this so you would feel bad or...or--urgh!" Zuko pushed an angry hand through his hair. "I just--I don't know why I told you. It's all right. We can still...we can be friends, right?"
It was that tone of his, that oh so vulnerable and hopeful one that Sokka had only learned existed in the past few weeks. It echoed in his eyes, desperately pleading for something, some scrap of affection that was never received. Sokka had known to hate the Fire Lord since the moment he'd understood who he was but never before had that feeling been so burningly personal. Aang always talked about forgiveness and first steps, all that Airbender junk, but there was nothing and no one who could ever make Sokka forgive the Fire Lord for what he'd done to his own son.
"I don't think I want to be friends with you," Sokka said finally and that beseeching, hopeful light in Zuko's eyes faded. "I mean, if we were just friends, I wouldn't be able to do this."
Zuko's mouth was wet and faintly sweet, like the tea he so often made. Surprise parted his lips and Sokka wasn't above taking advantage of a lapse like that, slipping his tongue past the hard edge of teeth to the softness inside. Zuko's tongue wasn't quite with the plan, lax and unmoving but hey, as first kisses went, Sokka wasn't about to complain.
He pulled back enough to look into Zuko's eyes, wide with shock.
"I--you--" Speech seemed to fail him and Zuko finally just stared at him blankly, his mouth still trying to form words.
"Yeah, it’s not really a 'friend' sort of thing," Sokka said agreeably. "So we'll have to be something else."
"But--you and Suki, she is--you were--" Zuko stammered out, gesturing almost wildly to indicate whatever words weren't forming properly. It was really sort of cute, Sokka decided with growing fondness. A year of traveling from one end of the world to another had taught Sokka one important lesson, take what's offered when it's offered because tomorrow you might be dead. Or the moon. Something like that, anyway.
"Yeah, Suki's great, isn't she? But I gotta tell you, she'll understand."
"Understand?" Zuko parroted dumbly.
Sokka squinted at him. "Are you okay? I mean, I didn't hurt you, did I? Firebenders can kiss and stuff, right?"
"Yes, they can kiss!" Zuko snapped, visibly shaking himself. Well, good then, if he wasn’t mentally damaged then maybe there could be some more kissing. "What I meant was, what do you mean she'll understand?"
"Boy, you didn't pay much attention to Kyoshi island before you burned it down, did you? Lots of female warriors, hanging out together--just trust me, she'll understand."
"I don't think I understand, exactly," Zuko said, his voice low. But his eyes said he understood perfectly, that brilliant gold warming with something that had nothing to do with firebending.
That was okay, though, until Zuko got everything on the same page, Sokka could handle it. He was improvising sort of guy. "Tell you what," he said, leaning forward on his knees, "Why don't we just go with it being my turn now, and we'll figure out the rest later."
It was kind of nice that basic prison clothes were of the easy access variety since Sokka wasn't sure he was up to dealing with all the layers Zuko usually wore. He fumbled nervously with the ties, hands shaking. Taking clothes off someone else wasn't quite as easy as he'd figured.
"Wait. Stop," Suddenly harsh, Zuko grabbing his hands in a firm grip. Sokka looked up at Zuko's tight expression. "You don't have to do this. I don't want your pity or guilt or whatever this is."
"It's a good thing I'm not offering any, then," he kept his voice soft, coaxing like he would a frightened animal, "You liked doing it to me, right? So let me try."
Zuko's hard expression shifted, the vulnerability showing through the cracks and Sokka spared a brief thought in the direction of the Fire Lord again. No punishment could repay this. Sokka pulled his hands free of Zuko's lax grip and this time managed to work his pants open, pushing Zuko to sprawl back on his elbows. It left him with his legs spread, enough room for Sokka to crouch between them and just...wow.
He'd seen other people naked before, of course he had. Bathing together was commonplace in the Water Tribe and, he'd learned, in much of the rest of the world, too. But it had never been like this, warm skin beneath him, aroused, waiting for him.
Zuko was still beneath him, holding his breath, the wet gleam of his eyes watching, waiting. Well Sokka did hate to disappoint.
Soft, soft skin, the faint taste of salt beneath his tongue and he licked the tip gently, heard Zuko gasp above him. It made Sokka wonder just how much the other boy had done. He hadn't seemed all that uncertain in the prison but now his hands were clenched tightly at his sides and he was trembling so hard that Sokka couldn't help but pet his leg soothingly, curving a hand into the soft well behind Zuko's knee.
It's all right, he tried to convey without words, his mouth a little too busy for talking right now. It wasn't as easy as it sounded and he couldn't help but wonder why Zuko hadn't drooled too much or gagged a little when he took it too deep. His jaw was aching a little and trying to work his tongue around the thickness in his mouth while being careful of his teeth at the same time was a task worthy of more concentration than he could give.
But from the sounds Zuko was making, none of that was bothering him at all. Sokka managed to look up enough to see Zuko had a hand over his mouth, muffling his own cries while his other scrambled in the dirt, flailing for something to hold on to.
He captured that hand in his own, wincing a little at the unnatural heat and spared a moment to hope that Zuko had enough control not to fry their hands off. Then he managed to get everything line up right, for once, swallowing around that hardness and he recognized his name through the muffled sounds above him.
A surge of bitter heat over his tongue surprised him and he pulled back, swallowing frantically to keep from choking. The hand in his own grew painfully hot for the briefest second, cooling before Sokka could even pull away. He leaned back on his knees, letting Zuko keep his hand as he studied his handiwork.
Zuko looked....broken, Sokka decided with great satisfaction. Clothes in disarray, sweaty hair clinging to his scalp as he gulped in air, his panting slowly easing.
"So that was okay, then, right?" Sokka had to ask. Hey, it never hurt to have a little reassurance.
Zuko's eyes flew open, unreadable as he stared at Sokka. It made him shift a little uncomfortably; okay, so he wasn't an expert but all things take practice, right? No one became a master on their first day and surely blowjobs counted with that--
The sound he made could only be called an undignified squawk as Zuko grabbed him by the front of his shirt and pulled him down. A hot mouth covered his own, his still tender lips protesting in a way that he completely ignored in favor of the rough tongue sliding against his own, licking into his mouth as though to taste himself on Sokka's lips.
"Sokka?" Katara's voice floated over to them, freezing them as surely as if she'd encased them in ice.
"Dammit," he hissed, sitting up and adjusting his own pants uncomfortably. He didn't miss the faint curve of a smirk on Zuko's mouth before he quickly straightened his own clothes.
They crouched there a moment longer, no time for any words before his sister stumbled across them. Instead, Sokka gave him a last, quick kiss before he pulled away, yelling to his sister that he was coming.
Zuko didn't follow him, only watched him walk away with unreadable eyes. But that was okay, Sokka decided. Tomorrow was another day and he'd heard that firebenders rose with the sun.
And that was a theory he was dying to test.
-finis-
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