Those SUM-UhM-ER NI-IIII-GHTS!
Last night, I went to Kristyn's house. We had a pretty awesome talk. I absolutely adore Miss Kristyn. We can talk about everything and anything and neither one of us has anything to worry about. If it's a secret, it's a secret. Enough said. Plus, we don't see each other all the time so there's always something for us to catch up on. We're similar in a lot of ways and that makes sharing easy. There's just something about her that makes me think, damn, she's good. I'm so glad that we've been able to remain close even after high school. She had several visitors while I was over including, Chris, Mallory, and Ryan. It was nice to catch up with them too!
Today was pretty standard. I woke up late, because my phone died before the alarm had a chance to drag me out of bed early. I went outside to the blackberry bush, I picked for about twenty minutes. I love picking berries. I like to think that the tree-bush grew because of the forbidden acts that occurred in my backyard a couple summers ago. By that, I mean, fraternizing with a non-boyfriend boy. It was magic, sparks flew but we didn't act irrationally in moments of possible passion. Still, I like to think that the bush grew from a wild feeling that happened deep inside of me during my youthful summer of forbidden romance. With a sigh, I'll tell you that he was delightful, adventurous, and an Eagle scout. I believed him to be capable of anything. He was good with children and he made me smile. He started out as a brotherly figure but then I started to feel something that just wasn't sisterly for him. Anyway, I like to pick berries from the backyard while standing on a ladder. Up there in the trees, I feel good, it makes me consider life and I can sing and bird watch while I'm there.
Later I went to Saginaw with my mom and sister. Mum wanted some new patterns for doll clothes and they were on sale. We also went to the Goodwill to see if we could find anything worth our time. I found a Calvin Klein skirt, new with tags. I was pretty excited about the prospect of cash it could bring. By that I mean Ebay. Erin called while I was there and I told her I'd call when I got back to Bay City.
When I got home I changed into jeans and drove over to Erin's house. I'm getting to be a much more confident driver. I've been driving the Benz, Kitty. Even though she needs work, I love driving her. I feel so formal, my Dad is a perfect doll for picking it out. I'm much more comfortable driving Kitty than Mum's van or Daddy's Aztec. Kitty is little, sleek, black, the perfect car for me. I couldn't have done better if I tried.
Anyway, I hung there for a while. Erin and I made a quick stop to my grandmother's to drop off Garden Tour tickets that her mom wanted to give away. Jan was more than thrilled to take them off Erin's hands. It was pretty amazing and I like knowing that my grandmother knows I was thinking of her. I'm not a total self-absorbed-bitch, I just have hard feelings knowing that I'll never compare to Lauren, the golden granddaughter. We made a pit stop at Meijer to pick up a few items and afterwards, we went back to Erin's where her boy, Eric and his friend, Mark happened to be. We made soup and cut bread and talked in her kitchen. Then, the four of us sat on her couch and watched Colbert, Futurama, Family Guy, and Robot Chicken. I headed home just after midnight.
Just in time to find my mother sitting at my computer talking on the telephone. She quietly informed me that Lauren and Brad had broken up. I wasn't entirely shocked but I still feel bad for Lo. Since she came home from Alma, she's been having a rough time. She'll be 21 on Sunday. I don't talk to her nearly enough. We never seem to be on the same page. Honestly, I thought she was easier to deal with when Brad was around. He hasn't been around much lately and when he was, they bickered. It's been a long time coming but I know there isn't a worse feeling than personal rejection.
Right after personal rejection comes self-loathing. It's that between period where you realize, "Holy shit, all of my defenses have been down and I'm broken." (I may have stolen that from Matt.) My sister is an isolated moper. She cries easily but she usually decides to do it on her own; locked in her bedroom. I never know what to say to her, with anyone else it's cake. But, with Lo it's different. She doesn't want to talk touchy-feely with me. I'm the baby sister, she's supposed to be the model for me, she's supposed to be strong. She has a pride about herself and I'll never break that barrier. Still, I know it must be awful. Brad's been a huge part of her life. He's been around since my Freshman year of high school. He took her to both of her Proms. He was her first boyfriend, her first everything (I think). He's been like a brother to me. I went to him for boy advice! He was always happy to hear my latest love interest tale. Now, who's gonna laugh at my social life? It's weird to consider the house without him. Yet, no matter how much I think it'll be different, it isn't even a fourth of how different life will be for Lauren. God bless her soul.
On that note, everyone else around me seems to be breaking up too. Matt and Jordan from school did. Matt seems to be out of sorts. I can't wait to visit the boys this weekend on the way home from Whitehall. It'll do them some good to have my cheerful face around. Stephanie and Jared have been at it too. They fight nonstop. And at almost 1am Steph called bawling saying that he had just left her house and that they had "talked". So basically, I'm under the impression that relationships just downright suck and I should be happy that I haven't been kissed in nearly five months. I forget how nice being single really is. I had been taking my single status for granted since the initial deterioration of my last relationship.
Sorry if my rants have been long and boring lately. I guess I'm just in a journaly mood.
Always,
Keegan Dale
Today was pretty standard. I woke up late, because my phone died before the alarm had a chance to drag me out of bed early. I went outside to the blackberry bush, I picked for about twenty minutes. I love picking berries. I like to think that the tree-bush grew because of the forbidden acts that occurred in my backyard a couple summers ago. By that, I mean, fraternizing with a non-boyfriend boy. It was magic, sparks flew but we didn't act irrationally in moments of possible passion. Still, I like to think that the bush grew from a wild feeling that happened deep inside of me during my youthful summer of forbidden romance. With a sigh, I'll tell you that he was delightful, adventurous, and an Eagle scout. I believed him to be capable of anything. He was good with children and he made me smile. He started out as a brotherly figure but then I started to feel something that just wasn't sisterly for him. Anyway, I like to pick berries from the backyard while standing on a ladder. Up there in the trees, I feel good, it makes me consider life and I can sing and bird watch while I'm there.
Later I went to Saginaw with my mom and sister. Mum wanted some new patterns for doll clothes and they were on sale. We also went to the Goodwill to see if we could find anything worth our time. I found a Calvin Klein skirt, new with tags. I was pretty excited about the prospect of cash it could bring. By that I mean Ebay. Erin called while I was there and I told her I'd call when I got back to Bay City.
When I got home I changed into jeans and drove over to Erin's house. I'm getting to be a much more confident driver. I've been driving the Benz, Kitty. Even though she needs work, I love driving her. I feel so formal, my Dad is a perfect doll for picking it out. I'm much more comfortable driving Kitty than Mum's van or Daddy's Aztec. Kitty is little, sleek, black, the perfect car for me. I couldn't have done better if I tried.
Anyway, I hung there for a while. Erin and I made a quick stop to my grandmother's to drop off Garden Tour tickets that her mom wanted to give away. Jan was more than thrilled to take them off Erin's hands. It was pretty amazing and I like knowing that my grandmother knows I was thinking of her. I'm not a total self-absorbed-bitch, I just have hard feelings knowing that I'll never compare to Lauren, the golden granddaughter. We made a pit stop at Meijer to pick up a few items and afterwards, we went back to Erin's where her boy, Eric and his friend, Mark happened to be. We made soup and cut bread and talked in her kitchen. Then, the four of us sat on her couch and watched Colbert, Futurama, Family Guy, and Robot Chicken. I headed home just after midnight.
Just in time to find my mother sitting at my computer talking on the telephone. She quietly informed me that Lauren and Brad had broken up. I wasn't entirely shocked but I still feel bad for Lo. Since she came home from Alma, she's been having a rough time. She'll be 21 on Sunday. I don't talk to her nearly enough. We never seem to be on the same page. Honestly, I thought she was easier to deal with when Brad was around. He hasn't been around much lately and when he was, they bickered. It's been a long time coming but I know there isn't a worse feeling than personal rejection.
Right after personal rejection comes self-loathing. It's that between period where you realize, "Holy shit, all of my defenses have been down and I'm broken." (I may have stolen that from Matt.) My sister is an isolated moper. She cries easily but she usually decides to do it on her own; locked in her bedroom. I never know what to say to her, with anyone else it's cake. But, with Lo it's different. She doesn't want to talk touchy-feely with me. I'm the baby sister, she's supposed to be the model for me, she's supposed to be strong. She has a pride about herself and I'll never break that barrier. Still, I know it must be awful. Brad's been a huge part of her life. He's been around since my Freshman year of high school. He took her to both of her Proms. He was her first boyfriend, her first everything (I think). He's been like a brother to me. I went to him for boy advice! He was always happy to hear my latest love interest tale. Now, who's gonna laugh at my social life? It's weird to consider the house without him. Yet, no matter how much I think it'll be different, it isn't even a fourth of how different life will be for Lauren. God bless her soul.
On that note, everyone else around me seems to be breaking up too. Matt and Jordan from school did. Matt seems to be out of sorts. I can't wait to visit the boys this weekend on the way home from Whitehall. It'll do them some good to have my cheerful face around. Stephanie and Jared have been at it too. They fight nonstop. And at almost 1am Steph called bawling saying that he had just left her house and that they had "talked". So basically, I'm under the impression that relationships just downright suck and I should be happy that I haven't been kissed in nearly five months. I forget how nice being single really is. I had been taking my single status for granted since the initial deterioration of my last relationship.
Sorry if my rants have been long and boring lately. I guess I'm just in a journaly mood.
Always,
Keegan Dale