baby jesus in a pumpkin patch!
yesterday was my big day. my first day at the hospital. whoa. orientation. lots of paper work. i got my badge. i look like my mother in the picture. i'm not shitting you. i was looking at it trying to think of who it reminded me off. and then it dawned on me when i noticed the fake smile. it's the same fake smile my mother gives in all of her pictures. fred made fun of me. it's all good. i got to talk to my patient. i don't know if she's going to consistently be my patient until she's discharged.. but she was a hoot. crazy old bag. of course i get the most geriatric mother fucker. i could never work with old folks. i have patience.. but even i have my limits. i draw the line at old bastards. she had no idea what was going on. beautiful. trying to give this woman a friggin' interview while she's all crazy and shit. needless to say i didn't get enough info for the forms i have to fill out on her. good thing i can bullshit like a pro. other than that we mostly just took a tour of our floor and figured out where supplies were and shit.
after that i went to the school to practice in the lab with my partner. that was fun times. just kidding. but we had an evaluation today so we needed it.
i called steve.. susie said he was sleeping. but she told me to come over anyways and eat her soup. she was very persistent about it so i did. i really think it was the apple crisp promise that reeled me in, though. squish was calling me "mommy rachel." horrible. i am not raising a child with susie. the harder i tried to break her of the habit the more she kept on. so, i just went with it. the soup was good. she's actually a really good cook. ashleigh is too.. so, i guess i shouldn't be too surprised her mother is a good cook. apple crisp.. sweet as all hell. it was like eating carmel topping with like two apples in it and some weird shit in it. it didn't taste bad or anything.. it was just.. well.. rich. that's it. it was rich.. like it should have been on ice cream. she said she was going to modify her recipe and have me back over. i look forward to seeing what she comes up with next.
after eating she said i should just go try and wake steve up. so i snuck down the stairs.. and pounced on his ass. haha.. good morning, sunshine. a big, bouncing, ball of happy he was. so i bit him. seemed fitting. he had to decided whether he wanted to get up or not, so i went back up stairs. he opted for awake and came to play with me. sat at the table for a while and talked a bit. he told me about a dream he had about me. i laughed pretty hard. it was just so us. me with a hoe.. him with a magic carpet. classic. he forgot we weren't the same age.. so he has decided to stop aging until i catch up. that way we can both turn 30 at the same time and rock out with our cocks out as bitchin' 30 year olds. really, though.. by the time i'm 30.. i'm going to be so lame. i'm already declining on the fun scale.
finally we decided it was denny's time. so, off we went. we of course drank pots of coffee as usual. talked some shit about.. well.. everything in the world. actually, we got into each other's pasts a bit. what we were like before we ever met.. a little bit when we barely knew each other. blah blah blah.. good times. there was a group of lesbians in the corner. they could have been our friends.. but we don't need anyone else. i was hanging all over him at the cash register being retarded.. that one lady.. you know.. that one that's always there was all, "he's a looker, eh?" and i was all, "he's a friggin' babe! look at him!" she totally thought we were going home to do it. well.. probably not.. but i'll just think that because it's funny that way.
on our way out he tells me about the group of red necks that were in there making fun of him for his homo status. well, that about set me right the fuck off. no one messes with my man and gets away with it. i don't care if he is flaming.. he's mine.. and i will fuck a toothless bitch up. if they're in there again doing shit when we're there.. i'm going ape shit.
after that we went back to his house for a minute or two.. then i was off. we both had to be in pretty early.
oh.. speaking of the devil.. he's calling so i must be off. later!
after that i went to the school to practice in the lab with my partner. that was fun times. just kidding. but we had an evaluation today so we needed it.
i called steve.. susie said he was sleeping. but she told me to come over anyways and eat her soup. she was very persistent about it so i did. i really think it was the apple crisp promise that reeled me in, though. squish was calling me "mommy rachel." horrible. i am not raising a child with susie. the harder i tried to break her of the habit the more she kept on. so, i just went with it. the soup was good. she's actually a really good cook. ashleigh is too.. so, i guess i shouldn't be too surprised her mother is a good cook. apple crisp.. sweet as all hell. it was like eating carmel topping with like two apples in it and some weird shit in it. it didn't taste bad or anything.. it was just.. well.. rich. that's it. it was rich.. like it should have been on ice cream. she said she was going to modify her recipe and have me back over. i look forward to seeing what she comes up with next.
after eating she said i should just go try and wake steve up. so i snuck down the stairs.. and pounced on his ass. haha.. good morning, sunshine. a big, bouncing, ball of happy he was. so i bit him. seemed fitting. he had to decided whether he wanted to get up or not, so i went back up stairs. he opted for awake and came to play with me. sat at the table for a while and talked a bit. he told me about a dream he had about me. i laughed pretty hard. it was just so us. me with a hoe.. him with a magic carpet. classic. he forgot we weren't the same age.. so he has decided to stop aging until i catch up. that way we can both turn 30 at the same time and rock out with our cocks out as bitchin' 30 year olds. really, though.. by the time i'm 30.. i'm going to be so lame. i'm already declining on the fun scale.
finally we decided it was denny's time. so, off we went. we of course drank pots of coffee as usual. talked some shit about.. well.. everything in the world. actually, we got into each other's pasts a bit. what we were like before we ever met.. a little bit when we barely knew each other. blah blah blah.. good times. there was a group of lesbians in the corner. they could have been our friends.. but we don't need anyone else. i was hanging all over him at the cash register being retarded.. that one lady.. you know.. that one that's always there was all, "he's a looker, eh?" and i was all, "he's a friggin' babe! look at him!" she totally thought we were going home to do it. well.. probably not.. but i'll just think that because it's funny that way.
on our way out he tells me about the group of red necks that were in there making fun of him for his homo status. well, that about set me right the fuck off. no one messes with my man and gets away with it. i don't care if he is flaming.. he's mine.. and i will fuck a toothless bitch up. if they're in there again doing shit when we're there.. i'm going ape shit.
after that we went back to his house for a minute or two.. then i was off. we both had to be in pretty early.
oh.. speaking of the devil.. he's calling so i must be off. later!