In need of ranting
Yes, it has been a long time since I've posted here. I tried making entries for my Scion character, but it didn't last. Neither did I in that game. But that is left best to be under a cut.
So yeah, I am currently in ZERO games. Falkenstein has been put on hold due to one player finishing his thesis and our GM working on getting a house. The Scion game ended up being a big bust. I'm not sure if it was the character, the other players or me. Whatever it was, it has shown me that I truly have very, very few friends.
I thought the people I gamed with were my friends, but obviously not. I sent an email to them explaining why I'd dropped the game, and I've not heard anything from any of them. I suppose they could be just respecting my privacy or whatthefuckever. In my email, I explained that I just never felt a part of the group in the game. I felt like an outsider every time I walked into the apartment. They all game with each other in other games or play online games together. I don't have time for other games and I don't like MMORPG. I had nothing to talk to them about. They would always discuss the other games for an hour before the game started. I kept coming later and later to try and avoid the conversations. That didn't work either.
It's pretty pathetic that I feel so much closer to people with whom I speak on the internet than I do to people in my RL. But then again, I've never really had a lot of friends, just a few close people until they fade away or lose interest or backstab me for for some unknown reason. I suppose this is what has happened again. Or I never was their friend. I guess that's possible, too. I was just some old lady who gamed with them once every two weeks. Who the fuck cares about her? Quite obviously no one.
But whatever. I'm writing again. I have an account over on AO3. I write bandom fic now. I still can't write original fiction. I've put up some of my old Harry Potter fics. Some have done really well. Some not so well. Whatever. I put them up for myself mostly. Just because I can. I have a writing partner who is my best friend. She lives in England, but she's a better friend than most people I know or have known. We probably will never meet in person, but sometimes that's for the best.
Thanks for listening.
So yeah, I am currently in ZERO games. Falkenstein has been put on hold due to one player finishing his thesis and our GM working on getting a house. The Scion game ended up being a big bust. I'm not sure if it was the character, the other players or me. Whatever it was, it has shown me that I truly have very, very few friends.
I thought the people I gamed with were my friends, but obviously not. I sent an email to them explaining why I'd dropped the game, and I've not heard anything from any of them. I suppose they could be just respecting my privacy or whatthefuckever. In my email, I explained that I just never felt a part of the group in the game. I felt like an outsider every time I walked into the apartment. They all game with each other in other games or play online games together. I don't have time for other games and I don't like MMORPG. I had nothing to talk to them about. They would always discuss the other games for an hour before the game started. I kept coming later and later to try and avoid the conversations. That didn't work either.
It's pretty pathetic that I feel so much closer to people with whom I speak on the internet than I do to people in my RL. But then again, I've never really had a lot of friends, just a few close people until they fade away or lose interest or backstab me for for some unknown reason. I suppose this is what has happened again. Or I never was their friend. I guess that's possible, too. I was just some old lady who gamed with them once every two weeks. Who the fuck cares about her? Quite obviously no one.
But whatever. I'm writing again. I have an account over on AO3. I write bandom fic now. I still can't write original fiction. I've put up some of my old Harry Potter fics. Some have done really well. Some not so well. Whatever. I put them up for myself mostly. Just because I can. I have a writing partner who is my best friend. She lives in England, but she's a better friend than most people I know or have known. We probably will never meet in person, but sometimes that's for the best.
Thanks for listening.