So Tired....

Feb 09, 2007 02:43

When I first came to college, my brother warned me about a phenomenon called "The Freshamn Crazies." He described it as 'everything losing perspective.' There was a half truth to this statement. This phenomenon happens not only your freshman year, but continuously throughout your life. It comes at a time where you discover you are (or you're becoming) something outside of what you thought you were.
This happens during your freshman year because you are subjected to influences and possibilities that change who you are. It does not stop there. You are not a constant, you are not static. This will happen to you throughout your life.
But what are you to do when you discover you are something that you never expected to be, someone you never knew or never wanted to know?
You get tired of changing. You want a code of morals and a procedure for every situation. It makes it easier. You have a planned response for any stimuli, for every challenge. This will never happen. You will change. I am changing.
I'm not liking who I am; what I've become. I can't change my life like a light switch. I can't turn over a new leaf. I will always be stuck in this...this... inconsistency.
And so will you. And so will all of us.

Beware.
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