(no subject)
Let's take a moment to talk about our feelings, shall we:
You feel:
weak
scared
nervous
overprotective
worried
angry
sadsadsad when we're not together
You feel:
happy
comfortable
content
in love when we're together.
You chose:
to "deal with your shit" and "learn to be happy on your own" without me
[ Even though, lets recap shall we, you feel:
happy, comfortable, content, in love when we're together]
I feel:
angry that you convinced me it was worth doing the summer
betrayed
embarassed that your sister and probably MattYunk and probably Courtney and definetly fucking fat trashy disgusting "pierced-my-nipples-look-im-soo-cool"Carolyn knew about this before me
HURT that you're giving up on this
HURT that you don't think I can help you through this/that you don't want me to
disappointed that i didn't know myself better.
I thought i was in control here. I thought you loved me more than I loved you. I thought you would never break up with me.
I've been thinking for months that I'D have to find the way/the date we ended it.
I understand but I don't. I want you to figure your shit out, but I don't. Not without me.
I wanted:
you at blossom with me
to give you the birthday gifts i'd planned
for you to be at my graduation and graduation party
for you to love me as much as you'd promised.
and you say:
you're sad too
you don't know if this is right either
it's breaking your heart, too.
But i called you. Both times. I've been texting you. I'm doing it all except ending it. That's you. And that's not the way it's supposed to be.
I didn't realize how much I loved you I guess. I didn't realize how much I missed you when we weren't together or how much I needed you.
I need you.
And let's not forget that you also said you could picture yourself spending the rest of your life with me.
But not this summer? Not tomorrow? That makes a lot of sense, Jon. That fits in perfectly.
And that's how we feel.
You feel:
weak
scared
nervous
overprotective
worried
angry
sadsadsad when we're not together
You feel:
happy
comfortable
content
in love when we're together.
You chose:
to "deal with your shit" and "learn to be happy on your own" without me
[ Even though, lets recap shall we, you feel:
happy, comfortable, content, in love when we're together]
I feel:
angry that you convinced me it was worth doing the summer
betrayed
embarassed that your sister and probably MattYunk and probably Courtney and definetly fucking fat trashy disgusting "pierced-my-nipples-look-im-soo-cool"Carolyn knew about this before me
HURT that you're giving up on this
HURT that you don't think I can help you through this/that you don't want me to
disappointed that i didn't know myself better.
I thought i was in control here. I thought you loved me more than I loved you. I thought you would never break up with me.
I've been thinking for months that I'D have to find the way/the date we ended it.
I understand but I don't. I want you to figure your shit out, but I don't. Not without me.
I wanted:
you at blossom with me
to give you the birthday gifts i'd planned
for you to be at my graduation and graduation party
for you to love me as much as you'd promised.
and you say:
you're sad too
you don't know if this is right either
it's breaking your heart, too.
But i called you. Both times. I've been texting you. I'm doing it all except ending it. That's you. And that's not the way it's supposed to be.
I didn't realize how much I loved you I guess. I didn't realize how much I missed you when we weren't together or how much I needed you.
I need you.
And let's not forget that you also said you could picture yourself spending the rest of your life with me.
But not this summer? Not tomorrow? That makes a lot of sense, Jon. That fits in perfectly.
And that's how we feel.