22days, 13 hours and 26 minutes
Thats how much longer I will be in Albany. And right now, it's too far away. I can't wait to leave this town. All it's filled with is back stabbing, self serving, unappreciative, stupid people. Im just so sick of busting my ass all the time, and getting no recognition, no thanks, nothing for it. My efforts arent even noticed by most of these people. It's just so frustrating. Granted, i'll miss my family like-whoa, and those that i claim are my family, but for the most part, hardly anyone around here even knows who i really am. Sometimes i think that i dont even know who i am, but deep down its clear. I know my values, my morals, my deepest likes and dislikes, the things i respect about others, and the things that make me want throw them into the depths of hell. My brother had it right: this was the suckiest year ever. It was a miserable year in which I found out who my true friends were, and truth be told, there arent very many of them. The very people whom I would have bet a small fortune on always being there for me ended up being the ones with the knives the deepest in my back. If they werent using me, they were betraying me. If they werent gossiping about me, they were putting me down to make themselves feel better. Thats not what friendship is. Thats what mortal enemies do to each other. BY GOD, doesnt anyone realize that we arent in middle school anymore. That most of us are adults and have been for several years now. Perhaps I have a misinterpreted view of the world, but to the best of my knowledge people didnt act like this to others that they cared about. And it's not like I just got in with the wrong crowd or something. New friends and ones that go back for years have all surprised me with their true colors. And part of me thinks that its just me, part of me wants to believe the rest of the world is still good and loyal, but my brother has had to put up with the same betrayals from his best friends. And its not fair, not to me, not to him, not to anyone who has had to go through this kind of hurt. I've come across one exception in the past year. One. A single friend who has put the feelings of others before the happieness of herself. It was more important to her that she not hurt her best friend, not upset her, make her jealous, or even unnerve her slightly. More important that her best friend was not unhappy, than it was for her to gain something she really wanted. And now she is being rewarded for it. A reward even better than the original prize, the one that she was willing to give up for friendship. That is true loyalty. Its a lesson for the people who are sleeping with thier friends boyfriends and girlfriends, the people that hang out with "friends" until someone better comes along, the people who claim they would go to the ends of the earth for a friend and at the first test of their promise they are no where to be found. If those people could only see the rewards they would get for staying loyal and remaining a good person, the world would still have a chance. So I am saying good riddance to the people who steal their friend's boy/girlfriends. Au revoir to to those that think they are better than everyone else. TTFN to the backstabbing, lying, sneaking, tempermental brats that this world has to offer. I will not be the back up plan anymore. I will not go out of my way just to be replaced. I wont defend people who will end up blameing me for their problems. I wont answer the phone just to hear how someone's boyfriend is mad at them again, and never be spoken to until the next time he is mad. I wont be ignored in favor of listening to someone who is just going to criticize. No more. I would rather be alone and as lonely as I am than have to put up with anymore of these demons in everyday clothes. Because I dont want to stop trusting in the good in people. I want to give everyone a fair chance. I dont want to believe that the world is full of morons who only think of how they can get ahead in life, and as long as they are ahead, the rest of the world can rot in hell. I would rather be alone, and hope that the rest of the world has some real loyalty in it, than meet one more person who will throw me to the wolves just to further their own means.