(no subject)

[kdsugar]

I feel shakey... like i'm waiting for something to happen

but i don't know what.

And i'm sad

And anxious

over nothing.

I feel like i'm going insane.

I'm a little ashamed that i feel like i'm losing peices. I'm entirely too "together" to feel this crazy.

There is no reason for it.

i'm disgusted at myself... and my downfalls... and my fuckin obsessive personality... and i'm sick of being insacure and feeling like i constantly let myself down and lose oppertunities... and i hate feeling like i'm not good enough and thinking that in some ways i can control that (my actions) and in others i can't (my appearance)... and i hate how i'm feeling like a nervous little creature and i can't just be one of those kool, layed back girls that everyone wants... i'm just PISSED at myself. It has to do with everything... guys i guess... my weird mood swings... how i view myself... how i look at myself incessently in the mirror to try and find away around being disappointed at what i see... its fuckin everything... and all of it i could control if i stoped acting like an asshole