Why I Don't Write Here
Just for the folks who actually read the things I post here, I figured I'd write a bit about why there aren't many of them.
For a long time now I haven't written down anything that happens to me. Haven't taken pictures. Haven't kept too many keepsakes either. I even let go of my memories pretty easily. It used to be I held on to things pretty tightly. I was terrified of letting go of anything, my friends, my memories, anything at all. I remember one time on a boat trip up to Lake Powell I lost my t-shirt over the side of the boat. There were nights after that that I couldn't get to sleep for hours thinking about that shirt at the bottom of the lake where I could never get it back. I used to spend way too much time worrying about those kinds of things, and trying to hold on too tightly to the people, places and things around me. It kept me from taking risks and having new experiences for quite some time.
So now, I just let go. I live each moment as it comes, and then I don't dwell on it because there's already a new one that I don't want to miss. Maybe I let go too easily. God knows as a writer I should be keeping all these valuable memories as fodder for my creative genius sometime in the future. But I do know that I've been a lot happier since I stopped being quite so addicted to the past. So that's why I don't keep a journal per se here. By the time I get around to writing about something I've usually already moved on to the next thing. I'll still try to open up and spill my innermost secrets and such, if only for the excersize. But this is more a place for thoughts than memories.
For a long time now I haven't written down anything that happens to me. Haven't taken pictures. Haven't kept too many keepsakes either. I even let go of my memories pretty easily. It used to be I held on to things pretty tightly. I was terrified of letting go of anything, my friends, my memories, anything at all. I remember one time on a boat trip up to Lake Powell I lost my t-shirt over the side of the boat. There were nights after that that I couldn't get to sleep for hours thinking about that shirt at the bottom of the lake where I could never get it back. I used to spend way too much time worrying about those kinds of things, and trying to hold on too tightly to the people, places and things around me. It kept me from taking risks and having new experiences for quite some time.
So now, I just let go. I live each moment as it comes, and then I don't dwell on it because there's already a new one that I don't want to miss. Maybe I let go too easily. God knows as a writer I should be keeping all these valuable memories as fodder for my creative genius sometime in the future. But I do know that I've been a lot happier since I stopped being quite so addicted to the past. So that's why I don't keep a journal per se here. By the time I get around to writing about something I've usually already moved on to the next thing. I'll still try to open up and spill my innermost secrets and such, if only for the excersize. But this is more a place for thoughts than memories.