Big Update Coming On.
Ok. So i feel like i have a lot to say. To so many different people.
Vacation Update First: Tennessee was the most amazing time. I miss having my sister close, shes so crazy and makes me laugh so hard. Nicole made the trip so amazing too. I dont know what I would do without that girl. (Probably not be able to walk, or know why my arm was "loose" or brush my teeth with out her...) We even got to be on Nashvilles news too! (Of course its a christmas tree!)Tennessee made me realize something. "Im a big girl now" I am leaving soon. Everything will change next year. Not one thing with be the same. I am so excited but so scared. I have decided i think i need to do some serious lemonade stands b/c im pretty sure Aubrun has won my heart. I just dont know what to do with someone who has won my heart.
I have never been so in love in my life. I never thought someone could be in love like this at my age. Not seeing Phil everyday.. or even talking to him is killing me, i dont know how we are gonna make it through next year without eachother, b/c if he gets into UF he needs to go there. He has also figured on going there. His parents went, Drew is there, im sure he could run there b/c hes amazing. I cant be the reason he decides not to go somewhere, that would kill me. Being without him is going to kill me too though. I wish i could Call Costa Rica right now just to tell him i love him.
I keep having wierd dreams. I know its from anxiety. In Tennesee i had a ton of wierd ones. But last nights was crazy. Everyone from my past was at a wedding. And it was as if i had closure with every single one. Especially 2. It was wierd. I was completely alone, yet surrounded by people i used to be friends with, use to care so deeply for. And at the end of the wedding i was fine. I knew each one of them was ok and that i was so happy to ever have the chance to be their friend and how much i learned from them and loved them.
Christmas is going to be great. Phil will be home soon. I am home and can see all my friends that i have not seen in a week.. feels like so much more. Im ok with the SAT winning b/c i will be a good person no matter where i go. And i know that people might look down on me for being deffered, but I know im a strong person and will succeed, its about finishing stong, the beginning is just that, the beginning. You cant make me feel bad about myself.
I love the holidays. And im not ready to go back to school just yet. Im enjoying the freedom.
<3 katie