WCG, gettin' hitched, and a whole lotta black!
good lord, who thought so much could happen in just one evening? ok, ok.. i knew a lot could happen.. but wow. it was glorious.
our evening started with my ass getting stalked by a girl named jess. apparently she thought she was going to be joining us on our baventure. she was wrong. i'm sorry, but i'm not going to hang with some little wench that fucking stole my friends credit cards. nope.. not gonna do it. especially stealing from angela. that girl may be an airhead sometimes, but that is no reason to steal from her. that's just plain mean. that girl has nothing but good intentions. blah.. anyways, i avoided her calls all evening. which ended up with her leaving my husband (you heard me) some funny messages. apparently she cried herself to sleep because we ditched her. haha! dude, that's fucking hot. we're like fucking rock stars. bitches cry when they can't hang with us.. like our egos need to be bigger, right?
so.. we get to city club. wow, completely not me. i'm so.. vanilla.. and they're so... not. honestly, i felt like i was hanging out in a haunted house minus the kids jumping out at me from around the corner. instead they just stood around. we made some friends. becky and amanda. they didn't fit in either. one was a school teacher for christ sakes. i'm not sure how they got in there.. i think they just kinda wandered in not knowing what was up. but that doesn't seem right either.. i mean, it's the shadiest fucking entrance i've ever seen. how you could accidently walk in is a mystery. anyways, becky turned out to be a skank. both of them were ordained ministers. so.. steve asked me to marry him. why the fuck not? so, in our little cozy, corner of hell we got married. sorta. no papers.. not legal. but still hilarious. seeing as we didn't have rings we got married with a beer. ha! "with this sip of beer.. i take you, steve, to be my unlawfully wedded husband." i almost cried. it was beautiful.
after a while the whole reason for us being there showed up. what a nice boy. needless to say my husband cheated on me on our wedding night. hot. the boy had interesting friends. my favorite being.. fran.. WCG. ok, this is where i'm going to seem like a complete and total asshole. but she was in a wheel chair. a bloody wheel chair! and... she.. was... dancing. yes. she was busting a move in her wheel chair. it was awesome. i was sitting on the bench drinking my beer and i caught it out of the corner of my eye. at first i thought i was just drunk.. maybe she was just moving around. nope. she was workin' it. workin' it hard. there was a line to dance with this girl, too. like.. i had to kinda muscle in to get my turn. that's right, i danced with her. there was no way in hell i was going to witness this and not be a part of it. she was a complete pimp too. like.. people swarmed her. there was a boy, named lawrence. apparently i had to let him dry hump me to qualify for the dance. which, fine.. i let him.. i needed to dance with WCG! then there was a girl named tiffany who pretty much gave WCG lap dances all night.. so, i had to make nice with her to get to fran. by the way.. this tiffany girl.. totally reminded me of a mummy. it was really weird, i don't know how to describe it. but the only wordthat comes to mind is mummy. anyways, it was really quite the ordeal to just fucking dance with this girl. but finally.. it was my turn. and i fucking danced like i had never danced before. that's right.. i slouched so that i was lower to the ground. yeah.. you try bending that low and dancing for a prolonged time. it's hard. she had the biggest ego in the world. apparently she gets a lot of ass. which, honestly she is kinda hot. all goth and scary and shit.
by the end of all this i was getting tired. so, here i am in this scary ass place.. rocking out to some industrial, sitting on this bench.. in the dark.. and i'm feeling all cozy and ready for bed. so, i took a little nap. haha. i don't think anyone noticed. but by this time we were ready to start heading out anyways. it was around 3 a.m. and i had to be up. so, we said our good byes and went home.
our evening started with my ass getting stalked by a girl named jess. apparently she thought she was going to be joining us on our baventure. she was wrong. i'm sorry, but i'm not going to hang with some little wench that fucking stole my friends credit cards. nope.. not gonna do it. especially stealing from angela. that girl may be an airhead sometimes, but that is no reason to steal from her. that's just plain mean. that girl has nothing but good intentions. blah.. anyways, i avoided her calls all evening. which ended up with her leaving my husband (you heard me) some funny messages. apparently she cried herself to sleep because we ditched her. haha! dude, that's fucking hot. we're like fucking rock stars. bitches cry when they can't hang with us.. like our egos need to be bigger, right?
so.. we get to city club. wow, completely not me. i'm so.. vanilla.. and they're so... not. honestly, i felt like i was hanging out in a haunted house minus the kids jumping out at me from around the corner. instead they just stood around. we made some friends. becky and amanda. they didn't fit in either. one was a school teacher for christ sakes. i'm not sure how they got in there.. i think they just kinda wandered in not knowing what was up. but that doesn't seem right either.. i mean, it's the shadiest fucking entrance i've ever seen. how you could accidently walk in is a mystery. anyways, becky turned out to be a skank. both of them were ordained ministers. so.. steve asked me to marry him. why the fuck not? so, in our little cozy, corner of hell we got married. sorta. no papers.. not legal. but still hilarious. seeing as we didn't have rings we got married with a beer. ha! "with this sip of beer.. i take you, steve, to be my unlawfully wedded husband." i almost cried. it was beautiful.
after a while the whole reason for us being there showed up. what a nice boy. needless to say my husband cheated on me on our wedding night. hot. the boy had interesting friends. my favorite being.. fran.. WCG. ok, this is where i'm going to seem like a complete and total asshole. but she was in a wheel chair. a bloody wheel chair! and... she.. was... dancing. yes. she was busting a move in her wheel chair. it was awesome. i was sitting on the bench drinking my beer and i caught it out of the corner of my eye. at first i thought i was just drunk.. maybe she was just moving around. nope. she was workin' it. workin' it hard. there was a line to dance with this girl, too. like.. i had to kinda muscle in to get my turn. that's right, i danced with her. there was no way in hell i was going to witness this and not be a part of it. she was a complete pimp too. like.. people swarmed her. there was a boy, named lawrence. apparently i had to let him dry hump me to qualify for the dance. which, fine.. i let him.. i needed to dance with WCG! then there was a girl named tiffany who pretty much gave WCG lap dances all night.. so, i had to make nice with her to get to fran. by the way.. this tiffany girl.. totally reminded me of a mummy. it was really weird, i don't know how to describe it. but the only wordthat comes to mind is mummy. anyways, it was really quite the ordeal to just fucking dance with this girl. but finally.. it was my turn. and i fucking danced like i had never danced before. that's right.. i slouched so that i was lower to the ground. yeah.. you try bending that low and dancing for a prolonged time. it's hard. she had the biggest ego in the world. apparently she gets a lot of ass. which, honestly she is kinda hot. all goth and scary and shit.
by the end of all this i was getting tired. so, here i am in this scary ass place.. rocking out to some industrial, sitting on this bench.. in the dark.. and i'm feeling all cozy and ready for bed. so, i took a little nap. haha. i don't think anyone noticed. but by this time we were ready to start heading out anyways. it was around 3 a.m. and i had to be up. so, we said our good byes and went home.