[one-shot] Il Segreto ~The Secret~
Title: Il Segreto
Pairing: Ryosuke Yamada x Yuto Nakajima (YamaJima)
Author: Keanne (keannegirl01 )
Genre: Angst; Fluff
Rating: PG
Word Count: 5,211 words
Summary: Yamada Ryosuke is a super star but no one knows why he tried his best to achieve that fame. All because he was bullied when he was in middle school and high school. He swore he would make that guy kneel in front of him… that guy named Yuto Nakajima.
Requested by: Vai old hag (v28dewanta )
Il Segreto
Yamada gasped for air as he finished his performance for that night. As usual, he did his best and it seemed it paid off. His fans started screaming widely. His uchiwas could be seen everywhere. Well, it’s as though he was surprised. He got used to it all. He bowed down and gave a satisfied smile as he went off from the stage, making his way to the backstage. He was still panting when his manager, Yabu Kouta, handed him a towel.
“Thanks,” he said with a smile.
Yabu just smiled back. “You can thank me, just please stop giving me that fake smile.” He said “Seriously, I don’t get why many fans went crazy over you. Can’t they see your half-hearted smile?”
He grinned and then let out a sigh. What Yabu stated was true after all. When he debuted, he knew he was adorable and innocent with those flashy smile but now, they’re gone. He got worse, he knew it himself.
“Stop thinking about him. I know it’s because of that person again.” Yabu commented as he noticed the young boy fell silent.
Yamada looked down, avoiding his manager’s gaze. They knew each other long ago so Yabu can read him easily now. He was right again. It was just because of one person.
Yuto Nakajima. Remembering his name made his heart clutch with hurt and hatred. He was still hurting although it was long ago.
Middle School
Yamada looked at the paper posted on the bulletin. It was his last year in middle school and he was hoping for new classmates. His eyes were clouded with sadness as he noticed he still had the same classmates.
Looking down, he made his was to his new class room. He wasn’t looking in the way so he didn’t notice someone was coming to him. He fell hard on the ground. He looked at the person whom he collided only to see an evil smirk.
“What the hell are you thinking?! Look where you are going, idiot!” A tall guy yelled at him, calling other student’s attention.
He swallowed as he tried to mouth ‘sorry’ when the guy handed him a hand. He reached it but the guy moved his hand away. “Just kidding,” the guy said as he smirked even more, causing others to laugh on him.
Then the guy walked away. He sighed and tried to get his self up. Then he went straight to his room.
***
As soon as he entered the room, the guys feel silent and the girls started gossiping. He went straight to the back for a seat.
“Oi, that’s my seat!” A guy yelled.
He looked at the guy and bowed down, showing that he was sorry. He chose another seat and the same thing happened. One by one yelled that it was their seat. He looked around and found another seat, near a window. As he made his way to it, someone ran fast and sat on the chair.
<“This is my seat.” The guy whom he collided a while ago declared in front of him with a grin. He just tried to smile and nodded.
“O-okay,” he said in a weak voice.
< The guy looked at him deeply in the eyes. He bit his lower lip.
“Take this seat then.” The guy offered as he stood up.
He brightened and acted to take a seat only to get pushed away. “I was just kidding,” the guy said again. The whole class laughed at him.
With heavy steps, he went back to the back and stood to the corner. He’ll just wait for his teacher to assign him a seat.
***
With a year of his classmates endlessly teasing and bullying him, he managed to last. He wanted to stop school but he was still young. He asked his parents to let him transfer but they didn’t agree. He couldn’t tell them that he was being bullied.
Every time a day starts, his morning starts sadly. He wanted time to fly fast and when a day ends, he would go home happily. But sometimes, he just couldn’t take it.
“Good morning, Yama-chan.” His female classmate greeted him.
nbsp; He was surprised at first but he felt happy. He smiled and greeted back. “Good morning.”
“Oh, will you pass by on the exit door? The entrance door of our room wasn’t working properly.” She said with a smile.
Smiling even more brightly, he nodded.
He came in first. He slowly pushed the door and he was surprised to see his classmates were all smiling to him. He looked at them, wondering what happened. Then, a bucket of water splashed on him. He looked up and saw that a pail was hanging on the door. The room was filled with roars of laughter.
He looked down on his wet uniform. It wasn’t just his uniform that got wet. It was as though a heavy rain poured down on him. He got his handkerchief from his pocket and wiped his self.
Slowly by slowly, his sight got blurry. His tears started falling down on his cheeks as he continued to look down.
“Oops. I didn’t know this will happen. Sorry, Yama-chan.” The girl who suggested him to get inside from that door entered the room with a wide smile.
His classmates were giving her thumbs up.
A tall guy, whom he knew named as Yuto Nakajima, clapped his hand and others fell silent. “How can you be so cruel to Yama-chan.” He said as he gave him a pitiful smile.
“Eh? You’re the one who suggested and put that water there, Yuto!” A boy classmate said with a laugh.
Soon after that, Yuto’s pitiful reaction was replaced with a big smile that even his teeth were showing.
He looked down again as tears started to fall down.
He needed to go home now. He turned his back on them and went outside. He slowly walked on the hallway.
> “Where are you going?” a familiar voice asked him.
He gulped and he looked back to see Yuto. “G-going home.” He answered as his voice wavered. He felt so cold.
“Oh. Okay.” Yuto said as he nodded.
He went back on walking. Then he heard Yuto shouted “It’s good if you won’t come back in this school, ever.”
A while ago, he was just crying silently but now, it turned into sobs.
***
High School
A new year, a new school. It was the moment he was waiting for. He can now get away from his mean classmates, including Yuto.
He looked at the school’s bulletin and saw his name. “1-D.” he said.
He didn’t know where it was so he asked the guy in front of him. He was tall that he stood out from the crowd.
“Excuse me, where is the classroom for 1-D?” he asked with a humble smile.
The guy slowly turned to him and his smile faded. People usually say ‘What a small world.’, so it must have been true. Because the guy in front of him was the guy he was most afraid to face again, no other than Yuto.
> He swallowed and turned his back from him, then he started walking away. Fear was visible on his eyes.
Before he could go far, big hands owned by Yuto stopped his shoulders and held there, tightly. “What did you ask?”
“N-never mind.” He said.
“What did you ask?” Yuto asked again, as if he was demanding.
“W-w-where’s the room of 1-D…” He asked as he stuttered.
“Come with me.”
“E-e-eh?”
“We’re classmates.” Yuto stated with a smirk. That evil smirk he couldn’t forget all his life.
***
Yuto opened the door of 1-D as he stayed silent on his side. He was looking down.
“He’s here.” Yuto announced.
He looked up and surprised to see his old classmates way back middle school. What a small world indeed. He chose this school for it was a bit far from his home, hoping he would meet different people from his past school.
He wondered, what have he done to deserve such thing. How can the world be so cruel to him? He just wanted to get a new life. He was tired being bullied. He was tired of starting his day with fear. Just when would come a time where he could enjoy his life to the fullest?
Looking around the room, he knew, he was trapped in hell and he couldn’t get out. For the whole three years.
***
Valentine’s Day. Yamada was walking sloppily, making his way to his classroom. He knew that this day would suck again. Nothing better.
He opened his locker first. He was greeted by a letter. With a knotted forehead, he opened and read it.
“I like you. Happy Valentine’s Day. - Yuto Nakajima”
He crumpled the paper for he knew it was another type of bullying him.
He came to their room as silently sat on his seat which was on the back. Then Yuto came to him. The whole class was looking at them, they were obviously trying not to smile.
> Yuto handed him a box of chocolates.”Accept my feelings.”
He looked at him, questioning.
“I’m serious.” Yuto said.
He sighed and got the chocolates.
“That’s it? Just the chocolates?” Yuto asked while smiling. His heart went crazy as he looked at him. What was that for? How could he react like that when he was the one who bullied him?
He just turned his back on Yuto and put the chocolate on his desk.
Yuto faced him. “Yamada Ryosuke, everyone knows how serious I am to you. I am sorry for what I did. I truly am. I love you. So please accept my feelings.” He said with a serious face. They were staring at each other and he felt his heart ached.
It wasn’t aching because he was hurt. It was aching because for the first time, he received a love without asking for it. He felt happy. He felt treasured.
He slowly smiled at him and nodded.
“Yosh!” Yuto shouted and hugged him.
Then he was pulled closer to him. Yuto was holding his hand tightly and looked at their classmates. “Starting today, Yamada Ryosuke is my boyfriend and no one can touch and harm him. Bullying him is a no-no! Understood?” Yuto said.
All their classmates smiled and said, “Understood!”
***
He never thought being in love was this nice. It felt as though he was in heaven. Truly, no one bullied him anymore. Yuto stayed by his side always. It was just for a week yet he knew he was falling so deep in love with Yuto.
Another morning came and he started that day with a smile. It wasn’t the same before that he would start it with a frown. And that he wanted to end the day fast. Now, he wanted time to slow by.
Smiling, he went to their room. He was standing on the door and breathed. He almost opened the door when he heard his classmates and Yuto were talking.
“It has been a week, right?” A girl classmate of them asked.
“Yeah.” He heard Yuto answer.
“Why are you still staying on his side? Our bet was only for five days.” One guy asked.
“I forgot. Today, I’ll break up with him.” Yuto said.
“That’s our man!” they all shouted in chorus and then laughed.
Without hesitation, he backed out. He went back to his way from home. Tears started coming out again. It hurts. It hurts so much. Getting a broken heart hurts even more than being bullied. He was being an idiot. He knew it was coming yet be denied and tried to believe that what Yuto was true. That he loved him.
It was all his fault why he was hurting that way. He opened his heart to the guy whom he hated the most. He let his guard down. And now, he was suffering.
Still crying, his vision went blurry. He didn’t know where he was going. Then all he could hear was the screeching of the wheels.
..
“Bring him to the hospital!”
***
Yamada woke up as he was blinded by a light. He looked around saw a guy on his side. He didn’t know him and he bet that it was older than him by a few years.
“Are you hurting anywhere?” The guy asked.
“Uhm…”He felt his body. “N-no.”
“I’m sorry for what I did. But it wasn’t completely my fault. You walked on the road even though it was a ‘Go’ signal.” The guy said.
“Ah… sorry for the trouble.”
“I’m Yabu Kouta. And you are?”
“Y-yamada Ryosuke.” He said.
The guy smiled at him. “Nice meeting you.”
He smiled back.
***
“What happened to you?” Yuto asked him as soon as he entered the classroom. His left arm was in a sling.
He just looked at him blankly and went to his seat.
“Hey, I am asking you. Why are you ignoring me?” Yuto asked as he followed him.
He just continued ignoring him as he tried to get his textbooks. He was surprised when Yuto got them and throw them to the floor.
“Why are you ignoring your boyfriend? You are absent for a week and now you’re not talking to me?” Yuto asked.
“Why? Does it matter? Your bet with them was only for five days. Why are you still acting like a full pledge boy friend?” He snapped at him as tears started forming on his eyes again.
> “W-what…”
“Don’t act as though you’re an innocent person, Yuto. Stop it. I heard it all.”
“No, listen to me-“
“Stop acting like a boyfriend to me. It’s gross.” He said as he glared at him. He tried his best to hold his tears.
Yuto just looked at him then smiled. “Okay.” Then Yuto looked at their classmates. “We’re over.”
Now, that hurts even more.
***
Two years had passed and he was on his third year high school. He was almost graduating. After that incident, he never talked to any of his classmates. He acted like Yuto wasn’t existing in his world. Although they were still bullying him, he just ignored them.
It hurts. But it felt like he was already numb. What Yuto did made him numb from feeling any more pain.
“Good morning, ex-boyfriend.” Yuto greeted him with a smile.
He just looked at Yuto and continued to his seat.
“We’re three years now,” Yuto stated.
He sighed and got his notebook and ballpen. It would be best to ignore him and to study. But Yuto just grabbed them from his hands and threw it to the trashcan as though he was a basketball player.
“H-hey,” he said.
“You want it? Come and get it!” Yuto said as he smirked.
Before he could make to the trashcan, Yuto was already there. Stepping his foot inside the can. Maybe his notebook was now all ruined. “You still want it?” Yuto mocked.
One of his classmates threw juice to the can and all the garbage was all wet. He still didn’t give up and looked for his pen.
“You still didn’t give up, huh.” Yuto said.
“I won’t,” he said firmly.
Then Yuto spit. He looked at him with his sad eyes.
“What? You said you won’t give up.” Yuto mocked again.
gnoring the spit, he put his hand on the trashcan and tried to look for his pen. He found it at last. Unfortunately, it was covered with Yuto’s saliva.
> He clenched his hand as he looked at Yuto. The latter just raised an eyebrow.
He then turned away from him and went back to his seat.
Yuto, just remember this day. Someday, I’ll make you kneel for my forgiveness, he muttered.
***
“What’s with that face? Had a long day again?” Yabu asked as they met in a restaurant. After that incident, they kept in touched with each other.
He just sighed and took a sip of his juice. “What is it that you want to say to me, Yabu-kun?” he asked, changing the topic.
“Must be a really pretty hard day, huh.” Yabu commented while looking deeply at him. “Oh, do you want a part-time job, Yama-chan?” he asked.
He knotted his forehead. “Part-time job? What kind of job is that?” he asked.
“Entertainer.”
“You mean, in clubs? No way!” he said.
“As an idol, stupid.” Yabu said. “Do you want it?”
“Not interested.” He said, shrugging.
“Oh, really?” Yabu asked. “Too bad. Who knows, if you would become a super star, those people who bullied you will ask for your forgiveness.”
He looked at Yabu with his widened eyes. “R-really?”
“Look at that expression. You got excited instantly. As I thought.” Yabu commented with a slight laugh.
“Please make me a super star, Yabu-kun.” He said as he stood up then bowed down.
Yabu just smiled. “I can make you one, it’s your effort that would bring you your desired fame.”
He smiled widely. “I’ll do my best!”
***
It all started from that day. He didn’t know it would come true. The fame he wanted was now on his hands. Now, all he wanted was the people who bullied him to ask for his forgiveness.
Some of them already said sorry. Yet, he didn’t felt that it was already enough. The only person he wanted to recognize him now was Yuto Nakajima.
“Hey!” Yabu waved a hand at him. “What keep you is such a deep thought?”
He stirred his thoughts back. “Ah, nothing.” He said.
“I said stop thinking about him.” Yabu commented.
With a sigh, he gathered the gifts that are scattered on his table that was given by his fans. “There are too many gifts today,” he commented. He picked up the box covered with red that stood out from the rest. “I’ll just have this.” He said.
ldquo;What about the rest?” Yabu asked.
He just shrugged and went to the car waiting for him.
***
As soon as he got inside the car, he looked at the box and smiled. Without getting excited, he slowly opened the box. Now, he was curious why it didn’t have a gift inside.
He laughed a little. At least, this little thing made him laugh a bit. He leaned back to the soft seat of his car as they sped away.
He got the little note from the box and read aloud.
“How are you? It has already been so long. I am like this box, empty without you.”
- NY
His hands were shaking as he put down the letter. His heart started pounding endlessly. He knew it might not be Yuto but a little side of his heart whispered it was him. NY. Nakajima Yuto. Now, he can say it for the third time. What a small world…
***
He was scheduled to perform his latest song on Music Station that day.
He listen songs from his iPhone as he was on his waiting room. A song from years ago played.
“And I almost had you, but I guess that doesn’t count it…
Almost loved you…
I almost wished you could have loved me too…”
Almost by Bowling for Soup. He sighed. He didn’t know but he remembered Yuto. Did he really almost wish that Yuto loved him for real?
The door opened as he put off his music.
“It is already my stage, Yabu-kun?” he said as he turned around. He felt a sudden tug on his stomach as he saw the intruder who came in.
“How are you, Yama-chan?” the guy asked as he smiled.
“W-what are you doing here, Yuto?” he asked.
“Why? Is bad to see my ex-boyfriend after years? I missed you.” Yuto said as he made his way near him.
Yamada held his breath. He felt his heart clenched. “Stay away from me. Why did you have to be here again? Why did you have to see me? It was for the best not to see you anymore!” he yelled. He was no longer a crybaby, that was what he thought. But seeing Yuto in front of him made his tears started forming on his eyes again.
“Yama-chan-“
“Yama-chan! It’s your turn already!” Yabu said as he came in. he knotted a forehead as he exchange looks at the two. “Or… I could ask them to cancel it…” Yabu continued.
Sighing, Yamada started walking away. “I’ll perform.”
***
“So, that was the person that hurt you, Yama-chan?” Yabu asked as they made their way home.
He stayed silent as he closed his eyes.
“You know, it’s not bad to listen to him sometimes. People always have reasons.” Yabu said.
“You don’t know what he did to me, Yabu-kun. You don’t have a clue.” He mumbled.
“As I say, people have reasons. And people change.”
“Yes, people change. And I’ll prove to him that I’ve changed.” He stated as he gritted his teeth.
“How? When I looked at you back then, it’s as though you went back to the Yamada I knew years ago in front of him.”
“Shut up.”
***
“Today you are scheduled to have a photoshoot for An-An, Yama-chan.” Yabu said as he looked through his schedules.
“Do I have to do that?” he asked as he made a face.
“You don’t have to pose in nude. Just do some sexy poses.” Yabu pointed out.
He sighed.
“We’re here.” Yabu announced.
They made their way to a room. And he was changed into nothing but robe.
“Where’s the photographer?” Yabu asked.
“Y-yabu-kun, can we just cancel this? I suddenly felt like… giving up.”
“You should have told that sooner. Okay, just pretend that you’re all alone. Ah! The photographer’s here.”
He looked at the guy coming and he felt as though his world crumbled. “Y-y-yuto…”
“Oh, hi Yama-chan.” The guy greeted him with a smile.
“W-what are you doing here!?” he snapped.
“Well, as you can see, I am the photographer.” Yuto beamed.
“N-no way.”
***
With his heart pounding endlessly, he tried his best to pose for a sexy shot. He sighed. He knew his pictures won’t look good.
“Sexier! Sexier!” Yabu shouted.
He kept on sighing and was just standing there without doing anything. Yuto just kept on taking pictures though.
“Enough!” Yuto shouted. “Let’s change our model.”
“W-why?” Yabu asked.
“I think Yama-chan’s not doing fine.” Yuto said as he came nearer to Yamada. Yuto grabbed him and brought him to a room.
“Change your clothes now.”
“O-okay.”
After he changed, he came to Yuto. “Why did you do that?”
“What?”
“To change a model.”
“I know you’re against it.” Yuto said.
“How…”
“I’ve known you for years.” Yuto said with a smile.
Now, hearing Yuto said it brings hatred to his heart again. He tried to walk away past him. He needed to get out from that room now. Before anything else happens. He knows his heart wasn’t ready to see him yet. He wasn’t ready to forgive him.
Yuto stopped him by holding his arm tightly.
“Let me go.” He said.
“No. Not anymore.” Yuto said firmly.
“What else do you want?” He said as he tried to look straight to his eyes.
“You. I want you.” Yuto said.
He felt his heart skipped a beat yet he stopped it. “This is not funny anymore. If this is another way of bullying me, just please stop it. I’m tired of it all Yuto. For years, you played with me…” he said as his eyes started watering.
“Me too. I’m tired of pretending that I was just playing with you. My heart hurts seeing you every time you give me that hurt look. I want to kill myself for hurting you so much. I’ve been a fool, I know. But please, Yama-chan, believe me when I say…”
“Shut up! Shut up, Yuto!” He yelled as he grabbed his arm from his and covered his ears. “I don’t want to hear it.” His tears started falling now.
“Believe me when I say I love you.” Yuto said as he swallowed. Tears were visible on his eyes too.
He looked at him with wide eyes.
“I loved you ever since you collided me back then in middle school. I was just… I was bullying you because I like you! I want your attention, Yama-chan.”
He blinked as he tried to remember that day.
“When we graduated from middle school, I paid our teacher only to know where you are going in high school. So I enrolled there too. I even forced some of our classmates to enroll there too. I was just afraid to be alone with you. Every time you are around, you made me nervous and I don’t know what to do…”
“That bet-“
“That wasn’t for you. They made a bet that I would make a relationship with another freshman. I was planning to really break up with him because I have fallen in love with you. When I confessed to you back then in Valentine’s Day, that was for real. Believe me, Yama-chan. Please believe me.”
“No. That’s all a lie! All of them are lies!” he yelled as tears are uncontrollably falling down on his pale cheeks. “They’re all lies, Yuto…”
“I almost want to kill myself when you met an accident when you broke up with me. It pains me every time you’re ignoring me. So I went back to being a bully again…” Yuto continued as tears also fell down from his eyes.
“I love you, Yama-chan. Is it really that hard to believe it?” Yuto asked, his voice was full of hurt. “Please, just believe me this time. I promise not to hurt you again. Just… just please give me another chance. I don’t want to become your ex-boyfriend. I want to be your boyfriend forever and even longer than that…”
He swallowed hard and harshly wiped his tears. “No.” he said firmly as he walked away. Yuto hugged his from behind. “Let me go.”
Slowly and slowly, Yuto let him go. His heart sank then he looked at him. There it was, the Yuto Nakajima he knew, was kneeling on the ground, with his tears on his eyes. “Forgive me, Yama-chan. I love you.”
All he wanted to hear was that he wanted forgiveness, he didn’t asked the ‘I love you’… he nodded slowly. “You’re forgiven.” Then walked away.
As soon as he closed the door of the room, he cried. He grown weak and now he sat on the ground, sobbing. The hurt and hatred he felt… that he kept for years all vanished. He was crying his heart out now. Maybe, he can now live peacefully. Back to his normal life. He wiped his tears as he heard Yuto was also sobbing inside the room.
With his determined heart, he walked away from that place.
***
“Congratulations for your first concert in Tokyo Dome tonight, Yama-chan.” Yabu greeted him with a smile. “The fame you wanted… is now in your hands.”
He smiled sincerely. “Thank you.”
“But fame cannot replace love, Yama-chan.” Yabu said.
He laughed. “What are you talking about, Yabu-kun…”
“Yuto is going to leave and live for good on Paris.”
“I-I don’t care…” he said as he looked away.
“Your eyes tell the opposite one. Why don’t you just stop him, Yama-chan?” Yabu asked.
“As if I can. If I tell him to stay, will he really stay?” he said with a bitter smile.
“You never know until you try.” Yabu said with a mysterious smile.
As if hit by a lightning, he ran to his car and sped up. He was on his way to the airport. As he drove, he texted Yabu to find out what flight Yuto took.
He still has hours left for his major concert. Yabu called him up and he immediately answered.”Yabu-kun?”
“I’m sorry, Yama-chan…” yabu said with a weak voice.
“What is it, Yabu-kun? Tell me!”
“Y-yuto is not here in Japan anymore.”
His phone fell to the ground… so was his tears as he felt his heart shattered into pieces.
***
Yamada went on the center of the stage. With his broken heart, he was going to have his first concert ever. He sighed and tried to smile.
As the song started play, he started to sing. He was surprised to see his mic wasn’t working. He kept on tapping it but no sound came out.
He looked at his fans and surprised to see that their lights were formed into something. He tried to read it. There it was, formed by all their lights.
“I love U.”
He smiled bitterly and wished it was Yuto who said it. He whispered. “I love you too…”
Then the lights turned on and he had gotten weak of what he saw. In the middle of the ‘love’ word, Yuto was standing holding a banner saying ‘Please marry me.’
Tears started swelling from his eyes as he smiled.
Unbelievably, his mic was now working. “I will.” He said as he wiped the tears that managed to escape from his eyes.
Making his way to the crowd, he went near Yuto. “I will marry you, Nakajima Yuto.”
The crowd started cheering. “That would be my honor, Yamada Ryosuke.”
They closed the gap between them and sealed their scene with a deep kiss. The crowd got wilder.
They are now crying while yelling ‘Take care of our Yama-chan!’
Yuto grabbed the mic from his hands and smiled widely. “I will. Forever and even longer than that.” Then he put the mic down.
“What about your flight?”
“Oh, that was… I cancelled it.” Yuto said with a wide smile. “I can’t take to stay away from you again. Even if I have to stay as your fan, I will.”
“Good for you that my fans worked with you.”
“No, they beat me up first.” Yuto pouted. “See these bruises?”
And true enough, his face was full of bruises.
Laughing, he kissed Yuto again. “I love you.”
“I love you more.”
“I love you more than more.”
Yuto just grinned. “I love you more than more than more.”
As their lips met, their heart beat as one. Then the crowd started crying again…
***
~*My longest one-shot ever! Haha. As you can see, I suck at writing one-shots. Not that I’m good in doing multi-chapters though. LOL.
PS: Sorry if when you were reading it it looked messy. LJ's messing up with me. if I edit it it says 'Post too large'. I got tired of it... I was trying for almost an hour. My arm hurts. D:
Pairing: Ryosuke Yamada x Yuto Nakajima (YamaJima)
Author: Keanne (keannegirl01 )
Genre: Angst; Fluff
Rating: PG
Word Count: 5,211 words
Summary: Yamada Ryosuke is a super star but no one knows why he tried his best to achieve that fame. All because he was bullied when he was in middle school and high school. He swore he would make that guy kneel in front of him… that guy named Yuto Nakajima.
Requested by: Vai old hag (v28dewanta )
Il Segreto
Yamada gasped for air as he finished his performance for that night. As usual, he did his best and it seemed it paid off. His fans started screaming widely. His uchiwas could be seen everywhere. Well, it’s as though he was surprised. He got used to it all. He bowed down and gave a satisfied smile as he went off from the stage, making his way to the backstage. He was still panting when his manager, Yabu Kouta, handed him a towel.
“Thanks,” he said with a smile.
Yabu just smiled back. “You can thank me, just please stop giving me that fake smile.” He said “Seriously, I don’t get why many fans went crazy over you. Can’t they see your half-hearted smile?”
He grinned and then let out a sigh. What Yabu stated was true after all. When he debuted, he knew he was adorable and innocent with those flashy smile but now, they’re gone. He got worse, he knew it himself.
“Stop thinking about him. I know it’s because of that person again.” Yabu commented as he noticed the young boy fell silent.
Yamada looked down, avoiding his manager’s gaze. They knew each other long ago so Yabu can read him easily now. He was right again. It was just because of one person.
Yuto Nakajima. Remembering his name made his heart clutch with hurt and hatred. He was still hurting although it was long ago.
Middle School
Yamada looked at the paper posted on the bulletin. It was his last year in middle school and he was hoping for new classmates. His eyes were clouded with sadness as he noticed he still had the same classmates.
Looking down, he made his was to his new class room. He wasn’t looking in the way so he didn’t notice someone was coming to him. He fell hard on the ground. He looked at the person whom he collided only to see an evil smirk.
“What the hell are you thinking?! Look where you are going, idiot!” A tall guy yelled at him, calling other student’s attention.
He swallowed as he tried to mouth ‘sorry’ when the guy handed him a hand. He reached it but the guy moved his hand away. “Just kidding,” the guy said as he smirked even more, causing others to laugh on him.
Then the guy walked away. He sighed and tried to get his self up. Then he went straight to his room.
***
As soon as he entered the room, the guys feel silent and the girls started gossiping. He went straight to the back for a seat.
“Oi, that’s my seat!” A guy yelled.
He looked at the guy and bowed down, showing that he was sorry. He chose another seat and the same thing happened. One by one yelled that it was their seat. He looked around and found another seat, near a window. As he made his way to it, someone ran fast and sat on the chair.
<“This is my seat.” The guy whom he collided a while ago declared in front of him with a grin. He just tried to smile and nodded.
“O-okay,” he said in a weak voice.
< The guy looked at him deeply in the eyes. He bit his lower lip.
“Take this seat then.” The guy offered as he stood up.
He brightened and acted to take a seat only to get pushed away. “I was just kidding,” the guy said again. The whole class laughed at him.
With heavy steps, he went back to the back and stood to the corner. He’ll just wait for his teacher to assign him a seat.
***
With a year of his classmates endlessly teasing and bullying him, he managed to last. He wanted to stop school but he was still young. He asked his parents to let him transfer but they didn’t agree. He couldn’t tell them that he was being bullied.
Every time a day starts, his morning starts sadly. He wanted time to fly fast and when a day ends, he would go home happily. But sometimes, he just couldn’t take it.
“Good morning, Yama-chan.” His female classmate greeted him.
nbsp; He was surprised at first but he felt happy. He smiled and greeted back. “Good morning.”
“Oh, will you pass by on the exit door? The entrance door of our room wasn’t working properly.” She said with a smile.
Smiling even more brightly, he nodded.
He came in first. He slowly pushed the door and he was surprised to see his classmates were all smiling to him. He looked at them, wondering what happened. Then, a bucket of water splashed on him. He looked up and saw that a pail was hanging on the door. The room was filled with roars of laughter.
He looked down on his wet uniform. It wasn’t just his uniform that got wet. It was as though a heavy rain poured down on him. He got his handkerchief from his pocket and wiped his self.
Slowly by slowly, his sight got blurry. His tears started falling down on his cheeks as he continued to look down.
“Oops. I didn’t know this will happen. Sorry, Yama-chan.” The girl who suggested him to get inside from that door entered the room with a wide smile.
His classmates were giving her thumbs up.
A tall guy, whom he knew named as Yuto Nakajima, clapped his hand and others fell silent. “How can you be so cruel to Yama-chan.” He said as he gave him a pitiful smile.
“Eh? You’re the one who suggested and put that water there, Yuto!” A boy classmate said with a laugh.
Soon after that, Yuto’s pitiful reaction was replaced with a big smile that even his teeth were showing.
He looked down again as tears started to fall down.
He needed to go home now. He turned his back on them and went outside. He slowly walked on the hallway.
> “Where are you going?” a familiar voice asked him.
He gulped and he looked back to see Yuto. “G-going home.” He answered as his voice wavered. He felt so cold.
“Oh. Okay.” Yuto said as he nodded.
He went back on walking. Then he heard Yuto shouted “It’s good if you won’t come back in this school, ever.”
A while ago, he was just crying silently but now, it turned into sobs.
***
High School
A new year, a new school. It was the moment he was waiting for. He can now get away from his mean classmates, including Yuto.
He looked at the school’s bulletin and saw his name. “1-D.” he said.
He didn’t know where it was so he asked the guy in front of him. He was tall that he stood out from the crowd.
“Excuse me, where is the classroom for 1-D?” he asked with a humble smile.
The guy slowly turned to him and his smile faded. People usually say ‘What a small world.’, so it must have been true. Because the guy in front of him was the guy he was most afraid to face again, no other than Yuto.
> He swallowed and turned his back from him, then he started walking away. Fear was visible on his eyes.
Before he could go far, big hands owned by Yuto stopped his shoulders and held there, tightly. “What did you ask?”
“N-never mind.” He said.
“What did you ask?” Yuto asked again, as if he was demanding.
“W-w-where’s the room of 1-D…” He asked as he stuttered.
“Come with me.”
“E-e-eh?”
“We’re classmates.” Yuto stated with a smirk. That evil smirk he couldn’t forget all his life.
***
Yuto opened the door of 1-D as he stayed silent on his side. He was looking down.
“He’s here.” Yuto announced.
He looked up and surprised to see his old classmates way back middle school. What a small world indeed. He chose this school for it was a bit far from his home, hoping he would meet different people from his past school.
He wondered, what have he done to deserve such thing. How can the world be so cruel to him? He just wanted to get a new life. He was tired being bullied. He was tired of starting his day with fear. Just when would come a time where he could enjoy his life to the fullest?
Looking around the room, he knew, he was trapped in hell and he couldn’t get out. For the whole three years.
***
Valentine’s Day. Yamada was walking sloppily, making his way to his classroom. He knew that this day would suck again. Nothing better.
He opened his locker first. He was greeted by a letter. With a knotted forehead, he opened and read it.
“I like you. Happy Valentine’s Day. - Yuto Nakajima”
He crumpled the paper for he knew it was another type of bullying him.
He came to their room as silently sat on his seat which was on the back. Then Yuto came to him. The whole class was looking at them, they were obviously trying not to smile.
> Yuto handed him a box of chocolates.”Accept my feelings.”
He looked at him, questioning.
“I’m serious.” Yuto said.
He sighed and got the chocolates.
“That’s it? Just the chocolates?” Yuto asked while smiling. His heart went crazy as he looked at him. What was that for? How could he react like that when he was the one who bullied him?
He just turned his back on Yuto and put the chocolate on his desk.
Yuto faced him. “Yamada Ryosuke, everyone knows how serious I am to you. I am sorry for what I did. I truly am. I love you. So please accept my feelings.” He said with a serious face. They were staring at each other and he felt his heart ached.
It wasn’t aching because he was hurt. It was aching because for the first time, he received a love without asking for it. He felt happy. He felt treasured.
He slowly smiled at him and nodded.
“Yosh!” Yuto shouted and hugged him.
Then he was pulled closer to him. Yuto was holding his hand tightly and looked at their classmates. “Starting today, Yamada Ryosuke is my boyfriend and no one can touch and harm him. Bullying him is a no-no! Understood?” Yuto said.
All their classmates smiled and said, “Understood!”
***
He never thought being in love was this nice. It felt as though he was in heaven. Truly, no one bullied him anymore. Yuto stayed by his side always. It was just for a week yet he knew he was falling so deep in love with Yuto.
Another morning came and he started that day with a smile. It wasn’t the same before that he would start it with a frown. And that he wanted to end the day fast. Now, he wanted time to slow by.
Smiling, he went to their room. He was standing on the door and breathed. He almost opened the door when he heard his classmates and Yuto were talking.
“It has been a week, right?” A girl classmate of them asked.
“Yeah.” He heard Yuto answer.
“Why are you still staying on his side? Our bet was only for five days.” One guy asked.
“I forgot. Today, I’ll break up with him.” Yuto said.
“That’s our man!” they all shouted in chorus and then laughed.
Without hesitation, he backed out. He went back to his way from home. Tears started coming out again. It hurts. It hurts so much. Getting a broken heart hurts even more than being bullied. He was being an idiot. He knew it was coming yet be denied and tried to believe that what Yuto was true. That he loved him.
It was all his fault why he was hurting that way. He opened his heart to the guy whom he hated the most. He let his guard down. And now, he was suffering.
Still crying, his vision went blurry. He didn’t know where he was going. Then all he could hear was the screeching of the wheels.
..
“Bring him to the hospital!”
***
Yamada woke up as he was blinded by a light. He looked around saw a guy on his side. He didn’t know him and he bet that it was older than him by a few years.
“Are you hurting anywhere?” The guy asked.
“Uhm…”He felt his body. “N-no.”
“I’m sorry for what I did. But it wasn’t completely my fault. You walked on the road even though it was a ‘Go’ signal.” The guy said.
“Ah… sorry for the trouble.”
“I’m Yabu Kouta. And you are?”
“Y-yamada Ryosuke.” He said.
The guy smiled at him. “Nice meeting you.”
He smiled back.
***
“What happened to you?” Yuto asked him as soon as he entered the classroom. His left arm was in a sling.
He just looked at him blankly and went to his seat.
“Hey, I am asking you. Why are you ignoring me?” Yuto asked as he followed him.
He just continued ignoring him as he tried to get his textbooks. He was surprised when Yuto got them and throw them to the floor.
“Why are you ignoring your boyfriend? You are absent for a week and now you’re not talking to me?” Yuto asked.
“Why? Does it matter? Your bet with them was only for five days. Why are you still acting like a full pledge boy friend?” He snapped at him as tears started forming on his eyes again.
> “W-what…”
“Don’t act as though you’re an innocent person, Yuto. Stop it. I heard it all.”
“No, listen to me-“
“Stop acting like a boyfriend to me. It’s gross.” He said as he glared at him. He tried his best to hold his tears.
Yuto just looked at him then smiled. “Okay.” Then Yuto looked at their classmates. “We’re over.”
Now, that hurts even more.
***
Two years had passed and he was on his third year high school. He was almost graduating. After that incident, he never talked to any of his classmates. He acted like Yuto wasn’t existing in his world. Although they were still bullying him, he just ignored them.
It hurts. But it felt like he was already numb. What Yuto did made him numb from feeling any more pain.
“Good morning, ex-boyfriend.” Yuto greeted him with a smile.
He just looked at Yuto and continued to his seat.
“We’re three years now,” Yuto stated.
He sighed and got his notebook and ballpen. It would be best to ignore him and to study. But Yuto just grabbed them from his hands and threw it to the trashcan as though he was a basketball player.
“H-hey,” he said.
“You want it? Come and get it!” Yuto said as he smirked.
Before he could make to the trashcan, Yuto was already there. Stepping his foot inside the can. Maybe his notebook was now all ruined. “You still want it?” Yuto mocked.
One of his classmates threw juice to the can and all the garbage was all wet. He still didn’t give up and looked for his pen.
“You still didn’t give up, huh.” Yuto said.
“I won’t,” he said firmly.
Then Yuto spit. He looked at him with his sad eyes.
“What? You said you won’t give up.” Yuto mocked again.
gnoring the spit, he put his hand on the trashcan and tried to look for his pen. He found it at last. Unfortunately, it was covered with Yuto’s saliva.
> He clenched his hand as he looked at Yuto. The latter just raised an eyebrow.
He then turned away from him and went back to his seat.
Yuto, just remember this day. Someday, I’ll make you kneel for my forgiveness, he muttered.
***
“What’s with that face? Had a long day again?” Yabu asked as they met in a restaurant. After that incident, they kept in touched with each other.
He just sighed and took a sip of his juice. “What is it that you want to say to me, Yabu-kun?” he asked, changing the topic.
“Must be a really pretty hard day, huh.” Yabu commented while looking deeply at him. “Oh, do you want a part-time job, Yama-chan?” he asked.
He knotted his forehead. “Part-time job? What kind of job is that?” he asked.
“Entertainer.”
“You mean, in clubs? No way!” he said.
“As an idol, stupid.” Yabu said. “Do you want it?”
“Not interested.” He said, shrugging.
“Oh, really?” Yabu asked. “Too bad. Who knows, if you would become a super star, those people who bullied you will ask for your forgiveness.”
He looked at Yabu with his widened eyes. “R-really?”
“Look at that expression. You got excited instantly. As I thought.” Yabu commented with a slight laugh.
“Please make me a super star, Yabu-kun.” He said as he stood up then bowed down.
Yabu just smiled. “I can make you one, it’s your effort that would bring you your desired fame.”
He smiled widely. “I’ll do my best!”
***
It all started from that day. He didn’t know it would come true. The fame he wanted was now on his hands. Now, all he wanted was the people who bullied him to ask for his forgiveness.
Some of them already said sorry. Yet, he didn’t felt that it was already enough. The only person he wanted to recognize him now was Yuto Nakajima.
“Hey!” Yabu waved a hand at him. “What keep you is such a deep thought?”
He stirred his thoughts back. “Ah, nothing.” He said.
“I said stop thinking about him.” Yabu commented.
With a sigh, he gathered the gifts that are scattered on his table that was given by his fans. “There are too many gifts today,” he commented. He picked up the box covered with red that stood out from the rest. “I’ll just have this.” He said.
ldquo;What about the rest?” Yabu asked.
He just shrugged and went to the car waiting for him.
***
As soon as he got inside the car, he looked at the box and smiled. Without getting excited, he slowly opened the box. Now, he was curious why it didn’t have a gift inside.
He laughed a little. At least, this little thing made him laugh a bit. He leaned back to the soft seat of his car as they sped away.
He got the little note from the box and read aloud.
“How are you? It has already been so long. I am like this box, empty without you.”
- NY
His hands were shaking as he put down the letter. His heart started pounding endlessly. He knew it might not be Yuto but a little side of his heart whispered it was him. NY. Nakajima Yuto. Now, he can say it for the third time. What a small world…
***
He was scheduled to perform his latest song on Music Station that day.
He listen songs from his iPhone as he was on his waiting room. A song from years ago played.
“And I almost had you, but I guess that doesn’t count it…
Almost loved you…
I almost wished you could have loved me too…”
Almost by Bowling for Soup. He sighed. He didn’t know but he remembered Yuto. Did he really almost wish that Yuto loved him for real?
The door opened as he put off his music.
“It is already my stage, Yabu-kun?” he said as he turned around. He felt a sudden tug on his stomach as he saw the intruder who came in.
“How are you, Yama-chan?” the guy asked as he smiled.
“W-what are you doing here, Yuto?” he asked.
“Why? Is bad to see my ex-boyfriend after years? I missed you.” Yuto said as he made his way near him.
Yamada held his breath. He felt his heart clenched. “Stay away from me. Why did you have to be here again? Why did you have to see me? It was for the best not to see you anymore!” he yelled. He was no longer a crybaby, that was what he thought. But seeing Yuto in front of him made his tears started forming on his eyes again.
“Yama-chan-“
“Yama-chan! It’s your turn already!” Yabu said as he came in. he knotted a forehead as he exchange looks at the two. “Or… I could ask them to cancel it…” Yabu continued.
Sighing, Yamada started walking away. “I’ll perform.”
***
“So, that was the person that hurt you, Yama-chan?” Yabu asked as they made their way home.
He stayed silent as he closed his eyes.
“You know, it’s not bad to listen to him sometimes. People always have reasons.” Yabu said.
“You don’t know what he did to me, Yabu-kun. You don’t have a clue.” He mumbled.
“As I say, people have reasons. And people change.”
“Yes, people change. And I’ll prove to him that I’ve changed.” He stated as he gritted his teeth.
“How? When I looked at you back then, it’s as though you went back to the Yamada I knew years ago in front of him.”
“Shut up.”
***
“Today you are scheduled to have a photoshoot for An-An, Yama-chan.” Yabu said as he looked through his schedules.
“Do I have to do that?” he asked as he made a face.
“You don’t have to pose in nude. Just do some sexy poses.” Yabu pointed out.
He sighed.
“We’re here.” Yabu announced.
They made their way to a room. And he was changed into nothing but robe.
“Where’s the photographer?” Yabu asked.
“Y-yabu-kun, can we just cancel this? I suddenly felt like… giving up.”
“You should have told that sooner. Okay, just pretend that you’re all alone. Ah! The photographer’s here.”
He looked at the guy coming and he felt as though his world crumbled. “Y-y-yuto…”
“Oh, hi Yama-chan.” The guy greeted him with a smile.
“W-what are you doing here!?” he snapped.
“Well, as you can see, I am the photographer.” Yuto beamed.
“N-no way.”
***
With his heart pounding endlessly, he tried his best to pose for a sexy shot. He sighed. He knew his pictures won’t look good.
“Sexier! Sexier!” Yabu shouted.
He kept on sighing and was just standing there without doing anything. Yuto just kept on taking pictures though.
“Enough!” Yuto shouted. “Let’s change our model.”
“W-why?” Yabu asked.
“I think Yama-chan’s not doing fine.” Yuto said as he came nearer to Yamada. Yuto grabbed him and brought him to a room.
“Change your clothes now.”
“O-okay.”
After he changed, he came to Yuto. “Why did you do that?”
“What?”
“To change a model.”
“I know you’re against it.” Yuto said.
“How…”
“I’ve known you for years.” Yuto said with a smile.
Now, hearing Yuto said it brings hatred to his heart again. He tried to walk away past him. He needed to get out from that room now. Before anything else happens. He knows his heart wasn’t ready to see him yet. He wasn’t ready to forgive him.
Yuto stopped him by holding his arm tightly.
“Let me go.” He said.
“No. Not anymore.” Yuto said firmly.
“What else do you want?” He said as he tried to look straight to his eyes.
“You. I want you.” Yuto said.
He felt his heart skipped a beat yet he stopped it. “This is not funny anymore. If this is another way of bullying me, just please stop it. I’m tired of it all Yuto. For years, you played with me…” he said as his eyes started watering.
“Me too. I’m tired of pretending that I was just playing with you. My heart hurts seeing you every time you give me that hurt look. I want to kill myself for hurting you so much. I’ve been a fool, I know. But please, Yama-chan, believe me when I say…”
“Shut up! Shut up, Yuto!” He yelled as he grabbed his arm from his and covered his ears. “I don’t want to hear it.” His tears started falling now.
“Believe me when I say I love you.” Yuto said as he swallowed. Tears were visible on his eyes too.
He looked at him with wide eyes.
“I loved you ever since you collided me back then in middle school. I was just… I was bullying you because I like you! I want your attention, Yama-chan.”
He blinked as he tried to remember that day.
“When we graduated from middle school, I paid our teacher only to know where you are going in high school. So I enrolled there too. I even forced some of our classmates to enroll there too. I was just afraid to be alone with you. Every time you are around, you made me nervous and I don’t know what to do…”
“That bet-“
“That wasn’t for you. They made a bet that I would make a relationship with another freshman. I was planning to really break up with him because I have fallen in love with you. When I confessed to you back then in Valentine’s Day, that was for real. Believe me, Yama-chan. Please believe me.”
“No. That’s all a lie! All of them are lies!” he yelled as tears are uncontrollably falling down on his pale cheeks. “They’re all lies, Yuto…”
“I almost want to kill myself when you met an accident when you broke up with me. It pains me every time you’re ignoring me. So I went back to being a bully again…” Yuto continued as tears also fell down from his eyes.
“I love you, Yama-chan. Is it really that hard to believe it?” Yuto asked, his voice was full of hurt. “Please, just believe me this time. I promise not to hurt you again. Just… just please give me another chance. I don’t want to become your ex-boyfriend. I want to be your boyfriend forever and even longer than that…”
He swallowed hard and harshly wiped his tears. “No.” he said firmly as he walked away. Yuto hugged his from behind. “Let me go.”
Slowly and slowly, Yuto let him go. His heart sank then he looked at him. There it was, the Yuto Nakajima he knew, was kneeling on the ground, with his tears on his eyes. “Forgive me, Yama-chan. I love you.”
All he wanted to hear was that he wanted forgiveness, he didn’t asked the ‘I love you’… he nodded slowly. “You’re forgiven.” Then walked away.
As soon as he closed the door of the room, he cried. He grown weak and now he sat on the ground, sobbing. The hurt and hatred he felt… that he kept for years all vanished. He was crying his heart out now. Maybe, he can now live peacefully. Back to his normal life. He wiped his tears as he heard Yuto was also sobbing inside the room.
With his determined heart, he walked away from that place.
***
“Congratulations for your first concert in Tokyo Dome tonight, Yama-chan.” Yabu greeted him with a smile. “The fame you wanted… is now in your hands.”
He smiled sincerely. “Thank you.”
“But fame cannot replace love, Yama-chan.” Yabu said.
He laughed. “What are you talking about, Yabu-kun…”
“Yuto is going to leave and live for good on Paris.”
“I-I don’t care…” he said as he looked away.
“Your eyes tell the opposite one. Why don’t you just stop him, Yama-chan?” Yabu asked.
“As if I can. If I tell him to stay, will he really stay?” he said with a bitter smile.
“You never know until you try.” Yabu said with a mysterious smile.
As if hit by a lightning, he ran to his car and sped up. He was on his way to the airport. As he drove, he texted Yabu to find out what flight Yuto took.
He still has hours left for his major concert. Yabu called him up and he immediately answered.”Yabu-kun?”
“I’m sorry, Yama-chan…” yabu said with a weak voice.
“What is it, Yabu-kun? Tell me!”
“Y-yuto is not here in Japan anymore.”
His phone fell to the ground… so was his tears as he felt his heart shattered into pieces.
***
Yamada went on the center of the stage. With his broken heart, he was going to have his first concert ever. He sighed and tried to smile.
As the song started play, he started to sing. He was surprised to see his mic wasn’t working. He kept on tapping it but no sound came out.
He looked at his fans and surprised to see that their lights were formed into something. He tried to read it. There it was, formed by all their lights.
“I love U.”
He smiled bitterly and wished it was Yuto who said it. He whispered. “I love you too…”
Then the lights turned on and he had gotten weak of what he saw. In the middle of the ‘love’ word, Yuto was standing holding a banner saying ‘Please marry me.’
Tears started swelling from his eyes as he smiled.
Unbelievably, his mic was now working. “I will.” He said as he wiped the tears that managed to escape from his eyes.
Making his way to the crowd, he went near Yuto. “I will marry you, Nakajima Yuto.”
The crowd started cheering. “That would be my honor, Yamada Ryosuke.”
They closed the gap between them and sealed their scene with a deep kiss. The crowd got wilder.
They are now crying while yelling ‘Take care of our Yama-chan!’
Yuto grabbed the mic from his hands and smiled widely. “I will. Forever and even longer than that.” Then he put the mic down.
“What about your flight?”
“Oh, that was… I cancelled it.” Yuto said with a wide smile. “I can’t take to stay away from you again. Even if I have to stay as your fan, I will.”
“Good for you that my fans worked with you.”
“No, they beat me up first.” Yuto pouted. “See these bruises?”
And true enough, his face was full of bruises.
Laughing, he kissed Yuto again. “I love you.”
“I love you more.”
“I love you more than more.”
Yuto just grinned. “I love you more than more than more.”
As their lips met, their heart beat as one. Then the crowd started crying again…
***
~*My longest one-shot ever! Haha. As you can see, I suck at writing one-shots. Not that I’m good in doing multi-chapters though. LOL.
PS: Sorry if when you were reading it it looked messy. LJ's messing up with me. if I edit it it says 'Post too large'. I got tired of it... I was trying for almost an hour. My arm hurts. D: