1 is the loneliest number... well mono is anyways
ugh. i can't do it anymore. this semester absolutely blows. i get fucking mono half way through the semester!?! what kind of bullshit is that? how the fuck did i get mono?? it certainly wasn't karrie, the time frame is entirely off. by a whole month! the timing suggests that it could have been sam, but somehow i really doubt it especially considering he's never had it and is worried that he may get it from drinking out of my cup. ugh. i can't do this anymore. one of my professors told me that if i can't go to class, i should consider resigning the course or taking an incomplete. the other professors want everything still to be done on the posted deadlines. not a single extension!! there is no way i can keep up when i can't sit down and read when i'm healthy. well, i could read now that i don't plan on attending class, but i don't usually absorb the material as is necessary for a 300 level bio course to pass. or even beat the curve. ugh. i can't do this anymore. and being at school itself is making it so hard. knowing that even the slightest impact to my stomach may kill me is not at all good to hear. i was actually enjoying life on the whole before this shit went down. i am a simple person - one who does not a lot to keep me entertained - but dammit when i can't do the one thing i really love in this god forsaken world (that is, learn biology and take part in bio related activities), i tend to get a bit unhappy. and i am all alone out here. sam has been amazing as far as sam goes: he poured me some water and offered to clean my room (i promptly declined, but i appreciated the offer). jeremy was kind enough to buy me some materials. i appreciate the thought, but i am pretty sure the nighttime medication would kill me if i took the proper dosage. wanna know why? it's because for the last week or so i have been waking up at 2 or 3 in the goddamn morning so that i can spit all of the phlegm (bacterial dna?) out into a bucket so that i can breathe again! i stop breathing at night!! my tonsils are swollen to a point that breathing normally is difficult, but when the phlegm covers my opening, i need to wake up! if i took that medicine, i would probably not wake up and end up dying. yeah, so it pretty much been me with my irregular sleep patterns, my spit bucket, and a glass of water (to make sure i can still swollow) the last couple of days. the kicker? i am already down to my high school weight and now that any solid food is liable to not quite make it passed my tonsils, i am really only able to eat pudding, applesause, yogurt, and jello. i am going to look emaciated if i have to keep this diet up for long! ... ugh ...