I Wear No Pants
What follows is an account and my musings on the past few days...
oh yeah. so i just saw a commercial while watching the Ice Road Truckers marathon on the history channel just now....yes i watch that show and hellz fucking yes i watch the history channel....anyways this is the youtube link to said commercial: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nys0i_FRjTI
im sorry but thats just plain hysterical. not to mention the story of my life right now....yes folks due to sunburn incurred on last saturday at Pt. Pleasant after prom (reference my entry "i dont wanna miss a thing" for further details). I got a ton of sunburn inexplicable and it was bad around my waist so i could legit wear pants. i have been forced to stay home becuase the only thing i could wear was a large tshirt i normally wear to bed.
Right now i just wanna call shenanagins on the sunblock i used! clearly it failed me epicly. angryy. i was so thrilled to be hanging on the beach in my bathing suit and not covering myself up in clothes. i honestly have never been happy with the way my body looked, which if any of you have seen pictures of me is honestly kinda stupid cuz im not hideous. i have nice normal-ish body. however, im finally happy with it. i think and know its rocking. but no. i get sunburned and am forced to stay home from school and keep my new sexy body covered up cuz its been mutilated by the sun *stares threateningly at the Sun and mutters* "do that again i'll unleash Carter on you!!"
speaking of Carter--slight SGU spoilers ahead---HE CALLED HER SAM!!!!! GAHHH! ok ok ok. i know its a small little moment and its yet another little crumb of a hint at Sam and Jack's life together but its better than FREAKING NOTHING!! Just gah. look at that moment. Not only was he in front of all of Homeworld Security but she was on the bridge of her ship. that means EVERYBODY heard it. AAND he totally could have said "sorry carter," or "sorry colonel" NO NO NO. he specifically said "Sam." which if my memory serves me right hasnt happened since maybe season2 or 3?!!!! SO MARRIED [/insane shipper sqeeing]
speaking of [/] just watched the NCIS season finale a week or so late!!! OMG LEROY JETHRO GIBBS <3 i love that man. that episode was so badass and such a great further insight into the mysterious man that is Jethro. At the same time it had its lighthearted moments and a small shipper moment. at the end when Ziva was being sworn in as a citizen and she looks to her empty side and then the shot cut elsewhere, it cut to Tony first. *cough* they might be toghether *cough* and yeah i love that show i could sit and watch it for hours and hours. The characters are spectactular. their interaction is hilarious and touching. i want abby's wardrobe/her. i want jethro. i love that show!!!!
that season finale totally messed me up and i swear if that mexican cartell skankorilla kills papa gibbs i am going to hunt her down with jethro!! haha XD
And omgg. i watched some CSI this week. GAH! i have missed that show! it was my first fandom and ship and i missedd ittt!!! it was wiity and smart and i really love that show. i watched so many hours of this week while home from school it was a little insane. it made me very nostalgic for the days i used to spend just laying around, no cares in the world, just watching it for hours at a time laughing at the wit of the characters, giggling at Gregs shenanagins, lapping of the genius of my first silverfox gil grissom, eagerly awaiting the day when GSR would be canon, squeeing at the cutest moments between Cath and Warrick unawares of his doomed fate. *siiigh* i really love that show. i may have to break out all the seasons of it i own on DVD and watch some episodes from time to time. if only to remember my first fandom and bask in the glee of the ONLY SHIP I HAVE THAT HAS GONE CANON AND OFFICIALLY WORKED OUT!!! Ohh GSR! I named you, waited for you and when you arrived for ever, you were glorious. *wipes away a tear of joy and sadness* hahaha god im a nerd XD
all of which as been a few of excellent distractions from the fact that once again my sisters in rehab. now i may sound like a coldhearted bitch but i am completely and totally OVER her shit. she's been in and out of rehab for the past three years of my life. she's all "oh i love you, i dont want to hurt you." and then poof this bullshit happens. dont wanna hurt me/us? then get serious about getting healthy. i know that she has been anorexic for so long now that at her age its going to be hard to break old habits, but honestly. shes been to some of the top rehab centers in this country for her treatment, and now various hospitals. she has been handed over and over and over the resources and oppurtunity to get the help she needs. and its not like she has to worry about getting fired the people at her law firm were the ones who originally shipped her out to Arizona three years ago!
its just gotten to a point where for my health and happiness i cant be involved in this anymore. I love my sister, she has been nothing but simply amazing to me (minus the whole tattoo/college money thing lol) she is my sister, and no matter what i will always love her. But sometimes you have to put yourself first. I mean right now i have been doing so fantastic. I am happy and comfortable with who i am as a person. Im graduating and moving onto college. I have amazing real life and online friends who love and support me no matter what. im in love. Im going strong in my sobriety and to be honest until i typed this i had not honestly thought about that for well over a month. I dont know, ive just been happy. and thats been so rare in my life. And everytime she goes back it just hurts and bothers me and brings me down so much. I cant deal with that anymore. its not conducive to my health. I talked it all over with Jeff the afternoon after she went in and he agrees with me. Though, this puts me in an awkward position at home cuz i cant be open about this with my parents and they wont understand why i dont want to go see her, not to mention it'll probably hurt my sister. but fuck them and her. I deserve to be happy.
[/rantings]
oh yeah. so i just saw a commercial while watching the Ice Road Truckers marathon on the history channel just now....yes i watch that show and hellz fucking yes i watch the history channel....anyways this is the youtube link to said commercial: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nys0i_FRjTI
im sorry but thats just plain hysterical. not to mention the story of my life right now....yes folks due to sunburn incurred on last saturday at Pt. Pleasant after prom (reference my entry "i dont wanna miss a thing" for further details). I got a ton of sunburn inexplicable and it was bad around my waist so i could legit wear pants. i have been forced to stay home becuase the only thing i could wear was a large tshirt i normally wear to bed.
Right now i just wanna call shenanagins on the sunblock i used! clearly it failed me epicly. angryy. i was so thrilled to be hanging on the beach in my bathing suit and not covering myself up in clothes. i honestly have never been happy with the way my body looked, which if any of you have seen pictures of me is honestly kinda stupid cuz im not hideous. i have nice normal-ish body. however, im finally happy with it. i think and know its rocking. but no. i get sunburned and am forced to stay home from school and keep my new sexy body covered up cuz its been mutilated by the sun *stares threateningly at the Sun and mutters* "do that again i'll unleash Carter on you!!"
speaking of Carter--slight SGU spoilers ahead---HE CALLED HER SAM!!!!! GAHHH! ok ok ok. i know its a small little moment and its yet another little crumb of a hint at Sam and Jack's life together but its better than FREAKING NOTHING!! Just gah. look at that moment. Not only was he in front of all of Homeworld Security but she was on the bridge of her ship. that means EVERYBODY heard it. AAND he totally could have said "sorry carter," or "sorry colonel" NO NO NO. he specifically said "Sam." which if my memory serves me right hasnt happened since maybe season2 or 3?!!!! SO MARRIED [/insane shipper sqeeing]
speaking of [/] just watched the NCIS season finale a week or so late!!! OMG LEROY JETHRO GIBBS <3 i love that man. that episode was so badass and such a great further insight into the mysterious man that is Jethro. At the same time it had its lighthearted moments and a small shipper moment. at the end when Ziva was being sworn in as a citizen and she looks to her empty side and then the shot cut elsewhere, it cut to Tony first. *cough* they might be toghether *cough* and yeah i love that show i could sit and watch it for hours and hours. The characters are spectactular. their interaction is hilarious and touching. i want abby's wardrobe/her. i want jethro. i love that show!!!!
that season finale totally messed me up and i swear if that mexican cartell skankorilla kills papa gibbs i am going to hunt her down with jethro!! haha XD
And omgg. i watched some CSI this week. GAH! i have missed that show! it was my first fandom and ship and i missedd ittt!!! it was wiity and smart and i really love that show. i watched so many hours of this week while home from school it was a little insane. it made me very nostalgic for the days i used to spend just laying around, no cares in the world, just watching it for hours at a time laughing at the wit of the characters, giggling at Gregs shenanagins, lapping of the genius of my first silverfox gil grissom, eagerly awaiting the day when GSR would be canon, squeeing at the cutest moments between Cath and Warrick unawares of his doomed fate. *siiigh* i really love that show. i may have to break out all the seasons of it i own on DVD and watch some episodes from time to time. if only to remember my first fandom and bask in the glee of the ONLY SHIP I HAVE THAT HAS GONE CANON AND OFFICIALLY WORKED OUT!!! Ohh GSR! I named you, waited for you and when you arrived for ever, you were glorious. *wipes away a tear of joy and sadness* hahaha god im a nerd XD
all of which as been a few of excellent distractions from the fact that once again my sisters in rehab. now i may sound like a coldhearted bitch but i am completely and totally OVER her shit. she's been in and out of rehab for the past three years of my life. she's all "oh i love you, i dont want to hurt you." and then poof this bullshit happens. dont wanna hurt me/us? then get serious about getting healthy. i know that she has been anorexic for so long now that at her age its going to be hard to break old habits, but honestly. shes been to some of the top rehab centers in this country for her treatment, and now various hospitals. she has been handed over and over and over the resources and oppurtunity to get the help she needs. and its not like she has to worry about getting fired the people at her law firm were the ones who originally shipped her out to Arizona three years ago!
its just gotten to a point where for my health and happiness i cant be involved in this anymore. I love my sister, she has been nothing but simply amazing to me (minus the whole tattoo/college money thing lol) she is my sister, and no matter what i will always love her. But sometimes you have to put yourself first. I mean right now i have been doing so fantastic. I am happy and comfortable with who i am as a person. Im graduating and moving onto college. I have amazing real life and online friends who love and support me no matter what. im in love. Im going strong in my sobriety and to be honest until i typed this i had not honestly thought about that for well over a month. I dont know, ive just been happy. and thats been so rare in my life. And everytime she goes back it just hurts and bothers me and brings me down so much. I cant deal with that anymore. its not conducive to my health. I talked it all over with Jeff the afternoon after she went in and he agrees with me. Though, this puts me in an awkward position at home cuz i cant be open about this with my parents and they wont understand why i dont want to go see her, not to mention it'll probably hurt my sister. but fuck them and her. I deserve to be happy.
[/rantings]