Yah, I know it's been forever...
I wonder if anyone continues to check this for updates now. I did get that one anonymous angry comment demanding an update, but it's been 2 1/2 weeks now since my last post, so hard to say. I suppose the thing to do would be to talk about school, but school is just that, same as it's always been. I have the two classes with the most reading in the IR department, so my solution is not to do any of the reading for either. I get to learn about George Lucas and watch Lucas and Scorcese and Coppola movies for class credit in my Star Wars class, and my Russian class is entirely unimpressive, except to say that it's entirely too hard to be a GE class, and is actually the only upper division GE I've ever heard of. Such is school. Also, I haven't gone to bed before 4 am in the last 4 days. Again, such is school, whether the reason I'm deprived of sleep be video games or work.
I'm not going to really apologize for not posting. Part of it was not having the internet here at school till the end of last week, part of it was being busy up the fucking wazoo, part of it was laziness, part of it was feeling like, after starting the break, I didn't have anything worthwhile to say.
Actually the thing that made me decide to post was something that put me in a bit of a mood. I was riding my bike down the street after class today, heading back toward my apartment, and I ran into Kelly Ellis from high school. Actually, I barely recognized her, simply because I would never expect to see her here (she goes to LMU), and actually, I haven't seen her in about a year. She did a Semester at Sea this past spring and I didn't see anyone from my own high school this summer. And that's the problem, even though it usually feels like it's not.
Kelly was here to see Colin, also from high school, who actually does go here now. That got me thinking...when was the last time I went to visit someone from high school? When's the last time one of them came to visit me? Aside from hanging out with Kevin now and then, when's the last time I even saw someone from my own high school among those who now go here? And it's not even just that. What about my roommates from last year? I've run into them in the lobby or the alley a couple times, but the only time I've set foot in that apartment since the one time I did it over the summer was when I ran into Merrick on move-in day. The others weren't even there, and the only reason I walked in was cause I was helping Merrick move his stuff. They hadn't cleaned since I left, I think. =P
I basically SUCK at being friends with people. I have almost no long-term relationships with people whatsoever...and it's not like some people feel like they don't have enough friends. I feel fine wth a select group of close friends and a broad array of acquaintances. But the roster for those is constantly changing because something about my character prevents it from ever stabilizing out. Even among groups of mutual friends, priorities shift constantly, and I stop and look around me and think "Where did all these people come from, and where did the other ones go off to?" I have no freakin' idea.
I've always considered myself a pretty decent person to be friends with on the whole. I get along with people, I much prefer listening to other people's stories than rambling on about my own (which works quite well with many people), and when the time calls for it, I can usually be counted on for a joke. Under these criteria, yes, I'm fine, but something else about me lends a total transience to all of those relationships, and it makes me feel pretty damn socially inept if for some reason I look around and see as many (or more) "former friends" than current ones.
Sucks that the thing that gets me to post after so long is such a damn bummer to me, but who knows, maybe the good that'll come out of it is that it'll inspire me to update more again. I had fun with that at the time, and the internet's up for good here now, so I lost that excuse entirely.
I'm not going to really apologize for not posting. Part of it was not having the internet here at school till the end of last week, part of it was being busy up the fucking wazoo, part of it was laziness, part of it was feeling like, after starting the break, I didn't have anything worthwhile to say.
Actually the thing that made me decide to post was something that put me in a bit of a mood. I was riding my bike down the street after class today, heading back toward my apartment, and I ran into Kelly Ellis from high school. Actually, I barely recognized her, simply because I would never expect to see her here (she goes to LMU), and actually, I haven't seen her in about a year. She did a Semester at Sea this past spring and I didn't see anyone from my own high school this summer. And that's the problem, even though it usually feels like it's not.
Kelly was here to see Colin, also from high school, who actually does go here now. That got me thinking...when was the last time I went to visit someone from high school? When's the last time one of them came to visit me? Aside from hanging out with Kevin now and then, when's the last time I even saw someone from my own high school among those who now go here? And it's not even just that. What about my roommates from last year? I've run into them in the lobby or the alley a couple times, but the only time I've set foot in that apartment since the one time I did it over the summer was when I ran into Merrick on move-in day. The others weren't even there, and the only reason I walked in was cause I was helping Merrick move his stuff. They hadn't cleaned since I left, I think. =P
I basically SUCK at being friends with people. I have almost no long-term relationships with people whatsoever...and it's not like some people feel like they don't have enough friends. I feel fine wth a select group of close friends and a broad array of acquaintances. But the roster for those is constantly changing because something about my character prevents it from ever stabilizing out. Even among groups of mutual friends, priorities shift constantly, and I stop and look around me and think "Where did all these people come from, and where did the other ones go off to?" I have no freakin' idea.
I've always considered myself a pretty decent person to be friends with on the whole. I get along with people, I much prefer listening to other people's stories than rambling on about my own (which works quite well with many people), and when the time calls for it, I can usually be counted on for a joke. Under these criteria, yes, I'm fine, but something else about me lends a total transience to all of those relationships, and it makes me feel pretty damn socially inept if for some reason I look around and see as many (or more) "former friends" than current ones.
Sucks that the thing that gets me to post after so long is such a damn bummer to me, but who knows, maybe the good that'll come out of it is that it'll inspire me to update more again. I had fun with that at the time, and the internet's up for good here now, so I lost that excuse entirely.