It Feels of Summer
I just got home from visiting my Aunt and Uncle's in Pinconning. My Uncle's setting up work for me. I'm actually quite excited about it. He doesn't think dog walking would give me any cash, with gas prices every penny I earn will be sucked away. Instead, he wants to employ me for one day a week doing odd jobs like lawn mowing, laundry, dishes, bathroom and kitchen counter cleanup. I LOVE to clean! There's nothing like pouring a bunch of chemicals on a hard surface and watching the ceramic top shine. Laundry folding is another area that I excel in. I love the smell of clean laundry. Mowing the lawn isn't that great but I'd get to drive the rider, I've never done that before. Plus, this will give me some sense of stability. I thrive on a schedule. It'll be fantastic to know I'm expected at a certain time and that there are chores to be done. I like having a sense of personal responsibility, it makes me feel good inside. I know it sounds crazy but I can't help how I get my kicks.
I've been waiting to hear back from Goodwill, the local movie theater, and the Salvation Army. It looks like I'm out of luck. I don't have any pull in this town. My dad works for a company based out of state and my mom's biggest job has been being a mom full time for the last eight years. Then, there's this problem with financial aid. My dad makes too much for me to get any help so I've taken out loans, which makes it sound like I'll be in debt for the rest of my life. It's unfortunate how the middle class kid gets screwed over when it comes to college. I'm sorry I didn't get knocked up in high school and I'm sorry I'm not married so I can claim my husband's income instead of my parents, I'm sorry my parents didn't get divorced when I was young so that I could claim my mother's teeny salary as what we live off of. Need based usually means not working hard enough. That's what's wrong with America. It's no wonder any company that wants to get something done does it from China, Japan, and Indonesia.
Mum's thinking about opening an Ebay store. That would mean full time employment for me! Technically, I would be living in my office. She wants to sell wholesale fabric. In the last couple days I've been listing stuff for her. It has mostly been children's clothing and doll clothes. I like the idea of getting up early on weekends and hitting garage sales and turning items into cash. I even like the idea of shopping with Lo during the week at thrift stores. I really desperately want to find a purpose.
I need a reason to wake up in the morning. I need to know that there is something for me to do. Next week I plan to start structuring my life a little better. I'm ready for my summer to start and I'm ready to rake in some money. I'm not saying that you can buy my affection but I don't want to end up like my parents when it comes to bills. It seems like there are an eternity of bills to be paid. My mother is forever worried that my father's checks won't come in time. I don't want to grow up to be that.
In a lot of ways I hope I do turn into my mother. I hope I can be as smart as her. I hope I can be as resourceful as my dad. I hope I know how to fix things when they break. I hope I can love my children as much as they love Lo and me. I hope I can provide for my children the way that they have for me. But at the same time, I keep listening to the mistakes they made financially and I can't help but think, there's got to be a way to beat this system. My first step will be moving away. Sure, I might take a boy from Bay City with me but I don't want to be here when there's nothing left of this nobody town.
That seems like a decent rant for one evening. Tomorrow I'm attending another one of Kayla's famous picnic parties. Tomorrow is the last day of school for most of my high school friends. Saturday I'm attending the first Grad Party of the season's (Ryan's). Sunday morning I'm going back to Pinconning to negotiate labor and wages with my Uncle. I can't wait!
Keegan Dale