it only takes a second to fall in love but a lifetime to figure it out.
i know it's been a few days. work has been tough and i seem to be losing my voice. i'll try not to spare too many details but I can tell you right now i'm not really in the mood to talk about work anymore, but in case you're interested, you can always ask me.
i just found out today that one of my best guy friends (whom i've known since 6th grade and has always had a crush on me) is now dating someone that I really barely even know. not that she's not a good girl, i just didn't think that was his type- the ditzy ones who play dumb half the time when they're not. i like her okay, i guess the main reason it bothers me is that we did have a romantic encounter last summer and something ended up happening between us physically, but he wasn't ready for commitment at that point and i guess i scared him away. it was one of those 'too good' kind of things that sometimes guys don't react positively too...the thing is...it's been in the back of my mind even since it happened and now that things aren't going so well with JGB and I wanted to consider maybe giving it another shot...i guess i won't have my chance now. i just don't see how they are going to work out with him in Daphne and her in Tuscaloosa. I guess they will find a way. i just feel so out-of-the-loop these days.
i also found out that since i didn't get to go to his house warming party saturday ( i had to work) that my best friend invited my sister. not that it matters- it's just sucks having to work when everyone is having fun and stuff and i'm stuck here- yeah Destin's beautiful but what does it matter if you don't have someone to enjoy it with. that's what's the worst. there's no one here I can really relate to. i feel like i'm all alone on the beach.
a few days ago after work i went down and found a good spot to lay out that's public- the only probelm being that by the time i got there it was like 5:25 and getting a little chilly with the breeze so I didn't get to enjoy the sun much. it was pretty out, but it seems like i'm always too late. today i got out late and came home and now i am here moping. god i hate how it seems like the timing on everything is off for me. I was interested in EW, but he wasn't ready, now he's ready but I'm not there to convince him to give me a chance and he's dating someone else. JGB and i have basically driven eachother away with out attitudes and having jumped into things. I don't even know how i feel about him at this point- except that i care about him as a person. Had he come along later in life, after working out his issues, maybe we could have hit it off better. i really don't know. Then there's this other guy....one who i dare not mention for fear of the wrath from my best friend, but I really do think I had more chemistry with him than anyone else and he's the only financially stable guy I know....I just don't know what he wants now and I think it may be worthless to try and get some kind of commitment from a guy like him. all these things are going every which way and I don't know which way to turn.
I have to take my real estate course next week and then my exam. let's hope I pass it the first time.
gah...i can't think about this anymore. it's giving me a headache. i think i'm going to taco bell and then maybe blockbuster. somebody please tell me i'm not going crazy over here in Flor-i-dia.
i just found out today that one of my best guy friends (whom i've known since 6th grade and has always had a crush on me) is now dating someone that I really barely even know. not that she's not a good girl, i just didn't think that was his type- the ditzy ones who play dumb half the time when they're not. i like her okay, i guess the main reason it bothers me is that we did have a romantic encounter last summer and something ended up happening between us physically, but he wasn't ready for commitment at that point and i guess i scared him away. it was one of those 'too good' kind of things that sometimes guys don't react positively too...the thing is...it's been in the back of my mind even since it happened and now that things aren't going so well with JGB and I wanted to consider maybe giving it another shot...i guess i won't have my chance now. i just don't see how they are going to work out with him in Daphne and her in Tuscaloosa. I guess they will find a way. i just feel so out-of-the-loop these days.
i also found out that since i didn't get to go to his house warming party saturday ( i had to work) that my best friend invited my sister. not that it matters- it's just sucks having to work when everyone is having fun and stuff and i'm stuck here- yeah Destin's beautiful but what does it matter if you don't have someone to enjoy it with. that's what's the worst. there's no one here I can really relate to. i feel like i'm all alone on the beach.
a few days ago after work i went down and found a good spot to lay out that's public- the only probelm being that by the time i got there it was like 5:25 and getting a little chilly with the breeze so I didn't get to enjoy the sun much. it was pretty out, but it seems like i'm always too late. today i got out late and came home and now i am here moping. god i hate how it seems like the timing on everything is off for me. I was interested in EW, but he wasn't ready, now he's ready but I'm not there to convince him to give me a chance and he's dating someone else. JGB and i have basically driven eachother away with out attitudes and having jumped into things. I don't even know how i feel about him at this point- except that i care about him as a person. Had he come along later in life, after working out his issues, maybe we could have hit it off better. i really don't know. Then there's this other guy....one who i dare not mention for fear of the wrath from my best friend, but I really do think I had more chemistry with him than anyone else and he's the only financially stable guy I know....I just don't know what he wants now and I think it may be worthless to try and get some kind of commitment from a guy like him. all these things are going every which way and I don't know which way to turn.
I have to take my real estate course next week and then my exam. let's hope I pass it the first time.
gah...i can't think about this anymore. it's giving me a headache. i think i'm going to taco bell and then maybe blockbuster. somebody please tell me i'm not going crazy over here in Flor-i-dia.