The Dream 18
Part A * pslm.25:03/37:19 **Luke;21:14
Marco couldn't sleep.
He lay in the dark staring at the ceiling; that place where the light from the parking-lot cut a long pale triangle that didn't quite line up with one corner of the room.
Head still buzzing a little from the half bottle of wine he'd managed to down one half-glass at a time.
'Just a little more...then I'll be sleepy enough to..." he'd kept thinking.
In the dark, sitting on the floor by the bed, the bottle had been half-empty by the time he held it up so he could look through the dark semi-sweet liquid.
There were stronger things in the kitchen, but that would make it seem worse than he thought it was.....yet.
Dylan had woke up all groggy and half in whatever dream he'd been having.
Marco had led him to bed and lay there holding him till he was fully asleep again.
Dylan had licked his lips as he snuggled more deeply into the pillow.
And that, just that one little thing, had started Marco seeing/thinking of another tongue...moving over a much fuller set of lips....
Marco's breath caught in his throat.
He stared at Dylan's mouth, eyes wide with shock;a guilt that froze his guts and made him flinch back from his sleeping boyfriend flaring inside him.
For just a second he'd actually seen...
Marco got the bottle they'd decided against opening with dinner. He took the first half-glass to the kitchen, drank it while he put the remains of the meal away.
Dylan was turning into a pretty decent cook; at least he listened and followed recipes well.
There was the time the page flipped because the book was new, and by the time Dylan realized it...
'Best not to think about that ...' Marco shivered at the memory.
By the time he got back to the bedroom, Dylan was snoring, something he rarely did, but it had never bothered Marco, before...
Marco sat down on the floor by the bed.
Dylan wasn't making that much noise, but down here it was even less, and besides he wouldn't see if he...
'Whats wrong with me!?!' he thought, 'Since when does the size of Dylan's lips
bother me?
Drink faster! That should do it!'Marco told himself. 'And think of something else.'
He poured another half-glass of wine, gulped it down and repeated this process a few times; trying to think of something else to think about, staring at the way the soft light fell through the smeared window.
Maybe he'd clean it....tomorrow.
Marco held the bottle up, looked through it, thinking nothing but how the light looked through the dark bottle and even darker wine....
'How did it get..!?!' he wondered, not realizing how much he'd drank till now.
Marco put the wine away; lay back down next to his now, really snoring boyfriend.
Funny, now it sounded almost...good...soothing...just another rhythmic sound.
Come to think of it, he usually likes it.
Marco remembers mentioning it to Alex one time.
She'd snorted and rolled her eyes. but finally smiled gently and a far away sort of look in her eyes as she said; "My ole man snored. I'd lay there and listen to it and feel all safe and..."
Then she collected herself, gave him a considering look, and nodded, punched his shoulder.
"Yeah, on some guys, snorin's cool." she said with a shrug.
But Alex wasn't much for heart-to-heart chats, and it was time to get back to S. G. business as far as she was concerned.
Alex....
Marco still felt a little ashamed of the way he'd treated her before....
Her anger had startled him at first, and he'd reacted without thinking.
Marco hated to see anyone belittled, or treated condescendingly, especially when it was him doing it!
That's how small frightened little bullies treat people.
Sure, he's been picked on by people like that, but it's ugly from both sides.
Marco knows he's better...and stronger than that.
It's o.k. to be scared, but what you do about it is what matters...choices.
That night, he'd tried to pray about it, but anger was mixing with the fear and he wound up yelling;"Your people will not be ashamed*...!?....How!?! What am I supposed to do if...when she gets up there and tells everybody I.. That I'm....!?!"
Marco had his fists pressed to head, angry tears burning his squeezed-shut eyes.
And there was ....that voice...in his head/in his heart....
So clear...though so...quiet..so easy to ignore.
No, He doesn't push.
And he got it.
Marco had never really thought about Alex before..what it was like to be inside her life.
The rest was easy.Like acting out a part in a play he'd done a million times.
'**...not to prepare before hand to defend yourselves...'; Marco thought.
Sometimes the hard/easiness of it all...this thing that is called 'Christianity' is a little..frightening.
Yeah, He is to be feared...to be able to see all this, from anyone's point of view...
And 'do' something to/with it!
Talk about 'Awesome'!
The knot in his belly eases a little.
Dylan stirs a little, found Marco and snuggled in closer to him.
Any other time, this would've been great, sweet and comforting, but tonight...
There are other arms on his mind; long brown ones.
'Why now...why tonight' Marco wonders.
Yeah, he has thought about the boy before....but he'd never ...Do anything about it.
Would he..?
Now he understood. why his mind had rerun that conversation with Alex when he found himself annoyed with Dylan's snoring.
This wasn't really 'Him' either.
All these thoughts....
About Jayeson.....
Part B
Marco remembered meeting the tall mostly soft-spoken boy at one of the parties in Dylan's old dorm....
Marco tended to find himself with a lot of friends who were....well true individuals.
People with their own particular style and very serious about it.
That he noticed and liked Jayeson the first time he met him wasn't surprising at all; the kid had Hot-Pink hair!
Ellie would have been shocked if Marco hadn't noticed and liked him, even before talking to him and finding out that they had similar problems.
It was the thick, full lips that Marco was for some reason thinking of now....
The way they curl in at the corners...
His voice...so much deeper even than Dylan's.
So much bass...
When the boy spoke, or laughed....Marco could feel it vibrating inside him.
Like his whole body was a tuning-fork or something.
He'd love to get him to sing sometime...maybe even with, but they'd be going their separate ways soon; his band.
Still...
What a voice.
And thinking about that first meeting....listening to that sound Marco drifted off to sleep...
Marco had no way of knowing about Dylan's latest dream.
But the thing...the demon...who'd been given the assignment; "Separate Them", had finally decided on a tactic that could at least confuse things for a while longer...
It couldn't 'make' Marco, or anyone else for that matter, do anything.
But it could make ....very strong suggestions!
Humans were so stupid about thoughts, it chuckled to itself thinking of this; they so often just acted on a thought as soon as it....occurred.
With this pair, it knew, it would need to be extremely subtle.
It had to 'look' like something could be going on to Dylan, while Marco unaware for as long as possible.
To Marco a few well placed very violent 'hits'....deep longings, mind-pictures, a hint of ....well it wasn't sure what exactly just yet.
But this, tonight was good.
The young Italian boy was tired, still a little off-balance with all the goings-on with his father, and his boyfriends dreams getting more ominous.
There would have to be things that Dylan 'saw' and yet weren't enough to question....
Things that could, possibly mean there was...something...maybe...going on.
What Dylan would have to see was Marco...seeing Jayeson, while thinking that he(Marco) was unobserved...
Oh, say walking by...bouncing a ball...
Those long, strong muscles flexing, the brown skin glistening a little with sweat..
A long look while the ball kept bouncing perfectly with his pumping arm..a barely heard deep vibrating 'hello'.
Marco's self-conscious over-thinking could look like...to an already suspicious mind....
Another time, they should perhaps exchange a few words..which Marco wouldn't feel the need to comment on to Dylan.
Yes, the possibilities were nearly endless!
It clapped the misshapen claw-like appendages at then end of it's arms together in gleeful anticipation.
It knew that Marco always second-guessed himself;didn't really recognize this as 'guilt' yet.
That would be the end of that avenue of opportunity.
It hated 'born-again-Christians'!
They alone knew that 'Their Father' didn't use guilt against them, no, He was too 'Loving"!
It grew nauseous just thinking about it.
His master believed, and rightly so, that fear and punishment were the way!
No, this wouldn't work on Marco for long.
He'd figure it out and go running to his 'Father which art....
But Dylan was still undeclared...
How it hated the seriously born-again, or any other thing they chose to call themselves..
Every other so called 'religion' served a dead leader, or, when it came right down to it psychology, or even better; some thinly disguised simple hatred of all who weren't 'Them'.
Their master had made quite a purchase from that idiot gardener and his wife....
The last one most of them (the humans) would ever dream had been the only one willing to pay the necessary price.
And he'd been over two thousand years trying to convince them that it was done!
That was the best part!
Most of them would rather believe they 'deserve' to be punished, had to try to keep all those 'commandments'...it was hilarious!
So you want it hard, it's master was always too happy to oblige.
By the time most of them figured it out they were someplace they couldn't make much difference from.
But this pair..
They could bring....well who knew how many to a 'church'...it's ugly features grew even uglier as it grimaced.
A church that was beginning to teach the truth about 'Grace'!
Yes, it would tread very carefully with Mr. Del Rossi...or it would get Jesus'ed nearly off this plain of existence.
Dylan, however was undeclared...and therefore not ransomed!
It loved, well truly enjoyed playing with the undeclared.
They could be almost too amusing.
Though not quite as much fun as the ones who thought they could keep the commandments by themselves....
Next morning...............
Marco woke early, the taste in his mouth made his toothbrush the first thing on his mind!
Splashing water on his face, trying to finish breaking the spell of the night before; wondering why he was thinking of the first time he'd met Jayeson....
Listening to the sound of the words, Marco had completely missed what had actually been said....
"Um..sorry, what did you..?" Marco stuttered, blushing and blinking up at the tall boy.
He didn't smile, but Marco got the impression that the boy knew exactly why Marco had to ask him to repeat the question....and that he didn't mind.
Marco couldn't sleep.
He lay in the dark staring at the ceiling; that place where the light from the parking-lot cut a long pale triangle that didn't quite line up with one corner of the room.
Head still buzzing a little from the half bottle of wine he'd managed to down one half-glass at a time.
'Just a little more...then I'll be sleepy enough to..." he'd kept thinking.
In the dark, sitting on the floor by the bed, the bottle had been half-empty by the time he held it up so he could look through the dark semi-sweet liquid.
There were stronger things in the kitchen, but that would make it seem worse than he thought it was.....yet.
Dylan had woke up all groggy and half in whatever dream he'd been having.
Marco had led him to bed and lay there holding him till he was fully asleep again.
Dylan had licked his lips as he snuggled more deeply into the pillow.
And that, just that one little thing, had started Marco seeing/thinking of another tongue...moving over a much fuller set of lips....
Marco's breath caught in his throat.
He stared at Dylan's mouth, eyes wide with shock;a guilt that froze his guts and made him flinch back from his sleeping boyfriend flaring inside him.
For just a second he'd actually seen...
Marco got the bottle they'd decided against opening with dinner. He took the first half-glass to the kitchen, drank it while he put the remains of the meal away.
Dylan was turning into a pretty decent cook; at least he listened and followed recipes well.
There was the time the page flipped because the book was new, and by the time Dylan realized it...
'Best not to think about that ...' Marco shivered at the memory.
By the time he got back to the bedroom, Dylan was snoring, something he rarely did, but it had never bothered Marco, before...
Marco sat down on the floor by the bed.
Dylan wasn't making that much noise, but down here it was even less, and besides he wouldn't see if he...
'Whats wrong with me!?!' he thought, 'Since when does the size of Dylan's lips
bother me?
Drink faster! That should do it!'Marco told himself. 'And think of something else.'
He poured another half-glass of wine, gulped it down and repeated this process a few times; trying to think of something else to think about, staring at the way the soft light fell through the smeared window.
Maybe he'd clean it....tomorrow.
Marco held the bottle up, looked through it, thinking nothing but how the light looked through the dark bottle and even darker wine....
'How did it get..!?!' he wondered, not realizing how much he'd drank till now.
Marco put the wine away; lay back down next to his now, really snoring boyfriend.
Funny, now it sounded almost...good...soothing...just another rhythmic sound.
Come to think of it, he usually likes it.
Marco remembers mentioning it to Alex one time.
She'd snorted and rolled her eyes. but finally smiled gently and a far away sort of look in her eyes as she said; "My ole man snored. I'd lay there and listen to it and feel all safe and..."
Then she collected herself, gave him a considering look, and nodded, punched his shoulder.
"Yeah, on some guys, snorin's cool." she said with a shrug.
But Alex wasn't much for heart-to-heart chats, and it was time to get back to S. G. business as far as she was concerned.
Alex....
Marco still felt a little ashamed of the way he'd treated her before....
Her anger had startled him at first, and he'd reacted without thinking.
Marco hated to see anyone belittled, or treated condescendingly, especially when it was him doing it!
That's how small frightened little bullies treat people.
Sure, he's been picked on by people like that, but it's ugly from both sides.
Marco knows he's better...and stronger than that.
It's o.k. to be scared, but what you do about it is what matters...choices.
That night, he'd tried to pray about it, but anger was mixing with the fear and he wound up yelling;"Your people will not be ashamed*...!?....How!?! What am I supposed to do if...when she gets up there and tells everybody I.. That I'm....!?!"
Marco had his fists pressed to head, angry tears burning his squeezed-shut eyes.
And there was ....that voice...in his head/in his heart....
So clear...though so...quiet..so easy to ignore.
No, He doesn't push.
And he got it.
Marco had never really thought about Alex before..what it was like to be inside her life.
The rest was easy.Like acting out a part in a play he'd done a million times.
'**...not to prepare before hand to defend yourselves...'; Marco thought.
Sometimes the hard/easiness of it all...this thing that is called 'Christianity' is a little..frightening.
Yeah, He is to be feared...to be able to see all this, from anyone's point of view...
And 'do' something to/with it!
Talk about 'Awesome'!
The knot in his belly eases a little.
Dylan stirs a little, found Marco and snuggled in closer to him.
Any other time, this would've been great, sweet and comforting, but tonight...
There are other arms on his mind; long brown ones.
'Why now...why tonight' Marco wonders.
Yeah, he has thought about the boy before....but he'd never ...Do anything about it.
Would he..?
Now he understood. why his mind had rerun that conversation with Alex when he found himself annoyed with Dylan's snoring.
This wasn't really 'Him' either.
All these thoughts....
About Jayeson.....
Part B
Marco remembered meeting the tall mostly soft-spoken boy at one of the parties in Dylan's old dorm....
Marco tended to find himself with a lot of friends who were....well true individuals.
People with their own particular style and very serious about it.
That he noticed and liked Jayeson the first time he met him wasn't surprising at all; the kid had Hot-Pink hair!
Ellie would have been shocked if Marco hadn't noticed and liked him, even before talking to him and finding out that they had similar problems.
It was the thick, full lips that Marco was for some reason thinking of now....
The way they curl in at the corners...
His voice...so much deeper even than Dylan's.
So much bass...
When the boy spoke, or laughed....Marco could feel it vibrating inside him.
Like his whole body was a tuning-fork or something.
He'd love to get him to sing sometime...maybe even with, but they'd be going their separate ways soon; his band.
Still...
What a voice.
And thinking about that first meeting....listening to that sound Marco drifted off to sleep...
Marco had no way of knowing about Dylan's latest dream.
But the thing...the demon...who'd been given the assignment; "Separate Them", had finally decided on a tactic that could at least confuse things for a while longer...
It couldn't 'make' Marco, or anyone else for that matter, do anything.
But it could make ....very strong suggestions!
Humans were so stupid about thoughts, it chuckled to itself thinking of this; they so often just acted on a thought as soon as it....occurred.
With this pair, it knew, it would need to be extremely subtle.
It had to 'look' like something could be going on to Dylan, while Marco unaware for as long as possible.
To Marco a few well placed very violent 'hits'....deep longings, mind-pictures, a hint of ....well it wasn't sure what exactly just yet.
But this, tonight was good.
The young Italian boy was tired, still a little off-balance with all the goings-on with his father, and his boyfriends dreams getting more ominous.
There would have to be things that Dylan 'saw' and yet weren't enough to question....
Things that could, possibly mean there was...something...maybe...going on.
What Dylan would have to see was Marco...seeing Jayeson, while thinking that he(Marco) was unobserved...
Oh, say walking by...bouncing a ball...
Those long, strong muscles flexing, the brown skin glistening a little with sweat..
A long look while the ball kept bouncing perfectly with his pumping arm..a barely heard deep vibrating 'hello'.
Marco's self-conscious over-thinking could look like...to an already suspicious mind....
Another time, they should perhaps exchange a few words..which Marco wouldn't feel the need to comment on to Dylan.
Yes, the possibilities were nearly endless!
It clapped the misshapen claw-like appendages at then end of it's arms together in gleeful anticipation.
It knew that Marco always second-guessed himself;didn't really recognize this as 'guilt' yet.
That would be the end of that avenue of opportunity.
It hated 'born-again-Christians'!
They alone knew that 'Their Father' didn't use guilt against them, no, He was too 'Loving"!
It grew nauseous just thinking about it.
His master believed, and rightly so, that fear and punishment were the way!
No, this wouldn't work on Marco for long.
He'd figure it out and go running to his 'Father which art....
But Dylan was still undeclared...
How it hated the seriously born-again, or any other thing they chose to call themselves..
Every other so called 'religion' served a dead leader, or, when it came right down to it psychology, or even better; some thinly disguised simple hatred of all who weren't 'Them'.
Their master had made quite a purchase from that idiot gardener and his wife....
The last one most of them (the humans) would ever dream had been the only one willing to pay the necessary price.
And he'd been over two thousand years trying to convince them that it was done!
That was the best part!
Most of them would rather believe they 'deserve' to be punished, had to try to keep all those 'commandments'...it was hilarious!
So you want it hard, it's master was always too happy to oblige.
By the time most of them figured it out they were someplace they couldn't make much difference from.
But this pair..
They could bring....well who knew how many to a 'church'...it's ugly features grew even uglier as it grimaced.
A church that was beginning to teach the truth about 'Grace'!
Yes, it would tread very carefully with Mr. Del Rossi...or it would get Jesus'ed nearly off this plain of existence.
Dylan, however was undeclared...and therefore not ransomed!
It loved, well truly enjoyed playing with the undeclared.
They could be almost too amusing.
Though not quite as much fun as the ones who thought they could keep the commandments by themselves....
Next morning...............
Marco woke early, the taste in his mouth made his toothbrush the first thing on his mind!
Splashing water on his face, trying to finish breaking the spell of the night before; wondering why he was thinking of the first time he'd met Jayeson....
Listening to the sound of the words, Marco had completely missed what had actually been said....
"Um..sorry, what did you..?" Marco stuttered, blushing and blinking up at the tall boy.
He didn't smile, but Marco got the impression that the boy knew exactly why Marco had to ask him to repeat the question....and that he didn't mind.