Actually, there are probably a lot of people who can't handle the movie (including myself, apparently), so I really shouldn't have said everyone should see it. I just felt that way at the time.
I have not read the Stafford story. I'll see if I can find the book at the library. I always like to have something new to read. Thanks.
I was crying during the back-rub scene, too. The guy's need for love was so overwhelming and wrenching. And Neil's response to that need was so conflicted. I felt rather than saw your emotions during the film, your reliving of the past. Your response was physical, like a kid who gets suddenly very sick. I know it was hard, but I think going through that made you stronger. I'm glad Charlie was there!
I'm glad you shared it with me. Even though it was a difficult thing to share. Thank you. It's going to be a LONG time until I can put what was let out of me yesterday under lock and key again. I didn't know that it was still inside me and so big and real and dark and horrible. Let's go to movies again when you get back. LOTS and LOTS and LOTS of movies.
Oh and the other not so funny thing regarding the backrub scene is that I wasn't crying for the guy getting his back rubbed. I had ZERO identification with him. My identification was entirely with Neil and his complex fucked up feelings especially when he was looking at the Vermeer print at the girl's cracked reproduced face.
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Have you ever read the Jean Stafford short story "The Interior Castle"? Your reference to bodily dissociation reminded me of it.
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I have not read the Stafford story. I'll see if I can find the book at the library. I always like to have something new to read. Thanks.
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susan
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xoxoxo
in film solidarity and friendship
kdd
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