FIC: Through High Windows 1/1 (Connor/Kyle, NC-17)
Through High Windows
by Keelywolfe
Fandom: DC Universe
Pairing: Connor/Kyle, (Green Arrow/Green Lantern)
Rated NC-17
Disclaimer: I do not own these characters. Just playing with them. Thank you.
Summary: One should be careful about peering into keyholes and windows.
Notes: This is set after Connor Hawke: Dragon's Blood. For those of you who haven't read it, that means before One Year Later while Kyle is still living in New York. (And tell me, wasn't it brilliant to see Connor looking like himself? Yummy, yum.)
~*~
He wasn't quite sure how this happened, not really.
It wasn't the first time he'd ventured into Kyle's apartment by way of the window or even the fifth time but somewhere along the way of this becoming a pattern, he'd forgotten that other people did things in their bedrooms aside from sleeping and yoga. Sometimes people used those beds for other things or maybe didn't even use the bed at all.
Sometimes people like Kyle might be sprawled on the floor doing…he didn't know. He hadn't looked that long, had only seen blond hair and bare skin before he'd jerked back to lean against the wall on the side of the window.
His own little personal crisis somehow seemed a lot less of the 'midnight conversation' type. He could possibly just forget this whole thing and come see Kyle in the morning. Probably would have left already but there were these little sounds carrying through the barely-opened window, low and base, edged with something like desperation and he should go, should have been gone minutes ago.
That sound, not Kyle and-
(how did he know, how could he imagine Kyle's voice)
Masculine voice, murmured words that Connor couldn't make out, and he had to look. It wasn't wrong, he told himself, he knew so little of passion; it was possible he could mistake it for violence, wasn't it? Could he forgive himself later if Kyle was dying and Connor had been just on the other side of the window, like Alice hiding from the looking glass?
And he looked.
The light drifting through the open bedroom door was thin, carrying from the kitchen, maybe, or the studio. It's enough, more than enough, for him to see shadowed figures kneeling on the floor. The pale gleam of blond hair, young face with a straggly beard and an open mouth biting off sounds as his pale fingers writhed in dark hair. Kyle's hair and Connor might still be a virgin,
(mostly, a difficult point to argue when he isn't sure himself)
But he knew what Kyle was doing. Knew exactly what the motions of his head stood for, stuttering up and down, seesawing beneath the blond's clutching hands. Dark tufts of hair poked out between those fingers, wavering like little flags in motion that Connor couldn't tear his eyes from. Little sounds carried to him through the glass, the blond biting his lower lip barely stifling them and he drew up one knee, partially blocking his view of Kyle's head and breaking the spell.
Connor's fingers were cramping; he realized it belatedly and had to concentrate on relaxing his grip on the stone ledge. He only looked away a bare moment, resettling himself on the ledge but by the time he looked back, he saw he'd missed the end, saw the blond cupping Kyle's face and they were talking, too low to hear even though he strained, hunching closer and…
What was he doing?
Connor jerked away from the window with a silent gasp, cracking his head against the bricks hard enough that his vision sparkled. He rubbed the aching spot furiously, muting the pain as best as he could, and then simply left his hand there and let it clench in his hair. Stupid, stupid, like a chant in the back of his head. Had he really just sat outside a window and watched one of his closest friends have sex? It was obscene, an invasion of privacy that he could scarcely conceive of in himself.
It was time to go, now, and later he could meditate on what all this meant because it had to mean something, he wasn't like this, not sex-obsessed like…
"Not even going to say hi?"
It was almost too much of a shock at this one moment and Connor nearly fell off the ledge in what would have been an unpleasant two-story drop. Would have if strong fingers hadn't grabbed his arm and steadied him.
Strong fingers and a familiar voice.
It was harder than he expected to open his eyes. He let his hand drop from his head and braced himself more firmly against the wall instead, kept his eyes low until they wandered over to the bare feet next to him. Startled, he looked up and saw Kyle was still in his plain clothes, shirt unbuttoned and blowing softly around him.
"What are you doing?" Connor whispered furiously. He might be able to blend into the shadows around the window but Kyle's pale shirt and skin would be a glowing advertisement for someone to call the police.
"This is my window, I have every right to be here," Kyle pointed out easily. He shifted, little getting-comfy gestures as he settled himself on the narrow ledge.
"I meant that it would be suspicious if someone saw you talking to me out of your uniform."
Kyle laughed softly, his eyes glittering darkly in the streetlight. "That didn't stop you from creeping around my window in the wee hours of the night, did it?"
No, but he had an excuse for that. Had an excuse, could maybe explain being here but-
Kyle was still watching him, still lounging on the window ledge like it was a perfectly comfortable place to be instead of cold brick and mortar. Except if Kyle was here, alone, then where--
"Are you all right?" Connor hadn't actually meant to ask that. He was very sure he'd meant to apologize or explain but since he hadn't, he might as well wait for an answer.
"Not really." Kyle drew one leg up and rested his chin on it. "You?"
"I don't know," Connor told him, honestly. "I didn't mean to-"
Fingertips on his lips silenced him, cool and damp, smelling of sweat and something that no one had to tell Connor was sex. "Come inside."
He went. Stood uncertainly in the dark bedroom while Kyle stripped off his shirt and tossed it at a hamper. Another shirt, scooped up from the floor followed it, various clothes scattered across the room trailing after.
"I met him in a bookstore, if you can believe it," Kyle was saying, jerking the sheets off the bed and sending them after the clothes. He sat down on the bare mattress, sprawled back on his elbows. "Some poetry night bullshit. I can't stand that crap but I wanted to be somewhere else for a while, you know? Somewhere with people who aren't actively trying to kill me. He just sat down with me and started talking about anime verses American cartoons and I-"
"Stop," Connor tried, barely a sound that Kyle ignored.
"I asked him if he'd come home with me and he did. He was pretty enough and blond and I wanted-"
"Stop it!"
"I wanted to blow someone, all right?" Kyle snarled, sitting up and his hands were tight on his knees, trying not to grab something, Connor thought, and he swayed towards him without thinking, actually took a step. Kyle's barking laugh stopped him. "And of all the nights for you to show up, you picked tonight. Isn't that fantastic? I didn't even realize you were there at first, you know that? I was just going to town on this guy's dick and I don't even know his name!"
"Kyle-" The whine in his own voice stopped him and Connor had no idea what he was supposed to say.
"I saw you out there after he came," Almost dreamily, Kyle's fingers stroking his knees absently. One hand drifted up to his chest, fingers moving lazily over bare skin. "I was kneeling there with the taste in my mouth and saw your shadow. I could have-" faint green glow from his hand, illuminating the pallor of his skin. Irish blood, from his mother's side, Connor recalled, watched that hand drift lower, resting lightly on Kyle's belly. "I could have done a lot. But you stayed."
"I didn't mean to."
"But you did. You're here."
"I just wanted to talk," Connor told him. It was the truth; he hadn't meant for any of this to happen. But then, neither had Kyle.
Another laugh, hard-edged and cool. "I'm tired of talking to you, Connor."
"I'm your friend."
"You've been running away from me since we've met."
That stung, the bitter accusation in it and he had never, he and Kyle were friends and had been for the better part of two years.
"Connor?" Kyle was leaning back on one elbow, his free hand drifting low on his belly, stroking the fine line of dark hair to where it disappeared beneath his waistband. "Come here."
"I can't-" he started, shook his head. He wasn't gay, he and Kyle were friends.
"Don't run away from me anymore." Low, pleading, and his eyes refused to move from Kyle's fingers as they nimbly opened the buttons on his pants, dipped under the denim and moved beneath it.
He hadn't meant to step forward, Connor knew that. He hadn't meant to do any of this. But he was still here, bow and quiver clattering to the floor as he clumsily shrugged out of them and he was reaching for Kyle with his own hands, cleaner than Kyle's.
The bed felt too soft beneath him, Kyle's mouth hard and unforgiving on his own and it didn't taste different than it should, nothing underlying the plain human taste of what he was but Connor still shuddered in disgust at the thrust of his tongue. Licked at it with his own, wanted it clean and fresh and purer, but he couldn't let it go now. Kyle's hair was soft and cool in his hands, holding him still for kisses that Connor couldn't stop.
"Wanted this," Kyle breathed into his mouth, teeth catching on Connor's lips as spoke. "Wanted this so fucking much." He was heavy on top of Connor, his weight pushing their hips together, denim scraping against the heavier material of his uniform and Connor wanted it gone, scrabbled between them and his knuckles were against the bare skin of Kyle's belly, dragging a moan from both of them.
"Please," Connor managed to choke out, trying to work Kyle's jeans down along with his own pants, too lost in this to do either and he could only jerk on the material helplessly. Green light flared to life, surrounding them both and he heard the hiss of ripping fabric, barely cared that every seam of their clothing had torn out simultaneously because they were both suddenly naked against each other.
Kyle's hand was between them, moving restlessly over Connor's cock and down to stroke between his legs, pressing up behind his balls at a place that was suddenly terribly sensitive. He thrashed up against him, felt the heat of Kyle's cock against his bare hip and tried to reach for it. Couldn't. His hands refused to move from the bed and he didn't have time to even wonder at why before Kyle had wrapped his hand around him and every thought in his head shattered away.
The hard scrape of the edge of his ring on each upstroke was deliciously unbearable, too-tight grip and Kyle's mouth hot on his ear, mumbling obscenities that Connor only half-understood.
"Come on, come on," Kyle chanted softly, the sound spilling over Connor's skin, heating him. "Come on, you bastard, come for me, want to feel this, come on!"
His grip shifted, the ring digging into sensitive skin and sending a blaze of sensation to sizzle at Connor's spine. Connor choked off a cry, wondered if this was what insanity felt like and he finally, finally obeyed Kyle's frenzied command, arched his hips and came in a rush of wet, glossy heat.
Dazed, Connor didn't murmur so much as a protest as he was suddenly flipped over, the wetness on his belly suddenly a mess beneath him. A knee between his legs edged them apart, Kyle's mouth damp against his spine but it was the fingers slipping lower that had his attention, pressing against his ass and then inside, burning that didn't ease as one finger became two, pushing into him.
"I'm going to fuck you," Softly, matter of fact against his ear. "Have to."
"Kyle," Connor whimpered, unsure if he was going to protest but he had to say something.
"I have to," Kyle insisted, his fingers sweet-brutal as they thrust in again. "I've waited a long time and you barely even believe this is real."
He didn't. He couldn't even argue it because it was painfully true and the smell of their sex was just like the scent he'd caught from Kyle's skin, was it only a half hour ago? More? Less? Time seemed to have gotten tangled along the way and Connor could only gasp as Kyle's fingers slipped out of him, too-dry pain easing as they returned slick. Hot and deep inside him, good, he admitted helplessly. Really, really good when they finally slipped away and something else, Kyle's cock his bleating mind informed him, started edging inside him.
Too much, too big, too much pressure and the burn was worse, bad enough to make him gasp and move, pushing back against it. Gay gay gay, his mind blared, too loudly after its silence of the past few minutes that had allowed him to get here. Completely gay to be arching into it, wanting to be filled even deeper, until Kyle's hips slapped against his own, soft bare skin like a caress.
"Did…didn't," he stammered out on an exhale, dragging in another breath and words abandoned him completely at the first real thrust, Kyle's hands on his hips pulling him back into it, God, perfect right there. Didn't want to want his, a bitter little thought inside him. If Kyle had asked, he could have told him, not quite as oblivious as Kyle seemed to think. Was anyone that naive?
But he didn't want to want this, that persistent little whine insisted. He'd never wanted to be on his knees, sliding on the sweat between them as Kyle moved inside him. Had never wanted to be pigeon-holed into this like everyone else seemed to want, trying to force his square peg into a rainbow-colored hole. Didn't run from you Kyle, he told him silently, palming his own cock and his moan was far from silent. God, so good…
It didn't matter, not like this. Not with Kyle shuddering behind him, all damp skin and hard hands, sprawling over Connor's back to mouth at his ear while his hips glided against him. It was all Connor could do now not to beg, words hovering on his lips and he might have, might have let everything still unspoken between them pour out in one heated rush.
Kyle's sudden groan stopped him, a dark sound from deep in his throat and his arms tightened around Connor. One hand was trembling on Connor's jaw, forcing his head back against Kyle's shoulder and the edge of Kyle's teeth were against his throat, marking him and it was dizzyingly symbolic, almost touching him as much as the last staggering thrust inside him, the hot pulse of it as Kyle came, whimpering and shuddering against him.
His weight was too much to bear in the aftermath and Connor lowered the both of them on shaky arms to sprawl on the bed. He was barely comfortable, the feel of Kyle's heart pounding against his back oddly soothing, when Kyle abruptly pulled out of him. It felt like his insides would go with it and Connor couldn't hold back his hiss of pain.
"I'm sorry," Kyle whispered. A tentative hand curved into the shallow dip at the base of Connor's spine and he sighed appreciatively, silently moving against it in a request for more. Kyle obediently stroked him, trembling fingers drifting down his hip, pausing briefly at places that ached with bruises yet to come.
"Jesus, Connor, I didn't mean to …Christ, this is fucked up." He heard Kyle's hand tear through his hair in frustration, didn't have the energy to open his eyes and stop him.
"I don't care," he mumbled, lifting his head from his arms enough to repeat it clearly. "I don't care. Just want to sleep."
Kyle laughed shakily. "Are you kidding? I feel like I won't sleep in a week. I just pinned down my best friend and fucked him, after he spied on me blowing a complete stranger. There aren't even words for how fucked up that is."
"Sure there are, you just used them," Connor sighed, rolling over in resignation. Kyle met his eyes reluctantly, pale green against his own brighter eyes. "Look, it's…it's okay. It'll be okay."
"You sound remarkably confident."
"I'm terrified," Connor admitted. "And…I think I might be gay."
Kyle rolled his eyes. "There's a revelation." And before Connor could get irritated, "You aren't gay. I just about screwed you sideways; do you think I'm gay?"
Well…no, to be honest. Jenn and Donna seemed to be a pretty loud protest against it.
"There's nothing wrong with playing both sides of the field. Stop fretting so much about what other people think. It's very unzen of you." Kyle yawned and settled back down next to him. Adrenaline could only last for so long. "Don't know why you care so much about being gay, anyway."
"I just hate it when other people are right," Connor whispered to him. He managed to reach down and snag a blanket without detangling himself from Kyle, covering both of their cooling bodies.
Kyle's head came up abruptly. "What were you coming over for at midnight, anyway?"
Connor opened his mouth and shut it abruptly. "It doesn't matter."
"Mmhmm," Amused eyes met his. "What's her name?"
"It's not like that she…she's sort of my dad's ex. Not really," he muttered. "She's an assassin and she raped him and had a so-" Kyle's hand over his mouth silenced him.
"Connor, I have one piece of advice. Stay here with me and be gay. Trust me on this."
"All right." It was surprisingly easy to agree, easier to lay his head down on Kyle's chest and close his eyes. The quiet thud of his heartbeat soothed him and Connor listened to it for a long time, breathing in their sweat and sex. Something kept him from sleeping though, something…
Quietly, Connor slipped from the bed and closed the window. The shade followed it, blocking out the light from outside. Slipping back into the bed, it was a matter of a moment to resume his position and Kyle's sleepy, contented murmured calmed him.
Just stay here and be gay, like it was the easiest thing in the world.
Yeah. He could do that.
-finis-
by Keelywolfe
Fandom: DC Universe
Pairing: Connor/Kyle, (Green Arrow/Green Lantern)
Rated NC-17
Disclaimer: I do not own these characters. Just playing with them. Thank you.
Summary: One should be careful about peering into keyholes and windows.
Notes: This is set after Connor Hawke: Dragon's Blood. For those of you who haven't read it, that means before One Year Later while Kyle is still living in New York. (And tell me, wasn't it brilliant to see Connor looking like himself? Yummy, yum.)
~*~
He wasn't quite sure how this happened, not really.
It wasn't the first time he'd ventured into Kyle's apartment by way of the window or even the fifth time but somewhere along the way of this becoming a pattern, he'd forgotten that other people did things in their bedrooms aside from sleeping and yoga. Sometimes people used those beds for other things or maybe didn't even use the bed at all.
Sometimes people like Kyle might be sprawled on the floor doing…he didn't know. He hadn't looked that long, had only seen blond hair and bare skin before he'd jerked back to lean against the wall on the side of the window.
His own little personal crisis somehow seemed a lot less of the 'midnight conversation' type. He could possibly just forget this whole thing and come see Kyle in the morning. Probably would have left already but there were these little sounds carrying through the barely-opened window, low and base, edged with something like desperation and he should go, should have been gone minutes ago.
That sound, not Kyle and-
(how did he know, how could he imagine Kyle's voice)
Masculine voice, murmured words that Connor couldn't make out, and he had to look. It wasn't wrong, he told himself, he knew so little of passion; it was possible he could mistake it for violence, wasn't it? Could he forgive himself later if Kyle was dying and Connor had been just on the other side of the window, like Alice hiding from the looking glass?
And he looked.
The light drifting through the open bedroom door was thin, carrying from the kitchen, maybe, or the studio. It's enough, more than enough, for him to see shadowed figures kneeling on the floor. The pale gleam of blond hair, young face with a straggly beard and an open mouth biting off sounds as his pale fingers writhed in dark hair. Kyle's hair and Connor might still be a virgin,
(mostly, a difficult point to argue when he isn't sure himself)
But he knew what Kyle was doing. Knew exactly what the motions of his head stood for, stuttering up and down, seesawing beneath the blond's clutching hands. Dark tufts of hair poked out between those fingers, wavering like little flags in motion that Connor couldn't tear his eyes from. Little sounds carried to him through the glass, the blond biting his lower lip barely stifling them and he drew up one knee, partially blocking his view of Kyle's head and breaking the spell.
Connor's fingers were cramping; he realized it belatedly and had to concentrate on relaxing his grip on the stone ledge. He only looked away a bare moment, resettling himself on the ledge but by the time he looked back, he saw he'd missed the end, saw the blond cupping Kyle's face and they were talking, too low to hear even though he strained, hunching closer and…
What was he doing?
Connor jerked away from the window with a silent gasp, cracking his head against the bricks hard enough that his vision sparkled. He rubbed the aching spot furiously, muting the pain as best as he could, and then simply left his hand there and let it clench in his hair. Stupid, stupid, like a chant in the back of his head. Had he really just sat outside a window and watched one of his closest friends have sex? It was obscene, an invasion of privacy that he could scarcely conceive of in himself.
It was time to go, now, and later he could meditate on what all this meant because it had to mean something, he wasn't like this, not sex-obsessed like…
"Not even going to say hi?"
It was almost too much of a shock at this one moment and Connor nearly fell off the ledge in what would have been an unpleasant two-story drop. Would have if strong fingers hadn't grabbed his arm and steadied him.
Strong fingers and a familiar voice.
It was harder than he expected to open his eyes. He let his hand drop from his head and braced himself more firmly against the wall instead, kept his eyes low until they wandered over to the bare feet next to him. Startled, he looked up and saw Kyle was still in his plain clothes, shirt unbuttoned and blowing softly around him.
"What are you doing?" Connor whispered furiously. He might be able to blend into the shadows around the window but Kyle's pale shirt and skin would be a glowing advertisement for someone to call the police.
"This is my window, I have every right to be here," Kyle pointed out easily. He shifted, little getting-comfy gestures as he settled himself on the narrow ledge.
"I meant that it would be suspicious if someone saw you talking to me out of your uniform."
Kyle laughed softly, his eyes glittering darkly in the streetlight. "That didn't stop you from creeping around my window in the wee hours of the night, did it?"
No, but he had an excuse for that. Had an excuse, could maybe explain being here but-
Kyle was still watching him, still lounging on the window ledge like it was a perfectly comfortable place to be instead of cold brick and mortar. Except if Kyle was here, alone, then where--
"Are you all right?" Connor hadn't actually meant to ask that. He was very sure he'd meant to apologize or explain but since he hadn't, he might as well wait for an answer.
"Not really." Kyle drew one leg up and rested his chin on it. "You?"
"I don't know," Connor told him, honestly. "I didn't mean to-"
Fingertips on his lips silenced him, cool and damp, smelling of sweat and something that no one had to tell Connor was sex. "Come inside."
He went. Stood uncertainly in the dark bedroom while Kyle stripped off his shirt and tossed it at a hamper. Another shirt, scooped up from the floor followed it, various clothes scattered across the room trailing after.
"I met him in a bookstore, if you can believe it," Kyle was saying, jerking the sheets off the bed and sending them after the clothes. He sat down on the bare mattress, sprawled back on his elbows. "Some poetry night bullshit. I can't stand that crap but I wanted to be somewhere else for a while, you know? Somewhere with people who aren't actively trying to kill me. He just sat down with me and started talking about anime verses American cartoons and I-"
"Stop," Connor tried, barely a sound that Kyle ignored.
"I asked him if he'd come home with me and he did. He was pretty enough and blond and I wanted-"
"Stop it!"
"I wanted to blow someone, all right?" Kyle snarled, sitting up and his hands were tight on his knees, trying not to grab something, Connor thought, and he swayed towards him without thinking, actually took a step. Kyle's barking laugh stopped him. "And of all the nights for you to show up, you picked tonight. Isn't that fantastic? I didn't even realize you were there at first, you know that? I was just going to town on this guy's dick and I don't even know his name!"
"Kyle-" The whine in his own voice stopped him and Connor had no idea what he was supposed to say.
"I saw you out there after he came," Almost dreamily, Kyle's fingers stroking his knees absently. One hand drifted up to his chest, fingers moving lazily over bare skin. "I was kneeling there with the taste in my mouth and saw your shadow. I could have-" faint green glow from his hand, illuminating the pallor of his skin. Irish blood, from his mother's side, Connor recalled, watched that hand drift lower, resting lightly on Kyle's belly. "I could have done a lot. But you stayed."
"I didn't mean to."
"But you did. You're here."
"I just wanted to talk," Connor told him. It was the truth; he hadn't meant for any of this to happen. But then, neither had Kyle.
Another laugh, hard-edged and cool. "I'm tired of talking to you, Connor."
"I'm your friend."
"You've been running away from me since we've met."
That stung, the bitter accusation in it and he had never, he and Kyle were friends and had been for the better part of two years.
"Connor?" Kyle was leaning back on one elbow, his free hand drifting low on his belly, stroking the fine line of dark hair to where it disappeared beneath his waistband. "Come here."
"I can't-" he started, shook his head. He wasn't gay, he and Kyle were friends.
"Don't run away from me anymore." Low, pleading, and his eyes refused to move from Kyle's fingers as they nimbly opened the buttons on his pants, dipped under the denim and moved beneath it.
He hadn't meant to step forward, Connor knew that. He hadn't meant to do any of this. But he was still here, bow and quiver clattering to the floor as he clumsily shrugged out of them and he was reaching for Kyle with his own hands, cleaner than Kyle's.
The bed felt too soft beneath him, Kyle's mouth hard and unforgiving on his own and it didn't taste different than it should, nothing underlying the plain human taste of what he was but Connor still shuddered in disgust at the thrust of his tongue. Licked at it with his own, wanted it clean and fresh and purer, but he couldn't let it go now. Kyle's hair was soft and cool in his hands, holding him still for kisses that Connor couldn't stop.
"Wanted this," Kyle breathed into his mouth, teeth catching on Connor's lips as spoke. "Wanted this so fucking much." He was heavy on top of Connor, his weight pushing their hips together, denim scraping against the heavier material of his uniform and Connor wanted it gone, scrabbled between them and his knuckles were against the bare skin of Kyle's belly, dragging a moan from both of them.
"Please," Connor managed to choke out, trying to work Kyle's jeans down along with his own pants, too lost in this to do either and he could only jerk on the material helplessly. Green light flared to life, surrounding them both and he heard the hiss of ripping fabric, barely cared that every seam of their clothing had torn out simultaneously because they were both suddenly naked against each other.
Kyle's hand was between them, moving restlessly over Connor's cock and down to stroke between his legs, pressing up behind his balls at a place that was suddenly terribly sensitive. He thrashed up against him, felt the heat of Kyle's cock against his bare hip and tried to reach for it. Couldn't. His hands refused to move from the bed and he didn't have time to even wonder at why before Kyle had wrapped his hand around him and every thought in his head shattered away.
The hard scrape of the edge of his ring on each upstroke was deliciously unbearable, too-tight grip and Kyle's mouth hot on his ear, mumbling obscenities that Connor only half-understood.
"Come on, come on," Kyle chanted softly, the sound spilling over Connor's skin, heating him. "Come on, you bastard, come for me, want to feel this, come on!"
His grip shifted, the ring digging into sensitive skin and sending a blaze of sensation to sizzle at Connor's spine. Connor choked off a cry, wondered if this was what insanity felt like and he finally, finally obeyed Kyle's frenzied command, arched his hips and came in a rush of wet, glossy heat.
Dazed, Connor didn't murmur so much as a protest as he was suddenly flipped over, the wetness on his belly suddenly a mess beneath him. A knee between his legs edged them apart, Kyle's mouth damp against his spine but it was the fingers slipping lower that had his attention, pressing against his ass and then inside, burning that didn't ease as one finger became two, pushing into him.
"I'm going to fuck you," Softly, matter of fact against his ear. "Have to."
"Kyle," Connor whimpered, unsure if he was going to protest but he had to say something.
"I have to," Kyle insisted, his fingers sweet-brutal as they thrust in again. "I've waited a long time and you barely even believe this is real."
He didn't. He couldn't even argue it because it was painfully true and the smell of their sex was just like the scent he'd caught from Kyle's skin, was it only a half hour ago? More? Less? Time seemed to have gotten tangled along the way and Connor could only gasp as Kyle's fingers slipped out of him, too-dry pain easing as they returned slick. Hot and deep inside him, good, he admitted helplessly. Really, really good when they finally slipped away and something else, Kyle's cock his bleating mind informed him, started edging inside him.
Too much, too big, too much pressure and the burn was worse, bad enough to make him gasp and move, pushing back against it. Gay gay gay, his mind blared, too loudly after its silence of the past few minutes that had allowed him to get here. Completely gay to be arching into it, wanting to be filled even deeper, until Kyle's hips slapped against his own, soft bare skin like a caress.
"Did…didn't," he stammered out on an exhale, dragging in another breath and words abandoned him completely at the first real thrust, Kyle's hands on his hips pulling him back into it, God, perfect right there. Didn't want to want his, a bitter little thought inside him. If Kyle had asked, he could have told him, not quite as oblivious as Kyle seemed to think. Was anyone that naive?
But he didn't want to want this, that persistent little whine insisted. He'd never wanted to be on his knees, sliding on the sweat between them as Kyle moved inside him. Had never wanted to be pigeon-holed into this like everyone else seemed to want, trying to force his square peg into a rainbow-colored hole. Didn't run from you Kyle, he told him silently, palming his own cock and his moan was far from silent. God, so good…
It didn't matter, not like this. Not with Kyle shuddering behind him, all damp skin and hard hands, sprawling over Connor's back to mouth at his ear while his hips glided against him. It was all Connor could do now not to beg, words hovering on his lips and he might have, might have let everything still unspoken between them pour out in one heated rush.
Kyle's sudden groan stopped him, a dark sound from deep in his throat and his arms tightened around Connor. One hand was trembling on Connor's jaw, forcing his head back against Kyle's shoulder and the edge of Kyle's teeth were against his throat, marking him and it was dizzyingly symbolic, almost touching him as much as the last staggering thrust inside him, the hot pulse of it as Kyle came, whimpering and shuddering against him.
His weight was too much to bear in the aftermath and Connor lowered the both of them on shaky arms to sprawl on the bed. He was barely comfortable, the feel of Kyle's heart pounding against his back oddly soothing, when Kyle abruptly pulled out of him. It felt like his insides would go with it and Connor couldn't hold back his hiss of pain.
"I'm sorry," Kyle whispered. A tentative hand curved into the shallow dip at the base of Connor's spine and he sighed appreciatively, silently moving against it in a request for more. Kyle obediently stroked him, trembling fingers drifting down his hip, pausing briefly at places that ached with bruises yet to come.
"Jesus, Connor, I didn't mean to …Christ, this is fucked up." He heard Kyle's hand tear through his hair in frustration, didn't have the energy to open his eyes and stop him.
"I don't care," he mumbled, lifting his head from his arms enough to repeat it clearly. "I don't care. Just want to sleep."
Kyle laughed shakily. "Are you kidding? I feel like I won't sleep in a week. I just pinned down my best friend and fucked him, after he spied on me blowing a complete stranger. There aren't even words for how fucked up that is."
"Sure there are, you just used them," Connor sighed, rolling over in resignation. Kyle met his eyes reluctantly, pale green against his own brighter eyes. "Look, it's…it's okay. It'll be okay."
"You sound remarkably confident."
"I'm terrified," Connor admitted. "And…I think I might be gay."
Kyle rolled his eyes. "There's a revelation." And before Connor could get irritated, "You aren't gay. I just about screwed you sideways; do you think I'm gay?"
Well…no, to be honest. Jenn and Donna seemed to be a pretty loud protest against it.
"There's nothing wrong with playing both sides of the field. Stop fretting so much about what other people think. It's very unzen of you." Kyle yawned and settled back down next to him. Adrenaline could only last for so long. "Don't know why you care so much about being gay, anyway."
"I just hate it when other people are right," Connor whispered to him. He managed to reach down and snag a blanket without detangling himself from Kyle, covering both of their cooling bodies.
Kyle's head came up abruptly. "What were you coming over for at midnight, anyway?"
Connor opened his mouth and shut it abruptly. "It doesn't matter."
"Mmhmm," Amused eyes met his. "What's her name?"
"It's not like that she…she's sort of my dad's ex. Not really," he muttered. "She's an assassin and she raped him and had a so-" Kyle's hand over his mouth silenced him.
"Connor, I have one piece of advice. Stay here with me and be gay. Trust me on this."
"All right." It was surprisingly easy to agree, easier to lay his head down on Kyle's chest and close his eyes. The quiet thud of his heartbeat soothed him and Connor listened to it for a long time, breathing in their sweat and sex. Something kept him from sleeping though, something…
Quietly, Connor slipped from the bed and closed the window. The shade followed it, blocking out the light from outside. Slipping back into the bed, it was a matter of a moment to resume his position and Kyle's sleepy, contented murmured calmed him.
Just stay here and be gay, like it was the easiest thing in the world.
Yeah. He could do that.
-finis-