So, do I get my toaster back? - Or - Thoughts on "Bride" SPOILERS
I have to say that Smallville has a reputation for wedding episodes. It's a multilayered reputation and it's not good. Honestly, if this show EVER had a good wedding episode, I'd probably die of shock. Here's the thing. Back in the sixth season, I mistakenly called Promise a crapfestival, but even that miserable, unintentionally funny episode was better than Bride. At least Promise is watchable with the intent of making fun of it. {It's just a jump to the left....lol)
This episode was bad. There aren't enough words for how bad.
What stunk (in no particular order of stinkiness):
Clark giving Chloe away. Where was Gabe? Where was General Lane? Where was any parent of any of the characters? Where was Lucy?
Chloe and Jimmy getting married in the Kents barn. (nice idea, wrong couple)
Lana coming back (and ass kicking, husky voiced and all spy like)
All the closure of ships and heart to heart chats between exes.
Chloe's something old being Clark's homecoming dance boutonierre and she's NOT MARRYING CLARK!
That Doomsday costume. Uh, Smallville, The Power Rangers called. They want their villain costume back. That is all.
In case anyone hasn't noticed, it's freaking November. It's cold in Kansas. Very, very cold. Not the time of year for weddings in unheated barns with sleeveless gowns. Unless you want to get frostbite and plan to share the ice sculptures with another couple stupid enough to get married outside. Just saying.
Clark immediately spilling everything to Lana.
Lana immediately spilling everything to Oliver.
Lois getting dissed when Lana arrives and not being kissed.
Chloe and Jimmy not getting to go on their honeymoon.
Chloe's purple lingerie...under a white gown.
Jimmy being Med-Evac'ed to STAR CITY? I realize Smallville requires it's viewers to suspend disbelief and logic when watching, but Star City is in Northern California. They could have taken Jimmy to Metropolis, you know, where big hospitals and trauma centers are, instead of halfway across the country to the West Coast.
The whole video, then the pre video episode, then the video again with possible Lex watching.
There are plenty more, and honestly, feel free to add your WTF moments in the comments.
I think any hope I had of Smallville improving at least some, has been broken with the Sullivan-Olsen wedding cake, and quite frankly, even though the last two scenes were at the very least kind of interesting (voyeur Lex and evil Chloe!!) I have no great plans to pick Smallville up when it comes back from hiatus.
*Turns back on show* You people all suck and massively fail.
This episode was bad. There aren't enough words for how bad.
What stunk (in no particular order of stinkiness):
Clark giving Chloe away. Where was Gabe? Where was General Lane? Where was any parent of any of the characters? Where was Lucy?
Chloe and Jimmy getting married in the Kents barn. (nice idea, wrong couple)
Lana coming back (and ass kicking, husky voiced and all spy like)
All the closure of ships and heart to heart chats between exes.
Chloe's something old being Clark's homecoming dance boutonierre and she's NOT MARRYING CLARK!
That Doomsday costume. Uh, Smallville, The Power Rangers called. They want their villain costume back. That is all.
In case anyone hasn't noticed, it's freaking November. It's cold in Kansas. Very, very cold. Not the time of year for weddings in unheated barns with sleeveless gowns. Unless you want to get frostbite and plan to share the ice sculptures with another couple stupid enough to get married outside. Just saying.
Clark immediately spilling everything to Lana.
Lana immediately spilling everything to Oliver.
Lois getting dissed when Lana arrives and not being kissed.
Chloe and Jimmy not getting to go on their honeymoon.
Chloe's purple lingerie...under a white gown.
Jimmy being Med-Evac'ed to STAR CITY? I realize Smallville requires it's viewers to suspend disbelief and logic when watching, but Star City is in Northern California. They could have taken Jimmy to Metropolis, you know, where big hospitals and trauma centers are, instead of halfway across the country to the West Coast.
The whole video, then the pre video episode, then the video again with possible Lex watching.
There are plenty more, and honestly, feel free to add your WTF moments in the comments.
I think any hope I had of Smallville improving at least some, has been broken with the Sullivan-Olsen wedding cake, and quite frankly, even though the last two scenes were at the very least kind of interesting (voyeur Lex and evil Chloe!!) I have no great plans to pick Smallville up when it comes back from hiatus.
*Turns back on show* You people all suck and massively fail.