I have a LiveJournal. I have lost it too.
I seemed to have gotten one of these things. I am not sure why just yet. I believe that it had to do something with one of my friends pressuring me to get one. Why in hell does he need to know what goes on in my mind, anyway? ... That is not important though. What is important is driving me out of my mind. Yeah, you guessed it. Lil. I do not know why but lately I have been going insane over her. I can't stop thinking about her. I can't even sleep most nights because of some nagging need to be with her. I am with her, but not technically. She is my girlfriend again (thank God) but she is two thousand miles away from me. I can't stand that. I wish she could just drop out of college to come here with me. It is not like I could not financially support her, because I could. And would. But that just will not work. I understand her need to fulfill her dreams. I support that too. Maybe she'll seriously look into transferring to the AI in Seattle. Or I will try to find a job in Chicago. Fuck, I never in my life thought I would change my ways like this just for some girl. I do not know what it is about her. Maybe I love her. I do not know. I have never felt this feeling before when I think about her or talk to her and I have never been in love before so I would not know what to expect. I do not want to scare her off with that thought of love, though. I do not know if she is the kind of girl who is afraid of it. I do not know how she really feels about me, either. We do not really talk about that sort of thing. Yet. Maybe later. Or perhaps I can bring a third party into this and ask Arik to ask her what she feels about me. Just nonchalantly. I would love to know before I get ahead of myself here. I hope she does not read this. She may think that I have lost my mind for good. Which, maybe, I have.