still up.
i hate regret. and not knowing what could have been. i'm over him but i'm not over the fact that both of us will never know what we could be like and i'll probably live with this feeling the rest of my life. thinking what life would be like if we had stayed together. and it's not like a normal "breakup and regret it" thing. this was big and i fucked up. it was my fault and now i wish i could take everything back and see how we could have been. i kind of want to know how we'd end up- but i don't want to bring up anymore drama with you. or feelings. cause whenever i think about our situation, those feelings come flooding back like they've been here all along. and maybe they have- in the back of my mind.
i have never been totally, completely, head-over-heels in love. but i can honestly say that i've been close to it and felt a lot of the feelings associated with love for/with 3 people. three different people, three different times, three different relationships. they are the three people i have honestly been semi- in love with. not infatuation. puppy love? maybe. but it wasn't fake. they were true feelings that anyone in the world could look at and say "wow. there's something there."
i have never been totally, completely, head-over-heels in love. but i can honestly say that i've been close to it and felt a lot of the feelings associated with love for/with 3 people. three different people, three different times, three different relationships. they are the three people i have honestly been semi- in love with. not infatuation. puppy love? maybe. but it wasn't fake. they were true feelings that anyone in the world could look at and say "wow. there's something there."