More daughter stuff

[kcontheroad]

Me: (Talking about the hardships of getting about on crutches.) Well, it could be worse.
She: How??
Me: It could be you.
She: (Pause) But, that wouldn't hurt you.
Me: Oh, yes it would.

Comments

[susanne_est_moi]

*decides that this would be one of those situations where my mom insists that she loves me more than I could ever possibly love her*

*at which point I inform her that she is very, very wrong and that I, in fact, DO love her more than she loves me*

*at which point she laughs as if I'd said something extraordinarily hilarious*

*decides to wait to have children before arguing again*

[kcontheroad]

Wise decision.

[kcontheroad]

I need to add --

I've always had a problem with the notion of being able to love some one 'more' or 'less.' In my mind, love is a yes or no proposition.

There are, however, very different TYPES of love. There are probably as many types of love as there are people we love. Do I love my daughter or my son more? Um. No. I do think I love them differently. Do I love my parents or my husband more? No. I do love them differently.

So, I don't think you love your mother more or less than she loves you. You do both love one another. They WAY she loves you is definitely different from the way you love her and yes, you will only learn what that difference is when you have a child.

[missdiane]

Maybe it's because I've had very little sleep and a big overwhelming (in a good way) day but that small exchange made me tear up (as well as miss my Mom)

*HUGS*

[kcontheroad]

(Hugs)

guilt

[tomandelaine]

I always (forgive me) felt my own misery was worse (for me) than KCs. Not that I didn't have empathy but I must confess I felt less misery for my progeny than I did for me.

Having said that - I hated to see you suffer. Truly. But I tried not to have you compare your suffering to mine - a loosing game.

If your daughter is half the daughter you are - not to worry. mom

Re: guilt

[kcontheroad]

Awwwww, mom. Don't feel guilty! We live what we learn. I think in your case it was more that you were brought up to ignore pain and suffering because, heck, we all have it and the best thing to do is to move on. I could be wrong, but that's my guess

Re: guilt

[kcontheroad]

Oh, and I meant to add that there's more to the meaning of the little exchange above than just the physical pain. If I'm on crutches, I do ask people to carry things for me and the like, but I try to keep it to a minimum. For the MOST part, being on crutches inconveniences me alone. I hope!

If it were Marilyn, not only would I have the empathy pain, but I'd also be far more involved in her logistics than she is in mine. So 'it could be worse' includes the fact that more people would be inconvenienced in that situation than in this one. As you can see, my self-interest radar is perfectly healthy.

[lupinfriend]

* snuggly huggles *