GW Fic: Death on a Tropical Island 1/1
Title: Death on a Tropical Island
Notes: G, 1+2, Humour, introspective, romance, spoilers for EW, despite what the title might imply it's not a deathfic, no beta
Continuation of the 'Post War Arc': After receiving the first enigmatic email from Heero in eighteen months, Duo sets out to Earth to search for his friend. On this little journey, Duo may gain something more than a renewed friendship.
~*~
The sun was at its zenith, the sky was clear and I was hotter than a cat on a hot tin roof. I had to admire the local residents. How they managed to function in this kind of equatorial climate was beyond me. I was dying in the heat wearing nothing more than a tank top and a pair of cut-off jeans and they were walking around in suits! If I took any more clothes off I'd undoubtedly be arrested for indecent exposure.
I suppose it was no surprise that a colony brat like me was wilting. The climate on the L2 colonies was often cold and clammy. If you didn't survive the cold, you just didn't survive. I grew accustomed to the chill quickly and strutting around in this tropical heat was no fun. I seriously began wondering what in God's good name I was doing running around the streets of Penang in this ungodly weather?
One word sprang to mind - Heero.
Eighteen months after pulling a Houdini on us, he resurfaced. Well sort of, and not just giving me the odd vague sign and fuzzy hint that he was still alive, that he hadn't really blown himself up or thrown himself off a 60-storey building. He actually wrote to me! Okay, it was the one-liner email that went along the lines of 'Hi, how are you? I am fine' but this is Mr. Verbose we were talking about! I didn't spend all that time working with him without knowing how to read him. And that read, 'Come find me'.
Okay, maybe I was flattering myself. Maybe I was imagining things and all he REALLY wanted to know was how I was. Nonetheless, I was never one to back down from an excuse to find Heero. That in itself was a challenge. It was a big game of hide-and-seek and I liked games.
During the war, it was infinitely easier to track each other down. Yes, even when we were the most wanted terrorists, with every conceivable government, resistance cell or mercenary group eyeing us like trophies. What with the state of the art technology we had at our disposal, finding each other was as easy as pie. These days, we used nothing more than our well-honed senses and peerless skills to do the job the old fashioned way. It was more fun and more rewarding yet more frustrating - yeah, I'm a self-confessed masochist.
Sometimes I did wonder if I was only doing this to purge the boredom and discontentment that was building up in me. The 'quiet life' really didn't suit me well.
Sure, I owned one of the most successful salvage yards in space but what did that bring me apart from an indecent amount of money? I was bored of shuffling paper and balancing ledgers. An incredibly efficient and competent team managed my business; they don't need me to hold their hands. Due to my dedication to my work, my social life went from slow to non-existent. I couldn't even keep up with old friends, friends that meant the world to me, friends whom I would've died for during the war. Now, I don't even know half their email addresses.
Call me crazy but this world of peace seemed so ... cold.
I sighed and swept my fringe from my face impatiently. I was practically dripping with perspiration and I was not a happy bunny. It must have been BAD for me to actually thought that how much cooler it would be without my braid.
Shuddering at the mere notion of cutting my hair, I quickly ducked into the nearest shop. Shops often had air-conditioning, thank God! I had a sneaking suspicion that it was to lure patrons into their shops, if all other marketing ploys failed.
I stood blinking stupidly for a moment - the inside of the shop was brighter than the sunlit streets! Almost immediately I was waylaid. She was short, probably no more than 5'1", plump with large round eyes magnified by even larger coke bottle glasses and a mop of black curly hair. She smiled at me with a predatory grin.
"Welcome to Wong's Jewellers, can I help?" her voice thick with the Malaysian accent that I've grown accustomed to.
Uh... I actually faltered! Me! Falter? The heat was really getting to my head.
"Are you looking for a gift or something for yourself?" she continued, ignoring my look of utter bewilderment. I didn't want to buy anything; I just wanted to get out of the sun!
"Maybe something for your wife?"
What?!? "I don't have a wife," I said.
"Girlfriend then?"
Man, she's persistent. "No, no girlfriend either."
"Handsome man like you cannot be single."
Why not? I asked myself, but I found myself saying, "Thank you," instead. "If you don't mind, I'd like to browse for a moment."
She looked positively scandalised, almost like I had insulted her! So shoot me if I don't want you hanging around me while I took advantage of your lovely, welcoming cool air. Shoo! Go away.
"If you need me - "
"I know where to find you, thank you."
With a look that carried the venom of a thousand black widows, she left me - reluctantly. I could only surmise that they received commission for each sale they made. I was also guessing that being foreign, she thought she could take advantage of my gullibility. I'm not about to be hoodwinked into buying jewellery that I don't need. And I don't need jewellery.
I moved around the store examining the array of gold, silver and platinum they had. Some were tasteful, most of them simply too garish. Just as I browsed, a small delicate bracelet caught my eye. It was a charm bracelet with the twelve animals of the Chinese horoscope. Crafted from a mix of yellow and white gold, I thought it would look really nice on Hilde.
Her birthday was coming up soon... well, in about six months time, but who's counting? I purchased the bracelet and pair of matching earrings.
After leaving the jewellers, I found my way to a small restaurant, amusingly called 'Anywhere'. It smelled heavenly of freshly ground coffee and a mix of cakes. I ordered an iced Mocha and a large bowl of cookies and cream ice cream topped with shaved dark chocolate, freshly whipped cream and a cherry.
While waiting for my order, I took out my recent purchase and examined it, hoping that Hilde would like them.
I sighed. I had missed having Hilde around. During the wars, we both honestly thought that we would spend the rest of our lives together. I cared for her deeply as she did for me. But no matter what we did or how we tried, we both noticed that the passion was missing. I love her to bits, and I would very likely do anything for her but I didn't fall in love with her. Just like she wasn't in love with me. We were a great team, if it weren't for Hilde I don't think the yard would've taken off as well as it did. Like they say, behind every successful man is a great woman - or something like that... proverbs, sayings and clichés never really did stick to my brain.
Eight months ago, she moved out. It was inevitable. We had long decided that we could be no more than best friend or 'siblings' to each other. She felt awkward dating while staying with me. God forbid I should hold her back in her pursuit of happiness. First she moved across town, and then she moved away from the colony. She had wanted to pursue a career in art; I encouraged her to get her degree and helped pay her fees. Well, considering she did help me with my business, funding her college education was the very least I could do.
She was currently in California, about six months into her first year. She kept me updated with everything - from her lectures to her housemates, from her new friends to the current hot-bod that she had spotted on campus. I was really glad to know that someone could be so open and honest and completely comfortable with me. I was even more relieved that I could feel the same with her too. I don't think I would've been this successful, in work and in life, without her.
Yes, I missed her so much, but at least we hadn't drifted apart. Yet.
Digging into the ice cream, I found blessed relief. It was what I really needed. After polishing off my ice cream and coffee I thought I had better get some work done. I wasn't on Earth for a holiday; I was supposed to be tracking down a friend who was too damned proud to admit that he needed friends. I began to feel guilty for taking the day to explore the heart of Georgetown. What was I thinking? That I would hopefully bump into him while shopping in the mall?
Well, everyone was entitled a break. I've been on his trail from Japan to China, from Philippines to Vietnam, from Cambodia to Thailand finally ending up in Malaysia. If I didn't know him better I would've though he was doing a Far East tour! What in the world was he looking for? His past? His heritage? If that were true, would he not have stayed in Japan?
Then again, maybe not. Heero confessed that didn't know for sure if he was Japanese at all. He knew he wasn't all together Oriental, the blue eyes were a dead giveaway but he was told that he came from a Japanese ancestry. The person who told him was none other than his first guardian that he remembered - Odin Lowe. Heero told me he had no reason to doubt that but he had no reason to believe him either.
I paid the bill and hailed a cab. If I wanted to do any real tracking I would need some place that I could actually work without my brain frying. I instructed the cabbie to take me back to the hotel.
~*~
Gotcha!
I whooped in triumph. Six hours, half a dozen glasses of iced coffee and four bowls of Haagen Daaz Baylis ice cream later, I traced Heero to the Mutiara Hotel, just a few of miles away from me on the north coast of the island. Although I did stumble on some false leads and dead ends, I thought my find did seem a little too easy for Heero's standard. That convinced me further that he wanted to be found - but only by me. The traps he laid would've stumped the others but he understood the methodologies I invented and employed in tracking and made sure that I found him before the others would, if indeed they were even searching for him.
I doubted that. I knew Wu Fei would have better and more important things to do with the Preventers than to play 'Hunt the Heero'. Quatre had also just started university in Imperial College, London. I was sure he was too busy with his new adventure to join in the game as well. As for Trowa, I hadn't heard from him in nine months, not since he sent me a postcard at the beginning of his sabbatical from the circus. Even if they would make the effort, I wasn't sure if Heero would've sent them the same seemingly innocent email in the first place.
I checked the time on my notebook and realised that it was just gone eleven. The night was still young - well sort of. In any case, I wasn't going to wait till morning to say 'Tag, you're it'. I've already spent eight weeks looking for him. Knowing my luck, if I waited he would've upped and left at the crack of dawn. I threw on a decent pair of trousers and a clean shirt and raced to the door. I hopped into the first cab I spotted and we sped to the Mutiara Hotel.
I rang the bell to room 701 and waited patiently for an answer. For all I knew, he could be asleep, but somehow I doubted that Heero actually slept. After waiting a minute or two - that was sufficient time for rolling out of bed to answer the door - I rang the bell again.
Still no answer.
I knew he hadn't checked out because it was the front desk that directed me to this room and reassured me that he hadn't. They couldn't have gotten it wrong, could they?
The bell chimed a third time and I was continuously greeted by silence. Shrugging, I left the hallway. I wasn't going to sit there like a fool waiting for him. If anything I would rather enjoy a nightcap down in the lounge where I heard a string-piano quartet was playing. If he was out, he would very likely check in at the front desk before going up to his room. I left a message with the concierge.
The lounge was nearly empty. A retired couple sat with their tea and the pair of young lovers was probably whispering sweet nothings in each other ears. The quartet played a nice selection of classical. I recognised a few composers like Vivaldi, Strauss and Beethoven. I settled myself at the table that would give me a view of the front desk. That way I could keep an eye out for Heero if he didn't stop at the door to collect his messages.
The music was soothing, the ambient lighting dim and after a few glasses of Mai Tai, I was beginning to feel the adrenalin and excitement drain from me. In fact, I knew if I didn't get up I would very well fall asleep in my cocktail.
I checked my watch, the glowing hand show me 12.30 a.m. I left the lounge knowing full well that I needed to walk the lethargy off if I still wanted to wait for Heero. Where could he be at this early hour of the morning? As if I couldn't guess - probably indulging in some less than legitimate activities like hacking into the national bank or planning a heist, just to see if he still had it in him.
I slipped my moccasins off and abandoned them next to a lamppost by the wooden path that lead to the beach. The powdery sand felt cool under my bare feet and the air was cool and crisp. Despite my earlier complains and bitching about the climate, I could not deny how wonderful it felt when night fell. The night was still warm but the salty sea breeze took the humidity from it. The moon was full and the sky clear. Away from the artificial illumination of the city centre, each star seemed to sparkle with a new vigour. No man made sound permeated the serenity of the night. It was simply beautiful.
I had never truly had an appreciation of the beach until my visit to the Pearl of the Orient - as this idyllic island was aptly dubbed. It gave me a calm that I never knew I could find in nature. I guess I missed out a lot for being a colony brat, L2 didn't offer a lot of greenery or beaches.
I lay down on the sand to gaze at the moon, the great white orb with flecks of grey in it. They say you can see a man in the moon in Europe and the Moon Goddess in China. I squinted and cocked my head, trying to decide if I saw either. What I saw was a fluffy, grey bunny rabbit. I giggled. Of all the things to see, I see a bunny rabbit on a great chunk of rock that had housed one of history's greatest factories for weapons of destruction? Sometimes, even I scare myself.
I sighed wearily wishing that I could share this glorious scene with someone. Anyone. Hilde would have loved the glittering sand, which look like it had great potential for doing things from building castles to sculpting the Venus de Milo. Quatre would have appreciated the starry sky while naming the constellations. Wu Fei would revel in the calm surroundings of nature seemingly untouched by man. Trowa, he would be in the still-warm ocean paddling to his heart's content. As for Heero... I wasn't altogether sure which aspect of the scene would appeal to him.
I snorted. So much for me knowing him well. I was so sure what the others would like, but when it came to Heero and his personal preferences, I drew a blank. Perhaps it was because of all of us, he guarded his heart the fiercest. During the war, at one point or another, each and every one of us found someone to confide in. Even if the liaison did not last, I was certain it gave us a measure of comfort and sanity. I had Hilde, Trowa grew closer to Catherine, I heard that Quatre confided in Noin during his stay in the Sanq Kingdom and even Wu Fei opened his heart to Sally. At times we turned to each other as well but whom did Heero turn to? I seriously doubted he went to Relena and he certainly didn't come to any of us.
I kept my doors open for him as did Quatre but neither one of us could force him through it, not for the lack of trying though. He was either too arrogant or too scared. Whatever the reason, neither one of us pushed him. We all had our own grand adventure to pursue.
Thinking about it, I felt kind of guilty. Heero would never cry out for help, not in a way most people would associate as a cry for help anyway. He would simply put everything under lock and key and just wait for it to disappear. Problem was, things that needed to go under lock and key never disappear. They just fester and mutate and make life even more difficult than it already is.
Yup, that's the good ol' guilt thingy hammering in my heart.
I sat up and began rolling the hem of my trousers up. For some reason, I had a sudden urge to wade in the salty water, feel the squishy, soggy sand between my toes and act like a complete child. Well, seeing I missed out on my 'real' childhood, I wanted to make up for it whenever I could.
I ran down to the shoreline but stopped just before the water, watching, waiting. As the tide came in, I scurried back up the beach. I giggled to myself. Yes, childish indeed. I continued to play 'tag' with the sea; running up and down following the tide until an unexpectedly large wave came crashing on me. I was wet knee down and I only rolled my trousers up to my shins.
"That's what you get for teasing," a voice startled me. I must be losing my edge to have someone sneak up on me like that. Having said that, that someone was one Heero Yuy.
"Life is no fun without teasing," I grinned.
Surprisingly, he smiled back at me.
I sashayed up to him and stopped a couple of feet away. Under the pale moonlight, Heero looked good. He stood about 5'10", his stature still lean and athletic. His once unruly and untamed hair was cropped; the only evidence of his wild mop was several inches of fringe that fell over his eyes. His adolescent delicate good looks had matured into chiselled gorgeousness. Even as I was greeted by the vision of exotic elegance, I was saddened to find that the piercing sapphires no longer carried the passion that once would not be quelled. Apart from that, he was looking well.
"It's good to see you, Duo," he said.
"Likewise," I replied.
"So..."
"So... what have you been up to?"
"A little of this, a bit of that."
"Uh, huh," I nodded absently.
"What brings you to Penang?" he asked.
"As if you didn't know," I grinned.
"I don't know what you're talking about."
"Now, who's teasing?"
He blushed. Heero Yuy BLUSHED!
Damn, I'm good. I took a step closer to him and noticed a faint whiff of cigarette smoke and beer. I looked at him incredulously. Had he been in a club? What is this world coming to?!
"Have you been clubbing?" I asked, I tried to but I couldn't for my life wipe the smirk off my face.
He turned away from me, his cheeks burning even more.
"Heero!" I lay my hand gently on his arm, "I'm sorry. I'm not making fun. Honestly, I'm not! I'm just surprised. Don't be angry."
He shrugged nonchalantly, his eyes on his shoes.
"Hey," I turned him around to face me again, "Did you enjoy yourself?"
"No, it was too noisy and there were too many people there. The music was bad, and the girls wouldn't leave me alone."
I couldn't help but laugh! Trust Heero to go to a club and pick out all those things, "So why did you go then?"
"I thought YOU might be there."
ME? He was looking for me? How many surprises can a man take in one night?
"Hang on," I said, "I thought I was doing the seeking and you were doing the hiding."
"You were taking too long, I got bored."
"Oh excuuuuse me, Mr. Paranoia-I-cover-my-tracks-like-I'm-a- criminal!" I retorted, "You didn't exactly give me a lot to go on you know."
"I thought you liked a challenge," he smirked.
"There's a very fine line between a challenge and Mission: Impossible."
"You tracked me here, so it can't have been impossible," he replied flippantly and sank into the sand.
I took a seat beside him, "You are so pedantic, it's infuriating. Do you have to take everything I say literally?"
"I don't like playing games. Say what you mean and mean what you say."
"It's called being creative with words, Heero," I rolled my eyes.
"I've been told that I have no sense of creativity."
I snorted, "Are you kidding? Just because you aren't throwing paint against a canvass or writing the next symphony doesn't mean you aren't creative. You've gotten us out of more fixes in ways that even the best of us would not have imagined,"
I heard something that sounded suspiciously like chuckle. This was a night full of surprises - first he blushes then he chuckles! Not his usual maniacal, hysterical, I'm going to kill you laugh; there was genuine mirth in this one.
"Now I remember why I missed you."
WHU? Did he just say he missed me?
He continued, "You always have a way of making me feel good about myself no matter how deep I am in the abyss of depression,"
I could feel his penetrating gaze on me, but something that felt suspiciously like fear kept me from looking back. Me? Afraid to look at him? How ridiculous!
"Thank you, Duo, for coming after me," he sighed, "Time and time again,"
"Hey, you would've done the same for me," I shrugged dismissively, determined not to let the anxiety take over my senses.
"I would, but you would not have asked me to."
"What?" I frowned at him, "What is that supposed to mean?"
"I wouldn't be the first person you would go to if you were ever in need of someone,"
Ok, that was true, I could not deny that, but can you blame me? He was not an easy person to find, he would never allow anyone to keep tabs on him. If and when I wanted someone, I would want them N-O-W! I wouldn't have the frame of mind to be looking for him when I needed a shoulder to cry on.
"It's okay," he finally said when I didn't respond, "I am not as easily accessible as the others."
"Took the words right out of my mouth." I grinned at him.
"Would you have come to me if I had been there?" he asked in a hush whisper.
To say I was baffled would be an understatement. Was he looking for acceptance? He should've known that he would always be accepted and welcomed, not only by me but by the others as well. Should've being the operative word. Did we ever tell him that he was welcomed? I shuddered when I could not find the memory of me explicitly telling him that. Is that why he went Houdini on us? Because he did not feel he had a place with us?
"Heero," I turned to peer into his eyes and asked in a voice as quiet as his, "You do know that I cherish your friendship, don't you?"
"I guess."
"There is no doubt about it. We've been through a lot together; something a trivial as your absence did not diminish it. I don't deny that having you close by or even the ability to reach you whenever I wanted to would have been nice. Nevertheless, we all had to go our own way to find our own calling before we came back together. If indeed that was what we wanted,"
Heero smiled and chuckled, "You've grown up."
"As have you," I smirked, "No longer the infuriatingly, stubborn hothead that refused to come to us even if his life depended on it."
"Thank you, and you're not that annoyingly, hyperactive child that we had to leash so he doesn't drive us all crazy anymore."
"I'll take that as a compliment!"
"It was meant to be," he paused momentarily then cheekily added, "Baka."
"Hey!"
"If the hat fits..."
"Have you been taking lessons on being humorous? That's my gig! Find your own!"
Under the pale moonlight, he gave me the most adorable smile that I had ever seen. Adorable normally didn't go with 19-year-old men but it was the best I could do.
These past eighteen months had changed us. More than I imagined. I thought most of my changes were physical and that I was the same ol' Duo all this time but I was wrong. Just like he wasn't the same ol' Heero during the war. There was more to him and yet less, and I was determined to find out about the 'more' and restore the 'less'.
I only hope that he wouldn't shut me out again.
"Speaking of the others, have you heard from them?" Heero asked, I guess he got uncomfortable with the silence and the staring competition.
"We were speaking of the others?"
"We were," he insisted.
"Well, Hilde is in California and Quatre is in London, both getting their respective bachelor degrees. Last I heard Wufei, Sally and Une are still big wigs in the Preventers. Trowa is gallivanting around earth somewhere, but I haven't heard from him in nine months. As far as I know, Noin and Zechs are still on Mars and Catherine's still with the circus. I heard Dorothy was living the high life as New Yorker socialite and part time model. I'm sure I don't need to tell you about Relena."
"Why don't you need to tell me about Relena?" he actually looked a little miffed at that statement, "I have not been in contact with her. Why does everyone assume that she and I are in some kind of relationship simply because chose to protect her during the war and that I valued her as a capable - "
"Whoa! Chill!" I interrupted before he really exploded, "Geez, Heero, don't get your knickers in a twist! I only meant that because Relena is on the idiot box practically 24-7 and the tabloids are never short of a gossip on her, everyone knows about her. You must have been on some desert island if you've not heard ANY news on her at all! Relax! I know you aren't having any relationship with her. She's not having a relationship with anyone but her job."
Heero looked away, clearly embarrassed about his mini outburst, "Sorry."
"It's okay," I replied, wondering why was he getting so wound up about Relena, "Don't worry about it."
He nodded absently and lay back down on the sand. I followed suit. We resumed stargazing in silence, simply enjoying each other's company. It had to be said that it something that we have never done before. Me and him, sitting in silence, doing nothing in particular. During the war, he was constantly working and I was constantly chattering. I guess we've both really mellowed out. It was nice being able to meet in the middle.
"Duo..."
"Yeah?"
"Are... are you seeing anyone?"
Huh? More surprises? I could scarcely believe that he just asked what he asked, but the very question did give me confirmation to my suspicion.
"Me?" I snorted, "I don't have time for a social life. My work took up most of it. Well until about three months ago when I handed it over to my team of executives."
"What about Hilde?"
"Hilde and I are only friends. It didn't work out, but we're still very close. So now I'm just a lonely rich bachelor with a big empty house."
"Sorry to hear that."
"Why in the world should you be sorry? Having one Quatre is enough, Heero, he's got enough empathy to feel sorry about all our problems! Why did you ask anyway?"
"I was just curious," he tried to sound nonchalant.
Oh, for crying out loud! Why won't you just come out and say it? Must I do everything myself?
"What are you afraid of, Heero?" I rolled onto my front and propped myself up on my elbows to look at him.
"What do you mean? I'm not afraid," he avoided my gaze.
"You may have changed a lot in eighteen months but you're still a lousy liar when it comes to your emotions. That's why you chose never to confront them. You don't know how. You're afraid to let those feelings surface, aren't you?"
"If you already know, why ask me?"
"Because you need to know it too," I sighed, "Heero, don't run from it. You can't run forever. Eventually, it'll all catch up to you and it's going to be messy."
"Since when did you get your PhD in Psychology?" he asked irritably and leapt to his feet. Without any further word he marched up to the shoreline, staring out into the depth of the night.
I got up and walked up to him. As I came up behind him I could feel his entire body stiffen due to my proximity. I got close enough to let him know I was there, but not close enough to touch him.
"What are you afraid of?" I asked again, this time gently yet more insistently.
He didn't answer me. I waited patiently. I could be a very patient man if I knew the kind of rewards that could come from it. Eventually, I felt his shoulders sag as he let some of his reservations go.
"Rejection," he whispered.
"From whom?"
"Everyone."
"Why?"
"Because I no longer have a purpose in the world. Relena's vision of pacifism is slowly coming to fruition. Kudos to her, but where does that leave me?"
"Things change, Heero," I gently laid a hand on his shoulder, "That's what it's all about and we have to change with it. We didn't fight the war just to gain peace; we fought for change. People have to change. Isn't that what Wufei was trying to teach us during Mariemeia's Insurrection? Peace is just the reward; change is the lesson. Nevertheless, it doesn't mean that you no longer have a place in this new world."
"If there is, I have yet to find it," he replied with a tinge of bitterness on the edge of his voice.
"Maybe you just aren't looking in the right places. You cannot hold out for universal acceptance, Heero. It'll never happen. So what if you don't belong in some places? I can promise you that there are others that would welcome you with open arms."
"Where?"
"With any one of us."
"Who's us?"
"Team Gundam, of course," I grinned.
"Team Gundam?" he almost giggled.
"Yeah, you're one of us, whether you believe it or not. And after all the shit that we went through together, something as trivial as eighteen months can't wash it away. We've all been busy living out own lives too so don't worry about it. Trowa and Wufei aren't real social butterflies either. By the time you get a message to Zechs and Noin, it's old news. Relena? Well, you've gotta book some three months ahead just to say 'hello' to her."
"I never saw it that way."
"I gathered that."
Heaving a weary sigh, I felt him relax even further and lean back. Instinctively, I took a small step forward into his lean. He didn't protest, and I certainly wasn't going to complain. He tilted his head back to rest it on my shoulder. It was then I realised that we were the ideal height for each other.
"It's good to know I have friends."
"Baka!" I chided him, using his favourite word to describe me, "You've always had friends! You were just too damned stubborn to see it. Wasn't it you who taught a friend that it was okay to live by your emotions?"
"He told you that?"
"No, I read his mind. You should really practice what you preach, y'know. That isn't bad advice."
"I guess not."
"Good, I'm glad we go that sorted out," I tentatively place an arm around him to give him a quick hug and whispered in his ear, "It's good to have you back, Heero."
"You would want me with you?"
"Of course I would, weren't you listening to the entire conversation we just had?"
"That's not what I meant."
"What do you mean then?"
He pushed my arm away and took several steps forward. Spinning around, he fixed me with a scowl - the infamous Heero Yuy scowl that had the power to fell mobile suits. It took every ounce of self- control for me to keep a straight face. I had long developed an immunity to his glowering and it only served to amused me.
"You're doing this on purpose!" he cried accusingly at me.
"Doing what?"
"Just because I chose to ignore them previously doesn't mean I'm oblivious to them!"
"It helps if you tell me what they are," I know it was cruel but it was fun seeing Heero unravel himself. It hardly ever happened, so when the opportunity presented itself, I could never resist seizing it.
"Fine, if that is how you want it to be, so be it," he gave me one murderous glare and began to march off back to the hotel.
Just as he brush past me, I reached out to grab his arm. Jerking him around and pulling close, I pressed my lips firmly against his.
"There," I smirked, "Happy?"
The startled look on his face could only be described as 'cute'. Yes, cute. He stared at me, slack-jawed and wide-eyed. It was a sight uncommon and I took in every detail of that expression. I wasn't sure if I could surprise him like that again but I was damn well going to try.
"Jerk!" he punched my arm, "Why did you just put me through all that?"
"Ow!" I rubbed my sore arm. Being on the receiving end of Heero's hits were never fun, I should know, "I did it for your own good!"
"No, you're just making fun of me!"
"Don't blow this out of proportion, Heero," I tried to pacify him, "You yourself said you aren't oblivious to these things, so I'm sure you know that I'm - "
"I'm not Quatre! I can't sense emotions!" he interrupted angrily.
"Thank God you're not Quatre," I cried, "I'm not a big fan of blonds. Besides, he only had eyes for one person and it ain't me."
"You're changing the subject!"
"Hey, you were the one who brought up Quatre."
"Go to hell, Duo," he stalked off.
I sighed to myself. This was becoming more difficult that I thought. I knew I wasn't wrong about his feelings towards me and I was certain about mine. He was just a little ruffled from everything that we had shared tonight. I could understand his frustration and his anxiety about the whole situation. It's a good thing I can be a VERY patient man.
"Heero!" I ran after him, time to rein in the banter and let him know that I meant what I did, "Heero, please, stop."
"What?!"
"Don't run away from me again," I pleaded.
"I didn't run away from you before, how can I - "
"Shush," I placed a finger onto his lips, "Stop, you don't have to deny or defend yourself against me because I'm on your side. You don't have to put up walls and raise the drawbridge because I am not here to judge you. You don't have to pretend to be perfection because in my eyes you are already perfect the way you are - scowls and all. I came looking for you not only because you asked me to but also because I wanted to. I missed you too. Very much so."
"You missed me?" he asked almost incredulously.
"Of course I do!" I smiled charmingly at him, "I'm not yanking your chain, well, not this time anyway. I mean what I said. I care very much for you and I'm crazy about you. So I'm asking you to give me a chance to fall in love. I know I can and I want to, I just need the opportunity and a little time. Will you give me them?"
My little confession was met with silence. He didn't even look at me.
"Well?" I prompted.
"Well what?" was his murmured reply.
"Well do something, say something. I've just laid my heart down in front of you; you have the choice of stomping on it or picking it up. Either way, I'll respect it. Just don't lie to me. I wouldn't do it to you. Don't lie to yourself either."
I was once again greeted by silence. Patience is a virtue - I kept repeating it to myself like a mantra.
I just did not understand what goes on in his mind sometimes. What more did he want as an invitation? The red carpet was out, the fanfare was rolling, but the guest of honour ain't walking up the aisle.
Whether he realized it or not, he had been sending signals, no, it was more like god-damned blaring sirens all night. It wasn't there all the time but when it manifested, I'm certain dogs within a one mile radius went scurrying for cover.
I pride myself on being able to read people well. You have to learn these things when you're on the street trying to source an ideal target to pick their pocket. The trait had long become intrinsic. I like it and I'm not about to let it go, so I'm pretty sure that was why he 'called' me.
He can't really be THAT afraid, can he?
Just as I was about to give him another prod, he suddenly collapsed almost listlessly into my arms. It was then I realised beyond the shadow of a doubt that he had accepted my offer and that was willing to try.
I should've guessed that he being a man of VERY few words, actions definitely spoke louder than words for Heero. I held him close and placed a tender kiss on his temple. Burying his face into the crook of my neck, I felt him sigh and the rest of his reservations just washout to shore with the rolling tide.
In the stillness of the night I heard him whisper, "It's good to be back."
~*~
"Duo!!" Heero yelled rather impatiently, "We'll miss the damned shuttle if you don't shake a leg!"
"Sheah!" I scoffed as I pulled my left sock on while hopping on my right foot, "It's Quatre's private jet - it's here to pick us up. I doubt it'll leave without us!"
Quatre and Trowa had just returned home after Quatre's graduation and had invited us to their homecoming/graduation party. Quatre wanted to make sure we got there all right so he despatched one of his many shuttles to come pick us up. How very thoughtful of him, like it was difficult to find his place. His estate covered half of the colony!
Although we kept in touch through various communiqué, it had been nearly two years since we last saw each other in the flesh. The last time we met up was at Relena's twenty-first birthday and damn! That girl knew how to throw a party. I particularly like the bouncy castle. Even more so when half of the stuffy old bureaucrats, who felt 'obliged' to attend, were caught on camera bouncing in it!
Even though no one else would admit it, except for Quatre and I, we all looked forward, and sometimes for excuses, to meet up whenever we could. I wouldn't miss that particular party for the world for I knew we had a full roster this time round - all thirteen of us.
"True," I heard him reply, "But you see, there's this little thing called a landing and take-off schedule that shuttles have to obey or they'll crash into each other and make a very loud noise and lots of bright lights, which isn't always a good thing."
"Oh, shut up!" I gave him my best scowl as I finally emerged from the bedroom, fully dressed, shoes and all, "Sarcasm's my gig too! Get your own!"
Heero smirked at me, as he bodily hauled me out of the house before locking the door, "Yours? Nothing is just yours anymore, remember? Not since you duped me in to sharing your life. They're ours now."
"Duped?" I cried in mock astonishment, "If you weren't so damned gorgeous and so good at playing the damsel in distress I wouldn't have to come to your rescue from the big, bad world, would I?"
"Damsel?" he raised an eyebrow at me.
I leaned forward, sandwiching him between the car and me, to capture his lips before he could make another smart-alec remark. It worked too since it shut him up. Then again, was there ever any doubt?
"Besides, you're wrong," I murmured seductively, my breath tickling his ear, "There IS one thing that belongs to me and me alone."
"What?" he whispered back; shivering under my tender ministrations. I loved making him shiver.
Peering intently into brilliant sapphire orbs, I was delighted to see that the passion in them was once again burning with fervour.
"Isn't it obvious? You!"
~Fin~
Notes: G, 1+2, Humour, introspective, romance, spoilers for EW, despite what the title might imply it's not a deathfic, no beta
Continuation of the 'Post War Arc': After receiving the first enigmatic email from Heero in eighteen months, Duo sets out to Earth to search for his friend. On this little journey, Duo may gain something more than a renewed friendship.
~*~
The sun was at its zenith, the sky was clear and I was hotter than a cat on a hot tin roof. I had to admire the local residents. How they managed to function in this kind of equatorial climate was beyond me. I was dying in the heat wearing nothing more than a tank top and a pair of cut-off jeans and they were walking around in suits! If I took any more clothes off I'd undoubtedly be arrested for indecent exposure.
I suppose it was no surprise that a colony brat like me was wilting. The climate on the L2 colonies was often cold and clammy. If you didn't survive the cold, you just didn't survive. I grew accustomed to the chill quickly and strutting around in this tropical heat was no fun. I seriously began wondering what in God's good name I was doing running around the streets of Penang in this ungodly weather?
One word sprang to mind - Heero.
Eighteen months after pulling a Houdini on us, he resurfaced. Well sort of, and not just giving me the odd vague sign and fuzzy hint that he was still alive, that he hadn't really blown himself up or thrown himself off a 60-storey building. He actually wrote to me! Okay, it was the one-liner email that went along the lines of 'Hi, how are you? I am fine' but this is Mr. Verbose we were talking about! I didn't spend all that time working with him without knowing how to read him. And that read, 'Come find me'.
Okay, maybe I was flattering myself. Maybe I was imagining things and all he REALLY wanted to know was how I was. Nonetheless, I was never one to back down from an excuse to find Heero. That in itself was a challenge. It was a big game of hide-and-seek and I liked games.
During the war, it was infinitely easier to track each other down. Yes, even when we were the most wanted terrorists, with every conceivable government, resistance cell or mercenary group eyeing us like trophies. What with the state of the art technology we had at our disposal, finding each other was as easy as pie. These days, we used nothing more than our well-honed senses and peerless skills to do the job the old fashioned way. It was more fun and more rewarding yet more frustrating - yeah, I'm a self-confessed masochist.
Sometimes I did wonder if I was only doing this to purge the boredom and discontentment that was building up in me. The 'quiet life' really didn't suit me well.
Sure, I owned one of the most successful salvage yards in space but what did that bring me apart from an indecent amount of money? I was bored of shuffling paper and balancing ledgers. An incredibly efficient and competent team managed my business; they don't need me to hold their hands. Due to my dedication to my work, my social life went from slow to non-existent. I couldn't even keep up with old friends, friends that meant the world to me, friends whom I would've died for during the war. Now, I don't even know half their email addresses.
Call me crazy but this world of peace seemed so ... cold.
I sighed and swept my fringe from my face impatiently. I was practically dripping with perspiration and I was not a happy bunny. It must have been BAD for me to actually thought that how much cooler it would be without my braid.
Shuddering at the mere notion of cutting my hair, I quickly ducked into the nearest shop. Shops often had air-conditioning, thank God! I had a sneaking suspicion that it was to lure patrons into their shops, if all other marketing ploys failed.
I stood blinking stupidly for a moment - the inside of the shop was brighter than the sunlit streets! Almost immediately I was waylaid. She was short, probably no more than 5'1", plump with large round eyes magnified by even larger coke bottle glasses and a mop of black curly hair. She smiled at me with a predatory grin.
"Welcome to Wong's Jewellers, can I help?" her voice thick with the Malaysian accent that I've grown accustomed to.
Uh... I actually faltered! Me! Falter? The heat was really getting to my head.
"Are you looking for a gift or something for yourself?" she continued, ignoring my look of utter bewilderment. I didn't want to buy anything; I just wanted to get out of the sun!
"Maybe something for your wife?"
What?!? "I don't have a wife," I said.
"Girlfriend then?"
Man, she's persistent. "No, no girlfriend either."
"Handsome man like you cannot be single."
Why not? I asked myself, but I found myself saying, "Thank you," instead. "If you don't mind, I'd like to browse for a moment."
She looked positively scandalised, almost like I had insulted her! So shoot me if I don't want you hanging around me while I took advantage of your lovely, welcoming cool air. Shoo! Go away.
"If you need me - "
"I know where to find you, thank you."
With a look that carried the venom of a thousand black widows, she left me - reluctantly. I could only surmise that they received commission for each sale they made. I was also guessing that being foreign, she thought she could take advantage of my gullibility. I'm not about to be hoodwinked into buying jewellery that I don't need. And I don't need jewellery.
I moved around the store examining the array of gold, silver and platinum they had. Some were tasteful, most of them simply too garish. Just as I browsed, a small delicate bracelet caught my eye. It was a charm bracelet with the twelve animals of the Chinese horoscope. Crafted from a mix of yellow and white gold, I thought it would look really nice on Hilde.
Her birthday was coming up soon... well, in about six months time, but who's counting? I purchased the bracelet and pair of matching earrings.
After leaving the jewellers, I found my way to a small restaurant, amusingly called 'Anywhere'. It smelled heavenly of freshly ground coffee and a mix of cakes. I ordered an iced Mocha and a large bowl of cookies and cream ice cream topped with shaved dark chocolate, freshly whipped cream and a cherry.
While waiting for my order, I took out my recent purchase and examined it, hoping that Hilde would like them.
I sighed. I had missed having Hilde around. During the wars, we both honestly thought that we would spend the rest of our lives together. I cared for her deeply as she did for me. But no matter what we did or how we tried, we both noticed that the passion was missing. I love her to bits, and I would very likely do anything for her but I didn't fall in love with her. Just like she wasn't in love with me. We were a great team, if it weren't for Hilde I don't think the yard would've taken off as well as it did. Like they say, behind every successful man is a great woman - or something like that... proverbs, sayings and clichés never really did stick to my brain.
Eight months ago, she moved out. It was inevitable. We had long decided that we could be no more than best friend or 'siblings' to each other. She felt awkward dating while staying with me. God forbid I should hold her back in her pursuit of happiness. First she moved across town, and then she moved away from the colony. She had wanted to pursue a career in art; I encouraged her to get her degree and helped pay her fees. Well, considering she did help me with my business, funding her college education was the very least I could do.
She was currently in California, about six months into her first year. She kept me updated with everything - from her lectures to her housemates, from her new friends to the current hot-bod that she had spotted on campus. I was really glad to know that someone could be so open and honest and completely comfortable with me. I was even more relieved that I could feel the same with her too. I don't think I would've been this successful, in work and in life, without her.
Yes, I missed her so much, but at least we hadn't drifted apart. Yet.
Digging into the ice cream, I found blessed relief. It was what I really needed. After polishing off my ice cream and coffee I thought I had better get some work done. I wasn't on Earth for a holiday; I was supposed to be tracking down a friend who was too damned proud to admit that he needed friends. I began to feel guilty for taking the day to explore the heart of Georgetown. What was I thinking? That I would hopefully bump into him while shopping in the mall?
Well, everyone was entitled a break. I've been on his trail from Japan to China, from Philippines to Vietnam, from Cambodia to Thailand finally ending up in Malaysia. If I didn't know him better I would've though he was doing a Far East tour! What in the world was he looking for? His past? His heritage? If that were true, would he not have stayed in Japan?
Then again, maybe not. Heero confessed that didn't know for sure if he was Japanese at all. He knew he wasn't all together Oriental, the blue eyes were a dead giveaway but he was told that he came from a Japanese ancestry. The person who told him was none other than his first guardian that he remembered - Odin Lowe. Heero told me he had no reason to doubt that but he had no reason to believe him either.
I paid the bill and hailed a cab. If I wanted to do any real tracking I would need some place that I could actually work without my brain frying. I instructed the cabbie to take me back to the hotel.
~*~
Gotcha!
I whooped in triumph. Six hours, half a dozen glasses of iced coffee and four bowls of Haagen Daaz Baylis ice cream later, I traced Heero to the Mutiara Hotel, just a few of miles away from me on the north coast of the island. Although I did stumble on some false leads and dead ends, I thought my find did seem a little too easy for Heero's standard. That convinced me further that he wanted to be found - but only by me. The traps he laid would've stumped the others but he understood the methodologies I invented and employed in tracking and made sure that I found him before the others would, if indeed they were even searching for him.
I doubted that. I knew Wu Fei would have better and more important things to do with the Preventers than to play 'Hunt the Heero'. Quatre had also just started university in Imperial College, London. I was sure he was too busy with his new adventure to join in the game as well. As for Trowa, I hadn't heard from him in nine months, not since he sent me a postcard at the beginning of his sabbatical from the circus. Even if they would make the effort, I wasn't sure if Heero would've sent them the same seemingly innocent email in the first place.
I checked the time on my notebook and realised that it was just gone eleven. The night was still young - well sort of. In any case, I wasn't going to wait till morning to say 'Tag, you're it'. I've already spent eight weeks looking for him. Knowing my luck, if I waited he would've upped and left at the crack of dawn. I threw on a decent pair of trousers and a clean shirt and raced to the door. I hopped into the first cab I spotted and we sped to the Mutiara Hotel.
I rang the bell to room 701 and waited patiently for an answer. For all I knew, he could be asleep, but somehow I doubted that Heero actually slept. After waiting a minute or two - that was sufficient time for rolling out of bed to answer the door - I rang the bell again.
Still no answer.
I knew he hadn't checked out because it was the front desk that directed me to this room and reassured me that he hadn't. They couldn't have gotten it wrong, could they?
The bell chimed a third time and I was continuously greeted by silence. Shrugging, I left the hallway. I wasn't going to sit there like a fool waiting for him. If anything I would rather enjoy a nightcap down in the lounge where I heard a string-piano quartet was playing. If he was out, he would very likely check in at the front desk before going up to his room. I left a message with the concierge.
The lounge was nearly empty. A retired couple sat with their tea and the pair of young lovers was probably whispering sweet nothings in each other ears. The quartet played a nice selection of classical. I recognised a few composers like Vivaldi, Strauss and Beethoven. I settled myself at the table that would give me a view of the front desk. That way I could keep an eye out for Heero if he didn't stop at the door to collect his messages.
The music was soothing, the ambient lighting dim and after a few glasses of Mai Tai, I was beginning to feel the adrenalin and excitement drain from me. In fact, I knew if I didn't get up I would very well fall asleep in my cocktail.
I checked my watch, the glowing hand show me 12.30 a.m. I left the lounge knowing full well that I needed to walk the lethargy off if I still wanted to wait for Heero. Where could he be at this early hour of the morning? As if I couldn't guess - probably indulging in some less than legitimate activities like hacking into the national bank or planning a heist, just to see if he still had it in him.
I slipped my moccasins off and abandoned them next to a lamppost by the wooden path that lead to the beach. The powdery sand felt cool under my bare feet and the air was cool and crisp. Despite my earlier complains and bitching about the climate, I could not deny how wonderful it felt when night fell. The night was still warm but the salty sea breeze took the humidity from it. The moon was full and the sky clear. Away from the artificial illumination of the city centre, each star seemed to sparkle with a new vigour. No man made sound permeated the serenity of the night. It was simply beautiful.
I had never truly had an appreciation of the beach until my visit to the Pearl of the Orient - as this idyllic island was aptly dubbed. It gave me a calm that I never knew I could find in nature. I guess I missed out a lot for being a colony brat, L2 didn't offer a lot of greenery or beaches.
I lay down on the sand to gaze at the moon, the great white orb with flecks of grey in it. They say you can see a man in the moon in Europe and the Moon Goddess in China. I squinted and cocked my head, trying to decide if I saw either. What I saw was a fluffy, grey bunny rabbit. I giggled. Of all the things to see, I see a bunny rabbit on a great chunk of rock that had housed one of history's greatest factories for weapons of destruction? Sometimes, even I scare myself.
I sighed wearily wishing that I could share this glorious scene with someone. Anyone. Hilde would have loved the glittering sand, which look like it had great potential for doing things from building castles to sculpting the Venus de Milo. Quatre would have appreciated the starry sky while naming the constellations. Wu Fei would revel in the calm surroundings of nature seemingly untouched by man. Trowa, he would be in the still-warm ocean paddling to his heart's content. As for Heero... I wasn't altogether sure which aspect of the scene would appeal to him.
I snorted. So much for me knowing him well. I was so sure what the others would like, but when it came to Heero and his personal preferences, I drew a blank. Perhaps it was because of all of us, he guarded his heart the fiercest. During the war, at one point or another, each and every one of us found someone to confide in. Even if the liaison did not last, I was certain it gave us a measure of comfort and sanity. I had Hilde, Trowa grew closer to Catherine, I heard that Quatre confided in Noin during his stay in the Sanq Kingdom and even Wu Fei opened his heart to Sally. At times we turned to each other as well but whom did Heero turn to? I seriously doubted he went to Relena and he certainly didn't come to any of us.
I kept my doors open for him as did Quatre but neither one of us could force him through it, not for the lack of trying though. He was either too arrogant or too scared. Whatever the reason, neither one of us pushed him. We all had our own grand adventure to pursue.
Thinking about it, I felt kind of guilty. Heero would never cry out for help, not in a way most people would associate as a cry for help anyway. He would simply put everything under lock and key and just wait for it to disappear. Problem was, things that needed to go under lock and key never disappear. They just fester and mutate and make life even more difficult than it already is.
Yup, that's the good ol' guilt thingy hammering in my heart.
I sat up and began rolling the hem of my trousers up. For some reason, I had a sudden urge to wade in the salty water, feel the squishy, soggy sand between my toes and act like a complete child. Well, seeing I missed out on my 'real' childhood, I wanted to make up for it whenever I could.
I ran down to the shoreline but stopped just before the water, watching, waiting. As the tide came in, I scurried back up the beach. I giggled to myself. Yes, childish indeed. I continued to play 'tag' with the sea; running up and down following the tide until an unexpectedly large wave came crashing on me. I was wet knee down and I only rolled my trousers up to my shins.
"That's what you get for teasing," a voice startled me. I must be losing my edge to have someone sneak up on me like that. Having said that, that someone was one Heero Yuy.
"Life is no fun without teasing," I grinned.
Surprisingly, he smiled back at me.
I sashayed up to him and stopped a couple of feet away. Under the pale moonlight, Heero looked good. He stood about 5'10", his stature still lean and athletic. His once unruly and untamed hair was cropped; the only evidence of his wild mop was several inches of fringe that fell over his eyes. His adolescent delicate good looks had matured into chiselled gorgeousness. Even as I was greeted by the vision of exotic elegance, I was saddened to find that the piercing sapphires no longer carried the passion that once would not be quelled. Apart from that, he was looking well.
"It's good to see you, Duo," he said.
"Likewise," I replied.
"So..."
"So... what have you been up to?"
"A little of this, a bit of that."
"Uh, huh," I nodded absently.
"What brings you to Penang?" he asked.
"As if you didn't know," I grinned.
"I don't know what you're talking about."
"Now, who's teasing?"
He blushed. Heero Yuy BLUSHED!
Damn, I'm good. I took a step closer to him and noticed a faint whiff of cigarette smoke and beer. I looked at him incredulously. Had he been in a club? What is this world coming to?!
"Have you been clubbing?" I asked, I tried to but I couldn't for my life wipe the smirk off my face.
He turned away from me, his cheeks burning even more.
"Heero!" I lay my hand gently on his arm, "I'm sorry. I'm not making fun. Honestly, I'm not! I'm just surprised. Don't be angry."
He shrugged nonchalantly, his eyes on his shoes.
"Hey," I turned him around to face me again, "Did you enjoy yourself?"
"No, it was too noisy and there were too many people there. The music was bad, and the girls wouldn't leave me alone."
I couldn't help but laugh! Trust Heero to go to a club and pick out all those things, "So why did you go then?"
"I thought YOU might be there."
ME? He was looking for me? How many surprises can a man take in one night?
"Hang on," I said, "I thought I was doing the seeking and you were doing the hiding."
"You were taking too long, I got bored."
"Oh excuuuuse me, Mr. Paranoia-I-cover-my-tracks-like-I'm-a- criminal!" I retorted, "You didn't exactly give me a lot to go on you know."
"I thought you liked a challenge," he smirked.
"There's a very fine line between a challenge and Mission: Impossible."
"You tracked me here, so it can't have been impossible," he replied flippantly and sank into the sand.
I took a seat beside him, "You are so pedantic, it's infuriating. Do you have to take everything I say literally?"
"I don't like playing games. Say what you mean and mean what you say."
"It's called being creative with words, Heero," I rolled my eyes.
"I've been told that I have no sense of creativity."
I snorted, "Are you kidding? Just because you aren't throwing paint against a canvass or writing the next symphony doesn't mean you aren't creative. You've gotten us out of more fixes in ways that even the best of us would not have imagined,"
I heard something that sounded suspiciously like chuckle. This was a night full of surprises - first he blushes then he chuckles! Not his usual maniacal, hysterical, I'm going to kill you laugh; there was genuine mirth in this one.
"Now I remember why I missed you."
WHU? Did he just say he missed me?
He continued, "You always have a way of making me feel good about myself no matter how deep I am in the abyss of depression,"
I could feel his penetrating gaze on me, but something that felt suspiciously like fear kept me from looking back. Me? Afraid to look at him? How ridiculous!
"Thank you, Duo, for coming after me," he sighed, "Time and time again,"
"Hey, you would've done the same for me," I shrugged dismissively, determined not to let the anxiety take over my senses.
"I would, but you would not have asked me to."
"What?" I frowned at him, "What is that supposed to mean?"
"I wouldn't be the first person you would go to if you were ever in need of someone,"
Ok, that was true, I could not deny that, but can you blame me? He was not an easy person to find, he would never allow anyone to keep tabs on him. If and when I wanted someone, I would want them N-O-W! I wouldn't have the frame of mind to be looking for him when I needed a shoulder to cry on.
"It's okay," he finally said when I didn't respond, "I am not as easily accessible as the others."
"Took the words right out of my mouth." I grinned at him.
"Would you have come to me if I had been there?" he asked in a hush whisper.
To say I was baffled would be an understatement. Was he looking for acceptance? He should've known that he would always be accepted and welcomed, not only by me but by the others as well. Should've being the operative word. Did we ever tell him that he was welcomed? I shuddered when I could not find the memory of me explicitly telling him that. Is that why he went Houdini on us? Because he did not feel he had a place with us?
"Heero," I turned to peer into his eyes and asked in a voice as quiet as his, "You do know that I cherish your friendship, don't you?"
"I guess."
"There is no doubt about it. We've been through a lot together; something a trivial as your absence did not diminish it. I don't deny that having you close by or even the ability to reach you whenever I wanted to would have been nice. Nevertheless, we all had to go our own way to find our own calling before we came back together. If indeed that was what we wanted,"
Heero smiled and chuckled, "You've grown up."
"As have you," I smirked, "No longer the infuriatingly, stubborn hothead that refused to come to us even if his life depended on it."
"Thank you, and you're not that annoyingly, hyperactive child that we had to leash so he doesn't drive us all crazy anymore."
"I'll take that as a compliment!"
"It was meant to be," he paused momentarily then cheekily added, "Baka."
"Hey!"
"If the hat fits..."
"Have you been taking lessons on being humorous? That's my gig! Find your own!"
Under the pale moonlight, he gave me the most adorable smile that I had ever seen. Adorable normally didn't go with 19-year-old men but it was the best I could do.
These past eighteen months had changed us. More than I imagined. I thought most of my changes were physical and that I was the same ol' Duo all this time but I was wrong. Just like he wasn't the same ol' Heero during the war. There was more to him and yet less, and I was determined to find out about the 'more' and restore the 'less'.
I only hope that he wouldn't shut me out again.
"Speaking of the others, have you heard from them?" Heero asked, I guess he got uncomfortable with the silence and the staring competition.
"We were speaking of the others?"
"We were," he insisted.
"Well, Hilde is in California and Quatre is in London, both getting their respective bachelor degrees. Last I heard Wufei, Sally and Une are still big wigs in the Preventers. Trowa is gallivanting around earth somewhere, but I haven't heard from him in nine months. As far as I know, Noin and Zechs are still on Mars and Catherine's still with the circus. I heard Dorothy was living the high life as New Yorker socialite and part time model. I'm sure I don't need to tell you about Relena."
"Why don't you need to tell me about Relena?" he actually looked a little miffed at that statement, "I have not been in contact with her. Why does everyone assume that she and I are in some kind of relationship simply because chose to protect her during the war and that I valued her as a capable - "
"Whoa! Chill!" I interrupted before he really exploded, "Geez, Heero, don't get your knickers in a twist! I only meant that because Relena is on the idiot box practically 24-7 and the tabloids are never short of a gossip on her, everyone knows about her. You must have been on some desert island if you've not heard ANY news on her at all! Relax! I know you aren't having any relationship with her. She's not having a relationship with anyone but her job."
Heero looked away, clearly embarrassed about his mini outburst, "Sorry."
"It's okay," I replied, wondering why was he getting so wound up about Relena, "Don't worry about it."
He nodded absently and lay back down on the sand. I followed suit. We resumed stargazing in silence, simply enjoying each other's company. It had to be said that it something that we have never done before. Me and him, sitting in silence, doing nothing in particular. During the war, he was constantly working and I was constantly chattering. I guess we've both really mellowed out. It was nice being able to meet in the middle.
"Duo..."
"Yeah?"
"Are... are you seeing anyone?"
Huh? More surprises? I could scarcely believe that he just asked what he asked, but the very question did give me confirmation to my suspicion.
"Me?" I snorted, "I don't have time for a social life. My work took up most of it. Well until about three months ago when I handed it over to my team of executives."
"What about Hilde?"
"Hilde and I are only friends. It didn't work out, but we're still very close. So now I'm just a lonely rich bachelor with a big empty house."
"Sorry to hear that."
"Why in the world should you be sorry? Having one Quatre is enough, Heero, he's got enough empathy to feel sorry about all our problems! Why did you ask anyway?"
"I was just curious," he tried to sound nonchalant.
Oh, for crying out loud! Why won't you just come out and say it? Must I do everything myself?
"What are you afraid of, Heero?" I rolled onto my front and propped myself up on my elbows to look at him.
"What do you mean? I'm not afraid," he avoided my gaze.
"You may have changed a lot in eighteen months but you're still a lousy liar when it comes to your emotions. That's why you chose never to confront them. You don't know how. You're afraid to let those feelings surface, aren't you?"
"If you already know, why ask me?"
"Because you need to know it too," I sighed, "Heero, don't run from it. You can't run forever. Eventually, it'll all catch up to you and it's going to be messy."
"Since when did you get your PhD in Psychology?" he asked irritably and leapt to his feet. Without any further word he marched up to the shoreline, staring out into the depth of the night.
I got up and walked up to him. As I came up behind him I could feel his entire body stiffen due to my proximity. I got close enough to let him know I was there, but not close enough to touch him.
"What are you afraid of?" I asked again, this time gently yet more insistently.
He didn't answer me. I waited patiently. I could be a very patient man if I knew the kind of rewards that could come from it. Eventually, I felt his shoulders sag as he let some of his reservations go.
"Rejection," he whispered.
"From whom?"
"Everyone."
"Why?"
"Because I no longer have a purpose in the world. Relena's vision of pacifism is slowly coming to fruition. Kudos to her, but where does that leave me?"
"Things change, Heero," I gently laid a hand on his shoulder, "That's what it's all about and we have to change with it. We didn't fight the war just to gain peace; we fought for change. People have to change. Isn't that what Wufei was trying to teach us during Mariemeia's Insurrection? Peace is just the reward; change is the lesson. Nevertheless, it doesn't mean that you no longer have a place in this new world."
"If there is, I have yet to find it," he replied with a tinge of bitterness on the edge of his voice.
"Maybe you just aren't looking in the right places. You cannot hold out for universal acceptance, Heero. It'll never happen. So what if you don't belong in some places? I can promise you that there are others that would welcome you with open arms."
"Where?"
"With any one of us."
"Who's us?"
"Team Gundam, of course," I grinned.
"Team Gundam?" he almost giggled.
"Yeah, you're one of us, whether you believe it or not. And after all the shit that we went through together, something as trivial as eighteen months can't wash it away. We've all been busy living out own lives too so don't worry about it. Trowa and Wufei aren't real social butterflies either. By the time you get a message to Zechs and Noin, it's old news. Relena? Well, you've gotta book some three months ahead just to say 'hello' to her."
"I never saw it that way."
"I gathered that."
Heaving a weary sigh, I felt him relax even further and lean back. Instinctively, I took a small step forward into his lean. He didn't protest, and I certainly wasn't going to complain. He tilted his head back to rest it on my shoulder. It was then I realised that we were the ideal height for each other.
"It's good to know I have friends."
"Baka!" I chided him, using his favourite word to describe me, "You've always had friends! You were just too damned stubborn to see it. Wasn't it you who taught a friend that it was okay to live by your emotions?"
"He told you that?"
"No, I read his mind. You should really practice what you preach, y'know. That isn't bad advice."
"I guess not."
"Good, I'm glad we go that sorted out," I tentatively place an arm around him to give him a quick hug and whispered in his ear, "It's good to have you back, Heero."
"You would want me with you?"
"Of course I would, weren't you listening to the entire conversation we just had?"
"That's not what I meant."
"What do you mean then?"
He pushed my arm away and took several steps forward. Spinning around, he fixed me with a scowl - the infamous Heero Yuy scowl that had the power to fell mobile suits. It took every ounce of self- control for me to keep a straight face. I had long developed an immunity to his glowering and it only served to amused me.
"You're doing this on purpose!" he cried accusingly at me.
"Doing what?"
"Just because I chose to ignore them previously doesn't mean I'm oblivious to them!"
"It helps if you tell me what they are," I know it was cruel but it was fun seeing Heero unravel himself. It hardly ever happened, so when the opportunity presented itself, I could never resist seizing it.
"Fine, if that is how you want it to be, so be it," he gave me one murderous glare and began to march off back to the hotel.
Just as he brush past me, I reached out to grab his arm. Jerking him around and pulling close, I pressed my lips firmly against his.
"There," I smirked, "Happy?"
The startled look on his face could only be described as 'cute'. Yes, cute. He stared at me, slack-jawed and wide-eyed. It was a sight uncommon and I took in every detail of that expression. I wasn't sure if I could surprise him like that again but I was damn well going to try.
"Jerk!" he punched my arm, "Why did you just put me through all that?"
"Ow!" I rubbed my sore arm. Being on the receiving end of Heero's hits were never fun, I should know, "I did it for your own good!"
"No, you're just making fun of me!"
"Don't blow this out of proportion, Heero," I tried to pacify him, "You yourself said you aren't oblivious to these things, so I'm sure you know that I'm - "
"I'm not Quatre! I can't sense emotions!" he interrupted angrily.
"Thank God you're not Quatre," I cried, "I'm not a big fan of blonds. Besides, he only had eyes for one person and it ain't me."
"You're changing the subject!"
"Hey, you were the one who brought up Quatre."
"Go to hell, Duo," he stalked off.
I sighed to myself. This was becoming more difficult that I thought. I knew I wasn't wrong about his feelings towards me and I was certain about mine. He was just a little ruffled from everything that we had shared tonight. I could understand his frustration and his anxiety about the whole situation. It's a good thing I can be a VERY patient man.
"Heero!" I ran after him, time to rein in the banter and let him know that I meant what I did, "Heero, please, stop."
"What?!"
"Don't run away from me again," I pleaded.
"I didn't run away from you before, how can I - "
"Shush," I placed a finger onto his lips, "Stop, you don't have to deny or defend yourself against me because I'm on your side. You don't have to put up walls and raise the drawbridge because I am not here to judge you. You don't have to pretend to be perfection because in my eyes you are already perfect the way you are - scowls and all. I came looking for you not only because you asked me to but also because I wanted to. I missed you too. Very much so."
"You missed me?" he asked almost incredulously.
"Of course I do!" I smiled charmingly at him, "I'm not yanking your chain, well, not this time anyway. I mean what I said. I care very much for you and I'm crazy about you. So I'm asking you to give me a chance to fall in love. I know I can and I want to, I just need the opportunity and a little time. Will you give me them?"
My little confession was met with silence. He didn't even look at me.
"Well?" I prompted.
"Well what?" was his murmured reply.
"Well do something, say something. I've just laid my heart down in front of you; you have the choice of stomping on it or picking it up. Either way, I'll respect it. Just don't lie to me. I wouldn't do it to you. Don't lie to yourself either."
I was once again greeted by silence. Patience is a virtue - I kept repeating it to myself like a mantra.
I just did not understand what goes on in his mind sometimes. What more did he want as an invitation? The red carpet was out, the fanfare was rolling, but the guest of honour ain't walking up the aisle.
Whether he realized it or not, he had been sending signals, no, it was more like god-damned blaring sirens all night. It wasn't there all the time but when it manifested, I'm certain dogs within a one mile radius went scurrying for cover.
I pride myself on being able to read people well. You have to learn these things when you're on the street trying to source an ideal target to pick their pocket. The trait had long become intrinsic. I like it and I'm not about to let it go, so I'm pretty sure that was why he 'called' me.
He can't really be THAT afraid, can he?
Just as I was about to give him another prod, he suddenly collapsed almost listlessly into my arms. It was then I realised beyond the shadow of a doubt that he had accepted my offer and that was willing to try.
I should've guessed that he being a man of VERY few words, actions definitely spoke louder than words for Heero. I held him close and placed a tender kiss on his temple. Burying his face into the crook of my neck, I felt him sigh and the rest of his reservations just washout to shore with the rolling tide.
In the stillness of the night I heard him whisper, "It's good to be back."
~*~
"Duo!!" Heero yelled rather impatiently, "We'll miss the damned shuttle if you don't shake a leg!"
"Sheah!" I scoffed as I pulled my left sock on while hopping on my right foot, "It's Quatre's private jet - it's here to pick us up. I doubt it'll leave without us!"
Quatre and Trowa had just returned home after Quatre's graduation and had invited us to their homecoming/graduation party. Quatre wanted to make sure we got there all right so he despatched one of his many shuttles to come pick us up. How very thoughtful of him, like it was difficult to find his place. His estate covered half of the colony!
Although we kept in touch through various communiqué, it had been nearly two years since we last saw each other in the flesh. The last time we met up was at Relena's twenty-first birthday and damn! That girl knew how to throw a party. I particularly like the bouncy castle. Even more so when half of the stuffy old bureaucrats, who felt 'obliged' to attend, were caught on camera bouncing in it!
Even though no one else would admit it, except for Quatre and I, we all looked forward, and sometimes for excuses, to meet up whenever we could. I wouldn't miss that particular party for the world for I knew we had a full roster this time round - all thirteen of us.
"True," I heard him reply, "But you see, there's this little thing called a landing and take-off schedule that shuttles have to obey or they'll crash into each other and make a very loud noise and lots of bright lights, which isn't always a good thing."
"Oh, shut up!" I gave him my best scowl as I finally emerged from the bedroom, fully dressed, shoes and all, "Sarcasm's my gig too! Get your own!"
Heero smirked at me, as he bodily hauled me out of the house before locking the door, "Yours? Nothing is just yours anymore, remember? Not since you duped me in to sharing your life. They're ours now."
"Duped?" I cried in mock astonishment, "If you weren't so damned gorgeous and so good at playing the damsel in distress I wouldn't have to come to your rescue from the big, bad world, would I?"
"Damsel?" he raised an eyebrow at me.
I leaned forward, sandwiching him between the car and me, to capture his lips before he could make another smart-alec remark. It worked too since it shut him up. Then again, was there ever any doubt?
"Besides, you're wrong," I murmured seductively, my breath tickling his ear, "There IS one thing that belongs to me and me alone."
"What?" he whispered back; shivering under my tender ministrations. I loved making him shiver.
Peering intently into brilliant sapphire orbs, I was delighted to see that the passion in them was once again burning with fervour.
"Isn't it obvious? You!"
~Fin~