This is why..
What follows is a little venting i wrote after managing to stop crying. if you dont wanna read, keep scrolling by on your flist....
Newsanchor: Neil Patrick Harris annoucned today via twitter that he and his long time partner are going to be parents of twins using a surrogate blah blah blah blah
Dad:Unbelievable
Me: what?
Dad: that kid deserves a mother and a father.
Me: he's going to a stable and loving home either way...
Dad: homosexuals should not be allowed to raise children...
Me: what?! whats wrong with that? They're going to love that child just as much if not more than any heterosexual couple...
Dad: the whole situation...
Me: Whats wrong with love? Since when did you have a problem with two people loving each other?!
Dad: It is just immoral.
Me: 0.0 wow. really? you're just gonna say that? You're really just going to say all that bigotry like its not a big deal? What if i was gay dad? what then?
Dad: *said really fast so barely understandable* It would be what it would be,we'd fix it and move on.
Mom: Oh if you were gay it doesnt mean we would love you any less.
Me: Well apparently he would!! *gestures to father*
Dad: *remains silent and never answers*
^^^^ that right there is why ive only just this year come to terms with the fact that im bisexual. ive been hearing things like that and worse so long as ive been alived. Ive been to the Roman Catholic church where they condemn homosexuality in all forms and then gone home and heard the opinions like this from my father. Its no wonder i kept all of that aside and doubted and hated myself for so long. I had these feelings towards other girls that everywhere i turned was told they were wrong so i didnt even acknowledge them. And ive felt so much better since i have admitted that. I love myself more, im happier and more comfortable. And i mean, i always knew, these past months that ive been open about it, that my fathers opinions hadnt changed and thats why i didnt tell anybody in my family cuz i knew it wouldnt end well.
i mean my father gets this bigotry from his fucking religion, roman catholicism, and my mother is also the same religion and actually goes to church on Sundays whereas idr the last time he was even there and yet i think my mother would still love me. whats worse is my sister is probably more religious than both of them...the whole rehab a zillion times thing....so im not sure she'd still love me either if thats how my father reacted since the two of them tend to share the same views on such things. And i know and have known all of this for a very long time.
and yet today this happens and im reduced to a sobbing mess in my room. he didnt even bother at least trying to deny that he would love me less. didnt even bother TRYING.
i guess i'll always just be the less loved immoral daughter who needs fixing. [/rant]
Newsanchor: Neil Patrick Harris annoucned today via twitter that he and his long time partner are going to be parents of twins using a surrogate blah blah blah blah
Dad:Unbelievable
Me: what?
Dad: that kid deserves a mother and a father.
Me: he's going to a stable and loving home either way...
Dad: homosexuals should not be allowed to raise children...
Me: what?! whats wrong with that? They're going to love that child just as much if not more than any heterosexual couple...
Dad: the whole situation...
Me: Whats wrong with love? Since when did you have a problem with two people loving each other?!
Dad: It is just immoral.
Me: 0.0 wow. really? you're just gonna say that? You're really just going to say all that bigotry like its not a big deal? What if i was gay dad? what then?
Dad: *said really fast so barely understandable* It would be what it would be,we'd fix it and move on.
Mom: Oh if you were gay it doesnt mean we would love you any less.
Me: Well apparently he would!! *gestures to father*
Dad: *remains silent and never answers*
^^^^ that right there is why ive only just this year come to terms with the fact that im bisexual. ive been hearing things like that and worse so long as ive been alived. Ive been to the Roman Catholic church where they condemn homosexuality in all forms and then gone home and heard the opinions like this from my father. Its no wonder i kept all of that aside and doubted and hated myself for so long. I had these feelings towards other girls that everywhere i turned was told they were wrong so i didnt even acknowledge them. And ive felt so much better since i have admitted that. I love myself more, im happier and more comfortable. And i mean, i always knew, these past months that ive been open about it, that my fathers opinions hadnt changed and thats why i didnt tell anybody in my family cuz i knew it wouldnt end well.
i mean my father gets this bigotry from his fucking religion, roman catholicism, and my mother is also the same religion and actually goes to church on Sundays whereas idr the last time he was even there and yet i think my mother would still love me. whats worse is my sister is probably more religious than both of them...the whole rehab a zillion times thing....so im not sure she'd still love me either if thats how my father reacted since the two of them tend to share the same views on such things. And i know and have known all of this for a very long time.
and yet today this happens and im reduced to a sobbing mess in my room. he didnt even bother at least trying to deny that he would love me less. didnt even bother TRYING.
i guess i'll always just be the less loved immoral daughter who needs fixing. [/rant]