on my way back to me
My doctor, whom I love!, just put me on a couple of new meds. I'm ridiculously hopeful that they'll help me get back to the me I used to be. Better living through chemistry, and all that. But they're supposed to take a while to take effect, so I thought I might journal the journey on here.
Details, which may be TMI for lots of people, below the fold.
The first of the meds is Tri-Sprintec, which I've been on before. Went off about a year ago, after Seeger and I broke up. Mostly because I'd always hated that the pills messed with my natural cycle, so I wanted to see if I could get that back. The answer to that question is a resounding NO. Sadly. On top of which, I suddenly started in with (what I consider to be) some serious acne issues. Undoubtedly compounded with the insane levels of grad school stress that I inflict upon myself, as well as the ickily wet weather here. Turns out that this Colorado-girl not only loves the sunshine of home but also the wickedly dry climate. So Oregon has been pretty sucky for me and my face. Maybe this will help. A little. Remind me not to move to England or the deep south after I graduate.
Oregon has also been pretty sucky for my mood. The rains reeeaaally get to me. I knew that would happen -- I've always been a bit of a sun-worshiper -- but I'd only planned to move here for a year to get my master's degree, then move on back home to Colorado. But then I got "talked into" staying here for the PhD. (Which is possibly the worst decision I've ever made... remains to be seen if I actually get out of the program alive.) And I found the whole situation -- the rain, the PhD work, the lack of a social life, engineer (a.k.a. non-touchy-feely) friends -- pretty depressing. So I started taking St John's Wort. Then I bought a SAD lamp. And I started skiing -- because the rain is a little bit better if I know it means I'll be on powder on the weekend. This summer I took up trail running, because apparently there's some bacteria in dirt that chases away depression (I'd link the article if I could find it). I swear it's totally true.
But even all of that was only enough to take the edge off. I haven't been me since about a year after I moved here -- so that'd be 2003. I think none of my friends here really understand, though I've talked about it at length with a few of them, especially Seeger -- because they only know Oregon-me, they've never met the happier bouncier cheerier lovey-er nicer Colorado-me. And I miss that me.
This spring I made a small attempt to talk to a doctor about all this -- but not my normal doctor, who was on sabbatical. It was some b*tch of a doctor who was so dismissive uninterested rude that I ran all summer on a broken foot rather than deal with her again. Phew. /rant. But yesterday, yesterday! oh happy day!, my fabulous wonderful caring doctor prescribed me some Prozac. (The subject came up when she was debating Tri-Sprintec versus Accutane, and I refused to go on Accutane because of Dawn's experiences on it -- I am depressed enough as it is, I told the dr, I certainly don't need Accutane adding on to it.) Oh I am soooo excited about it! It's supposed to take 4 weeks to start working though, and patience is not one of my best virtues. Sigh. So, we'll see how it goes.
Details, which may be TMI for lots of people, below the fold.
The first of the meds is Tri-Sprintec, which I've been on before. Went off about a year ago, after Seeger and I broke up. Mostly because I'd always hated that the pills messed with my natural cycle, so I wanted to see if I could get that back. The answer to that question is a resounding NO. Sadly. On top of which, I suddenly started in with (what I consider to be) some serious acne issues. Undoubtedly compounded with the insane levels of grad school stress that I inflict upon myself, as well as the ickily wet weather here. Turns out that this Colorado-girl not only loves the sunshine of home but also the wickedly dry climate. So Oregon has been pretty sucky for me and my face. Maybe this will help. A little. Remind me not to move to England or the deep south after I graduate.
Oregon has also been pretty sucky for my mood. The rains reeeaaally get to me. I knew that would happen -- I've always been a bit of a sun-worshiper -- but I'd only planned to move here for a year to get my master's degree, then move on back home to Colorado. But then I got "talked into" staying here for the PhD. (Which is possibly the worst decision I've ever made... remains to be seen if I actually get out of the program alive.) And I found the whole situation -- the rain, the PhD work, the lack of a social life, engineer (a.k.a. non-touchy-feely) friends -- pretty depressing. So I started taking St John's Wort. Then I bought a SAD lamp. And I started skiing -- because the rain is a little bit better if I know it means I'll be on powder on the weekend. This summer I took up trail running, because apparently there's some bacteria in dirt that chases away depression (I'd link the article if I could find it). I swear it's totally true.
But even all of that was only enough to take the edge off. I haven't been me since about a year after I moved here -- so that'd be 2003. I think none of my friends here really understand, though I've talked about it at length with a few of them, especially Seeger -- because they only know Oregon-me, they've never met the happier bouncier cheerier lovey-er nicer Colorado-me. And I miss that me.
This spring I made a small attempt to talk to a doctor about all this -- but not my normal doctor, who was on sabbatical. It was some b*tch of a doctor who was so dismissive uninterested rude that I ran all summer on a broken foot rather than deal with her again. Phew. /rant. But yesterday, yesterday! oh happy day!, my fabulous wonderful caring doctor prescribed me some Prozac. (The subject came up when she was debating Tri-Sprintec versus Accutane, and I refused to go on Accutane because of Dawn's experiences on it -- I am depressed enough as it is, I told the dr, I certainly don't need Accutane adding on to it.) Oh I am soooo excited about it! It's supposed to take 4 weeks to start working though, and patience is not one of my best virtues. Sigh. So, we'll see how it goes.